Yesterday my bf visited (he lives 100 miles away). We talk on the phone every night, so I'm used to him being far away, & I know he loves me.
He spent all day here, it was wonderful, but I dreaded his departure.
When it came time for him to leave, I couldn't stop crying. I never cry normally. When he had to go, I kept crying until I fell asleep.
Earlier today I just felt desperate: I wanted to die.
I thought I was doing well, I am in lots of ways: great job, nice place, loving pets.
But I realized how isolated I am.
I have no friends & despite going to the Y, etc., I can't seem to make friends.
I am only good at making sex partners. (But I won't do that now).
I am not trying to whine & turn people off, I am only curious as to what others might do to make friends when mentally ill, or at least feel less lonely, or care less.
Right now it hurts so much.

Awwww.... :hug: I'm so sorry. I don't know what advice to offer you, but I do know the feeling. Just the thought of him leaving soon made me cry the entire summer away, the summer before my boyfriend left for school (I was still in HS). That was the worst and lonliest 2 years of my life. I know feelings of desperation like that feel like they will never get any better, but they do, they really do. It just takes time. I'm not entirely sure of your home/life situation, but maybe you guys can make plans to move in together?

I think you might look into some sort of support group with people who have similar disorders. It often helps a lot to keep the isolation at bay if you have others who know what you're going through.

Good luck, I do hope it gets better.

B

Thank you Katt & Bethanie. You are kind.
Katt, my bf is thinking of moving here, but he lives close to his unwell 90 year old Dad, so he's a bit stuck right now.
Bethanie: I am so socially inept I tend to bring negative reactions when I attend support groups. I elicit hostility with my neediness, usually from women, & men want to rescue me. It's a pattern I see all the time in my reactions from people, & I know it is based on something I am doing that I can't even * see* at the moment

I'm wondering if you might benefit from something like a social anxiety support group, where everyone is socially inept but trying to learn how to get along...

I don't have any close "real life" friends, my only friends are folks in a political/philosophical group I have lunch with a couple times a month, and some other people I see about once a year. So not really friends the way we want them. So I don't really have much advice....

i don't think i can really offer you any advice but i know how much it hurts to be away from the person you love (i'm away from my bf right now!) i understand you when you say you feel lonely without him - thats exactly how i feel, i only have one friend, and she's more interested in her current fella :-/
anyway, i hope you feel happy again soon :)

I am just starting on a similar path... I recently was diagnosed with bipolar. I used to live with my boyfriend but I felt uncomfortable there so I'm living with my parents. I'm shutting everyone out, and I know it. But I need them badly at the same time. I suggest journaling, well, that's what they suggested for me.

I recently moved away from my girlfriend to a strange new place so I know how you feel. It sucks and it can be frustrating. I guess just hang in there and do the best you can to meet people I know it is hard, I having a hard time making solid friends here as well.

I recently moved away from my girlfriend to a strange new place so I know how you feel. It sucks and it can be frustrating. I guess just hang in there and do the best you can to meet people I know it is hard, I having a hard time making solid friends here as well.

Well, I have been through what she feels. I had a long distant relationship with my x and it sucked and hurt.

But you got the monkey face, I am a friend to you. :p For real though.:D

Well, I have been through what she feels. I had a long distant relationship with my x and it sucked and hurt.

But you got the monkey face, I am a friend to you. :p For real though.:D

Aww you are nice :) you're my friend too.

Aww you are nice :) you're my friend too.

Have I ever told you how much I love Jesus with a short haircut?

:lol:

But my parents think it is a sin for a man to have long hair, but not Jesus!

They did not have the tools back then to cut off Jesus's hair, but Samsone had no trouble, lol and he had many long distant wifes. lol

REturning to the original topic, I'm going to my psychologist at 9:30 am tomorrow to discuss this. I don't want to disintegrate, which is what I've been feeling like could happen if bf ever left. I'm again seeing what a sham my independent facade is, how codependent & feeble & ill my personality/psyche is.
At least now I'm aware of it. I've stopped blaming everyone around me so much, I now am beginning so see there's truly something seriously wrong with me.

honestly, i don't know. first, i don't have mental illness, and second, i wouldn't know how to help.

a large part of my councelling time was spent learning social skills--appropriate boundaries, how to make friends, etc. i did go to 'group' sessions occassionally to help me learn how to communicate and express myself while still having good boundaries. perhaps that this is an option for you, working with someone who can truly answer this question and perhaps working in a group environment so that you feel less isolated.

i wish you all the best in this regard. as always, i wish you great happiness in all things.