So today I was at work, and then a person invited us to get some free food in a small company affair. While I usually have no problem getting free food, I was now trying to be vegan. It was interesting. They was food that I could eat. I sighed, but I was the only one gathering food at the time, so the hosts were really pushing the meat dishes on me. Now, I am 6'2" 215 lb African american. I usually have no problem with people trying to force things on me. When I say no, its usually final. Anyway, I was invite to this event, but now I was trying to take only certain food and the hosts were watching me, so I felt peer pressure that I have never felt since high school. I toke up just a little bit of the meat dish, but I loaded up on the other dishes. Then while I was sitting, I was constantly ask how the meat dishes were. It finally came to time where it was the last thing on my plate, so I toke a bite, chew it and discreetly dismiss of it in my other things. I just said that it did not agree with me. I immediately toke seconds without any meat dishes, but I still feel bad for succumb to peer presuure and taking a bite of meat when I did not want it. Hmmm... Oh well, so how does other people deal with these situations? Oh yea, this is my second week as a vegan.

Just say no! There's no easy way to handle it.

Just say no! There's no easy way to handle it.

Well, gee, I think if the original poster had the willpower or guts to "just say no" they wouldn't have posted asking for ideas...

That said, I think it all depends on the situation, and how far into veganism you are... it DOES get easier, and it is harder at first. There's a couple threads on here about how to deal with omni's and answers to give when they push you...

I'd recommend reading up on veganism and the reasons you chose it (health, moral reasons, animal rights, etc...) so you're VERY convicted not to touch the stuff, no matter the pressure from others. Try to think of some snappy comebacks - as truthful or subtle or snarky as you want them.... "I'm allergic, I'll blow up like a bloated whale if I touch the stuff" or "I don't eat the rotting, disease-filled carcasses of cruelly tortured dead animals, I'm sorry you do..." (yes, my teenager just used that in her school lunch-room..).

Come here to VB often - you'll get LOTS of support and understanding, many others are in the same situation you are - it WILL get easier...

I usually just smile and say, "no thanks." If they keep pushing it, like saying, "It's really good", I just try to be really friendly and say, "I'm sure it is, but no thanks," or "I'm good." "this over here will do", "I'm not in the mood for that", "These (potatoes, etc.) look really good, I really want more of these instead of that." Sometimes I might even joke with the person, "Oh, you must be really proud of that dish, I'm sorry I won't be having any, I'm sure other people will enjoy it." If necessary you can change the subject, asking people about themselves is often a good way to get them talking about something different. "Those are nice earrings, where did you get them."

You might want to make a list and imagine yourself saying various things and see what feels comfortable. If you think people will automatically think you are vegetarian, that is often not the case. It sounds like the situation you were in was a bit more high pressure than most.

I say, "No thanks, I don't eat meat."

I say, "No thanks, I don't eat meat."
Ditto.

I usually respond with a "no thanks" many people will leave it at that. If they ask again then I'll say "I don't eat meat, I'm vegan." At no point were they being rude to me so I don't like to be rude to them. But beware, if you mention you're vegan they WILL ask you questions. "Oh can you eat this?" "NO? well what do you eat?" "Not even cheese?" and so on. The more you're in this situation the more you'll learn how to handle it. Next time just try hard to say no thanks and make sure they know you just don't want to eat their meat.

I used to say "No Thanks, I am taking a sabatacle from meat" Now I simply say "No Thanks" and when pushed, say I don't eat meat. I feel like it's not longer "my problem" but more theirs.

It is weird at first, but you'll get used to it. If asked, just say as the others suggsted, "I'm vegan. No meat for me." You'll get used to saying no.

Welcome to the club.

hey there:D sorry that you are having this prob--i never had it cause i always disliked meat--my mom said that when i was younger i used to hide it--as not to eat it---lol--but i agree with people who said that i just say No Thanx and it usually ends with that--if people keep persisting then i say I am a Vegetarian--i dont eat meat--Then they usually stop or ask questions or on rare occasion say oH thats strange---i dont get angry i feel its their deal and leave it that way.

peace and love

jenn:cool:

Yeah, no thanks works sometimes, and is always a good place to start. If they push with the "it's really good, my mother (aunt, cousin, the chef, boss, whatever) made it special" I add the I don't eat meat, politely answer polite questions, and hope they drop it. If they don't drop it I have no problem telling them that it'll make me wicked sick, and asking them in that fake-polite voice if they'll be really sick for me for a week. They usually drop it.

Apparently, charm school just didn't take. Oops.

j.

the more comfortable/confident you become in eating/living vegan, the easier and more comfortable it will get to decline offers of meat and other non-vegan things (gracefully, if you choose ;)) . it wasn't long for me before i didn't feel akward at all to just reply, "no, thank you. i'm a vegetarian/vegan." no one has ever seemed to take any offense to that in my experience.

I don't eat the rotting, disease-filled carcasses of cruelly tortured dead animals, I'm sorry you do..." (yes, my teenager just used that in her school lunch-room..).\

I dont recommend using that one. From what I've witnessed, that confrontational appproach tends not to be that productive in the long run. I can't see the point of antagonising people you have to work/go to school with. You'll just alienate yourself and you end up with more problems.

Pakole, I usually act according to the situation. If I'm with a group of people who are think are going to react reasonably to my vegetarianism, I'll just say "no thanks, I dont eat meat". If I think they're going to wig out on me I'd be more careful and just say "no thanx" or I don't get into discussing it at all. I've kept it simple like that on many occassions and no-one has ever challenged me.

I dont recommend using that one. From what I've witnessed, that confrontational appproach tends not to be that productive in the long run. I can't see the point of antagonising people you have to work/go to school with. You'll just alienate yourself and you end up with more problems.

I agree. I find that if they aren't being rude to you there really is no reason to be rude to them. There are plenty of ways to politely say you don't eat meat.

I don't think I've ever had problems with this, so I might be way out in the left field with this post. I don't understand the trouble with saying "I don't eat meat. I am a vegetarian." I do know that some people don't understand vegetarianism or why people become vegetarian...so explaining it to someone can sometimes be tough, especially in a group of people with 1,000 questions flying your way (and even tougher when you're new to it) but simply explain "I respect your decision to eat meat, please respect mine not to." I don't understand how people can judge someone by whether or not they eat meat...I was reading another post which was the other way around ( a vegetarian having a problem with an omni boyfriend/husband) and it blows my mind to think that someone can say something like "I don't allow meat eaters in my home.." It is wonderful to stand for your convictions and stand up for animals, but there is a point where you have to realize everyone will always have their own opinons and alot of people simply just don't care. I suggest the next time you are in a situation like that tell people you have become a vegetarian, and if they keep questioning you on it, tell them to pick up a book on vegetarianism. You shouldn't have to sit there and be uncomfortable. As long as they respect your vegetarianism, you should respect their choice.

I dont recommend using that one. From what I've witnessed, that confrontational appproach tends not to be that productive in the long run. I can't see the point of antagonising people you have to work/go to school with. You'll just alienate yourself and you end up with more problems.

Pakole, I usually act according to the situation. If I'm with a group of people who are think are going to react reasonably to my vegetarianism, I'll just say "no thanks, I dont eat meat". If I think they're going to wig out on me I'd be more careful and just say "no thanx" or I don't get into discussing it at all. I've kept it simple like that on many occassions and no-one has ever challenged me.

I agree...
When I'm in the room with my family or friends I feel free to say whatever I want about eating meat and/or not eating it because they know that I don't think they are wrong or horrible people for not being vegetarian. They know it's my choice, my opinion, and I don't expect them to become one any time soon..but when you're in a room full of strangers or people you don't know very well, doing something like that can and will probably offend someone and make you come off bad.
I think we all know we're right :lol: for not eating animals, but they have their points too, and that's fine and dandy for them... I really don't think it should have to be a huge deal.

--my mom said that when i was younger i used to hide it--as not to eat it---lol--

Heh heh...I used to do that :D I'd hide meat underneath other foods on my plate or when mum wasn't looking put some in my pocket or throw some to the dog.

Anyway...I haven't had someone pushing me to eat meat yet but when/if someone does I'll just say "no thanks"...if they continue pushing then I'd say I'm vegetarian and hopefully, they'd leave it at that.

I can usually get by with "no thank you". I may have to repeat it a few times, however. If it starts to become an issue it's usually because the person doing the "pushing" is worried that my selections are limited and I won't have "enough" to eat. Then they feel like they have to apologize to me.

You could just say "no thanks >veg option< looks good, I might try that one". After a while I found that people actually care very little about what I am eating, as long as I am eating something. I usually do not state that I am a vegan although I obviously don't have anything against others who do. Good luck with everything, I hope you start feeling more comfy soon, it can be a little daunting in the beginning. Nice job on your decision to go veg to by the way :)

thanks everyone for your posts of support and concern.

Though I'd *like* to say "I don't eat the rotting, disease-filled carcasses of cruelly tortured dead animals, I'm sorry you do...", I agree that's not the way to win friends or respect for your choices. If offered, I decline. If pressed, I decline again. If pressed further, I say that I'm veg. They usually drop it, but interestingly, I've had many experiences similar to karenlovessnow--they start apologizing, worrying about my options, and pointing out the things that have "just a little bit of chicken" in them. grrr Not exactly helpful, and certainly not necessary, as I've been feeding myself for quite some time and am certain of my capabilities.

You'll get used to it as you go along, as will those with whom you interact regularly. MOST people accept it, drop it, and move on. Some are curious. Some are confrontational. Some will make fun of you and tell you how they just couldn't live without "meat." Just nod and smile. :)

I say, "No thanks, I don't eat meat."

Same. Seems to suit me fine.

We were at a cocktail party recently and the waitress kept bringing over all these meat dishes and I kept declining. Finally I asked if there were going to be vegetarian dishes and she remembered me and brought every tray of veggie food over and told me to take extra. Very kind.

For what it's worth... I made the "...rotting meat..." suggestion quite sarcastically - as I explained, it was originally made by my TEENAGER - I personally wouldn't go there.

TNS, there are times I would love to use that 'rotting meat'suggestion. But I would definitely have to be pushed over the line of civility!

(Sometimes I miss being young enough to get away with stuff like that!)

To the OP, I tend to say "No, thanks." and if they continue, I will say "I don't eat animals.", which I have found to be more effective than "I don't eat meat", because fewer people will then ask if I eat chicken or fish. (And if they do, I can review basic elementary school biology; fish=animal, chicken=animal, etc.)

Yea, victories. While the situations was totally similar. In fact, it was not similar at all. I like this victory nonetheless. I am the steward for the house that I am living in. I am also in charge of getting people to cook. The other night, we were having a social, and a girl ask me if I wanted some ice cream. I never really like ice cream in the first place, but now, I should not eat it as a vegan. I told her no thanks. She insisted, but I just said that I did not want any. Then one of my stronger vegetarian friend told them that I was a vegan, so she stop and ask me why. Before I even got to talk, my friend again said that I was doing it for health reasons among other reasons. So now the house will make vegan option instead of just a vegetarian option. Hooray. Thanks for ya'll support. Yea