Why can't you be nice?

:lol: priceless coming from you.

Since I cant see the post (blocked) I'll tell you some of my problems! WOOHOO!

1. My leaf blower is broken
2. I still havent drained my pool
3. My daughter is a wise $$$
4. I STILL dont know who's coming over for Christmas
5. I spend too much time online
6. Oil costs too much

Why can't *you* be nice?

Hmmm, I think I'm pretty nice. But then again, that's a pretty biased view, but I am keeping it! :up:

Why can't *you* be nice?

I'm only not nice to mean people..then I'm mean until they are nice. Isnt that nice?

Ok, I think my response was kind of lame.

Why can't I be nice? Because I have a short temper and am over-sensitive to criticism, and sometimes lash out defensively, though I'm getting much better.

Generally if someone points out my not nice behavior I'll reconsider it and apologize, though not always.

I tried really hard to be nice, thank you very much.

:lol: priceless coming from you.


see, this kind of crap is what I'm talking about.

see, this kind of crap is what I'm talking about.

Honest to goodness, mp...if you feel this bad maybe you should take a break from the board. I am some stranger on the internet whom you will never, ever meet. My words shouldn't get to you to the point of being able to hurt your feelings. *or start random attention whore threads such as this.

Since I cant see the post (blocked) I'll tell you some of my problems! WOOHOO!

1. My leaf blower is broken
2. I still havent drained my pool
3. My daughter is a wise $$$
4. I STILL dont know who's coming over for Christmas
5. I spend too much time online
6. Oil costs too much

I wouldn't mind having a car, a pool, and friends to invite to my house, so I find it hard to sympathize.

Honest to goodness, mp...if you feel this bad maybe you should take a break from the board. I am some stranger on the internet whom you will never, ever meet. My words shouldn't get to you to the point of being able to hurt your feelings. *or start random attention whore threads such as this.


:nana:

see, this kind of crap is what I'm talking about.

I think you're pretty nice, in spite of what everyone else says.

If you find someone irritating, then stay away from them. (I don't take my own advice.)

Afterall, you can't control other people, you can only control yourself (and most of us have a hard time doing that). So just stay away from those that annoy you. I wish that I could help you, but no one is going to start acting up to your standards all of a sudden. People are a set of patterns, and changing the inertia of patterns is really hard to change. I wouldn't expect it. Focus on yourself instead, and you'll find that others start behaving up to your standards much more quickly. :)

I think you're pretty nice, in spite of what everyone else says.

If you find someone irritating, then stay away from them. (I don't take my own advice.)

Afterall, you can't control other people, you can only control yourself (and most of us have a hard time doing that). So just stay away from those that annoy you. I wish that I could help you, but no one is going to start acting up to your standards all of a sudden. People are a set of patterns, and changing the inertia of patterns is really hard to change. I wouldn't expect it. Focus on yourself instead, and you'll find that others start behaving up to your standards much more quickly. :)

Thanks. I don't have a problem with everybody really, just these people who just wake up one day and decide to act rudely towards me.

Is there any way to make this thread helpful or useful to us? Can we somehow actually have a conversation?

MP, who has been not nice to you, and how does it make you feel? How would you rather be treated?

Is there any way to make this thread helpful or useful to us? Can we somehow actually have a conversation?

MP, who has been not nice to you, and how does it make you feel? How would you rather be treated?

Many many many people have been unkind to me. It makes me feel pretty rotten, actually. I would prefer to be treated with respect and politeness.

Thanks. I don't have a problem with everybody really, just these people who just wake up one day and decide to act rudely towards me.

Unfortunately, thats not going to change. People just wake up rude. Instead of looking at it as "wow, that persons a jerk"... you have to see that when people are rude, they are usually just acting out because of something difficult in their lives. It may not be really difficult (oh no, The Store ran out of the spinning rims for my third Escalade SUV?!), but it is in their lives, in their perspective.

Lashing out at them doesn't help you or them. If someone has a bad day (or reacts to bad days by being rude), then that's not a reflection on you. The only reflection on you is how you take their bad day. You can choose to reproduce it and lash back, of you can ignore it and let yourself have a good day.

Either way, you'll never be in control of other people's reactions, you can only be in control of yours.

Many many many people have been unkind to me. It makes me feel pretty rotten, actually. I would prefer to be treated with respect and politeness.


And when do you show the same? I don't think I remember a post from you that was actually nice, and not bitching, or jealous, or just plain nasty. You expect people to just forget all of that and act like you are all sunshine and puppies? You're delusional.

Many many many people have been unkind to me. It makes me feel pretty rotten, actually. I would prefer to be treated with respect and politeness.


Yes, I can understand that. I think everyone does.

Thank you for changing your sig, I really appreciate that.

Sometimes people are unkind because they don't understand what the other person is saying, or sometimes they seem unkind but don't intend to be. It often helps to ask the other person to clarify or restate what they've said. I'm slowly learning how to do this, instead of just getting upset and screaming at someone.

And when do you show the same? I don't think I remember a post from you that was actually nice, and not bitching, or jealous, or just plain nasty. You expect people to just forget all of that and act like you are all sunshine and puppies? You're delusional.


:lol:

"Hi pot? This is the kettle. YOU'RE BLACK" - mysteriouspoet

I am a nice person, so are the majority of people on this board, and if you gave them a chance instead of just lashing out at everyone and everything all the time, maybe you could see beyond yourself for a minute or two and recognize that there are a lot of really nice people around here.

Respect is earned, not learned. Typically, people have a base respect that they show all humans and then adjust up or down from there. For example, I meet Jane Doe on the street. I have a neutral respect for her. I open the door for her, I say hello. I don't spit on her, I don't slap her. Neutral respect.

Option A:
Jane Doe tells me that I should die in a fire.

My respect level for her goes down 2 points.

Option B:
Jane Doe offers to pay my bus fare.

My respect level for her goes up 2 points.

See how it works?

Now, if we are going to be very honest, you have two major social problems:

1. Jealousy
2. Lashing out

1 - Jealousy isn't easy to cure. That only comes when you are happy with yourself and your own life. People who like themselves and their lives do not envy other people's fortunes. They do not compare themselves to others and judge their failure or success against others. Healthy and happy people compare themselves to only themselves. They do not care what others have.

2 - Lashing out is simply a habit or, if it's really bad, an addiction. That one is easier to fix them number 1. The easiest way to avoid it is to stop doing it. However, you may find that you cannot control the urge at the beginning. So, instead of just giving in totally and risking the perpetual cycle of insults and bad feelings, write up your lash out in a word document, save it with a great title like "Krista is an inbreed moron" and then don't look at again for a week. If, at the end of the week, you are still really that mad at the person, then revise the document. Wait a day. Read it again. Run it by a friend. Wait for their response. Then, and only then, give yourself permission to post it. You will discover that most times, you will not even make it past the first week before you forget why on earth you were that mad at the person. It requires work and a committment, but it will stop you from making an ass out of yourself (which we all do and some of us have learned to do on a less regular basis then when we were younger).

Yikes :eek:

I haven't been a member very long. I try to be nice to everyone :angel:
I am not sure why mysteriouspoet thinks people are "rude" to her.
But I am sure you can resolve this without causing tense and hurt feelings.

Paula

Respect is earned, not learned. Typically, people have a base respect that they show all humans and then adjust up or down from there.

You are a very smart girl!:yes:

Paula

You are a very smart girl!:yes:



Paula

Shhh it will go to her head!