My name is Brandy (21). For years I've wanted to go vegetarian, I rarely ate meat but in November I finally cut it out completely. Getting rid of meat is not a problem for me. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and haven't eaten meat too often. Now that I have cut out the meat, he has all of a sudden become a hardcore "meat eater" and swears he can't live without it and says he must have meat each night, yet before we didn't have meat even once a week. Our "friends" aren't supportive and are always inviting my husband over for dinner because they "feel sorry for him". My parents don't like the thought of anyone going "meatless" but they said they were surprised it didn't happen sooner and they knew that this would eventually come. We also have a 19 month old son who does not at all like meat. He has always been a veggie/fruit baby, another thing my husband just doesn't understand.

My new years resolution is to slowly but surely go Vegan. My husband supports me in a way (he even bought me a Veg. cookbook for Christmas) yet in a way he doesn't, I guess it all depends on his mood. *lol* I've pulled out a lot of information for him and he still just doesn't get it. I don't want to force him to go veg., I'd just like him to be a little more open minded about my decision and I do wish that one day he'll join me. Anyone else with a meat "loving" spouse? I guess I'm just looking for some advice and looking for others who understand.

Welcome to VB! :hi: Don't worry, we will be your support group. :)

Welcome! I don't have a husband or kids (I'm 16 :) ), but I'm sure some people can give you advice. Someone always can.

Welcome! Let your husband do what he wants and you do what you want. He may feel a little self-conscious and/or guilty, that usually seems to be the case.

Welcome - I have a meat-loving spouse, and a whole meat-loving family! I know it can be hard at times. DH and I have basically come to the agreement that if he wants meat at home, he's just going to have to make it himself. Unfortunately for him, he really can't cook. I think he gets frustrated with me sometimes...oh well.

Thank you all for the warm welcome! :D

Thank you for the advice Michael, I hadn't thought about it like that.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with a meat eating hubby Poppy. I've noticed that there are quite a few of us that are in that sort of situation. Hubby can't cook either and always eats veg food becuase it's what I've cooked so he complains and then chows down, then complains a little later. lol

Hello, welcome to VB!

I too have a meat loving hubby.

It didn't seem to bother him about me not eating meat. We made an agreement. If I cook dinner, he can either eat what I make or make himself something or add meat to my dish. If he cooks, he agrees to leave the meat out of the dish.

We are different than most. We plan our dinners and then go shopping together (when he is home from work - he works away from home for 2 weeks at a time, then he has 2 weeks off). My kids, who along with me, were McDonald addicts, had a hard time at first. But now they enjoy meatless nuggets and chocolate soy milk. When we eat out (maybe 1-2 times a week) we choose a veggie friendly restaurant and then everyone gets what they want.

Hubby is supportive overall - even drives an hour to Whole Foods so we can get organic produce. But he does seem to have the urge to have steak and seems to think that if he isn't eating meat he will be hungry all the time. But he has eaten my vegan baked goods (no dairy or eggs) and loved them - especially the cookies. But he tends to joke with me when he is around his family - who tease me about something everytime we visit (homeschool, organic food, chem-free living, alternative medicine, vegetarian) I guess I give them lots of material :bow:

I've learned that whenever you change the "rules" in marriage - you both need to agree on the new "rules". See what he expects as far as food is concerned, see what you can agree on and go from there.

Welcome to VB!!

:D

welcome to VB!

my husband is an omnivore. when i first went veg, there were a lot of fears from him--the fear that i was going to pressure him to be veg, that i was going to get sick or unhealthy, or that i was making an irrational decision rather than a rational one, etc.

i think that the first thing that you need to do is reassure your husband that just because you're vegetarian doesn't mean that you expect him to be vegetarian or that you expect your son to be vegetarian. YOu may raise your son vegetarian--because thats' what he naturally eats--but it's not like you have this expectation (unless you do, then you have to talk about it).

I also want to point out that you're young. it's likely that you're friends are young. Young people often are quite reactionary at this age, still seeking the acceptance of family and friends. It takes courage to step out of the norm in different ways--and vegetarianism is a pretty different way. Also, vegetarians have a bad reputation of being pushy and dogmatic. so, this doesn't work for you.

But, understanding this will help you understand what your husband is going through which is a combination of being pushed away form his own choices (his interest or desire to eat meat, no matter how minimal), and also loosing some social standing if you or he goes veg. That can be hard on anyone--even if it doesn't really happen (it does to an extent, but those people weren't really yoru friends anyway!).

Ok, so, my husband is an omni. We eat organic and biodynamic foods--his meat is no exception. I'm lacto-ovo vegetarian. I was vegan for a time. It's no problem to have a 'mixed household.'

I cook by 'nutrition by addition' which means that i start with a good vegetarian base meal. To this, i can add eggs, cheese, or meat or all three if i felt like it. Vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores can all fill up at my house because there's always enough to eat of each. I keep things separate so that everyone is happy. Here's an example of this weekend's meal with friends:

Fun with Fondue

This requires at least 4 fondu pots. I now have 5--but i don't know if i'll use them all.

First, there's the cheese course. Now, i prefer to do a traditional cheese course which is bread, cheese, a few veggies and apple slices. this is, of course, vegetarian. If a vegan is present (i don't know any vegans personally), then i'll make a bean soup that can be used as a similar dip to the cheese dip. (1-2 fondu pots)

Next, there is a salad course. i make mixed greens salads and home-made vegan dressings. the salads tend to be vegan. there's no need for cheese and eggs after the cheese course.

Next, there's the veggie/meat course. I use two fondu pots here--one for veggies and one for meat. I prefer broth-based fondu with these things. Vegans and Vegetarians can enjoy the veggie broth fondu with mixed veggies. On rare occassions, i'll pop out a third fondu pot to poach eggs. Omnis enjoy meats and vegetables in their broth--which might be a beef broth or it might be a veggie broth. (2-3 fondu pots)

Finally, i make a dessert fondu of dark chocolate. we dip fruit in it. very tastey. (1 fondu pot)

So, this meal takes a lot of fondu pots--6 at the top end. Usually, i use five. Clean up is easy too, actually, and the whole deal is a ton of fun. :) it's great for a friend's gathering.

At home, my husband and i will just do the cheese fondu and a salad as a main meal.

But, here's the famous morrocan:

hummus and whole wheat pita
home-made dolmas (stuffed grape leaves--i stuff with herbs, rice, olives)
mixed green salad with red onion, tomato, cucmber, and olives--feta optional
carrot soup (vegan)
Tabouleh salad
lamb kabobs in mint-yogurt marinade

Most of this is vegan. For myself, i'll sometimes add chopped egg and feta cheese to my salad, but that's not really necessary considering all the nutrients all over the place in this meal.

Also, taking this process, it's easy to make meat for one. You buy less, you make a little. most of the cooking is in the veggies--and everyone is happy.

Here's the italian that i'm making for my FIL's birthday (they're all omnis)

wild mushrooms over home-made polenta (i like my polenta with cheese and herbs, rather than just plain, but whatever works)

fennel with tomatos and raisins (a sicilian recipe)

veggie lasagne (easily veganized with tofu)

sweet italian sausage with garlic spinach

Everybody is happy this way. :)