There's this guy that I have feelings for...the kind of feelings that I don't have control over. We were seeing each other a few months ago, and then for some reason we started not seeing each other as often. At the time I was in the middle of doing midterms and so I was pretty busy studying, but I think he mis-interpreted it as me not wanting to see him. Anyways, the long and the short of it is that whenever we go out together (as "friends") it feels like there are things that need to be said but we never talk about them. I have very strong feelings for him, but I feel like I can't act on them. I'm afraid that he won't feel the same way back, and then he would feel uncomfortable continuing to hang out as friends. I have a very hard time trying to figure out what he is really thinking and feeling. When we first started seeing each other a few months back he told me straight off that he wasn't wanting a relationship right then because he was still getting over a very serious relationship (he had been broken up from his ex for five months, but they had gone out and lived together for 2 years, and it was his first serious relationship). I know he is done with his ex completely now (he's moved back here, several hours away from where he used to live with his ex), but I don't know whether he wants a relationship now, and whether he wants one with me. Whenever we go out, I feel like he is waiting for me to say something or initiate something more between us, but I am anxious and so I am also waiting for him to initiate something. But what if I am wrong and he isn't initiating anything because he doesn't want to?? Mind you, he does still call me to hang out, but lately when we see each other it really is just hanging out, whereas a few months ago...we satisfied each other's needs, I guess you could say. Little things he does make me think that he must still have at least some interest, but why isn't he acting on it? Sometimes he flirts or acts suggestively, but in a joking way as if he's afraid I'll reject him. Maybe he's afraid to just like I am, or maybe I am just in denial and he really just wants to be friends. We never talk about "us". Is it time for me to just take the plunge and tell him how I feel? Or should I ask him what his true feelings are? How do I deal with this?? I would really really like to be more than friends with him, but if things don't work, I don't want him to be too uncomfortable to continue being friends.

Sorry to go on and on, but please give me any advice because I'm clueless as to what to do. I know I am probably analyzing this far too much, and I should just talk to him, but I don't want to make the wrong move! I wish guys and life in general wasn't so confusing!!

LOL…Bumblebee…coming from the male perspective I never found US confusing.

It sounds like you are getting mixed signals and perhaps both of you are just a little to anxious to initiate anything. The fact that he keeps calling and asking you to go out is a good sign as is the flirtation.

Taking the next step obviously involves taking a risk and you have identified quite a few of them. The question is do you think the pay off would be worth it.

If you don't feel comfortable initiating perhaps a few not so subtle hints would be in order.

Kiss him. Just go for it.

You're still hanging out a lot, so you know he still likes you as a person. You've fooled around in the past and from what I know about guys, if they think you're hot, that never changes. Sounds like you stopped hanging out cuz you got busy with school, and he got the wrong message. You know for sure that you want to date him, so go for it. What do you really have to lose?

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement!!

We actually went out again last night, and we kind of talked about things a little bit. He asked me why I never initiate anything, and I answered by asking him the same question back. I said that I just figured he was getting it elsewhere and so didn't need me anymore (*half-jokingly). He was like "no, but I thought the same thing about you for awhile." I told him no that wasn't the case. And then...well, things went very well.

Also, my best friend and I have been planning for months to go away for the weekend at new year's to go partying with my sister and her husband. My friend has since got a boyfriend, so he is coming up as well. Now it sounds like this guy is also going to come with us. I'm very happy he will be coming...I think this trip will really help us to figure things out more.

Anyways, I feel a little bit better about things since last night, and I think I am going to make the move this weekend. I think the risks are worth it, and if I never made the move and then found out he also wanted more, I don't know what I would do. So thanks again for the wise words, they are much appreciated and I am going to take the advise. After our talk last night, I know that we were both feeling like we were getting mixed messages. All of the guys I've been with before him were much more assertive, but he isn't. I'm just going to have to adjust to having to really open up and voice my feelings, so then he will do the same.

Well, wish me luck. I have issues with making myself vulnerable, and this is going to take every ounce of courage I have. I'm scared to have to expose my raw feelings, but I know it needs to be done. I really truly hope things work out.

Well, wish me luck. I have issues with making myself vulnerable, and this is going to take every ounce of courage I have. I'm scared to have to expose my raw feelings, but I know it needs to be done. I really truly hope things work out.

Take a deep breath, and smile.. relax and be calm. No need to be scared to expose your raw feelings.. if someone doesn't appreciate it when you expose your feelings to them, whatever those feelings may be, that person doesn't deserve someone like you. I know it's rather nerve-racking to expose yourself, but once you adopt an attitude like that, it'll be much easier.

Good luck :) I'm sure that everything will work out nicely.