It's called mucoepidermoid carcinoma. He's going to have surgery that will leave a hole in is palate, plus radiation. I want to help him. I went to school especially to learn to cook for those with special dietary and health needs. I'm willing to cook for him everyday and feed him those health-supportive foods that might control the cancer. But, I'm afraid he won't listen to me. He's a very stubborn meat and potatoes, white flour, sugar kind of guy. He already has diabetes and was on the liver transplant list until they found he had the cancer. I want to have a serious talk with him about changing his diet, but I'm afraid it will be for nothing, and I will have to sit here and watch my dad get sicker and sicker. :(

Aw...Kimberly :hug: I understand your desire to help your dad. Right now, perhaps all he needs is to know that you love him. Such a serious diagnosis may prompt him to make changes himself soon. He has a lot coming up...surgery, radiation (and the accompanying sickness). That's a lot to focus on already..perhaps after that would be a better time for your "serious talk". Be there for him, and when he's stronger, then you can give him the swift kick in the pants. :)

I'm so sorry. It is so frustrating when a person won't change their habits to save their life.

kimberly, i'm so sorry to hear that. :hug:
parents are supposed to be indestructable, and it's so hard to deal with when something like this happens.

but like jen said, he may decide that he's going to have to start living a healthier lifestyle. i had an uncle who had a stroke several years ago...he drank a lot most of his life, was a heavy smoker, and never watched his diet. but he was really lucky, and the stroke was minor enough that he was pretty much back to normal after a few days. but it was a big wake up call for him...he stopped smoking cigarettes right away and hasn't smoked since, he had already stopped drinking, and he started paying close attention to his diet (i.e., substituting veggie burgers for red meat, egg beaters for eggs, etc). and he's still doing great today. so maybe this is what it will take for your dad to start really paying attention to his health. and with your love and support to help him along, he'll make it through great.

Thanks for the concern and sympathy, everyone.

I would like to believe that this is the shock my dad needs to pay more attention to his health, but he already has diabetes and cirrhosis of the liver. With the news of these diseases, his lifestyle changes have been minimal at best.

Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers...

I'm really sorry about your dad. :( My mom has cancer, so if you need anyone to talk to who understands, pm me. :)

kimberly i am sorry to hear about your dad. we are also dealing with cancer in my immediate family. it is a hard diagnosis to hear. i will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Wow Kim, I'm so sorry. I hope that the treatment is successful and that he'll allow you to help him. :(

oh my gosh, kimberly. i don't even know what i can say, i can only offer this :hug:

I'll keep him and your family in my thoughts. Stay strong and do your best :hug:

He's a lucky father to have a daughter who is willing to do what it takes to help him. I'm sorry to hear about his cancer, Kimberly. I tend to agree with Jen about what he needs right now is support and love, and the rest can be brought up later.

You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Sorry to hear about your dad. It can definitely be frustrating to watch your family refuse to change their bad habits. There's a strong history of cancer on both my mom's and dad's sides of the family, yet some of my siblings refuse to change any of their habits to try and prevent it. But I agree with IAJ. Let him take in the diagnosis and treatment before trying to get him to change.

You and your dad will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care of yourself as well as your father Kim. :hug:

I'm sorry to hear about your father. :hug: I know you'll have some difficult times ahead, so please stay strong. :hug:

Thank you, everyone. :hug: My dad has said that he will eat what I will make him, so that's a good sign.

:hug: That is a good sign. When does he have the surgery Kimberly?

My dad has been scheduled for surgery on Feb. 24. It will be about a 6-8 hour surgery and he will have to stay in the hospital for a week. Six weeks after that, he will begin radiation. The surgery involves removing part of his hard and soft palate. My dad opted to have reconstructive surgery that involves taking skin from his arm to fill in the hole. It's more risky because the surgery is longer. Please pray that all goes well and keep him in your thoughts.

I'm thinking about you and your dad, Kimberly. My dad died from pancreatic cancer three years ago, so I can understand a little of what you are feeling. Please feel free to PM me if you would like to, and know that you are in my thoughts. :hug:

I will keep your dad in my prayers. Good luck.

You both will be in my thoughts as well. How is he feeling so far?

Oh Kimberly, it all sounds so familiar for me. My mum was diagnosed oral cancer some years ago. She had to live on soups and soft diet then for the rest of her life. She also had surgery,radiotherapy and chemo, I lost her two years after diagnosis.

Do all you can for him while he is still here. Let him have what he wants to eat, life is precious at the moment so just enjoy his company. Continue to show him you love him. To say I know what you ae going through, wouldnt be right as you have to go it alone and everyone is different.

Hugs to you and your family..

I hope your dad recovers quickly from his surgery and that all goes well. I'll be sending good vibes your way. Give him lots of love and care. Don't forget to take care of you too! *hugs*

i am sooo sorry to hear this--bigg hugg to you...take care..

peace and love

jenn:pibo:

I'm so sorry Kim! My dad died of cancer this past summer and I understand the meat and potatoes part of it. That is how he was. Have the doctors talk to him thats what I did. They said he had a better chance of living he ate that way. And he lived for an other 2 years by changing his diet. My mom also a breast cancer fighter has changed her diet and it has helped. So anyways if you ever ever need anyone I'm always here. I've been through a lot of this before. My door is always open!

Sorry to hear about your dad.

One thing I'd keep in mind is that he may be more open to dietary change once he enters treatment. A lot of people find red meat gives them a metallic taste. I found high-fat and sugar foods unpalatable. Offer the more healthful stuff and see if he goes with it? The good news is, if he goes for the switch it might be permanent. I lost my taste for soda entirely.

Best wishes,

Jeanne