How much is an apology worth? (kinda long)

[Chrysalis]

Okay, so I've been trying to forgive someone for a while now. I am finding it very difficult though because I feel that I need an apology, before I can forgive. This person is well aware of why I am hurt and angry (well not so much angry anymore...I have calmed down) so it's not a case of "oh, I had no idea you were upset!" He did email me an apology, but it was not a real apology. It was one of those "oh, I'm sorry you took it that way and I'm sorry it upset you" type apologies. Which is stupid considering how 1) when someone calls you a bitch (among other things I won't post here), there is only one way to take it and 2) there is nothing wrong with the way I feel, so I don't see why he'd apologize for my feelings. I want an apology for what he said/did, not the way I reacted to what he said/did if that makes any sense.

Anyways, I have not spoken with him since our little "disagreement" because I think that's the best way to go about it. Everyone I've talked to about this thinks I am better off not talking to him and that he obviously doesn't respect me etc (I agree). So I cut him out, and have nothing to do with him. Except lately he's been trying to talk to me, acting as if nothing is wrong. He sent an email asking if I want to get coffee. See now I'm conflicted, because I do not want to see him, but I need an apology so I can forgive and be at peace. I'm tired of being angry. I want to be able to pass him in the halls, at the bus station or whatever, without it being awkward or hostile. But I want him to understand that we are not friends and I will not forget the things he's said/done. Oh yeah he also seems to think I am "hung up" on him. Which is weird cuz, well, I am not talking to him cuz I don't like him...lol...the only thing I'm hung up on is that he won't apologize. Except I don't think he will apologize? It just drives me crazy when people have misconceptions about things...but knowing him he will go right on thinking whatever he wants to believe.

So now my question (yes, now I finally get to it, lol) is do you think it's worth it to talk to him again to try and get some sort of apology or closure or whatever? He's not a reasonable person (even though he thinks he is) so I dunno if it would be any use talking to him...gahh...I don't know. Should I continue to ignore him? What do you think? I'm just tired of being angry.

[Thalia]

I don't think you can depend on another person to find peace. He may never give the kind of apology you want. I don't think you necessarily have to forgive in that you have to come to a point where you don't think they've wronged you. However, I do think it's important to come to peace in your own life. That may require just not spending time around this person if you feel in your gut that he doesn't respect you.

[Magnus]

If you’re angry you have a right to that given what happened, but holding on to it is not helping you. If he is unreasonable it is unlikely that you will get what you need from additional conversations. By holding on to it you are keeping the event alive and kicking, and it sounds like it is dragging you down. I know you want closure but I’m not sure you can get it from him so you need to look into yourself for it.

There is a saying that I find so true. Holding a grudge is like letting your enemy live in your head rent free. Hope this helps.

[Chrysalis]

Thanx, I guess I knew that already, just need confirmation. I just want that damn apology!! But I guess I'll have to live without it. *looks around for something to throw*