I've been a vegetarian on and off for 9 years but fully committed to it about 2 years ago. But inspite of all my experience, I still sometimes have trouble dealing with people who find out and regard it negatively. I also have a friend who has recently become a pescatarian, and she'd like some advice on how to deal with people.

I usually am only greeted with indifferent curiosity and sometimes light hostility, but once in Louisiana I was full on attacked by someone. This dude OVERHEARD a conversation between me and someone else and walked over and started, out of nowhere, telling me that God wants us to eat meat and I will go to hell if I don't. What do you even say to that? I couldn't walk away because I was on a small military base and there was nowhere to go. I think I just told him to shut up or something.

I also have trouble telling people exactly why I don't eat flesh. It's definitely not for animal rights, and I can't say it's for health because I eat unhealthily sometimes, and I can't say I just don't like meat either because there is some I do and miss sometimes. I just sort of go, "Uhhh". Or I say, "I don't know, it's just better." I feel like I'm making vegetarians look bad for not being witty and quick with words.

In addition, what do I tell people who AUTOMATICALLY make some ignorant comment about how I'm a tree hugging animal lover? If I fit that stereotype I'd care, but it's really not me at all. I'm actually quite indifferent to animal cruelty and it has nothing whatsoever to do with my choice, but some people, usually men, will say something stupid like, "Hey, I've got news for you...plants have feelings too." I know I shouldn't care what people think about me, and I don't, but I still need to respond when I'm in a conversation.

Any advice?

You seem to be in the opposite situation as me... I'm just full of witty zingers and I never have a chance to use them because everyone's so damn nice to me! :grr: :lol:

Meater: You're going to hell for eating meat.
Me: Wow, it's a good thing I don't believe in hell.

Meater: God wants you to eat meat.
Me: That's funny, my god seems to disagree.

Meater: Why don't you eat meat?
Me: (fashion bunny voice) Where've you been?! Eating meat is so 20th century. :rolleyes:

Meater: Plants have feelings, too.
Me: (BIG :rolleyes: and voice dripping sarcasm) Thank you, L. Ron Hubbard.
(He's the mo-ron who initiated that old hoax about plants feeling pain and all that BS)

But seriously, even though you're not an animal-rights type vegetarian, I think you would benefit a lot by reading one of John Robbins' books, Diet For A New America or Food Revolution. He can really teach everyone a lot about how to be truly comfortable with your vegetarianism and learn to turn the other cheek on rude behavior by meaters. The man's a saint-- he's so at peace with himself that people sense it, and his attitude has actually won over some of the most diehard vegetarian-haters! It's really quite inspirational to read about. Another good one is Living Among Meat Eaters by Carol J. Adams.

Or failing that, there's a whole thread full of zingers here (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=31286). You could make yourself some crib notes!

Speaking of people voicing their unwanted opinions, I went to the *regular* grocery store the other day, after I had already bought my regular stuff at TJ's, and as we were having a dinner party for omnis, I bought a bunch of junk food we don't usually buy- mozarella sticks, chips, etc. And the guy behind me, started loudly voicing his opinion to his companion, "WELL YOU KNOW 90% OF WHAT THEY EAT HAS TO BE FRIED"
WTF?! Not only am I veggie, but I adhere to a strict anti-junk diet. I was seriously perturbed. I need to get a better handle on how to deal with ignorant asses. The other day I walked into a coffee shop and the girl standing behind the counter said, (not hello, how can I help you) "You look too young to have kids." (I had my two sons with me). Well that's nice, who asked you? I don't need to justify myself to you, tell you my real age, flash my wedding ring or brag that my husband is a firefighter. So instead I just ignore them. But man is my blood boiling by the time I get back to the car. Guess my parents never taught me how to be rude to complete strangers.
OK I know you didn't ask for, or want all that......:)

Hahahaha! Thanks for the stories and the smartass remarks!

BTW, have you seen the Praise Seitan t-shirt?

Wow! There seems to be a really different attitude towards vegetarians in the USA compared to England. It's widely accepted here and I haven't had any confrontations because of it, yet.
I was in California when I turned Veggie, staying with a vegan friend of the family who was suprised at my acceptance of her vegan lifestyle. I'd always wanted to go veggie but had never had quite the right push. She leant me John Robbins 'Food Revolution'. I read it in 2 days (Its quite a big book) and havent touched meat since. It's truely changed the way I look at the meat industry. You read this book and you'll never be short of things to say to the small minded people who have an issue with someone elses diet!!

Just wondering...why ARE you vegetarian? If not for animal rights or health or taste, then what? Anti-corporation? The environment?

Just wondering...why ARE you vegetarian? If not for animal rights or health or taste, then what? Anti-corporation? The environment?

Honestly, I deal more with close-mindedness from veg*ns than from omnis. Most omnis I know just kind of shrug and say "that's different" and that's as far as it goes. Veg*ns are the ones who'll start to grill me about the who/what/where/why and pass judgement if my answers aren't up to their own standards.

Wow! There seems to be a really different attitude towards vegetarians in the USA compared to England. It's widely accepted here and I haven't had any confrontations because of it, yet.

I didn't mean to misrepresent the entire country...there is a general positive/indifferent attitude towards alternative eating habits, and honestly, in my entire LIFE I've only recieved maybe 3 or 4 negative comments. The one man who attacked me was the only one, and I was in a high stress hurricane relief situation in the Deep South on a military base, all of which I believe might have had something to do with his outburst. Even in Texas, the buckle of the Bible belt, land of meat-and-potatoes blue collar citizens, there are ten vegetarian/vegan restaurants in Dallas, hundreds of veg-friendly, multiple veg organizations, and I can't even begin to count how many in Houston, San Antonio, especially Austin and the rest of the state. It's mostly the harmless sarcastic ignorant comments that aren't meant to be mean but you get freakin sick of dealing with because you hear them so much. And of course the totally neutral, "Oh, that's neat. Why do that?" is something I wanted help answering too. I will totally read the book you mentioned. Maybe I should just carry a card of veg health information around in my wallet.

CeilingofStars, at this point, it's so deeply ingrained and such a part of my life that I just don't think about it consciously all the time. Honestly, I think the question you asked me is the one I need to be asked by a fellow veggie to answer MY question. It started out as health. I had IBS and no energy and I noticed that when I stopped eating red meat on my period, I felt better. So eventually one thing led to another and I quit eating flesh altogether. Over time, my IBS disappeared totally and my energy returned, skin cleared up, was inspired to quit smoking, etc. I can't even remember the last time I had gas. But all of those things were so long ago it's hard to pull it all up on the spot, you know? When someone asks why veg, my natural reaction is to say, "I don't know, I just am. It's me." Eating meat just doesn't suit me.

Hahaha, praise seitan! I knew that joke was way too obvious for me to have made it up...

Honestly, I deal more with close-mindedness from veg*ns than from omnis. Most omnis I know just kind of shrug and say "that's different" and that's as far as it goes. Veg*ns are the ones who'll start to grill me about the who/what/where/why and pass judgement if my answers aren't up to their own standards.
I agree. But I think COS had a valid post in questioning eli's veg*nism due to the OP asking for help in answering that very question when it's posed.

Eli, if the only reason you're vegetarian is because that's just the way you've been forever, then tell people that. You could say it's because it did start for health reasons and then it just stuck. Same as you told us.

I am more than a little disturbed though that you said you're "quite indifferent to animal cruelty". You don't have to be a radical AR activist to show compassion.

"Eli, if the only reason you're vegetarian is because that's just the way you've been forever, then tell people that."

I think that's exactly what I'll start doing. I've been concerned with "properly representing" veg*nism but I guess it's not necessarily my responsibility to make a brilliant soapbox speech every time I'm questioned about my personal eating habits.

"I am more than a little disturbed though that you said you're "quite indifferent to animal cruelty". You don't have to be a radical AR activist to show compassion."

I knew I'd catch some slack sooner or later for this one! About not having to be a radical AR activist to show compassion, you're absolutely right. In fact, I am a humanitarian activist by trade. A fledgling one anyway, but it's what I want to do with my life and I have accomplished some pretty great things thus far. However, everyone has their specific calling, and animal rights is not mine. I have a dog just like most people and I'd open up a can if someone hurt her, and I won't listen to a story about a group of boys torturing a frog or lizard without saying, "That's mean", but when it comes down to what really motivates me compassion-wise, animal rights is not top of my list.

Of course, I don't doubt that this may change. All issues of any type of cruelty I might one day wish to combat in my career. For example, when I was younger political repression and injustice was my main concern and what I sought to end, but as I've grown older, disaster relief has really taken a passionate front seat to that. So I'd much rather be educated than debated, as I do agree that animal cruelty is indeed wrong.

I'm actually quite indifferent to animal cruelty

:brood:

CeilingofStars, at this point, it's so deeply ingrained and such a part of my life that I just don't think about it consciously all the time. Honestly, I think the question you asked me is the one I need to be asked by a fellow veggie to answer MY question. It started out as health. I had IBS and no energy and I noticed that when I stopped eating red meat on my period, I felt better. So eventually one thing led to another and I quit eating flesh altogether. Over time, my IBS disappeared totally and my energy returned, skin cleared up, was inspired to quit smoking, etc. I can't even remember the last time I had gas. But all of those things were so long ago it's hard to pull it all up on the spot, you know? When someone asks why veg, my natural reaction is to say, "I don't know, I just am. It's me." Eating meat just doesn't suit me.


I just wanted to say that this bit expresses my situation too, at least how I began my first attempts at reducing my meat intake and making a shift towards a more 'healthy' diet. I've had similar results, my IBS cleared up, my energy levels rose and I've felt so much better! Since then, I have become more aware and interested in environmental issues and animal rights, and could not eat flesh even if it suddenly agreed with me all of a sudden. So, I'm sort of glad to see that there other people out there enjoying the gifts that vegetarianism has to offer.

As for witty responses, Tesseract pointed you in the right direction, I'd just like to add that if you're comfortable with your lifestyle, try not to mind comments by strangers, just think that they're probably voicing their own frustration at something unfamiliar to them, and treat them with kindness (like you would at an ignorant child - it's not the child's fault if they don't know). Best of luck!

I agree. But I think COS had a valid post in questioning eli's veg*nism due to the OP asking for help in answering that very question when it's posed.

Eli, if the only reason you're vegetarian is because that's just the way you've been forever, then tell people that. You could say it's because it did start for health reasons and then it just stuck. Same as you told us.

I am more than a little disturbed though that you said you're "quite indifferent to animal cruelty". You don't have to be a radical AR activist to show compassion.

That bothered me too. I don't know how anyone can be indifferentt to animal cruelty, once they know it exist. Once someone is enlightened to this fact...I don't know how you could be indifferent.

I've meant people who truly don't know what happens at factory farms, etc. but the fact that you're on this site.............you can't be ignorant to this fact. I know omni's who don't care but I've never met a veggie.

You don't have to be an animal activist to be concerned about animal rights.

I'm not trying to be snotty or nasty....it just took be back.

I explained my views on animal cruelty in more detail in my last post on this thread.

Thanks so much for the advice guys!

Sometimes I wonder what kind of people some of you are hanging around. Or perhaps I just have a close circle of friends, most of them know I'm a long time vegetarian and don't bother. I have one friend who hounds me, but I hound her about her meat eating (jokingly), so it's an eye for an eye there.

I mean I know this is an issue...but to me there's no 'dealing' with close mindedness. There will always be close minded people. You 'deal' with not having a house, or not knowing where the next groceries are coming from, or someone in your family becoming critically ill.

I know it's relative, but to me we have the luxury to choose to get irritated when people call us tree huggers. Does it really matter? What other people say to you? I mean I guess it must matter. But to me it just seems like a non-issue. And when it does occur, it seems so ridiculous to me that I probably ignore it and move on.

B (devil's advocate)

I've never had a problem with the people I hang out with. I've never really had a PROBLEM with people in public, aside from that one guy in Louisiana. I just want to hear some new zingers and smart aleck comments and interesting statistics to say when people are curious or disapproving.

I do have ONE friend who was having some problems, very depressed at one time, and made a few negative comments. I remember discussing my vegetarian wedding reception with her and her saying, "You know, Eli, not EVERYONE is a vegetarian". And another time when our vegan friend was pregnant and her interrupting a conversation between me and the pregnant vegan to say something like, "You don't need to be pushing that sh*t on Erin right now, she has a a baby who needs protein even if you think she doesn't."

Needless to say, I hang out with that woman very little now and I have had serious talks with her about respecting other people's life choices. But at the TIME, it just pisses me off so much that I get all flustered and can't really remember exactly why it's okay to be pregnant and be vegan, I just know it's okay. Saying, "It's healthier" just doesn't cut it sometimes.

beh, you meet wackos all over, and it has nothing to do with you being a vegetarian.... You'll run into people who yell at you for using paper instead of plastic. You'll meet people who tell you you're going to hell because you vote for Al Gore. Hang out in public enough and you'll find people who can't keep their opinions to themselves on any number of subject.. What should I care though... I'm not the one that's shouting like an idiot spouting off about things they don't know anything about. Point and laugh, that's all I can say. :p

:up: beh, you meet wackos all over, and it has nothing to do with you being a vegetarian.... You'll run into people who yell at you for using paper instead of plastic. You'll meet people who tell you you're going to hell because you vote for Al Gore. Hang out in public enough and you'll find people who can't keep their opinions to themselves on any number of subject.. What should I care though... I'm not the one that's shouting like an idiot spouting off about things they don't know anything about. Point and laugh, that's all I can say. :p

:up:

One way to deal with it is to open your own mind so much the wind & closed-minded blow straight through with no effect

You just need to be confident in what you are doing and why you are doing it. No need to answer to anyone else.

^^^Amen!

I get a certain degree of satisfaction in knowing that I'm following the path that my heart/inner voice tells me is right. While I do try hard not to come across as one of those holier-than-thou militant veg*ns, I do truly believe in this path and that gives me the strength to deal with whatever comments come my way. And those who are closest to me, give me lots of support and respect in this.

I wish I was there. I find it very hurtful when people start spewing hell and brimstone because if you slightly knowledgeable, these people agruments end quickly. Anyway, I do not have any zingers. I just walk on by or let them talk. I do not usually have comebacks unless its based on research.

You know, i'm a Christian and I have learned something. I learned that there is nothing wrong with not eating meat. Meat is not healthy for you. I've been reading on it.

First of all, God DID NOT give us animals to eat them. He made animals for his glory just like he made us for. We both are for his glory. You are to here to show that you are a magnifacent creation of God. God didn't put animals here for us to eat, that happened after the fall.

When people do that (the OP's message), just say oh ok, yeah. But you know the true. You can not talk to people that are hostile towards you at that time. How are they gonna listen to you if you try to tell them the truth. They must want to know the truth, then they will be open to listen to you. Be polite. Don't retrurn eye for an eye. Don't cuss them out like they did you. Just be cool and say, me and blah blah blan, are having lunch or dinner. I would appreciate it if you would let us be.

You will not go to hell for not eating meat and you cetainly will not go for eating them. God is not looking at what you're phsycially eating. He deals with the spiritual being not the physical. Haha. mannnn, dont get me to talkin about God. :)

Peace in the Middle East. Bye. :)

And another thing. I just had to say this. Who are they to sit up and tell YOU that you're going to hell. How can people sit up and tell each other that they are gonna go to hell. They don't know nothin' about you and your life and you don't konw nothin' about them. How do they know how your life is gonna go. You may straighten up and fly right for all they know. Haha. If we keep judging people till the day we die and not be forgiven for the sins we have done, then we are gonna be in Hell.

How stupid it looks when people say that other's are gonna go to hell when we all are just at sinful and dirty as the dirty under God's feet. So there's no room to talk about people or even to judge others. We all are gonna die and be 6 ft. deep.