I live the Copenhagen area where it seems to be the latest trend for women to wear mink or fox scarves. What makes this even more disguisting is that they are essentially pelts that still have paws and heads....Anyway, I'm always so sad when I see these scarves being worn around the city. Last night I was helping my housemate move some furniture and noticed that she also had one of these revolting scarves hanging in the hallway. I didn't say anything to her at the time but I wanted to. What is a person suppose to say to that? I mean I still wear my leather shoes (that I bought before I was vegetarian, and I plan on buying a pair of Blackspot sneakers from Adbusters when they wear out) so I don't want to seem hypocritical. I just feel like I just can't not say anything especially for such morbid and blatant cruelty. What do I say without seeming self-righteous or rude?

I have a problem similar to yours... I babysit for people who buy fur hats ( you know those hunting hats with the flaps over the ears), fur figurines, fur everything! Also, they gave their lifelong pets (3 cats) away and now want to get a new dog. They are just really irresponsible and it frustrates me because I cant say anything to them or they wont hire (is that the right word for babysitting) me again.

There are plenty of strangers out there one can practice activism on. Doing it on people who's relationships with you are important is not worth it, imo. And by relationship, I don't necessarily mean close, but anyone you have to have a good rapport with in order to have peace of mind.

Another way you could think of it, too, is what if this person morally disapproved of you and told you so? How would it affect your living with that person?

My usual reaction is "Poor little creature." Said with deep sadness. You could add, "It's like wearing dead kittens around your neck." It takes a hard heart to wear fur in the first place, though, so appeals to sentiment may fall on deaf ears.

My initial reaction would be "Eeeek!!!! Something died in your closet!" Or "Eeeek! Something dead fell on you!" Once they explained. "Ohhhh in sad disbelieving voice, you think a dead animal is fashion? How sad."

Because it would be a housemate, I could have fun for months! (Maybe some of it would actually start to sink in)

If this person isn't aware of your views on animal cruelty, weave it into your conversations so she is aware. Also, you can advertise your views without saying a word by wearing shirts, buttons, etc. with pro-animal messages. I'd also make sure there is plenty of literature, leaflets, books, etc., regarding animal rights and the cruelty of the fur industry laying around your place.

I'd have to say something directly to her about the scarf also. Even if it was just to ask if it's fake since you can't imagine how anyone could be so heartless to buy the real thing because of all the pain and suffering it causes.

Another way to look at it is this. If she brought a caged fox to your home and then paid someone to kill it, skin it, and turn it into a scarf right there in your home, would you say something to her? After all, she HAS paid someone to confine, torture, and kill this animal and to turn its remnants into her attire.

Not sure who said this, but "A time comes when silence is betrayal. Silence benefits the oppressor, never the oppressed."

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Good luck with this situation. It's never easy to confront cruelty and ignorance, but if we only cared about doing what was easy, none of us would have chosen a veg*n lifestyle.

I usually say something from anger like, " I hope that poor thing comes to life and bites you on the neck!"

So wearing leather is OK, but wearing fur is not?

Sorry, if I don't sympathize.

Another way you could think of it, too, is what if this person morally disapproved of you and told you so? How would it affect your living with that person?

That's what I think of. I keep thinking someone is going to say something about how I support sweat shop labour. But if someone did say something I would say "good, let's work on that together". I really think that we all need to work together to end all forms of human cruelty -- to other humans, to other animals and to the environment.

The thing with furs are they are so blatant. But just remember that almost everyone you meet in a day eats meat and that is also needless torture of animals. Try to focus on your goal (end of humans commiting animal cruelty) and decide on how you can best achieve your goal and stay away from emotional outbursts (unless you decide that's your best course of action).

So wearing leather is OK, but wearing fur is not?

Sorry, if I don't sympathize.

She said she had her leather shoes before she became a vegetarian, and that she is buying vegetarian shoes henceforth. So I don't think she was saying leather-wearing is okay.

She said she had her leather shoes before she became a vegetarian, and that she is buying vegetarian shoes henceforth. So I don't think she was saying leather-wearing is okay.

Well, she's still wearing them? You'd think someone who claims to be against fur would refuse to wear leather also, regardless of when they were purchased.

You'd think someone who claims to be against fur would refuse to wear leather also, regardless of when they were purchased.I don't see why.

"Please tell me that's fake."

Or the flippant approach: "OMG, wearing dead animals is so last year."

I don't see why.

Just looking for some consistency. I guess it's just more convienent.

Just looking for some consistency. I guess it's just more convienent.Is the OP against wearing fur if it's worn only because it was already bought before the wearer became aware of the problems in the fur industry? If (s)he isn't, where's the inconsistency with his/her own wearing of leather? And even if (s)he is, there's still the argument that wearing a fox scarf (unlike maybe wearing a winter coat with some fur in the hood) more clearly promotes the acceptability of fur than wearing leather promotes leather, due to the more controversial status that fur has in our culture.

Castor, I can see where you are coming from. However, many veg*ns continue to use their leather shoes, wearing them out before purchasing new, non-leather ones. This doesn't seem hypocritical to me; conserving resources and reducing what we consume is a good thing.

That's right. Humane living is a journey. Not everyone is able to throw away every ethically questionable product in their home when they start becoming sensitized to humane issues. They can, however, vow not to make the same mistakes again.
The fact that you once bought a pair of leather shoes does not prevent you from opposing the fur fashion industry. If a fur-wearer makes a call on you, simply be truthful and explain the situation as you did to us. Then talk with them about things they can do (like choose not to purchase any more fur items).
I think what the others have suggested are great ways to tactfully plant a seed with people you know who wear fur. Wear a button or a shirt. Write a letter to a newspaper or magazine about the cruelty of fur. Slip animal-kindness into everyday conversations. Encourage them to visit a site like www.infurmation.com or watch a video like The Witness www.tribeofheart.org together.

"Please tell me that's fake."

Or the flippant approach: "OMG, wearing dead animals is so last year."

I love both of those responses! I would have to say something, and it's probably a good idea to use a bit of humor as you draw attention to your own dislike of the thing. Gad - it really has paws?

My initial reaction would be "Eeeek!!!! Something died in your closet!" Or "Eeeek! Something dead fell on you!" Once they explained. "Ohhhh in sad disbelieving voice, you think a dead animal is fashion? How sad."

Because it would be a housemate, I could have fun for months! (Maybe some of it would actually start to sink in)

I like this! This is probably about how I would do it.:kiss:

I love both of those responses! I would have to say something, and it's probably a good idea to use a bit of humor as you draw attention to your own dislike of the thing. Gad - it really has paws?
:up:

I like SeaSiren's "Something died in your closet/something dead fell on you" approach, too.

I keep thinking about how much it must look like (and be the same size) as my dog!

You should show your friend this and see how she feels then about wearing furs.
This is the worst thing i've seen, really brutal. Even made me cry and thought i was gonna be sick. So if you're easily upset or sqeemish i wouldn't watch it.

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=fur_farm

i'm crap with computers so i hope this is the right link.

Thanks for the suggestions. One issue is that I only saw it the one time and I've never ACTUALLY seen her wear it. So...How would I just slip that into conversation? I think I might only consider saying something if I see her wearing it.

I don't see a difference between fur, leather or meat. They're all body parts, taken without consent.

I might tell her that it creeps me out, one time. Maybe I'd try to say something to convince her never to buy another one...

"Say, do you still have that fox scarf I saw in your place once? See, PeTA is having a fur drive for homeless people, and I thought, if you're not using yours, you might consider donating it."

My (omni) sister has a coat with fox trim around the hood. She didn't buy it. Our aunt gave it to her for her birthday, and honestly none of us realized it was fox until my sister needed to wash it. The tag said it was genuine fox fur and only to take it to a "fur professional" for cleaning. Honestly, it looks fake. I mean, it's purple!