Ghoulie has been sick for quite a while. He is pretty old (2 and 2 months) and his condition is deteriorating rapidly over the past few weeks. I know he is suffering and I am pretty sure I know what the problem is this time. He has been displaying all the same symptoms of lung growths as Spooky had before he passed. We pretty much knew a few months ago that this was begining to happen and it is an inevitable and incurable ailment, so we've just been medicating him and trying to make him as comfortable as possible.

Although Ghoulie is not my first loss, it is so difficult to see him in this state because I've gone through it before with Spooky and I now understand what's going on inside him and what to expect. The thing is, although he is basically a living skeleton and can barely walk, he is still eating (a little) and drinking and trying to get up and run around despite his badly sprained and arthritic legs... just showing this unrelenting will to live. Seeing him get up and stumble around and tumble down the ramps in his cage is just pitiful. I've tried placing him in the bottom, where there is lots of clean, fluffy bedding so he can snuggle with his cagemates and there is no risk of falling, but he keeps climbing back up to the top level where his hammock is... it was always his favorite spot. He randomly gets up and stumbles to the bottom of the cage for no reason, and then pulls himself back up to the top, gasping for air (is he trying to wear himself out?) When I open the cage door, he makes a herculean effort to leap out onto my shoulder. I can't get him to lie still sometimes, I don't get it. He is so frail and delicate, there's barely anything there when I hold him, yet he insists.

It is tearing me apart. I do not want him to suffer through this any longer, but he does not seem ready to go yet. I guess what I'm getting at is: I would ultimately want to have him euthanized, but he still seems to think he is fine and I don't want to end his life prematurely... but then I don't want to see him suffer any longer. It's just this vicious cycle. I know the stress and heartache of this is making it hard for me to think rationally, but I just don't know what to do.

Sorry this was so long and depressing, I just had to get it out. Thanks for listening...

First, I'm very sorry you are going through this. I just lost a rat today (euthanized; she was in a bad way and no hope of recovery). I know how it hurts. :hug: With Molly it was not that hard to make the decision. It was a sudden onset, and she was clearly in pain.

But the way you feel sounds just like what we went through when our Kittyboy was dying. He had cancer, malignant, and we knew his remaining time with us was short. But he was hanging on. Though he was becoming gaunt, was hardly eating, and had an open wound that required irrigation every day, he still seemed to be enjoying life. He liked going outside to lie on the porch, still begged for pets, and up till the last couple of weeks, he slept at the foot of the bed, purring. We had to try to judge -- with his will to live, and enjoyment of life, balanced against the suffering we knew he felt. It was stressful and heart-wrenching, and we were grieving long before he actually passed on.

I can't tell you when it will be time for your friend to take his last sleep. But I think you will know. There will be a day when you'll just know it's time. And once he is at peace, I'm sure you'll be able to find peace too.

For now, would it be possible to move him to a one-level cage? I don't know how many other ratties you have -- certainly you don't want to isolate him from his companions -- but if you have an aquarium or one-level cage and can put him in it with one or two buddies, he might be at less risk for injury.

Again, you have my empathy. And it warms my heart to see such caring and concern for a little ratty. :hug:

OMG, I feel for you and Ghoulie! Is there anything the vet can do to help? Before our rat had to be put down, she had a shot (steroid I think?) at the vet's, and that really helped her breathing for a while. It sounds like you're doing all you can for your rat, and I'm sure your holding him is a comfort to Ghoulie. All you can do is keep him as comfortable as possible, and let the vet help him go when you feel the time is right. Try to hang in there... keep us posted, okay? :hug:

Katt - I'm very sorry you are going through this - it is so very hard. When I read through your post, a couple of comments stand out- "showing this unrelenting will to live" and "he does not seem ready to go yet". My guess is that Goulie will soon show signs that he is ready to give up on this life, and not continue his gallant struggle to hold on very much longer. As long as he can enjoy some aspects of his life now, and he's not in extreme distress, you may want to give it a bit more time. It's such a hard decision, but I'm sure he's had a wonderful life with you - he's lucky to have someone care enough to make the end as easy as possible.

Everyone - thank you so much for your inspiring, beautiful words. It gave me a little pick-up.

Borealis - I'm sorry...... Molly is at peace now and I know she had a wonderful life with you. Kittyboy, too. Acutally, I had considered putting Ghoulie and Fang (since his back legs are paralyzed and can't climb, either) into the big aquarium together but I can't decide whether or not I want to let him stay in his comfortable place, especially with his hammock to which he is very attached :) I'll see how he's doing tomorrow.

Karen - I was actually just on the phone with our vet for a good half hour just talking about this and that. She said basically the same thing as Borealis - he just doesn't sound ready to go yet. But if he makes it through the weekend and he is still worsening, she said to bring him in if we see fit, and she will put him to sleep. For now, we have an antibiotic and an oral steroid to give to him that will hopefully help him to be more comfortable.

Poppy - That is what I am hoping for. I really just want him to decide when it's time. I do not want to resort to helping him go, but I also cannot be selfish and keep him hanging on if it seems he is in too much pain. With Spooky, he never really just laid down to give up.. he died peacefully in his sleep while cuddling with his cagemates and I hope it will be the same for Ghoulie....

Again, thank you all so much. It really does help relieve some of the stress to be able to share this.

I'm going through the same thing right now and it's really hard. Sherman's back legs are giving out, she just had two tumors taken off and she already has one under her neck. She had a really horrible time with her last surgery and I'm not willing to do that to her. All of her cage mates have died and I'm not really in a position to get another rat, so she is alone and not terribly fond of people (she had been abused before I got her)

I feel for you and ghoulie, its so hard to know when to make that decision. I do wish Sherman would just go in her sleep but I know that the tumor is most likely benign and that she'll have to be put down before she dies of dehydration, etc. We're here for you and I hope ghoulie continues to enjoy his time before hes gone.

As a former rat-daddy, I feel for all of you.
I think Borealis' advice, and the belovedtree's are good.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and that I hope Ghoulie's remaining days are good ones.

Borealis, your post made me teary. Seriously!

i had a similar situation recently with my hamster, Pip.She was clearly unwell but was still trying to climb the bars on her cage etc. in the end, i couldn't bear it anymore so i took her to the vet for their opinion - the vet said she should be put to sleep to prevent unnecessary suffering...turns out she had a tumour that was pressing on her windpipe - so it was the best thing.
Pip never got a chance to suffer - i think you'll instictively know when yourlittle Ghoulie is ready to go.
my thoughts are with oyu both :)

Zoey X

I'm so sorry to hear about Ghoulie. It's very hard to go through that. I lost 2 of my hamsters earlier this year and I feel your pain. As beepingbird said, I think you'll know when Ghoulie is ready to go. My thoughts are with you.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I've lost many rats over the years, two to cancer. It's really very difficult. Roger was acting exactly as Ghoulie is now. I knew that the end was coming, and I was worried that I'd get the timing wrong if it came to euthanasia. In the end, it wasn't a difficult decision to make. One night he lost the very last of his sparkle, and couldn't even eat his meds any more. The next day we said goodbye.

One thing that really helped Roger for the last couple of weeks of his life was steroids and diuretics. He was on high doses of both, and these made an enormous difference to him. The diuretics kept his lungs and heart clear of fluid, and the steroids gave him a huge boost, increasing his appetite and making him feel much happier and more comfortable. He really was a changed rat, and it made those last couple of weeks much easier.