i'm new here, so i don't know if this is the right place to talk about this, but here goes.
i got made redundant nearly two months ago, it's made me feel low because i just can't seem to get another job.my bf is being sort of supportive, we both live with our parents so we don't have a mortgage or anything to pay.
i'm looking for a new job and have been to a few interviews but with no luck. i feel like such a failure.
i find relief in harming myself & as wrong as it may be, i can't stop.
i haven't got any mental health issues - i'm just down.
i don't cut my self badly, just enough to bleed but never deep enough to leave scars.my parents both work in a phyciatric hospital & would go completely bananas if they new.so i haven't rerally got anyone to talk to.i've only got one friend & she's more interested in her latest bf.
i cry alot - i feel like my whole life is over before it's hardly begun,like i've failed already.i haven't got a lot of confidence and i am obsessive about my weight, i know it's a slippery slope but i can't go and see a doctor because if my parents found out they would go mad.i don't want to tell anyone incase they think i'm doing this for attention - i'm not, but they might think that.
i don't know what to do.sorry for winging on & thanks for listening.

Snowy*

if you're doing these things, you do have a mental health issue that it worth taking note of and taking care of. see if you can find free care in your area. it's confidential no matter what.

Agreed, you do have mental health issues and they will not go away w/o work on your part. Do some research and see what sort of resources are available to you.

I wish you the best of luck.

http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/selfinjury.php I'm not sure where you are but here is some info on self injury resources in the uk. also this site http://www.selfinjury.com/ Hang in there things will get better. :hug:

You must admit you have a problem. I'm serious, if you want to get better, the first thing you must do admit what is wrong. It took me 18 years to admit I had a problem.

Now, from your post you sound like you are suffering from depression. You problably need some help to get out of it. You should probably tell your parents, I don't think they will "freak out" but will be concerned and want you to get help. I KNOW those things are hard to talk about to your parents, you don't even have to tell them the details, you can just say "I'm feeling down, I'd like to talk to someone professional about it" If you absolutely will not talk to your parents you can look into what mental health services are in your area. I was able to go to counceling and see a psychiatrist at no cost to me through my school. There was also free councelling at my old job (hospital) to all employees and their famlies. I'm sure that your parent's job probably has something like that.

edited to add: I was struggling though some of the same issues, so if you need someone to talk to who understands, feel free to PM me.

Hi, if you are over the age of 18, seeing a doctor (even a family doctor)is completely confidental. You need to see a doctor! He might prescribe you anti depressants, or something else that will help you get through this. Do not worry about being sent to the mental hpspital, most doctors will give you the option of going to the hospital unless they believe you have a high risk of suicide (although they will recommend it)
Try getting through a week without any self harm, if you can do this it may be something you can beat on your own, if not, you need to seek professional help immediately. Remember talking to someone is always great, if you can not confide in anyone, try writing in a journal.
A trick I learned (I study and would like to become a psychiatrist one day) is to hold ice in your palms and make a fist, this will create the sensation you're after usually.
It doesn't really matter how deep you cut, you're still cutting yourself. Try to start focusing on the positive, everyday write down a goal you would like to accomplish... nothing big, it can be "don't cut" a great place to start, or eat healthy. Under your goal write down ways that you will accomplish this, so if your goal is to not cut that day, under it you would write something like "instead of cutting I will- read a book to take my mind off things, take a hot bath, listen to my favorite CD." At the end of the day if you accomplished your goal, reward yourself- get into your favorite pjs and watch a movie or eat your favorite snack (without feeling guilty!) and tell yourself you did a great job! :)

:hug: It sounds like you're having a really rough time right now.

I'm a cutter too. I haven't cut in six months, but I think it's kind of like alcoholism in that once you get into it you're never really an "ex." I still get the urge to cut almost every day.

It sounds to me like you're depressed, and that your self esteem isn't doing so great either. What I'm also hearing is that you're feeling hopeless and you don't feel like you have anyone who you can talk to about your problems. Cutting is how you cope with this.

Cutting is a coping mechanism. We all have them, it's the only way we can survive, it's just that some aren't as good as others. Because of this, I'm not going to say that you should immediately try to quit, especially if it's not endangering your health. Only you will know when you're ready to quit. Before that happens you need to figure out a way to cope that you can rely on instead of cutting. You'll need to identify what all the things are that make you want to cut, and you'll have to learn how to deal with them in a way that isn't bad for you.

Cutting doesn't really seem to be the problem - it's the emotions that are causing it that I think you might want to address first. You might want to get professional help, in which case as others have said you won't have to tell anyone you don't want to tell. This way they can help you with all the things you're feeling, because no one should have to feel depressed. :hug: After that you might decide that you're ready to find new coping strategies, and you'll have the support to back you up. You might decide you're not just ready, and that's okay too. It took me years before I was ready to stop, and even then I didn't get professional help. I don't know what will work best for you, but you have a lot of options.

One of my new things, that I love, is a "self care box." You put in a ton of objects that make you happy, and when you need to you can open it up and look through it. I have tons of things in mine - my favorite book, cd, all sorts of relics that remind me of my favorite people and memories, pictures, quotes, recipes, things that make me proud of myself. I couldn't recommend anything more - whenever I feel sad, I look through it and I can't help but smile. By the time I'm done going through everything and reading everything, I'm usually feeling better.

I hope you're able to work things out. PLEASE send me a private message if you want to talk or vent about anything.

:hug: It sounds like you're having a really rough time right now.

I'm a cutter too. I haven't cut in six months, but I think it's kind of like alcoholism in that once you get into it you're never really an "ex." I still get the urge to cut almost every day.

It sounds to me like you're depressed, and that your self esteem isn't doing so great either. What I'm also hearing is that you're feeling hopeless and you don't feel like you have anyone who you can talk to about your problems. Cutting is how you cope with this.

Cutting is a coping mechanism. We all have them, it's the only way we can survive, it's just that some aren't as good as others. Because of this, I'm not going to say that you should immediately try to quit, especially if it's not endangering your health. Only you will know when you're ready to quit. Before that happens you need to figure out a way to cope that you can rely on instead of cutting. You'll need to identify what all the things are that make you want to cut, and you'll have to learn how to deal with them in a way that isn't bad for you.

Cutting doesn't really seem to be the problem - it's the emotions that are causing it that I think you might want to address first. You might want to get professional help, in which case as others have said you won't have to tell anyone you don't want to tell. This way they can help you with all the things you're feeling, because no one should have to feel depressed. :hug: After that you might decide that you're ready to find new coping strategies, and you'll have the support to back you up. You might decide you're not just ready, and that's okay too. It took me years before I was ready to stop, and even then I didn't get professional help. I don't know what will work best for you, but you have a lot of options.

One of my new things, that I love, is a "self care box." You put in a ton of objects that make you happy, and when you need to you can open it up and look through it. I have tons of things in mine - my favorite book, cd, all sorts of relics that remind me of my favorite people and memories, pictures, quotes, recipes, things that make me proud of myself. I couldn't recommend anything more - whenever I feel sad, I look through it and I can't help but smile. By the time I'm done going through everything and reading everything, I'm usually feeling better.

I hope you're able to work things out. PLEASE send me a private message if you want to talk or vent about anything.

I love your idea of a "self care box"- I think for some people it would do great...the only thing I don't recommend is putting things in there that are from the past, such as pictures, letters, and cards. Your past is a big part of who you are, but right now you need to focus on the present and future of getting well.
I disagree with her not qutting right away, no matter how many coping mechanisms she comes up with, I think she will continue to do the self harm. I still believe you should take it day by day, and if you make it a week, that is wonderful.

What Sokara said about cutting being like alcoholism is exactly right I think. You'll always have that to turn back to, if you want to, but why would you? Reading your post again, I think you might be suffering from depression (this is just my personal opinion)
Please read through this article: HERE (http://health.yahoo.com/ency/healthwise/hw30709/aa25647)

thanks for your replies, they've really helped.
i cut myself too deep today and it really frightened me - maybe thats what i needed to make me realise that it's wrong. i'm trying to stop on my own - i really don't want to see a doctor or any professionals.i'm going to try the 'self care box' - thank you for all your suggestions & support :)


Snowy*

I cut from 12 to 19 and never thought much of it. I didn't even think it was bad. I knew that depression was bad, but I figured everybody probably cut at some point or another.

When I was 19, I cut my arm so deep once that I couldn't get it to stop bleeding. Like you said, it was really scary. I never wanted to kill myself, the physical pain just made me feel better. My fiance was super pissed and said that if I ever cut myself again, he'd leave and never look back.

I don't know if this was the right approach, but it worked. I haven't cut since. I plan to get the scar on my arm from when I cut too deep covered by a tattoo. I still get depressed sometimes, but now I just try and view it as a stepping stone, not a dead end. For some reason, this just really helps me. When I start to get sad, I think about how sadness will eventually lead to cutting, which will lead to making my husband sad, possibly sad enough to leave, and I just don't want to go down that road. It's a slippery slope to happiness, but once you get there, it's a lot easier to stay there.

Read the books Girl Interrupted by Susana Kaysen and Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel. They are both real life, autobiography type books about depression, and witnessing someone else's battle and win helps immensely. Google "depression forum" and find other people to talk to. Don't tell your parents about the cutting, but tell them you're very depressed and you want to see a doctor. Being in the mental health field, I'm sure they will understand. They love you and they want to help you. There are thousands of therapies and medications that can help you tremendously.

I've been there, and there is a way out.

Cutting can be habit forming. It can become a compulsive behavior - meaning the more a person does it, the more he or she feels the need to do it. The brain starts to connect the false sense of relief from bad feelings to the act of cutting, and it craves this relief the next time tension builds. When cutting becomes a compulsive behavior, it can seem impossible to stop. So cutting can seem almost like an addiction. A behavior that starts as an attempt to feel more in control can end up controlling you.