i'm not one to usually come to message boards for love advice, but i just need to rant and vent, and i'm pretty sure my friends are sick of hearing about my relationship woes.

after over a year of an up and down relationship, things were starting to look very promising for the girl i am/was seeing. i won't go into too many details, but she was just getting out of a long term relationship and i was trying very, very hard to give her the time and space needed to get over him. well, last night things just got weird. i came over cooked her up a little dinner (fried potatoes with onions, peppers, and mushrooms), we were hanging out watching tv, and she left the room. when i walked into the back of the apartment, she just got weird talking about feeling suffocated, and needing space.

we then spent the next hour or two discussing things. but, the thing is, even as i was suggesting we take more time/space, she kept arguing her point. i tried to explain to her that i was understanding and she just kept going on about why she feels that way. i also tried to explain that we were seeing the same solution, but from different angles/paths and she was misinterpretating this as me not understanding her. ultimately, i still ended up sleeping there last night, but things don't look that great for the future. although, today she text messaged me with "i think with a little breathing space, everything will work out." i don't know how to react anymore.

i don't want to move on and miss out on what i think could be great. but, i don't want to hang around and have things never work out and miss out on other things.

Did you ask, "OK, how can I give you more space"? and then what did she say?

I think she's confused, personally or having trouble asking for what she wants.

I'm probably not the best one to offer advice on this. Hopefully someone else will respond with some helpful suggestions. I never did get the whole, I need space thing. That always worried me. I don't know your age, and I am on the "older" side of the fence. So I know things are probably different now than when I was dating. Anyway, I remember seeing a guy on Oprah giving advice to women and the bottom line was always, "he's just not into you". I tend to agree with his sentiment. I guess it could go the other way, women towards guys. But I don't mean to put you off about it. I guess she really could be confused, needing space. That's why I'm hoping you get some more input. I would hate to be discouraging if there is a chance that things can work out. Good luck.

Getting over a breakup after a long relationship is hard, it makes us girls..actually I shouldn't group us all together so personally, it makes me moody and confused. I've been snapping at people for no reason...earlier I was cooking for my parents and I took the fish out of the oven and my mom was standing next to me and I threw the flat pan on the counter and started screaming about how I didn't understand why I had to cook this crap. Someone who didn't understand what I'm going through might just think I'm losing my mind or have split personalities, but a break up is hard...it effects your mind, heart, soul and body.
She is VERY lucky to have you right now, and it would be very sweet to buy her a card, write down how you're feeling in it, tell her you'll be there for her whenever she needs you. Little gestures like that help tons. I don't know why she is ending one relationship and beginning a new one, but remember you might not know all of the details...My boyfriend started going to strip clubs (sometimes 3 nights a week) doing drugs, calling me names like "bitch and slut" he'd hang up on me, put me last, make fun of my vegetarianism, make remarks about my body, tell me I was constantly wrong. I excused him over and over and finally he said to me he wanted a break...I was devastated, and soon afterwards I found out that's not what he really wanted, what he wanted was for me to be there when he wanted me to be and then not exist when he had other things going on.
I haven't made any final decisions on what I'm going to do, but lately I have been putting alot of distance between us.
If you think she is worth it, stick in there with her and help her through it.:hug:

I agree with DG. It can take some people (like me!) a pretty significant amount of time to get over serious relationships, and the suppressed anger/frustration can attack anyone at any time. I wouldn't think too much of this behavior, except to take it as a sign that she is still hurting. Try to be there for her if you can, but don't be afraid to point out that she is hurting you with her erratic behavior if it comes to that. Give her time, give her love, give her support, and I'm sure that everything will work out for the best. :)