Hey all..

I'm hoping that I might be able to get some advice here. I've been all over the net.... the library... the bookstore... My twelve year old son has decided to become a vegatarian (the kind that still eats eggs and milk products - ovo/lacto?) recently. While the rest of us in the family aren't ready to make the change, we want to support him however we can in his decision. I'm not stupid enough to think that he's going to starve to death or that his diet can't be nutritionally complete without eating animal products, but I've got a kid that doesn't like vegetables, beans, most fruits, or any kind of bread besides white. He thinks that he can survive on sugary cereal and tofu "chicken" nuggets. He's narrowed his food choices down so much that it's getting impossible to sneak the stuff in that I used to (spinach in spaghetti sauce, etc.). Any ideas that anybody might have on what I should do would be really helpful. Thanks. :help:

First, congratulations on being a thoughtful mom. There are a lot of folks here who would gladly give their left arms to have even a single supportive family member. :bobo:

Hmm, a twelve-year-old who wants to be vegetarian but doesn't like vegetables, fruits, legumes, or whole grains. That IS a tough one. I don't have a lot of experience feeding fussy kids-- I don't have my own, and when I WAS a fussy kid I still liked most vegetables. But there are lots of parents here who will probably have some good advice.

It's great that you've been reading and checking out resources, but what about him? I know there are some books out there geared toward teens on vegetarianism, and it's important that HE start learning about the choices he's making and how to be successful at it. Because right now, it sounds like he could be setting himself up for failure, if he's not prepared to actually EAT any of the other foods Mother Nature gave us. Maybe if you can get him reading, and he starts to understand the nutritional risks of a diet of white bread and fake nuggets better, he'll work harder at learning to like healthy foods.

As for beans, how about nachos or tacos with refried beans? This would be a good meal for the whole family. You could make the meat for the rest of the group as well as refried beans and let him have his tacos with just beans and the other fixings.

Hmm. I'll think about it some more. Meanwhile, I'm sure advice will be flooding in from the rest of the group.

PS: Does he like nuts? Because nuts are a great source of protein as well as being highly nutritious.

Unfortunately, many people live on a ovo/lacto vegetarian diet, and are extremely unhealthy. When I was on this type of diet, I loathed anything that was considered "healthy" and turned my attention to dairy products. If your son is really serious about being vegetarian, he's obviously got to learn to make better health choices- choices that he can hopefully enjoy. If he is absolutely opposed to eating anything unprocessed, your going to have to explain to him that the way he is eating will be shown in his overall health, especially since he is at the age of twelve. Is your son doing this for animal rights reasons or is he just doing this as a challenge? If he is serious about being a vegetarian, stubborn about his eating habits, and won't listen to you, I would take him to a nutrionist and have them explain it to him. Otherwise, I would suggest that you yourself try to eat more healthy vegetarian type foods and play around with recipes. I know for me it was really hard to accept that being a vegetarian would mean actually eating vegetables, but now I love them more than anything! Hopefully his love for healthy foods will increase over time as they are gradually introduced to his diet. I'm sorry I can't be any more help to you!

Well, that sounds like a nightmare... Hmm... I take it he knows nothing about nutrition? Try getting him to read some things about it, and get him started on a vegetarian multivitamin in the meantime. It won't help it for long, but it'll keep him from flopping over.

;)

And try preparing things different ways... If he likes sugary foods, try making something like a sweet potato casserole with wild rice, peas, and corn to mask whatever he doesn't like. Or things with strong condiments... Meat substitute, baby spinach, tomatoes, and lots of yellow mustard wrapped in a whole wheat pita. (Ditch the white bread any way you can... if you have time, maybe try baking a whole wheat and white flour mixed bread to wean him off it.)

More comments will come, I'm sure, and good luck!

If you haven't already, you might try switching him over to a higher fiber white bread like Whitewheat. Getting away from white bread and towards more whole wheat or multi-grain breads would be a good move for the whole family. And I'd try to gradually switch him to a less sugary cereal.

As for getting him to eat vegetables, how about dicing or shredding them really fine on pizzas or in sloppy joes or chili? You can easily make sloppy joes with vegetarian "meat" crumbles, and Hormel makes a canned vegetarian chili that some folks here like. (It wouldn't hurt the rest of the family to have it without meat every once in a while, right?) At my grocery store, there also used to be a veggie pepperoni made by Yves that was indistinguishable from the real thing. I can't find it anymore, though. :no:

Gosh, this is a really tough situation for you to be in. We regularly lecture teens around here on how they have to take responsibility for their food choices, and we tell them loud and clear that they canNOT expect their parents to do all the work of being vegetarian for them. And yet that's exactly the dilemma he's putting you in. I'm so pleased that you're willing to help him with this, though. :smitten:

BTW, how long has he been a junk food vegetarian? Eating crud for a certain amount of time probably won't do permanent damage, but he really does need to get on the stick and start learning how to eat right. Tell you what, send him to us. We'll tell him what's what. There's even a forum here just for teens. Our veggie teens will tell him what's what! ;)

I'm rummaging around my cookbooks for recipe ideas, but I don't know if specific recipes are what you're after... and of course I have no idea what he's likely to eat, aside from "not much." Lemme know if you'd like to hear 'em.

Thought of something else...

Smoothies.

:)

You can throw some frozen berries, some fresh spinach, some cauliflower, or whatever you like into the blender, add some milk or milk substitute, and some fruit juice, then blend it all up into something yummy and nutritious. The juice and milk generally cover up the taste of the veggies, and because they're raw, their nutritional content remains intact.

:chef:

A few thoughts on this..
Have you tried both raw and cooked veggies?
Not meant as an insult -- but are you cooking veggies correctly? Boiled veggies can be blehhchhhhhh! Fresh lightly steamed or stir fried or roasted veggies are yum!
Have you tried a bunch of different sauces for his veggies? San-J makes some super yummy stir fry sauces. I'm addicted to their Sweet & Tangy.
Maybe not the healthiest choice for daily eating, but has he ever tried vegetable tempura at a japanese restaurant? Its breaded and fried and you dip it in a soy sauce based sauce.
If he's eating eggs and cheese, have you tried a vegetable quiche? Spinach and Feta or Broccoli and Cheddar are together.
Will he help you cook? Sometimes taking a part in meal prep makes it more appealing to eat!

You are a good, open mom!

I think there are lots of good stuff for kids. Peanut butter on celery? Why don't you tell us what your family usually eats and what he likes to eat and I bet we could come up with some ideas.

Did you know you can make colored potatoes by mashing in some carrots or broccoli with them? :)

Thanks so much, so far for all your kindness and good ideas. Quite frankly, I was a little worried that I was going to get slammed for what I wasn't doing vs. helped out for what I was trying to do. Let me see...more information...from my totally distressed, sleep starved brain.

My son and I had a huge blow out over this last night. He's doing this because he doesn't want to hurt animals. We had an awesome dog die the spring before last under fairly tragic circumstances. I think this is part of his mourning process, but I don't know for sure. I'm just trying to help however I can. (Our arguement was over the difference between an anchovy in BBQ sauce - which he wouldn't eat and another of our dogs, Max, that he doesn't get along with and is sort of mean to.... I realize that is a huge mess of a sentence, but I'm hoping somebody out there understands my frustration. I mean maybe a lot of people don't think there is a difference, but I value being kind to our furry pets more than being kind to anchovies...at minimum equally, so I guess I was calling my 12 y.o. a hypocrit.... which is sooooo out of line for a Mom to do... and now I feel like complete #$&#&$!!!) (Tears)

So...back to the food stuff...

We use Iron Kids bread...it's the ONLY thing with any nutritional value I can get anybody in my house besides myself to eat.

He'll eat peanut butter, but no whole nuts. Not natural peanut butter... the creamy sugary kind.

I've gotten him off the kids sugary cereals onto Special K with berries in it...sooo I've switched him from kid sugary cereal to grown up sugary cereal. It costs more and doesn't have games, cartoon characters, or prizes in the box, so I guess it's a step in the right direction. Nutrionally... dunno?

I couldn't eat boiled or canned vegetables if my life depended on it. The veggies I do manage to sneak into my family are fresh or frozen....steamed or microwaved... sometimes sauteed...depending on what they are.

My husband's food groups consist of similar ones to my son's with the addition of any sort of meat you can imagine and more candy. Shockingly, his cholesterol levels are good and he isn't overweight! If I ate like he did you'd need a piano crate to bury me...

My youngest son doesn't sit still long enough to eat much of anything, but will pretty much try whatever is put in front of him when he does. Thank goodness for small favors.

Smoothies are a good idea. He eats french toast like mad. I'm fairly sure he's getting enough protein....although I am worried he's getting way too much soy. I have thyroid cancer and my research on that has scared me about soy consumption. I'm worried about fiber more than anything - I think.

I realize my message here is a little disjointed. I'm sure I sound like a complete moron.... please forgive... no sleep...big worries... no coffee....

Thanks again for any help and advice you have to offer... :)

I don't have a lot of advice on the food front as my daughter isn't a picky eater and she loves almost all veggies ...

How about directing him to some books about vegetarianism (there are a couple written for teens) so that he can read for himself how important proper nutrition is?

My daughter has this book (she is amost 10) and gives it a "two thumbs up" rating ... I'm a Vegetarian: Amazing facts and ideas for healthy vegetarians (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0887765882/qid=1131369718/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-7398071-3056047?v=glance&s=books&n=507846)

You can also try:

Vegetables Rock! : A Complete Guide for Teenage Vegetarians (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0553379240/ref=pd_sim_b_4/002-7398071-3056047?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance)

And some cookbooks - make him feel more involved in his choice and health ...

The Teen's Vegetarian Cookbook (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0140385061/ref=pd_bxgy_text_1/002-7398071-3056047?v=glance&s=books&st=*)

The Jumbo Vegetarian Cookbook (Kids Can Press Jumbo Books) (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0140385061/ref=pd_bxgy_text_1/002-7398071-3056047?v=glance&s=books&st=*)


ETA - Make sure that during this time your son is taking a multivitamin appropriate to his age. Sounds like he's going to need it.

Other tidbits of info I thought of...

In addition to being a wife and mother, I have a job, I'm trying to finish my degree, I live in a house with 3 dogs, 2 cats, a russian tortoise, a bearded dragon, a salt water aquarium, and a beta. I'm also being treated for thyroid cancer.

So, not that I don't wish that I could, but my life doesn't leave a lot of time to spare for stuff like baking bread. Sometimes I wish the #$%#% microwave could cook stuff faster. The kids usually eat cereal for breakfast. I keep a lot of fruit around for them to have on the bus, but they usually forget to grab it and I usually forget to remind them so the fruit usually ends up getting consumed by the turtle or the lizard. They either pack their own lunches (rare) or buy lunch at school (yuck). My husband usually eats lunch out or grabs a t.v. dinner (hungryman meatloaf with mashed potatoes - double yuck). I usually skip breakfast alltogether and grab some sort of power bar or meal in a can for lunch. Skinny? I wish. Thyroid's too fried for that.

Dinner...assuming we aren't at the ball park for a baseball game or at karate or both. Karate is 5 nights a week all year. Baseball is about 4 nights a week for 3 months in fall and 3 months in spring.... If we have some sort of sporting thing, we usually grab something out. ANYTHING. Sonic. Burger King. McDonalds. Taco Bell. Hot Dogs at the ball park. Pizza. Whatever we can get our malnourished grubby little hands on. If we're actually home, I scrounge together whatever can be scrounged together with whatever might be around from the last time I managed to get to the store. Sometimes that means I make eggs and toast for dinner. Sometimes that means cereal. Sometimes we throw meat on the grill and frozen veggies in the microwave. Sometimes pasta and salad. Sometimes the cupboards are bare and we head out to a sitdown restaurant....

Anyhow...that's a little more information.

My son had a single serving package of mandarin oranges this morning...for some reason he didn't want cereal. He ran out of time to make lunch because he couldn't find the pants he wanted to wear, so now he has no lunch. He won't eat the school lunches anymore. I offered to make him something, but he refused my help. He thought I'd try to "sneak something in." He won't have a chance to eat again until he gets off the bus this afternoon around 4:30.

Good grief. In the amount of time I've spent whining to ya'll on here, I probably could have baked a loaf of bread.

I'm off to the bookstore website to order some of the books ya'll have recommended. They didn't have anything but cookbooks at the store. Later... Thanks again...

nrh -

At the risk of sounding "preachy" ... you might want to look at cutting back on some of your family's outside-the-home activities and give yourself some time to focus on nutrition. If you're eating like that most of the time none of your family is getting optimal or even good nutrition.

It is good to be active - but it shouldn't be at the cost of your health.

If you haven't seen it yet - I strongly suggest watching "Supersize Me". I guarantee it will make you think twice about eating that much fast food.

Carole...

I've got two kids and they each are allowed to participate in one extra-curricular activity. Only one. The problem is that they don't want to participate in the same one. The older one (the vegetarian) does karate which is really expensive and frequent but is pretty much a drop him off and leave and pick him later sort of thing. It goes on all year long. The younger one plays little league baseball. Fall and Spring seasons....about 10 - 12 weeks each. The fields are too far away to drop him off. While part of me would LOVE to pull them out of this stuff so we could have more free time as a family, the other part of me doesn't really think it would be fair. They love what they do and they are both pretty good at it. I'd hate to take it away from them.

There has to be another way.... I'm dropping my classes, but that's not going to buy that much time.

this may sound off-the-wall, but as a former eating disorder sufferer, your son's pickiness resembles eating disordered tendencies. Not letting you make something because he's afraid you'll "sneak something in"?.. is he afraid you'll sneak in meat?.. it sounds like you lead a very busy life!!! I hope that your treatment for thyroid cancer is successful, btw.. you may want to take him to the doctor, or sit down with him and find out why he's being so darn picky about his food...

vegetables rock! is a great book - i am 19 and in uni and i've had my copy since i went veggie at 14 (i'm vegan now). It's filled with nutritional information, recipes, ideas for the picky vegetarian.....

OH! and FreshTart has a LOT of experience getting EXTREMELY picky eaters to try new foods. she's been quite successful with two kids under the age of 10. You may want to Private Message her for advice... :)

I believe Skippy makes a no-stir natural peanut butter. My kids dont know the differance.

As far as all those activities and fast food goes..you have choices. There is no one to blame for eating those things except for yourselves. It's not like to HAVE to do it all. Take care of your self!

My kids are allowed ONE post school activity. School and family come first.

Finally, I have a russian tortoise and bearded dragons too! Hurray!

Libellula...I have absolutely no idea how to private message someone. I'm not just new to my son's eating habits! Do you think you could get her to pop in here?

Kat... Like I said, my kids are only allowed one after school activity too. If their grades were to drop below a's and b's, they wouldn't get to go.

Good grief... I just realized our animals eat way better than we do. WAY BETTER! I drive 30 minutes each way to pick up specialty dog food because they don't sell it at the pet store. I cut up vegetables and fruits for the reptiles....not to mention special ordering creepy crawlies for the bearded dragon online and driving all over town looking for cactus for the tortoise. The cats get two different prescription foods from the vet... one for urinary tract infections and one for kidney infections. Meanwhile, my family eats crap. Great. And I'm calling my son a hypocrit. AND THE WORLD'S WORST MOM AWARD GOES TO>>>>>>>> DRUM ROLL>>>>>>>> Sigh..... :(

I can't believe I just figured this one out now.

How old is your beardie? Once they are adults, they dont need to eat crickets that much. Heres a time saver for feeding them...buy frozen store brand veggies and thaw them as you need them then throw them in a mini food processer. Sprinkle with vitamins/calcium at feeding time. I'm guessing you know what veggies to give them right?

Also, in the spring, pick those dandelion heads! They LOVE them and they are really good for them.

PS: You sound like a great Mom to me! Adopt me? :shy:

Kat...

Thanks for the vote of confidence. If only feeding people (especially my son) was as easy as feeding the animals. We don't get crickets very often, but do still order superworms pretty regularly. Our dragon is going on two and is HUGE. She lives in a 55 gallon aquarium in my younger son's room. My hubby is too neurotic about the yard for me to find dandelion heads there, but they do have them at the market. She loves prickly pear fruit...apples..bananas..carrots... Dark leafy greens. We use all the supplements.... Like I said, the animals eat way better than we do. I've got to figure out a way to fix that. Pretty soon, I have to have a total thyroidectomy. After that, I have to go on a completely iodine free diet for about a month before they stick me in the hospital for a week to shoot me up with radioactive iodine to blast anything that's left of the thyroid cancer. If I can't figure out what to feed my son, how the heck am I going to stay away from iodine for a month? It's in everything???

Hi! I used to thinnk I didn't like vegetables too, but I just had to have the prepared right. And I would suggest getting different an new veggies for your kids to try, for example I never had eggplant or spinach growing up, two of my fav veggies now.

nrh: When you say you make eggs and toast, how do you make the eggs? Do you ever make omelets? They're a good source of protein, and you can add stuff like feta cheese and diced mushroom and bell pepper. Add a little salsa topping to make the omelets more festive. :think:

This may be obvious, but until you get the nutritional stuff sorted out with your son, make sure he's taking a multi! (In fact, from what you've said, it would probably be a good idea for all your family members to take a multi!)

If your son eats French Toast, it would be a good opportunity to start sneaking in wheat bread. Whole wheat Challah bread, for example, is really soft, makes for great french toast, and its whole wheat!

Also, they make spinach and broccoli nuggets you can buy at most grocery stores that maybe your son would try in lieu of fake chicken nuggets?

It might be of value to sit down with your son and set up a contract with him about food. Make him list, specifically, the things he will not eat and that you agree that you will not try to coerce him into or sneak into his food. HOWEVER, add in as a clause in the contract that he must eat however many meals a day, and he must begin eating vegetables and other healthy foods.

You'll find that VBers often tell teens who go veg*n and are complaining that their parents won't buy/feed them what they want, that if you're making what is a mature adult decision about your life, you are expected to stand up to your new responsibility and take a part in taking care of yourself. I'd mention the same sort of thing to your son. It is fine for him to make this choice, but in addition, he also needs to make the choice to eat an appropriate variety of foods. You can tell him that the rest of the family is going to try to eat healthier as well. If you don't have time to cook on the week days, try cooking ahead (with your son) during the week. Soups and stews are usually better reheated (just add grains/pasta to the soup before you serve it if you're adding it or it'll suck up the broth).

It sounds like you are trying to work with your son, but he also needs to do his part and work with you and start trying new things.

[and, in reference to the anchovies, I can't think of any vegetarian who wouldn't be repulsed by anchovies in their food! its not unreasonable to refuse it.]

ETA: You may want to go read FreshTart's thread about retraining her picky stepson in the Raising Veg Kids forum (as well as other great threads there!)

We do all take multis... thank goodness... Otherwise, I'm fairly certain we would have died of malnutrition long ago!

Hubby and both kids are weird about anything mixed into their eggs... so I can't do omlettes or quiches... Sigh.

The different bread with french toast idea is awesome. I think that might work! Thanks.

I haven't seen the nuggets with broccoli mixed in... Do you know what brand they are? The grocery stores here are fairly sparse in selection. Even the giant HEB Central Market. That or I'm just looking for the wrong stuff.

I'll buy him whatever. I'll cook whatever extra stuff I can and I don't mind spending extra money on stuff he can throw in the microwave. I just want him to be healthy. And happy. And polite. I realize that's a lot to expect from a 12 going on 13 year old boy but there has got to be some give and take here. The contract is a great idea, as is a visit to a nutritionist.

I never expected him to eat anchovies and was actually the person that pointed them out on the ingredient label before he ate them. I could have kept my mouth shut and saved myself a hassle because he didn't know what they were. We got in an arguement because I think that if he's going to be a vegetarian because he cares about animals then he should care about ALL animals... including our annoying Jack Russell Terrier! I thought that him being mean to the dog but protective of the anchovies was a little hippocritical...especially for a 12 year old that's been a vegetarian for all of a week or so.

nrh, you're being too hard on yourself! You are SOOOO not the world's worst mom! :hug: The fact that you're here, trying to help him, proves that abundantly. You obviously have a lot on your plate.

I know you say you've been all over the web, but here's a school lunch resource you may not have seen which might have some helpful lunch ideas. I'm pretty sure these ideas are all vegan (no dairy/eggs), but obviously you can improvise to what he's willing to eat.
http://www.vegcooking.com/backtoschool.asp

Some popular portable breakfasts around here are Pop-tarts without frosting, Clif bars, Luna bars, Nutri-Grain bars, or granola bars. (Yes, a lot of these are still pretty sugary, but the power-bar-type things tend to pack more nutrition along with the sugar.) I think getting him to Special K is certainly a big step in the right direction. Also, in the natural foods section, there are usually at least one or two cereals geared toward kids that have more whole grains and less refined sugar. I don't recall them being significantly more expensive than regular cereal.

Since he likes peanut butter, check out this thread:
http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=43727
PB can be eaten 101 ways, and he's bound to like a few of the things mentioned here, even if they have something healthy under the PB. Apple wedges dipped in PB is a particularly nummy one, IMO. You might try to switch the family over to a reduced sugar PB as a first step.

Will he eat baked potatoes? If so, you can put a lot of different toppings on them other than the 'usual.' You could try topping them with creamed corn mixed with 1/2 cup cheddar cheese, cheese-broccoli soup, or a can of vegetarian chili.

If you can get him to eat a can of veggie chili, that's a good start because you can put so many things under the chili... a baked potato, cornbread, fritos, rice, a veggie dog on a bun... and if he'll eat veggie chili, he's well on the way to realizing he actually doesn't mind beans so much.

Will he munch on any raw veggies like carrots or celery? If so, you could try putting those little pre-packaged carrots etc. with ranch dip as part of his lunch or an after-school snack. Even kids who don't 'like' veggies often love them slathered in ranch dressing. It's a start. (Of course, the cheaper way to do it is just get a bag of baby carrots, a bottle of ranch dressing, and some small Tupperware-type containers -- those pre-packaged deals are pretty pricey.)

Smoothies and juices are a great way to get more fruit into him if he won't eat it whole, but be careful not to overdo it with the juices, since they pack all the sugar and none of the fiber of whole fruit. Also, a lot of kids don't like apples because they've been fed Red Delicious all their lives, which really don't taste that good. If you usually buy RD or Granny Smith, you might try picking up a couple of Braeburns, Galas, or Fujis and seeing how they go over. So much yummier for a kid's palate! Also, fruit roll-up/leather type things can be helpful. At my grocery I get Stretch Island fruit leather, which has no added sugar and tastes great. Easy to throw in a lunch, and kids love them.

For snacks, try Triscuits (or other crackers-- a lot of them are putting out whole-grain varieties these days) with cheese, PB... hmm, I can think of lots of things to put on crackers, but very few your son is likely to eat.

Anyway, hope these ideas help, and getting him one or more of the excellent teen books that have been recommended is a great start.

It is awesome that you are supporting his choice and more parents could take a page from your book. I’ve been a vegetarian since the late eighties (I started in collage) , and it was not until about 5 years ago my dad stopped thinking that this was a phase, and rebellion.

I just want to echo was a few others have said. This is his choice and make sure he takes some responsibility for it. It is not your job to make sure he eats well. Help him encourage him but make sure he knows that you want him to do it right for his sake.

You might see if he wants to visit the boards too. It seems that there are a fair amount of teens here, and there is a teen forum. This might help him learn how to do it right.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. It sounds like you do most of the cooking, when you cook have some vegetables, or vegetarian foods. See if you can get everyone to eat them. If you focus on the whole family (hubby included) and make sure they try it before saying they won’t eat it you can make a start. The more your son is exposed to the more he will find he likes.

To jump on the chili band wagon, lentil chili is a great way to expose your son to legumes. You can make a batch in about an hour, and can throw in things like carrots, and corn.

Also try not to be so hard on yourself. It is great that you are so supportive, and pointing out that if he cares about animals he needs to care about his animals is not a bad thing.

It is not your job to make sure he eats well.

Well, I wouldn't say that's exactly true. To some extent, it's all parents' job to make sure their kids eat right, but I suspect the point you were trying to make is that it's asking a bit much to expect a meat-eating parent to suddenly take full responsibility for providing vegetarian meals to a picky child.

PS: What about soups? Tomato, broccoli-cheese, potato... I'm sick with a cold right now and eating some Amy's No-Chicken Noodle that's surprisingly like the Campbell's with the chicken. I also buy Imagine organic pureed soups in 16-oz aseptic cartons (and I think Campbell's is now making similar pureed vegetable soups). Kids will often accept vegetable soups better if they're smooth and creamy like these.