This was brought on by the "opposites attract?" thread...

it has become apparent in my 5 month relationship with a loving, devoted boyfriend that we are very different.
this is okay, IMO... as long as it's only when it comes to the little things.
he's not veggie, but i am totally okay with that.
that is not the issue here...
what matters is our conflicting ways of dealing with our problems. he is the type of person who likes to just forget about it and move on once it's dealt with to his liking... i however like to analyze everything to death, and am much more emotional that he is.
things stick with me for longer, and some events hav recently occured which hurt me, and caused me to 'put up some walls' when i had felt pushed away.
5 days later, he expects me to be over it and done.
he apologized... what could possibly still be wrong?!

but it doesn't work that way for me... i was hurt, and am not just going to forget about the entire ordeal. on the other hand i also do not plan to dwell on it, or keep bringing it up....
i think he is being unfair.
he thinks i should just drop it, and be done with the whole issue...
and i think he needs to accept that it hit deeper than he thought; and that the effects the issue had on me are not just doing to disappear overnight.

he is moving in with me in 2 days... and we are argueing.
this isn't good.
i don't even know what to think... i love him very much and want desperately to be able to get past this...
why does love have to be so damn complicated?

(this was just a rant, really.... thanks to anyone who reads/replies to this)

You sound a lot like me and my boyfriend. I've argued with him more angrily than anyone else ever, and I'm like you in that I like to analyse things and my boyfriend seems like yours' in that he'd often rather just shove it into the corner if he can and forget about it.

I've heard it said that before a woman can really get past a situation where she's been hurt, she has to know that not only is the offending party sorry, but that he(or she) understands how he made her feel. Of course often in these situations both people contributed to it, so acknowledging your own contribution might make him feel less defensive?

If you take a collaborative approach to it, it might help. Like: "I have a problem here, and I need your help to fix it." Guys like fixing problems, and if he feels like you're asking for help rather than blaming him for whatever went wrong, he's way more likely to talk about it.

If you're anything like me, you need to understand a fight inside and out before you can feel ok with it. Not only that, but having the other person also understand it at the level you do really helps also. If you both know what went wrong and know to avoid it in the future, it's less likely to happen again, right?

Good luck :)

My bf is one of those people when he has a problem he doesn't say anything about it....and then he will get mad when something that has to do with the problem happens and I have no idea whats going on lol. But whenever he gets mad he won't talk to me at all and I sit beside him and say "you have to talk to me when you have a problem. It'll never get fixed if you just try to push it away." over and over in his ear and he finally will talk to me about it and we make up.