So, my wife has recently started eating fish again. She's been a vegetarian (lacto/ovo) for probably around 10 years (with a few vegan years in the middle), and prior to that was a pescatarian since about age 14. The reason is all very complex, but mainly it has to do with her food issues. She's always had them and has always struggled with her weight because of binge eating. After having two kids, growing older, and starting to experience health problems associated with both, she's begun seriously addressing her binge eating disorder. She's attempting non-dieting, which is a way of "controlling" the amount of what you eat by not thinking in black/white terms (e.g., cake is bad, broccoli is good). She eats whatever she wants, but only when she's actually hungry, and doesn't deny herself anything. The main struggle for her was the binge eating, which she would do when she was stressed or bored and not when she was hungry. As a result, she now weighs less than when she was in high school and feels great both mentally and physically.

Through it all, I believe I have given her the support she has needed, even when it was difficult for all of us. However, her whole food thinking is changing and she ate some fish the other day when out shopping, and has also expressed cravings for meat. Needless to say, I'm disappointed. My non-meat diet is important to me, as well as my kids. She hasn't said that she wants the kids to start eating flesh yet, but she did ask for my opinion regarding what she should do if the kids see her eating fish and ask for some. In answer, I just expressed that it was important to me that the girls be meat-free until they're old enough to decide (they're only 26 months and 10 months, now). But I can't help but be disappointed and worried about what may come.

So, anyone been through anything similar? Anyone have a spouse or sig. other that went back to meat after being a veggie?

She can eat flesh outside of the house if she needs it so bad. But no reason she should have to have it in your previously vegetarian household. It's great that she's doing better but unfortunate she decided to go back to eating animals.

Well, it *is* her house, too. So, technically, she can bring whatever she wants into it.

It's always disappointing when your spouse changes, but it is the way of life. It's ok to be disappointed with her choice, but still love her, support her, and be happy she is alive and well. It's like couples who used to go to church together, then one stops believing in that faith and stops church-going. It's difficult for the other spouse, as they changed their beliefs. Some boundries everyone can live with are helpful, as is mutual respect.

As for the kids, you have a while yet before you need to worry about that discussion. 2 years old? The most indepth your conversation will be is, "mommy choices to eat fish, daddy does not."

Thanks for both of your replies.

I would never forbid her to bring flesh into the house (like you said, FT, it's her house, too), but I can't help but think about (and dread) the what-ifs that may come along with it.

As for the kids, this is actually something that may occur sooner than later. Because of my wife's newfound awareness of food issues, she's become super-sensitive to the spectre of possibly passing food issues on to our daughters. As a result, she doesn't want to deny our kids anything that we eat. She always lets the oldest try something if she requests it. It's been fine because we usually eat very healthful food, but now with the possible fish problem, well, it's worrisome, to say the least. All I can do is keep conveying to her how important it is to have the kids meat-free. She can either respect that by realizing how important it is to me, or she can choose to think that her own food issues outweigh this.

However, just thinking of the smell of cooked fish permeating our home is enough to make me gag.

so disappointing when people decide that their wellness has to come quite selfishly at the expense of others - those animals are literally paying for it with their lives. I'm sure there's enough veg food out there that that not eating some mouthful of flesh doesn't have to mean deprivation. It would irritate me to see someone expressing how free and wonderful they feel - now that they're feeling free to hurt innocent animals. I think she's lost touch with what made her veg in the first place, or she didn't really have a clear idea of it. Sure she can eat what she wants, but I'd have a conversation with her and try to show her Meet Your Meat or other farm videos to remind her of why it's a worthwhile decision to stay veg.

However, just thinking of the smell of cooked fish permeating our home is enough to make me gag.

Sorry I don't have anything to add except sympathy - I used to live with a meat-eater for 18 years, and got very used to it, however - I really never thought much about it and didn't realize how much I appreciate my house now, with "meat-free air", until last night when I walked into a friend's house where they were stir-frying meat and the air was blue with smoke and smell... My eyes watered for hours afterwards and my stomach just rolled...

So, yeah, that wasn't helpful maybe - just saying I do know how you feel...

Well, it *is* her house, too. So, technically, she can bring whatever she wants into it.

It's always disappointing when your spouse changes, but it is the way of life. It's ok to be disappointed with her choice, but still love her, support her, and be happy she is alive and well. It's like couples who used to go to church together, then one stops believing in that faith and stops church-going. It's difficult for the other spouse, as they changed their beliefs. Some boundries everyone can live with are helpful, as is mutual respect.

As for the kids, you have a while yet before you need to worry about that discussion. 2 years old? The most indepth your conversation will be is, "mommy choices to eat fish, daddy does not."

:yes:

Just wanted to add my sympathy. My husband and I are both veg and I can scarcely imagine how sad it would be if suddenly he decided to start eating meat again. I don't think that will happen, but it looks like it could happen to anyone!! Good luck and let us know how things are going.