My boyfriend of 5 years thinks that lately I've turned into a "militant vegan" (i'm not really a vegan, strict vegetarian since I will sometimes eat honey but that's it. otherwise I never eat any animal products.) :notvegan: Maybe I have without even meaning to or realize it. I have been a vegetarian ever since I read an article about the horrors of factory farming. I didn't really realize what kind of hell these animals had to endure seeing as I was only 11 and didn't even really understand that the pigs on my uncles farms were the same ones that were the bacon on my breakfast plate. :spew: It seems that over the course of the last 15 years my vegetarianism hasn't just became a way of life but a core belief. I really do not believe it is necessary to kill animals to eat in the mass amounts that our society does. We're greedy disgusting creatures who have no compassion for others and it's not right in the slightest in my mind...

I was 20 when my boyfriend & I started going out. I really didn't think about whether or not my SO was omni or not at that time because I wasn't thinking long term back then. Fast forward five years and we're still together and I cannot seem to get past the fact that he hasn't *seen the light* of the wonders of vegetarianism through my shining example. ha ha :p I didn't preach or want him to be a veggie back then but now I do. I do NOT want to share the rest of my life with someone who believes that animals are just here to be dinner and nothing more. COMPASSION is very sexy to me. Someone gnawing on a bloody hunk of steak or chowing down chicken wings and having a pile of bones on their plate is not appealing in the slightest. There are also some other issues in our relationship that are bothering me. Such as him still not having his license after 2 years of him promising me that he would. It gets tiring being the chauffeur for this long. I am always the one who has to go over to his place, he never comes to visit me. I feel like it's a one sided relationship effort wise... I can't live without my cat, he's allergic. Are we just doomed? I don't know who else to ask. My friends wouldn't understand the veggie thing being an issue and that's really the one weighing most heavily on my mind.

I think all the other changes in my life (getting laid off from my job right at the same time I'm supposed to be getting medical leave for surgery I have been waiting on for months, new cat after my old bestest friend of 14 years passed away...) going on right now have made me start thinking about what is wrong and right in my relationship. Since everything else is changing in my life maybe this is the right time to just wipe the slate clean? I'm really confused and need advice! Anything!!! Thanks for any and all replies. Even if it's to tell me I'm a stupid selfish b*tch.

About being militant, everyone seems militant to someone else, so I wouldn't worry about it. Wanting to be with someone who shares values that are important to you (and yes I think actions show what kind of values you have) seems natural to me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting the most important person in your life to share some of your most important values. Most people wouldn't see anything wrong with not wanting to marry someone from a radically different religion, and I don't think this is significantly different.

But from a purely practical viewpoint, there aren't many vegan guys out there. If you do decide you want to hold out for a vegan guy, you could be holding out for a long time.

As far as the licence thing goes, maybe you could tell him that in x number of months you are going to behave as if he had one, ie. if he doesn't drive, you will only be driving half as much as you do now, and not giving rides to places you wouldn't be driving to anyway. Why should he have a licence and pay for insurance, etc. if he has a chauffeur? (my brother's the same way though, and I still give him rides!)

But no, you don't sound militant, not unless you are yelling at him all the time for what he eats and making nasty comments about meat around him.

Oh man, being the chauffeur stinks big time! It could work out if he were doing an equivalent favor for you or at least compensating you monetarily. I might insist he do my house cleaning if he claims he doesn't have the money. (I'll do almost anything to get out of cleaning bathrooms.)

I have two friends who live half an hour and 45 minutes from me, respectively. Neither has had her driver's license, and the people they live with are generally unwilling to drive them to my place. (They probably drive them many places already.) So, I don't see them very often because it's tiresome to be the only person driving--and I have to pick them up AND take them home. Plus, the three of us are a "group", so getting together with one usually means getting together with the other, so double the driving for me. *sigh* If I make a point to ask every single time, they will chip in a few bucks for gas. They don't just remember to do so on their own. Maybe it's because they've never owned a car and don't realize how expensive it is.

One of them did just get her license, but she has no vehicle and no plans to get one. I don't know how much good that does.

As far as your cat goes, it is possible for a cat and an allergic person to live in the same house. It does depend on how severe the allergy is, though. My dad is allergic to my sister's cat, and my sister keeps the cat only in the upstairs rooms my dad doesn't go in much. Downstairs, the upstairs bathroom, and my parents' bedroom are cat-less. His allergy is mainly one of discomfort; cats being near don't usually conflict with his necessary breathing.

I think what bothers me the most about his meat eating is that he is unwilling and uninterested in becoming even remotely vegetarian. Or even just veg @ home. He is one of those guys that thinks he will die if he doesn't eat meat and would rather be put out of his misery than be fed *gasp* TOFU.

Thalia: I broke up with him 2 years ago because I was fed up with being the only one who seemed to be putting any effort into the relationship. I was always driving to his place, spending time at his house. He just had to be there and wait for me to show up. Anyways, we got back together under the conditions that he would get his license within the next six months and he would come over to my neck of the woods even if it was just for dinner. That happened about 5 times over the course of the next five months and hasn't happened since. Grrr. He pretty much refuses to come to my house because he's allergic to cats. He seems to think he'll die if he's there for more than an hour. Nevermind the fact that he used to hang out with me before we started dating at a friends house who had a cat. We would spend entire weekends at her place and he seemed to be relatively okay, itchy and had to use his inhaler a few times, but other than that okay. So I'm pretty much just fed up again after waiting for two years and having no signs of any progress. I tell him that he doesn't even have to buy a car, because I know they are expensive, I just want him to have his license and then he can drive my car!! It's not like he has to pay for driver training or anything, he knows how to effin drive he just won't take the flipping test!!!!!! :whack:

Tesseract: I realize I might be single forever if I try to hold out for a veg guy. I might end up desperate enough to settle for an omni who is at least willing to not eat meat around me or is open to being veg eventually. But ideally I would want someone who already had the desire to be a veg*n.

More later. The beast is up and about and likes to read over my shoulder and I have to have lunch with his parents in a few hours. Not the time to get into a big relationship talk.

Tesseract: I realize I might be single forever if I try to hold out for a veg guy. I might end up desperate enough to settle for an omni who is at least willing to not eat meat around me or is open to being veg eventually. But ideally I would want someone who already had the desire to be a veg*n.
Yeah, I guess holding out for someone who's actually vegan is a lot different than holding out for someone who's at least open to the idea of eating less meat and maybe not eating meat at home.

If he hasn't made changes by now (and I mean more than the veganism) it's unlikely he will make them any time soon. It sounds like you'd be happier in the long run if you ended the relationship, and sometime down the road found someone more compatible with you. Change is scary, but sometimes it's necessary and very very good. :)

I agree with Meatless.
Corny as it sounds, it all comes down to R-E-S-P-E-C-T. There are plenty of people out there who may not be willing to become vegetarian, but will at least take your core values to heart and respect you enough to make an effort. It does not sound like he is willing to honour his committments (to learn to drive) or compromise (going to your place), and he does not seem open to change (his eating habits around you). However, to be fair, you seem to be letting him get away with it. What do you see in him that makes this worthwhile?
Couples therapy might be helpful, but failing that, I would break up with him, permanently; I'm sure you can do better! However, as long as you keep him around, you can't be open to meeting anyone better.
You alone will be the best judge of the timing; my advice would be to do it when you are feeling emotionally strong, so this might not be the best time. Wait until the other aspects of your life have settled down, and then sit down and have yourself a good hard think, or talk it over with a professional or someone you trust who is not directly involved (i.e. not a relative or really close friend; they may tell you what you want to hear).
Good luck, whatever your decision.

Sometimes we undergo fundamental life changes and our partners don't. It's a huge strain on the relationship. Those who experience the change expect their partners to change similarly, or at least make some efforts toward changing or growing (from your perspective).

Thing is, what if the partner doesn't want to change? It is unfair for you to ask him to keep up with your rate of change. This is, IMO, one of the hardest things to deal with in a relationship. You can choose to either accept that he is who he is, and give him the freedom to choose to change (or not change) -- or you can decide that it just isn't working for you, and move on.

What I don't see as an option is staying and hoping that he will change. Either he will or he won't, but it's not up to you to decide that for him.

Thank you all for your input. This is really helping me think through some stuff that I have just put on the backburner for so long. I like to try and jedi mindtrick myself into believing that if I ignore it and pretend like it's not a problem it really won't be! To me being a strict vegetarian is something I do because it's what I believe is right in my heart. It's a belief, it might even be a part of my spirituality. I have always had an immense love for animals, so eating them is just out of the question. I am very lucky that my mom and sister are vegetarians as well for ethical reasons. I know I am extremely fortunate that I have a family that is on the same wavelength. It rules. My mom can make anything that wasn't vegan, vegan and it tastes just as good if not better than the original version filled with animal products! She's amazing. My dad has never been much of a cook so after we went veg he never brought slabs of raw meat into the house. He might bring himself home a burger or get chinese take out with meat in it but that's about the extent of it. I also understand that my mom turned this way after they were already married for 11 years so he still had the right to do what he wants in his house but he just has no ambition to bring home any big bloody slabs of death and stick it in the fridge.

Right now my living environment is ideal, however I am 26 and still living with my parents. I'm fine with it. But other people seem to think this is strange. Everyone expects me to want to leave home and move in with my man because we have been together for so long and it's just expected that you are supposed to want to live with this person 24/7. The way things are right now there is no way in h*LL I could stay sane and live with him. Not the way he sucks back still red steaks and chicken wings like they are going outta style. I'm assaulted by the very thing I abhor on a regular basis and it disgusts me. It makes me unnattracted to him because all I see is another person adding to the suffering of feeling, living beings when there is no need to do so. Another reason I live at home is because I adore my mother, she is my best friend and any time I can spend with her is great. I'm also going into debt big time soon for all the plastic surgery I am getting after losing over 100lbs. and I don't have to pay rent. I'm a lucky lucky girl in many ways.

With all this other stuff progressing in my life I'm stuck looking back on our 5 year relationship pondering what has and hasn't happened. How I have changed in all those years, how he has, how we have affected one anothers lives. I realize that in the beginning it was fine because we weren't thinking long term. We were friends for 6 months before starting to date so it was just something that evolved into more. I have always been a crazy vegetarian I was just a crazy *young* vegetarian who wasn't thinking about what I could and couldn't handle living with and what was fundamentally important that I have in a relationship. So while I've changed (and haven't changed in some ways, this is the girl who burst into tears after accidentally eating some chicken in a restaurant mix up enchilada nightmare *before* we started going out and he witnessed the whole ordeal), he hasn't. He's still the same, and that is great but I'm not sure if it's right for me anymore. It's so hard because I feel like it's selfish of me to want what I want. I am always more worried about other peoples happiness before my own and he's always telling me how much he loves me but those are just words. He still is unwilling to make any changes, and if that's how it's going to be I guess that's that..

I just feel so guilty about hurting anyone and would rather just live in my own misery. Which is stupid and probably stems from low self esteem (growing up as the fat kid will do that to a girl) which leads to being a doormat and why I didn't dump his butt after his 6months was up and he still hadn't ponied up with the license like he promised he would. I also think who the hell will want me like this, under construction from a lifetime of obesity which has and will leave me permanently scarred. Either with loose saggy skin (like I have now) or in debt and a patchwork surgically enhanced former fatty barbie who doesn't want children unless they have whiskers and a tail? :worried:

I think his mom could sense something was off today because she has never made comments about me breaking up with him before. But I said something kind of snotty to him and his mom was like "oh no you aren't making her mad are you?? you better smarten up or you'll lose her! Don't screw it up we like her!" I was freaking out thinking she could read my mind or else my annoyance with him is just too much too hide anymore and other people can sense my unhappiness?

Wow, I do go on. I have just had so much of these thoughts buried for so long that they are gushing out now at rapid rates. Thanks for listening guys I am really bad at getting my thoughts into words so if this is a little hard to read I apologize. It's like therapy or something. :p

I don't think that living with your parents, with whom you share many values and obviously feel very close to, is in any way wrong, especially considering the alternative, i.e. living with someone who does not respect your values! Even if he is your boyfriend, so what! The fact that you can't see yourself living with him some day is a good indication that you have already made up your mind. You must also consider how you feel about not being in a relationship. Are you afraid? Remember, this would be totally normal for anyone, and especially for anyone with self-esteem issues. The devil we know always seems better than the devil we don't.
All you need now is the courage to follow your instincts and do what's right for both of you; if it makes you feel any better, consider that he may also be feeling uncomfortable in the relationship, but not realize it (typical guy). Hey, even his mother has tuned in to the unspoken tension (?) between you. Have a heart to heart talk, give yourselves space and time to think, and you may both find it is time to move on...
Take care

I'll be honest. My way of looking at it is: If I start dating someone they have to be respectful of my veganism. But it doesn't just end there. If they are with me they could only remain an omni by 1) being ignorant, which will be hard with me. I wont shove it down their throat, but they will ask me why I am a vegan and I will tell them or 2) being indifferent, which is much worse. I can't be with a person who either refuses to learn about the treatment of animals, or someone who knows but doesn't care. I mean how could I be attracted to such a person? Those are my values. She either has to take it or leave it. Sorry.

You are in no way being selfish. You have every right to find a true connection with someone on all levels. It may be very emotionally hard to say goodbye, because you do Love him and you've spent so much time together. However, you can love someone and not be in-love with them. You might want to tell him that. You love him, but you think both of you need the opportunity to find someone that shares each others hopes, dreams and values. Good luck honey.

I should have broken it off with my ex-omni boyfriend. I was so wrapped up emotionally in the fact that I loved him. I knew our relationship wasn't healthy, loving or wonderful. I just kept saying, things will get better once we have more money. We love each other and it will work out. He ended up breaking up with me Nov 04. It was a little devastating because all of my friends and family were asking me for months before that --"why don't you leave him?" I felt chained to him. I cried for about 2 months.

But now I am a new person. I own my own house. I became vegan Nov 05. I feel healthy, happy and open to new experiences. I haven't found my ideal veg*n man yet... but there are more than Tess knows. In fact, I have 2 intriguing inquiries at the moment that could turn into something.
psst... http://www.veggiedate.com and http://vegweb.com

We're always here for you no matter what you decide. I just think you will be able to do so much more for the world and animals if you are in a "loving" respectful relationship or simply free from an unhealthy one.

I haven't found my ideal veg*n man yet... but there are more than Tess knows. In fact, I have 2 intriguing inquiries at the moment that could turn into something.

Good for you. I have always had a problem when people say that there are no veg*n men/women around. If you don't believe that dating a veg*n is possible then you won't look for one.

I'm an ideal vegan man - we do exist.
Just tell ya boyfriend no more shaggin till he gives up meat & milk. Then dump him anyway as he's a useless twat that can't even drive.

:hug: for now. A difference in values and beliefs in a relationship is a really big difference, and one which you have to decide whether you can handle for the rest of your life or not. Should you decide you can handle that, your bf's likely to outgrow some of these things, but probably needs some way to be able to get a license. Can he drive -- does he know how? He might need practice. I am assuming he does not have a car and can't afford one. That's how it was for me in my mid-20's. Does he simply need a ride to the license office and a car to borrow for the test?

I guess, my answer is that a difference in beliefs -- strongly held ones -- is a pretty big issue in a relationship. The other issues center on the fact that guys in their mid-20's often haven't quite gotten it together yet and are still maturing.

The other part, which I don't want to fail to address, is that you've had a lot going in your life outside of the relationship! Is he a source of support? Do you have other sources of support as well? I am not saying you're not strong or that you're all "broken down and devastated", because you seem pretty level-headed, but most of us need good friends around... and it does help if our significant other is someone we can share our deepest emotions with. You know, intimacy?

:hug:

Sometimes we undergo fundamental life changes and our partners don't. It's a huge strain on the relationship. Those who experience the change expect their partners to change similarly, or at least make some efforts toward changing or growing (from your perspective).

Thing is, what if the partner doesn't want to change? It is unfair for you to ask him to keep up with your rate of change. This is, IMO, one of the hardest things to deal with in a relationship. You can choose to either accept that he is who he is, and give him the freedom to choose to change (or not change) -- or you can decide that it just isn't working for you, and move on.

What I don't see as an option is staying and hoping that he will change. Either he will or he won't, but it's not up to you to decide that for him.

Exactly and perfectly stated.

well, there sure are a lot of things going on, no?

i think it might be important to try and separate out what's going on and what you're feeling and what feelings are being confused. And then, move from a point of clarity.

have you considered alternative versions of omnivorism? my husband is an omnivore and very compassionate. he greatly loves animals, but he also believes that it is necessary for him to consume animals in order to be healthy and strong. I cannot argue against his perspective, as i believe that not everyone can be vegetarian, or that everyone should be vegetarian. I know that other vegetarians *believe* differently.

that being said, my husband only buys meat from certain farms in our area. he only buys fish from certain groups/regions. he's very connected to the animal and environmental issues related to vegetarianism, yet he is not a vegetarian.

perhaps this is something like your boyfriend, even though he may not know his options. When i was first veg, we didn't necessarily buy our foods from these places. I went to the HFS for vegan products. There, we discovered that there were alternatives to factory farmed meat, dairy, and eggs. We discovered how local farms (CSAs) worked and how we could support local economies, environmental needs, and animal (welfare) concerns by supporting these people and their farming techniques and traditions. Before discovering this, we didn't know that the option even existed, let alone what was truly possible for an omnivore to live out their compassion toward animals, environment, etc--by supporting these sorts of farms without going against their belief that they need meat to survive.

Nevermind the fact that he used to hang out with me before we started dating at a friends house who had a cat. We would spend entire weekends at her place and he seemed to be relatively okay, itchy and had to use his inhaler a few times, but other than that okay..

I sympathize and absolutely agree with you on all points (ESPECIALLY THE CAR!! Oh my GOD, set a deadline on that right now! That's crazy!) however..... I do have to play devil's advocate on the the cat thing - here's my perspective....

I too am "moderately" allergic to cats (according to my allergist)... sometimes they bother me, other times they don't. Sometimes the same CAT will bother me one time and not another. Believe me, it is ABSOLUTELY NO FUN to be wheezing, dependant on an inhaler and/or allergy meds that make you lightheaded and your mouth dry and your tongue feel about ten feet thick... and the itching thing is enough to drive me insane...

I love my cats to death. They ARE in certain parts of our house sometimes... but if they come in my bedroom, (which they LOVE) I spend the night snuffling, wheezing, itching and wishing I could scratch my eyeballs out... call me militant or extreme, but I have to have a couple rooms that are a "cat-free" zone in my house. (Plus, I just am not crazy about animals in my face while I sleep anyway, I love 'em other times, but not at night)

I never complain to friends who have cats because those are their "babies" and I'm usually over at their houses for only an hour or two at a time, I can usually stand it just fine for that long - but if they wanted me to visit all the time or spend the night, I would have to speak up...

I'm an ideal vegan man - we do exist.
Just tell ya boyfriend no more shaggin till he gives up meat & milk. Then dump him anyway as he's a useless twat that can't even drive.

Great advice.:stinkeye: :p

Wow. What a lot of insightful posts for me to ponder over. Thank you guys so much, it is helping me immensely to sort through all this and your input is awesome!

veggiefriend: I think I am scared of being single. I have so much self doubt as to whether or not anyone else would even want me! Plus he's been such a constant in my life for the past 5 years it's definitely weird to think of not being with him. You hit the nail on the head when you said he might be feeling uncomfortable in the relationship as well. I think we both know it's going nowhere fast but we're both so emotionally attached to each other that we're being pansies and staying in a relationship that isn't really working.

Vegmedic: Preach on. What you said pretty much sums up my feelings on the issue. It frusturates me to no end how he just wants to turn a blind eye to all the suffering and cruelty that happens to these beautiful creatures just so his flesh eating self can have some dinner. :(


Bjorn again veg: :lol: HA HA HA! That cracked me up. Thanks.

TrueVeggie: That's awesome that you got out of your relationship and are now doing great! Thanks for the links, you might see me on there soon trolling for yummy veg boys. :)

Froggythefrog: Yes he knows how to drive. He drove halfway to Vancouver for a NIN concert but he can't get his butt into a registry office and get his freaking license?? I have offered the use of my car to take the test and also suggested going out with his dad a few Sunday's in a row to practice up and then he'd be good to go. He just keeps putting it off and off and off. It was supposed to happen 2 years ago. Very frusturating! He is supportive of me doing whatever I want do, he's not one of those controlling bf's who gets mad if I want to spend some time alone or @ yoga. But we don't do a lot of talking about emotions or anything. He doesn't like to talk about that kind of stuff really and talking to a brick wall isn't fun on my end so I've kind of given up on any real intimacy emotionally.

zoebird: I have read lots of your posts (here and on a yoga forum I peek in on occassionally) and you are always so wise and insightful. I think I might be able to tolerate some omni-ism if he was doing it for his health like your hubby and was intrested in how he could get it from humane sources. But his only concern seems to be if it's cheap and tasty. There is no deep thought that goes into his food choices except whether or not it's yummy.

TNS: I really don't expect him to live with a cat full time as much as I would love for it to be feasible. It just seems like he's using my cat as an excuse to *never* come to my house. I think he's been to my place about 20 times over the past 5 years. Maybe 6 of those times have been for longer than an hour. So it just made me reflect back on all the hours upon hours we had spent at different friends places with animals and go hmmm???

I still haven't brought any of this up to him as I am still thinking through everything myself. But it's really weighing heavily on my mind. He is sweet in many ways. He would never cheat on me, he reads everything before he'll let me eat it to make sure it's vegan, tells me I'm beautiful even when I don't believe it, downloads all the stupid tv shows I watch, gets me a drink when I don't feel like getting off the couch and tells me he loves me at least once a day... I just don't think I can spend my life with someone who would rather remain ignorant about the way animals are treated in this society just so they won't have to give up something they like the taste of. I should make him watch Peacable Kingdom and see if it makes any difference in his meat eating ways.

Thanks again for your input guys. You are all fabulous!!! :smitten:

But his only concern seems to be if it's cheap and tasty. There is no deep thought that goes into his food choices except whether or not it's yummy.

I think if it's really important to you, then you should consider bringing it up to him personally, rather than using a tool like "peaceable kingdom." Early on, i would talk to my husband about my choices and why i'd made them, how they made me feel, and how i felt about his omnivorism.

we then sought out alternatives together. i've never watched or even read many of the vegetarian movies or books that many have mentioned, and i really don't think they're necessary. they can be helpful, but i think that clear communication is often the best method--particularly in an intimate relationship.

it's also ok to tell him that you're thinking about the long term situation of your relationship. While you do not doubt your love for him (or his of you), you do question whether or not your lifestyles (vegetarianism, cat, etc) are compatible such that you can stay together through the long term and forge a life together--a single household, perhaps with additional family members. A certain level of 'alikeness' in lifestyles is necessary, such that you two can both create the home lives that you want for yourselves and your family. If you are too different, it would make it very difficult to develop a cohesive home lifestyle.

At the very least, discussing it should bring about thought, which may bring about positive changes in the relationship, or it may also help you make a clear decision as to whether or not the relationship will work for you in the long term.

I still haven't brought any of this up to him as I am still thinking through everything myself. But it's really weighing heavily on my mind. He is sweet in many ways. He would never cheat on me, he reads everything before he'll let me eat it to make sure it's vegan, tells me I'm beautiful even when I don't believe it, downloads all the stupid tv shows I watch, gets me a drink when I don't feel like getting off the couch and tells me he loves me at least once a day... I just don't think I can spend my life with someone who would rather remain ignorant about the way animals are treated in this society just so they won't have to give up something they like the taste of. I should make him watch Peacable Kingdom and see if it makes any difference in his meat eating ways.

I'm with zoebird on this one. Howver, if you really want to show him PK, I'd present it in a "I don't expect you to become vegan, but i want to share with you why I went vegan." Does he already know why, and just not care? If that's the case, he probably won't go veg. If he has no idea what factory farming is like, it might be worth it. But I wouldn't expect PK to have the same effect on him as it did on you. Assuming that's the case, will you still want to be with him?

I totally identify with you on being afraid of being alone, and feeling like you're not going to do any better (I'm also one of those girls who grew up as the "fat girl" and whose friends were always getting all the attention - I'm the one the wingman talked to, sigh.) Sure does a blow to our self-worth, doesn't it?! But you're not going to be with a partner who loves, values, and respects you until you love, value, and respect yourself. Justify staying with him all you want. But realize that what you're saying is "I don't respect him. But he's nice to me so I'm staying anyway." You are dis-respecting yourself, your worth, and your happiness. You can find all those sweet things in someone else AND get respect and love at the same time. It's a fabulous thing. ;)

I have learned that relationships are founded on respect. If you don't respect your partner (and vice-versa), it's not going to last no matter what. If you don't respect him for eating meat, and never will, you are not doing either of you any favors by staying with him and not talking about it. This is going to eat at you until you do something about it.

Talk to him about your doubts. Open up communication with him. I *highly* suggest couples counseling or at least going to counseling yourself. Maybe you can come to a compromise -- maybe when you guys are eating together, he can eat vegetarian. But when he eats by himself, he eats meat.

good luck :bow:

Broke up with the boyfriend "officially" today. I feel horrible yet relieved at the same time. Like I stopped delaying the inevitable and finally got on with dealing with reality. It's been staring me in the face for the past 2 years. I finally stopped being a lil b*tch and did something for myself instead of trying to keep someone else happy. Thanks for all the advice guys, it helped me sort through things slowly and methodically and rationally. I feel I made the right choice. Maybe now I can try and make myself happy! :shy: