I know we are all on pins and needles over Rita (especially anyone living down there) but I have a question.

Would this put you off? I'm curious.

A little message board I belong to had a get together in Portland. Among others, two people (one Midwest, one East Coast) came. They were told to arrive at 5 with food provisions for a party -- at my friend's house.

Well, they came early at 4. My friend meditates and this was her time to meditate. She did not open the door when they rang the bell.

She essentially made them wait out there for an hour while she meditated. Then she opened the door telling them she had an important conference call to explain the delay. She said her husband was pissed that these guys arrived early! What gives?

When people ring the door, I let 'em in. Couldn't she just miss the meditation session considering these people bothered with planes and airports across the country to attend this thing?

She strongly believes she did nothing wrong and that the visitors are in the wrong to arrive early.

Is that warped or am I missing something? Do I just forgive her this wierdness or perhaps passive-aggresively confront her? :lol:

I would've been pretty angry. On one hand, it might be pretty hard to keep a meditation going when distractions keep coming up, BUT.... these people flew across the country. This person was extremely inconsiderate.

I can see the other person's point of view, too. I mean, what if she didn't get home until 5 because she was meditating at a friends? I doubt she'd be blamed for using her free time how she chooses away from home.

Even if you fly cross country, arriving early is a possible inconvenience to your host or to yourself if they aren't back yet.

Had she started meditating when they arrived? If so, I don't blame her for not answering. She had something very important to her previously scheduled for that time. I wouldn't have been so inflexible, but it's well within her right, IMO. If she hadn't started yet, then asking them to return later would have been more polite than just not answering. If it were like 15 minutes early, then yes, I'd say she's being stubborn. But when you show up an hour early, you take the chance that your host may not be prepared to accomodate you.

It's forgivable, but, what a weirdo. Sure, they showed up early, but ya, they arrived from across the country. Suck it up, and let them in.

It's forgivable, but pretty weird. If she really wanted to meditate she could have let them in, made them a tea, expalian the situation and go mediate. She sounds rude.

i agree it's forgivable, but it was messed up of her ESPECIALLY considering they flew in from across the country. and why wasn't honest when explaining her reason for not opening the door? 'cause she didn't wanna look like a jackass!!!

On the one hand, they agreed on 5 for a reason; she meditates at 4. But they did fly across the country. I think she should be forgiven this time.

Yes, the lying got me too.

It's a bit (more than a bit?) odd and rude not to let people in because the arrived an hour early. However, I don't think it's worth quitting a friendship over.

The only thing that really bothers me is the fact that she lied about it. I mean, if meditation is that important to her, why would she lie about it? It doesn't make any sense to me.

I'd have let them in, given them some beers or lemonade, and said "Law and Order's on cable channel 40. I'm going to go meditate".

I'd have let them in, given them some beers or lemonade, and said "Law and Order's on cable channel 40. I'm going to go meditate".
I think that's a good compromise. I forgot about the lying part. That's not cool.

This is it. Bring them in for tea and then upstairs. What's so hard? Kiz and Brah., you have it, though everyone's comments help shed some light on this for me. Any other comments appreciated.

i say forgive her, play it cool.


if she comes at you with something like "you don't need to forgive me, i did nothing wrong", just print out this thread and hand it to her. lol.

You said her husband was pissed at them for showing up early. Why was that?

Really! I thought that bit with hub odd and I don't know why except to say he is soooo protective of her. On top of that he is old school, I mean really old school, English public (private) school educated, and I think early arrival is just not done. BTW, I'm 49 and they are in their 50's, though I hardly see that as an issue for most people - maybe it is for them.

Yeah, I already played it cool. That is my MO -- and then complain about it at veggieboards. :brood: :)

This is just more info about the kind of person you're dealing with (so you won't be surprised when she does something like this to you).

I would explain to her the other perspective, and if she thinks about it and reconsiders, great. If not, that's just her, take her or leave her.

Does anyone find it odd that this person was meditating. Meditation's for inter peace, enlightment, tolerance even. Maybe she should meditate more. Om

There are people on here who call themselves spiritual and argue that ahimsa includes animal experimentation (and promote it). The human capacity for self-delusion can be pretty great, when people want something for themselves.

I think you'r friend was being very selfish.(and controlling) thinking only of herself and her wants and needs and not giving a thought to what her visitors went through to get there. A true friend will give you the shirt off her back. This "friend" would'nt do that. Life is too short and I would rather have few honest,great friends than the one you discribed. Remember the golden rule. I would never in my life, not answer the door to friends who came from far and wide to visit me.
Alene

I would have been mad. Mostly because I think meditation is bull****, and I certainly wouldn't leave people at the door. Then again, I don't have any messageboard friends.

Carrot, what if it had been an activity you respected? Like, she set aside the time to work out on a treadmill, and she was just starting the warmup when the doorbell rang.

That's equally as ridiculous - but no matter what she was doing, I don't think there's an excuse for leaving people who have travelled a long way to see you - standing on your doorstep. I just think it's bad manners.

Then you say "oh bugger!", curse under your breath, and answer the door. Treadmill workouts and meditation can wait more easily than friends can wait sitting on the doorstep. You dash to the door, let them in, explain, go on with your workout. How hard is that?

Hmm.. or maybe answered the door, explained herself, and asked them to go grab a coffee elsewhere until 5?

yeah i think it's forgiveable, but weird too...and i think she should have let them in, then went to meditate if it was that important to her.