Hello everyone, well anyone who may help that is. I have joined this site today out of desperation. My 15 year old daughter has been claiming to be vergetarian for the past year or so. I really want to help her, and ensure that she is eating properly, and healthily. I have no problem with her beliefs and choice of vetetarianism BUT her diet is causing great stress and problems in our home. She is really difficult to cater for, won't eat: salads (only some lettuce and maybe cucumber) baked potatoes, pulses, beans, grains etc etc etc. To date her diet comprises of: vegetable soup (I make) poached egg & toast, quorn product (which she is sick of) veggie burgers or fingers (eugh!!!from local supermarket), pasta - but only with a shop bought packet sauce, chips, boiled potatoes, rice with peas and onions, (no stir fry veggies or sprouts), roast vegetables (a little pepper,red onion and courgette), leek and potatoe soup, cheese on toast, pizza (with tomatoe cheese and pineapple only). Meals are a complete nightmare - she expects me to conjure up all sorts of delights but doesn't like what I make her. I eat very little meat myself - and I manage a really varied and healty diet. She is actually gaining weight despite her poor diet - I think because of the amount of bread etc she seems to be filling up on. If she were little it would almost be easier to help her, but she is so stubborn. I have tried to get her to tell me what she wants, get her to got shopping, bring home lots of veg and fruit and nuts etc to try to encourage her to experiment herself, but to no avail. Any and all suggestions greatly welcomed!!!

Are there any signs of a possible eating disorder? Let her know the consequences of not giving her body the nutrition it needs. When I first switched to the veg life, my diet was oatmeal and apples! I'm only 17, so just a bit older than your daughter. If she constantly turns away the food you cook for her, tell her she is on her own at meal time, and if she is hungry, she can figure it out for herself. That might seem a bit harsh, but she'll probably start experimenting with foods and learn some responsibility. Also, check out the recipie section on here together and write down the ones she says sound good.

To be honest, for a teenage diet it doesn't sound too appalling for me. At least she'll eat rice, pasta, roast veg etc. Many teens refuse fruit and veg altogether, so it could be worse!

Will she eat wholegrain foods? (bread, pasta, rice etc.). Eating multigrain bread etc. will help fill her up quicker and keep cravings away. Have you tried suggesting that she cooks some of her own meals, or helps you out in the kitchen?

You might want to suggest that she takes a veggie multi-vitamin if she doesn't already.

Yeah, I was expecting it to be much worse too. Sounds better than what I ate at that age.

Yeah, I was expecting it to be much worse too. Sounds better than what I ate at that age.

You were that age?!:surprised
:)

I don't think her vegetarianism is the problem; I think your daughter is just picky. :doh: I started cooking for myself at 12. She can certainly cook for herself if she doesn't like your food.

Also, I know you want your daughter to be healthy and have a good diet, but I think every teen goes through a period where all they want is tortilla chips and salsa as every meal. Once she starts getting restless and cranky she'll probably realize it's her diet and she'll make changes. Gotta let her be proactive!

When I was her age my diet consisted of microwave dinners, hot dogs, tomato soup and kraft dinner pretty much. It could be worse!

That being said, she definitely needs to take some responsibility for her choices. It's great that you're willing to help her, but she shouldn't expect you to do all the leg work. Have you considered ordering a vegetarian cookbook or two (or even borrowing them from your library), and going through them together to come up with meal ideas? I know that always helps me find another bunch of things to try, things that I might not have thought of otherwise.

Another suggestion: do a search here for some of the worst examples of unsupportive parents, print out the threads, and show her how good she has got it. Seriously, some of the teenagers here are in constant battle with their parents to be able to live out their ethics, sometimes to the point that the parents are abusive. She's very fortunate to have a supportive mother, from the sounds of it.

They're all good suggestions - you could also get hold of a book about vegetarian nutrition so she can see what she _should_ be eating - what others say, not just her mother! Teenagers can be very dismissive of their parents' opinions - I know I was!

I went vegetarian when i was 13-14 and much to my mother's dismay I was very much like your daughter. There were very few things I actually liked, and I made my mother crazy with frustration and worry.
She will come around. Just continue to make her aware of what good health choices are, and eventually she will get it. And when she gets older, if she remains a vegetarian, her maturity, and curiosity will most likely get the best of her, and she will try different foods.
In the meantime, I would say make a list with her of foods she will eat. Maybe when she sees how limited she is she will be a little more open. If not, then she eats what is on the list.
And I agree, having her prepare some of her own food would probobly do her some good. And after she gets over the shock, she might actually enjoy it.

Learning to cook is a skill that isn't being passed on to kids anymore. This is a perfect opportunity for her to learn! As a teen I was responsible for starting dinner for the whole family before my mom got home. She had recipe cards with detailed instructions for all of our meals and she just left one out each day. So if I could do that (and be a straight A student) she can cook one meal just for herself.) Cooking is a skill which will help her save money and eat health regardless of her diet for the rest of her life.

As far as pulses go, what about refried beans in burritos or hummus with pita? I also want to plug fitday.com It lets you log for free online what you eat and it shows you your nutrient intakes. You could use it for about a week or two to see where your trouble spots. Actually it would be fun if you, the mother logged your own diet and maybe you have some trouble spots as well. (we all do!)

Some easier cookbooks include any by PETA, the Vegetarian Times Cookbooks, ones by Molly Katzen, and there is a 5-ingrediant vegetarian cookbook with very simple stuff.

But sad to say, most teens eat waaay worse than your daughter. You must have high food standards for the whole family! Many families eat nothing but take-out and frozen dinners, both usually high in fat, salt, and low in fruits, veggies and whole grains.

Good luck! (You could even refer her to this site if she has questions on cooking or recipe ideas)

If you'd like some recipes from a former picky eater I can send you some of my favorites. Most of them are quite easy and cheap. And I'd be glad to write up a few of my favorite recipes (Does she like peanut soup? It's goood!)

Sorry if I sounded snarky in my last post. :p

I agree. She is old enough to buy her own food and prepare her own meals. Stop trying to please her. Buy a copy of some good veg recipe books as a present fro her and hint that she is going to have to feed herself now.

I agree with most of what's been posted here. She's doesn't sound as bad off as some of the vegetarian teens whose parents have posted here seeking help.

But I want to emphasaize that she has made this choice, and she needs to take responsibility for her choices, and that means educating herself on nutrition and stepping up to the plate and taking at least some responsibility for her feeding. Expecting you to cater to her choices and cook special meals for her, and then turning up her nose because it's not what she wanted, is just unacceptable. If I were her mother, I think I'd be giving her some tough love right about now, as in, "You can eat what I fix, fix something yourself, or go hungry!"

It might be worth investing in the book Becoming Vegetarian (http://www.buy.com/prod/The_New_Becoming_Vegetarian_The_Essential_Guide_to _a_Healthy/q/loc/106/33906139.html) by Vesanto Melina and a good vegetarian cookbook or two. She's the one who really needs to be reading these. I'd also tell her to find vegetarian recipes she wants to try and get in the kitchen and help fix them, or else it's back to eating what you cook. You shouldn't have to bend over backwards feeding the rest of your family and then fixing a different meal for her.

Here's a thread where another frustrated mother posted here-- her 12yo son was even pickier, and it's full of advice.
http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=45500

And these two threads show an example of the opposite situation. This young lady did everything right-- she offered to buy her own groceries, she offered to do her own cooking, and her parents tried to force her to continue eating meat.
http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=46663
http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=47217

I agree with those in the "she's old enough to learn to cook" camp.

Here are a couple of books: OK, So Now You're a Vegetarian (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076790527X/qid=1136914132/sr=8-2/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i2_xgl14/103-3575855-0185418?n=507846&s=books&v=glance)

The Teen's Vegetarian Cookbook (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0140385061/qid=1136914108/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/103-3575855-0185418?n=507846&s=books&v=glance)

Both are geared toward teenagers.

Also, one of the guidelines I live by (with only a couple exceptions) is that you don't really know whether you dislike a certain food unless you've tried it prepared in multiple ways. Maybe she hates salads, but has she tried different kinds of lettuce and putting lots of goodies on the salad? (like using romaine lettuce and adding chickpeas, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, olives, baked marinated tofu, and Annie's Goddess Dressing, for example). Sometimes we have to try things a few times, prepared in different ways, to learn how we like them. Some people hate asparagus steamed or with hollandaise sauce, but end up loving it grilled, or blanched then marinated in sesame oil & rice vinegar & sprinkled with sesame seeds. Same food, completely different prep.

Good luck! She has made a great decision but sounds like a picky eater. Maybe having some cookbooks to introduce her to new meals, plus you as a good influence (which you certainly are, by your post) will help her expand her food choices. :sunny:

Many many thanks for all replies, have decided to get tough and let her do her own thing if she doesn't like what is on offer. New veggie cookbook on way to her as I write. I had on occassion considered becoming vegatarian myself, no great ethics involved, just personal choice, as I already eat very little meat, fish etc. Any advice on how to approach such a change?

No "one" approach is a fit-all approach. Some go vegan overnight, some take years and many, many attempts until it finally sticks.

You might find the "new to vegetarianism (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=174)" and "vegetarian and vegan (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=5)" forums helpful. And the Food Discussion (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=24) one :)

Maybe this will be helpful to you.
http://www.vegcooking.com/

Many many thanks for all replies, have decided to get tough and let her do her own thing if she doesn't like what is on offer. New veggie cookbook on way to her as I write. I had on occassion considered becoming vegatarian myself, no great ethics involved, just personal choice, as I already eat very little meat, fish etc. Any advice on how to approach such a change?

Given that you sound like a great cook, you might enjoy splurging on some new cookbooks and emerging yourself in some fun new recipes as you transition away from meat/fish. But really, there's no right or wrong way to become vegetarian.

Many many thanks for all replies, have decided to get tough and let her do her own thing if she doesn't like what is on offer. New veggie cookbook on way to her as I write. I had on occassion considered becoming vegatarian myself, no great ethics involved, just personal choice, as I already eat very little meat, fish etc. Any advice on how to approach such a change?
You're welcome, we're happy to help! :up:

Since your feelings about being vegetarian are fairly casual, maybe a gradual approach is best for you. Try some new recipes (on daughter as well) and see how the two of you like them. Cultivating your own interest in vegetarian cuisine will be helpful for her as well-- maybe you'll discover some exciting new foods together!

Now would sound like a good time to do some mother-daughter bonding and start doing various kitchen projects together. If you are a working mother try to set aside a whole day, ahead of time, for shopping, cooking, eating, feeding others. The winter holidays are just past but perhaps you can find some excuse for a feast day, invent a new feast day, where you will have to work together to prepare food for a handful of people.

Email me for my favorite leek and potato soup recipe. It is good hot or cold. Yes, I can't find leeks in my neighborhood so I use onions. I got the recipe from Julia Child, then changed it around alot.

"Both are geared toward teenagers."

Err -- don't teenagers want to scrupulously avoid anything that says "this is made especially for teenagers by adults" and want to instead, want to search out things that say "stuff from one sophisticated adult to another" ????

Some titles for teenage girls that they will throw as far away as possible: "how to apply makeup so that you look younger and less sophisticated"
"how to attract boys your age and younger, so that you will feel young again."
"how to prevent boys a year or 2 older than you from noticing you"
"fun things you and your 11 year old brother can do on a rainy day"

The Teen's Vegetarian Cookbook is actually very good. I would agree with you on most things aimed at teens, but that cookbook is an exception.

As far as the OP's daughter: When I was fifteen I'm pretty sure I lived off quesadillas, potatoes, and cream of wheat. I grew up in a meat & potatoes household, so when I first went veg all I did was eat the same things I'd always had but without the meat. That really didn't leave much... Luckily I've always loved fresh fruits and vegetables. I doubt I would have made it through otherwise.

Eventually I taught myself to cook non-farm recipes and everything was fine. It took a year or so before I was eating really balanced meals. One of things that helped me most was finding recipes that had *always* been vegetarian -- a lot of asian foods, indian foods, etc -- since I wasn't big on meat analogues.

Good luck with your daughter. :) I'm sure she'll get the hand of it as she's given more responsibility with her food.

Smurf,

It sounds like your daughter might benefit from some protein dishes. If she's eating a lot of bread and pasta, she may crave protein and not even realize it. (Consuming excessive carbs to get the needed protein.)

Poached Eggs and cheese on toast are good sources of protein, but they are relatively high in fat and cholesterol. That's not something a 15 year old needs to be concerned about, but it may curb her appetite from eating some of the few proteins she is still eating.

If you're not totally at your wit's end, you might want to explore some veggie protein options. It would definitely benefit her to know sources of protein as a vegetarian.

(Don't worry these are easy...)


Humous and Toasted Pita Bread (which is low carb)
Canned Black Beans and Goya Adobo seasoning on any variety of rice
Egg-Whites for Eggwhite Omlettes. (with Olive Oil to cook in.) ...She can add what she likes. (Mushrooms and Chives, Sun Dried Tomatoes and Black Olives, or Peppers and Onions.) They're relatively easy to make with a non-stick pan, and might even turn into something she may eventually make for herself. (Eggwhites are good idea because they are high protein, low cholesterol, and she may find she can eat a lot of them without feeling bloated.)
Lowfat yogurt and fruit (grapes, sliced cantalope) with wheatgerm and honey on top.
Any kind of Rice Pilaf. Nuts and rice will give her lots of protein, and it's something different. Some supermarkets or healthier delis make them daily. You might pick up a 1/4 pound to see if she likes it.


IMO it doesn't sound like she has an eating disorder. She just sounds maybe like a picky eater. I would recommend being supportive of her decissions to eat what she wants, and go less the tough love route. ...The last thing that would be good is a Mother daughter clash over food. ...I would agree it sounds like she's being unreasonable (in a normal teenage way).

...Showing her this thread would be a bad idea IMO.

...Almost forgot. Chocolate and All Natural Peanut Butter. Milk to wash it down.