:)

In the beginning people always have weird reactions. Some will take it as a personal attack on their ethics and some just don't want to think about why one would go veg. I think it is great that you want to go veg. I say stick to it! Once people finally get used to the idea of you being veg they might relax about it. You need to show them that it isn't so weird and that you are 100% serious.

It might help you to read some literature about the health/animal compassion/environmental theory behind veg*nism. I think that will help you not get out of that on and off cycle, it did for me anyway.

good luck! let us know how it goes.

I'm not sure I can tell you much, because I've had virtually nothing but positive (and merely curious) reactions from people, including my family, and I have a very supportive SO. All I can really say is:

Be Zen.
Know you're doing the right thing.
Educate, educate, educate. (About how delicious, healthy, and satisfying veg food can be as well as the less pleasant parts.)
Try to be a positive vegetarian who leads by example.
Arm yourself with witty responses.
And when all else fails, come see us! :bow:

Let me also add that I don't really think the positive reactions I get are entirely due to luck... I think I at least partly help make them happen because I approach it with a positive mindset.

I think things will probably settle down with time... but you have to sit tight through the rocky patch in the beginning before you can get there!

I don't know why people have such huge differences in hostility/acceptance between someone who eats almost no meat and entirely no meat.

Congratulations! I think you are gonna make an excellent vegetarian! :)

The advice given already is great - When I first became veg*n I did it pretty quietly. I didn't really talk about it with anyone besides a friend who was also veg*n. (you have all of us here for that)

Just have a quiet resolve about it - don't make a big deal about it. At least not a first until you are really comfortable with it...

I wish you all the best - you *know* you are doing the best thing for the animals, the earth and yourself - take peace in that!

Congratulations! I think you are gonna make an excellent vegetarian! :)

The advice given already is great - When I first became veg*n I did it pretty quietly. I didn't really talk about it with anyone besides a friend who was also veg*n. (you have all of us here for that)

Just have a quiet resolve about it - don't make a big deal about it. At least not a first until you are really comfortable with it...

I wish you all the best - you *know* you are doing the best thing for the animals, the earth and yourself - take peace in that!

I did the same thing, well I quietly stopped eating meat except once or twice around other people, and then eventually someone (my now boyfirend) made a comment I don't eat much meat. My reply was "I try not to" and he just took it to mean I was a vegetarian, and started to call me as such. So after that I began to feel more confotable with WHO I AM and started to tell people when it happened to come up.

Hi Thatoneguy,
I think part of the transition is you accepting and other people accepting that you're taking on a new identity. I have been a vegetarian for thirteen years and started eating vegan two months ago. Just this past weekend I was at a restaurant and said out loud for the first time "I'm vegan." It was the strangest feeling, and I pictured it feeling the same way as a newly married person feels when saying "I'm married" or "this is my husband/wife" for the first time. It's strange, being an adult and being set in my ways, to make a change in my life that changes the fundamentals of who I am.

I think it's natural when any person makes such a change for the people around him or her to be resistant. It may be hard for those people around you to know that you have such strong convictions. Just be strong, and believe in what you're doing. If you believe, others will too.

Congratulations! I'm a fairly new veg*n as well. I think most people inherently resist change, so once the new-ness of your decision wears off they will become more accepting. Also, PETA, for me was the biggest support mechanism in my life since day 1 of my decision to go veg*n. If you stay in touch with your cause and why you decided to do it in the first place, I think it is so much easier to stay committed in the future and also persuade others to your way of thinking...muahahahahaha. If you like to cook there are so many great websites out there...vegweb.com, cooking.com, goveg.com

Erased April 10, 2006.

I know how you feel. I'm already veggie but feel in a similar situation about going vegan. I don't miss eating dairy or eggs but feel awkward when I eat our with people or at other people's houses as they just don't 'get' it and make me feel like I'm just trying to be a pain.

The fact that you've been easing into it is good as you're now armed with all the facts and now what you can still eat and what tastes good etc.

Well done on making the switch to complete veggie!

Good for you! Stick to your decision! In the end you are only accountable for you! I just told people like my Mother to please respect my decision not to eat meat as I respect her decision to eat meat. I find it funny that meat eaters get upset when you tell them you do not.....like they feel guilty. :think:

They will get use to it after awhile. Stay positive!

Paula

Thatoneguy, as you can see here, you're not the only one :) We are not your family, but you'll get 100% support from us.
And here's a little story to cheer you up :)
Many years age my mum was absolutely terrified of me being vegetarian, she thought I would die etc. .... I've been vegan for few years now, I'm alive and my mum still loves me, and is almost vegetarian herself :)
See, it will be fine for you too.
GOOD LUck!

If someone only likes you when you are eating meat then that person is not worth being around. JMHO.

Obviously, there is a wide spectrum of reactions that families and friends will have when someone goes veg*n. My wife and I have been vegan for two years and our families still haven't accepted it. And we are coming up on the worse time of the "vegan year"...that is, Thanks-cruelty day and Christmas. Last year was miserable and this year will probably be more of the same.

It seems that you will be in a similar situation. Just ignore the irritating comments and be steadfast in your commitment. DON'T ARGUE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS ABOUT THE MERIT OF BEING VEG*N!!! If they ask you legitimate questions, give them answers...but arguing with them will only create additional tensions. The simple presence of a veg*n at the dinner table is a form of non-verbal argument that your family will need to accept or ignore.

I don't want to offend anyone, but here's a irritating/funny story from last Christmas. My mother in law announced to the family at the dinner table that we had gone vegan and my wife's uncle says: "what is that!? Some kind of homosexual?!" And then came the flood of stupid questions and hurtful jokes. Oh well, at least I have a few vegan friends and I recently discovered this board...

You are in good company. Try to make some veg*n friends and feel free to come here and vent when you need to.

Jonypooh's post reminded of another bit of simple advice that I got from Carol Adams, author of The Sexual Politics of Meat and Living Among Meat Eaters:

Never argue about meat/vegetarianism over a meal. Change the subject, or if necessary, just say, "I don't think now's the time for this conversation."

As dumb as it sounds I found filling up before hand and just not eating much when you eat at their house helps... if you don't expect them to make you a substitute they might be happier- "no I don't mind eating just this carrot" (!!!!)
Over the years my family has been more and more interested and asked me why and made substitutes etc. It gets better when everyone gets used to it and realises you're serious.

I don't want to offend anyone, but here's a irritating/funny story from last Christmas. My mother in law announced to the family at the dinner table that we had gone vegan and my wife's uncle says: "what is that!? Some kind of homosexual?!" And then came the flood of stupid questions and hurtful jokes.

Oh that's so bad it made me laugh! Christmas was fun when I became vegetarian- I had nothing to eat and my grandfather gave me sh!t. But now my aunty cooks me a 'special' dish (which I encourage everyone to eat!) and I dont' seem to get 'noticed' and joked about anymore.

Just ignore the irritating comments and be steadfast in your commitment. DON'T ARGUE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS ABOUT THE MERIT OF BEING VEG*N!!! If they ask you legitimate questions, give them answers...but arguing with them will only create additional tensions. The simple presence of a veg*n at the dinner table is a form of non-verbal argument that your family will need to accept or ignore.

I agree! It's pointless to argue. If someone you know, family or not, really wants to know about vegetarianism, they will ask legetimate questions and you'll be able to answer them in a non-confrontational way, but arguing doesn't help anything, it just causes tension. When someone says something to me along the lines of "but we're meant to eat meat!" or "but you have to milk cows!" I usually qualify my response i.e. "well it's my belief that... we don't need to eat meat" or "it's my understanding that... cows don't need to be milked unless..."

I usually bring tofurkey with me and make it at my aunts house with my dad. Okay so my dad does most of the making. He's not vegetarian, but he doesn't eat red meat or chicken. My cousin and his wife will try some, and sometimes even make me something that I can eat. I think the advantage here is that it doesn't look like I only eat carrots!

Apparently when my dad told my aunt on the phone that I had gone vegan, she said "this is your and carol's fault!" (carol being my mom who passed away eight years before i went vegan) because they raised me to not eat red meat. my aunt still gives me non-vegan chocolate for cmas, but as long as she doesn't argue with me I'm happy!

I always tell people that my lifestyle choices are not up for debate, but if they have any respectful questions about vegetarianism i'd be happy to answer them. :P

I'm also quick to point out that there is nothing anyone can say or do that will make me change my mind, so please just don't try.

It amazes me.............the same people who say..........."where will you get your protein" and "aren't you missing a bunch of vitamins" are some of the same folks who eat donuts for breakfast, burgers for lunch and KFC for dinner and they're worried about were you're vitamins will come from. In the mean time, they've taking in more fat and protein with no phyto nutrients and they're worried about you eating one too many tomatoes. It just kills me.......:) The problem is real.......the meat, dairy and government have convinced them that they need animal products to be healthy. I mean, why would any intelligent person believe the government was looking out for them. They're just helping the meat & dairy lobbies make lots of money at the exspense of our health and the lives of the animals and the planet!.

The advice so far has been good. I have a few observations. First, if you've tried the veg*n thing before and made a big deal out of it and a month later you were seen eating hamburgers, you shouldn't be suprised people aren't taking this transition seriously or showing a decent level of tollerance. The best solution, I believe, is to transition quietly. In my experience people take the veg*n issue better if they see the actions before they hear the words. You may want to avoid eating out for a few weeks till you're settled before you try "girlfriend's mom thing". Then if they try to push some meat on you say, "No thanks, I'm trying to reduce the meat in my diet" or something similar instead of, "No thank you, I'm a veg*n now!!! Yay for me!!!". You could also try asking your girlfriend to talk to her mother about it so dinner is pasta instead of tasty fried chicken!!! and baked potatos for the annoying veg*n..

My second observation is if your girlfriend's mother is willing to make an issue out of something as little as refusing to eat meat she really isn't that nice of a person and it shouldn't be a total shocker she's hard to get along with. Further, your girlfriend should take notice (hell, I'm the first one to admit my mom's a b*tch) and do what she can to smooth the situation over instead of adding fuel to the fire. Frankly, if the relationship can't survive veg*nism it won't survive religion, a mortgage, taxes, politics, kids, bills, etc. and IMO, it would be better to end it now.

This is going to be the first year I don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving or Christmas, I'm going to get the Tofurky vegetarian thanksgiving meal.


The turkeys thank you. :)

Congratulations, and welcome aboard, Thatoneguy! Ditto to your Dad.

If what they're eating isn't enough (nothing meatless but a mostly-lettuce salad or a potato), it might help if you bring something along so they don't have to make anything extra just for you.

As for attitude... maybe there are two approaches. One being what many have suggested here: just be non-confrontational to them; don't give them the argument they're expecting.

Or, if you weren't planning to go fully vegan at this time, here's a more diabolical, devious approach: give them the idea that you're giving up eggs and milk, too, to really rattle them! Then appear to re-consider, and say, "well, maybe I'll just swear off meat and fish." I don't know if I'd do that, but sometimes it's fun to toy with such ideas...

Yes, it humors me when all the sudden people who eat unhealthy suddenly become health experts when I tell them I'm vegetarian.

AMEN

Is the Tofurkey "turkey" really any good? Whats the texture like?

I declared myself officially vegetarian in August 1997, but I backslid a number of times after that and ate omni food. At some point, I stopped backsliding. I can't remember exactly when that was. However, I still tell people that I've been vegetarian since August 1997, because that was when I made the "official" decision to be vegetarian. I'd say if your INTENT on April 1, 2005 was to be officially vegetarian for the rest of your life, then it's OK to make that your vegetarian start date. A lot of people backslide after making the transition. But if they go back to being veg*an and intend to stay that way, then as far as I'm concerned, they're still veg*an.