Its ok, i havent hit the drink yet, i need help tho. I either want to drink or die, im so so sorry, i cant explain, what im going through. It has nothing to do with not drinking, its more than that, its the pain of loss, that years on, still cuts, like a knife, i DONT want to drink, i jus want to sleep, for ever, dissapear.

Im on MSN MESSENGER,, IF YOU READ THIS HELP!!!!!!


GHOST

:hug:

Guess if i still drank alcohol, i could drown my sorrows, now in sobriety, its all so much worse, suicide, seems a far better option. there is no fool proof option tho, the more i fight against this overwhelming desire, the more i think, im a burden, not on society, on myself..sounds strange, and i cant explain it, i dont want sympaty, {tho thanx for the hug AMY SF}, also its NOT going to be alright, thats what you say to kids when they cant sleep, ye i know, its the weak way out, and YES id leave lots of people devestated after my death, YES i should think of them, I AM!!!!!!!!!!

Jus want to sleep.

Ghost

Ps, wasnt sure where to post this.

I no longer want to cling on...


Ghost

Do you have a friend or family member you can call for help? This sounds very serious and you should have someone there to help you in person, and watch over you.

Would it help to talk it out here? Write out all of the pain and get it out?
Life can truly be a wonderful thing, even through the pain of it sometimes, please don't give it up. :(

Im still ere, **** knows Y. I cant handle this pain, thye said it would get easier, wot a ****ing lie, it gets harder every day. Its my right to die, just like it was my ex's and my dads, Y should i be stopped, i dont kno any longer what is keepng me alive, its not a miracle, i do not kno, or care..............

I miss my dad so much, SOOOO ****ING MUCH. Its taken me from 1998 till now to deal with my pain, now my only awnser is to **** of and stop hurting. Stop this pain. I spent YEARS away 4rm my dad @ stupid schools, now he's gone forever, its so ****. I want to hold him, talk to him, ask him stuff, scream @ him, WHY??????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????


Im so scared, im 5 DAYS AWAY FROM 36 AND IM SO ****ING SCARED. I WANT TO TELL HIM.

Just let me go...please

Ghost

I am still here, for now.

I know it is hard for you, this feeling that you are describing may be a chemical imbalance, please call this number right now (800) 784-2433