heyy

I've made the plunge and decided to go vegan, but none of my family is vegan, and apart from soups and baked beans (which is mostly what i'm living on) we don't buy vegan food. so my mum will cook a meal, and i will skip out whatever's in it that isn't vegan - for instance, tonight we had egg fried rice, and i didn't eat any of the egg chunks in it. would any of you consider just skipping out parts of a meal 'vegan' though? cos i was thinking, it doesn't really help animals to skip it out when it's been bought and cooked already. Money will still go to the egg farm that contributed to it. i just wanted to know, because i am really new to veganism, and i am not really sure what i'm doing.

I'm not currently vegan (although I have been vegan in the past), but I think that the same principles apply to my vegetarianism. When I was vegan I did not 'eat around' non-vegan items just as I would not 'eat around' meat, today. Just as you stated, doing that does not help the animals at all. The meat/eggs/dairy have already been used and by picking around it and putting it to waste, you are still contributing to suffering.
Why not just make vegan fried rice on the side for you to eat?

I wouldn't consider that vegan myself. Just because you pick out the big chunks, there are still miniscule pieces over everything if it was all cooked together.

It's not vegan, but if that's the closest you can get at this point in your life I wouldn't beat myself up over it. However, I'd also suggest talking to your mom in a non-demanding way about how she might set aside some food for you without animal products in it.

I don't think its that bad.. I mean, its not like they buy more meat or anything. I'm sure your family buys the same amount of meat, and you just don't eat it.

Your family doesn't buy veggies, fruit, beans, nuts/seeds or even grains (like brown rice)?

That's the saddest thing I think I've ever heard in my life. :no:

I picked out the meat once (I posted about that here) but that's a rarity upon a rarity, not something I do with any regularity. My kitchen is vegan, but my parent's house is not. When I visit there and it's mealtime, I have them hold out a bit of whatever before they put the butter/meat/etc in. That way, I eat what's best for me and me mum doesn't feel like she has to cook seperate meals when I come round. Maybe you should do something like that yourself instead of trying to pick the meat out.

Once you pick the meat out, you'll pretty much be expected to do it all the time (based on things I've read here written by other vegans).

Your family doesn't buy veggies, fruit, beans, nuts/seeds or even grains (like brown rice)?


It's possible! I grew up without eating any of those... I didn't have access to them.

It's not vegan, but if that's the closest you can get at this point in your life I wouldn't beat myself up over it. However, I'd also suggest talking to your mom in a non-demanding way about how she might set aside some food for you without animal products in it.

I agree with eggplant on this. It isn't, strictly speaking, vegan. But if you are not of age to be buying your own groceries then you're doing the best you can. Don't beat yourself up over this or things like it and simply try to talk to you mom about perhaps making some compromises future.

Your family doesn't buy veggies, fruit, beans, nuts/seeds or even grains (like brown rice)?

Growing up, the only meal that was meatless was breakfast (cereal).

Fruit was a bunch of bananas every week, and occassionally, a bag of apples/oranges/grapes, in season. On any given week, my parents might have purchased enough fruit for 1-2 servings per day.

The only grains we usually had were white bread/rolls. Sometimes we'd have instant rice or white pasta.

Veggies were just enough canned veggies to have as a side dish with dinner. About once a month, we'd get enough fresh/frozen for a beef stew. The only fresh veggies we usually had were onions, carrots and peppers.

Breakfast was usually corn flakes. Lunch was usually a meat sandwhich on white bread with chips or pretzels, maybe some cookies or a banana. Dinner was a slab of meat or meat-based casserole or soup, instant mashed potatoes and canned corn or some other vegetable. A few times per year my dad would get a hankering for "beans and cornbread". Even then, the beans were cooked with a big hunk of salt pork.

Most of the kids I knew growing up ate the same way. Even most of the adults I know don't eat much better. I know I used to eat that way, but I am often amazed at what people around me eat.:dizzy:

I really don't know. If the egg was used...meaning you ate around it and threw the eggs out or whatever, then I wouldn't "consider" it vegan. However, the label is not important. Do what you can and we will all love you. :D

And the theory behind boycotting is that if you didn't eat any of the meal, then your parents would have leftovers which they would eat before buying any more of it. Over time, it does make a difference. :yes:

well, i'm not beating myself up about it, but i do feel a bit bad, and i've told my mum that i won't do that again. i think i am going to have to make compromises at first though, just until my parents get used to the idea. my mum is really mad about me not having milk on my ceral and things like that, but hopefully she will come round.i think going vegan in a non-vegan house is always going to be difficult at first.

I'm vegetarian, and I don't 'eat around' anything. **** that.

I wouldn't eat around stuff either. Maybe you need to just transition slowly whilst you're still living with your parents. Like maybe cutting out eggs first but not dairy straight away (or vice versa). Or cut out both dairy and eggs in their 'whole' form but not worry about them too much as minor ingredients in other things.

It sounds like you're doing the best you can for that situation. It's hard when you're still living under your parent's roof. Once you move out you will no longer have to picking things out of your food!

well, i'm not beating myself up about it, but i do feel a bit bad, and i've told my mum that i won't do that again. i think i am going to have to make compromises at first though, just until my parents get used to the idea. my mum is really mad about me not having milk on my ceral and things like that, but hopefully she will come round.i think going vegan in a non-vegan house is always going to be difficult at first.

Emphasis added by me. Regarding eating cereal, an easy solution would be to get some soymilk, or some other type of nutmilk like almond milk. Cereal problem solved! :)

I agree with the others here that have said to just do the best that you can, and be open in communicating with your parents. Be respectful, but be specific about what it is you are saying. It may be hard right now, but it can and probably will get easier for you and your family.

This would be tough....trying to be veg*n when you are kind of at the mercy of other people's cooking!

I don't "eat around" stuff, either......won't pick pepperoni off a pizza or chicken out of a stirfry....if it has touched meat, I won't eat it. We went to dinner at my inlaws last week and they made kabobs. My MIL said I could pick the beef or chicken off and eat the veggies.....I said no thank you and stuck with the side dishes, lol!

A lot of people really don't get the not picking around things thing. A couple years ago at a family dinner my aunt had made scalloped potatoes with ham in them, and my sister in law asked me if I would just pick the ham out. Umm no. I don't want pig juice in my potatoes. Luckily my aunt was super nice and had set me aside my own little dish before she put the ham in it.

It can be very challenging. For me it depends on the situtation. If I am traveling and the only stop we are making for something to eat is at a gas station then if I can only get an egg sandwich with taylor ham then I pick off the ham and give it to someone else. If I am cooking for family (includes ominvours) then I make all vegie dishes and put a meat dish on the side. If I am at my mom's and she added something I don't like if I can pick it out I will if not I will eat something else. If I am ording out then I want it EXACTLY like I ordered it. I will send it back if need be.
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I don't think its that bad.. I mean, its not like they buy more meat or anything. I'm sure your family buys the same amount of meat, and you just don't eat it.

My mom used to make chicken ALL the time when I ate meat, and when I became vegetarian, she'd maybe make it once or twice a week. I'm vegan now and I've noticed that my family only eats meat maybe once every few weekends when they use the grill. Now it's colder outside and I'm seeing less and less meat at meals, and I don't think they even realize it. My mom unintentionally eats (almost) vegan most nights, save the cheese and salad dressing sometimes. :D I'm actually changing things! Except my Dad will always be a hardcore cheese/egg/butter/etc eater.

I changed things with my family also, they never eat meat like they used to 15 years ago. I also had a non-offending talk with my mom about health and nutrition and she said she wants to eat mostly vegetarian because of my father's blood pressure.

As far as your family goes... As your mother to get some soy/rice/almond/oat milk for you for cereal, and when she cooks something un-vegan then just ask her to save some food out for you. LIke ask her to save out a bowl of rice before she put the egg in it. When I was living with my parents and they were making something like BLTs I would just request mom to get my some fake bacon so I can eat BLTs too. I asked for some beans instead of meat for tacos, when we had hamburgers/hotdogs I would request a veggie version. Most other times, what they made was vegetarian. (I was l/o at the time)

it's getting better actually. My parents were trying to get me to eat the same thing today, and I just said no, i'll make myself something else instead, i'm not eating anything with egg in it. so my dad had the egg rice and i made something vegan. i think they are worried about me, but every time i say no to something then it's one step forward for me, because it gets my whole family to understand a bit better. the only one who's really, really opposed to my veganism is my older sister, but, oh well, she's not my parent.

I'm glad things are getting better for you. Make sure you eat plenty of fruits, veggies, and whole grains.

Don't pick around. Maybe start cooking for yourself? Would that be possible in your situation? And I agree with Countess Kerouac! :) It is important that you want to be vegan, and we love you for it :)))

When I went vegan I was old enough not to have to worry about that but my parents were concerned about my health anyway. I find it really helps to talk nutrition with them. That way they know you've done your research and that you are concerned about your own health. That helps a lot in my opinon.

My younger sister is lacto-ovo like me, and she gets really sick of people suggesting she pick out the meat. Someone offered her a danish or something with mono&diglycerides in it, and she turned it down. The person pressed her. She retorted, "Don't tell me I can just pick it out!"