Talking to the principal about changing teachers...

[renaissancesun]

I don't really need any advice, I guess, I am just nervous and need to vent a little before I do this.

My kids have started attending the public schools down the street after being home-schooled and then going to a charter school for three years. We were really excited about them being so close to home and about how many more opportunities they will have in this much larger shool district.

My youngest, Evan, the only vegetarian in our family, BTW, is in the 5th grade. His teacher seemed nice, to me, at the "meet the teacher" night, but after the first day of school he came home and said "I hate her guts. She's really mean and she is just like Ms. Judy."

Ms. Judy was a teacher at his old school who was really nicey-nice to the parents, but obviously a phoney, and a real terror to the kids.

I have been gettting consistent messages that the new teacher does not have much respect for kids, or any different opinions, and probably should not even be a teacher. Yesterday she told Evan, something to the effect of "Vegetarians do too eat marshmallows. Vegans don't. You need to pick one and quit complaining." after he forgot and ate a marshmallow and did not want to eat any more.

First of all, what kind of idiot adult forces kids to eat something that is almost pure sugar? Second of all, she has constently badgered him about anything that he has done that does not conform strictly to what she wants. She even made a snide comment about how his picture interpretation of a book was different than everyone else's. At one point, she made a comment to another parent we know about how she "likes to stifle any creativity." because the guy's child had doodled on a notebook. The man is an artist and was considered an artistic prodigy as a child, so he is not too thrilled either.

Anyway, I am going to tell the principle that I wanted Evan to have a teacher that would help make the new school a good experience for him, and since he has to be with his home-room teacher almost all day, I want him in another class.

There is a lot more, but I have to get off of here.

[xrodolfox]

Good luck. I hope that you can get your kid out of that classroom soon. It is great that you've written this all down. It will help you make your case all the more concisely.

Good luck.

[Thalia]

If the principal seems unresponsive, you might want to get a group of parents together.

But have you talked to the teacher herself, first? It probably won't do any good, but it will pee her off if you jump rank and go to the principal first.

The more diplomatic you are and try to solve the problem with the teacher first, the more likely the prinicpal will listen. They probably get tons of parents wanting a different teacher for trivial reasons or without trying to work it out with the teacher first.

[Vegetarian_Girl]

Also i wanted to say maybe you can go before the school board

[rabid_child]

Ooo!! Is there a school social worker you can talk to?! I just started doing school social work and it sounds like something that I would be asked to go investigate. Sounds like that teacher needs some sensitivity training!! Good luck!

[Tame]

I have to go with Thalia. If you haven't talked to the teacher, your concerns will probably be dismissed by the principal. I'm not sure what the other concerns are, but based on what you posted, you may be in for tough sell to sound like more than an overlysensitive parent. Not saying you are, but it can come across that way.

[renaissancesun]

I have to go with Thalia. If you haven't talked to the teacher, your concerns will probably be dismissed by the principal. I'm not sure what the other concerns are, but based on what you posted, you may be in for tough sell to sound like more than an overlysensitive parent. Not saying you are, but it can come across that way.

Well, I am sometimes, so I have to really check myself on this kind of stuff. I think you guys are right.

I have been so overwhelmed lately, and I think it really just hit me wrong when he told me about this, on top of all the other crap he has told me about her. I made the appt. with the principal for tomorrow but I am going to call him in the morning and tell him that I need to see if it is something we can work out with the teacher.

I still think people like her were not cut out to teach grade school kids. I look at her sometimes and she looks like she is on heavy valium or something. I wonder if it will do any good to even talk to her, but I sure can't know until I try, eh?

[VeggieFaery]

good luck,I hope she is responsive.I've never understood why some people choose the teaching profession when they don't (or don't seem to ) like kids.It can't be for the money!

[Thalia]

BTW- I had a teacher like this in the 3rd grade. I really liked doing creative things, like a friend and I wanted to make a globe of an imaginary world during our free period (where if you were done with your work, you could do what you wanted) and she told us she thought it was unproductive and to stop.

I also liked to come up with different variations in my name, like combining my first and middle name, sometimes using ie for an ending, or sometimes using one of my nicknames. She chastised me and said I must only write my exact full and given name on my papers.

She also loved to praise kids who only gave the exact answer she was looking for, if you asked a thoughtful question or pointed out an inconsistency, she'd just quickly say that's not what she was looking for. Many teachers I've had have encouraged thoughtful questions and challenges.

Now that I think of it, this teacher prepared me for the same feelings of frustration working with a boss just like her.

[Seadolphin]

It really ticks me off to hear about teachers like this! Don't get me wrong, I'm not on some high & mighty kick thinking I'm perfect...but I sure as heck don't tell kids what they do or don't eat. Our school is actually enforcing a new policy this year about not having any food in the school, in part to keep the students from eating so much sugar. In the past, though, when we had class parties w/food I made sure that if there was something that contained an ingredient a student was allergic to, that I let them know what was in the food...but other than that it was eat what you want & if you don't want something, don't eat it. The whole stifling creativity thing really gets me, too. I believe that kids really learn from "thinking outside the box." In the class discussions I have in my classroom, there often is no "right" answer; my main thing is that they're thinking, not whether they're saying exactly what I thought of. In fact, I think its great when a student gives an answer that I hadn't even thought of. That's my vent for now. Sorry that this teacher is giving you & your child so much grief. I hope you talk w/her goes (or went) well. But if it didn't, go to the principal, or even higher if necessary. Your son is entitled to a positive learning environment where he feels comfortable & valued; and you're entitled to a learning environment for you child that you feel comfortable sending him to everyday!

[FreshTart]

We had a teacher like that last year. We didn't even bother trying and just went to the principal. She stopped speaking to J in any form, which he was thankful for. Yes, positive speaking would have been best, but no speaking at all was an improvement over her previous behaviour.

And she stopped speaking to us, which we were grateful for.

(He was not moved classrooms).

[treehugger]

I have found that some teachers are very different in the way they act with the parents compared to the students. Do they have cameras in the school rooms?

[bethanie]

My daughter had a teacher like that last year. I was so frustrated that by the end of the school year I decided to move my daughter to my own school. Good luck.

B

[Seadolphin]

I have found that some teachers are very different in the way they act with the parents compared to the students. Do they have cameras in the school rooms?
Several years ago when I was doing my student teaching & had a project to videotape myself teaching a lesson I learned that many school districts have very strict policies about videocameras in the classroom, in order to protect the children. I eventually found a school that allowed videotaping only after a letter had been sent home for parents to read stating the exact day & time of the taping. Only students who's parents had signed the letter could be present at the time of the taping. So, as beneficial as having cameras in the classrooms might be, they are oftentimes not allowed. Though in situations like this one, they could be quite helpful. And yes, some teachers are very different around parents than they are around students, in some cases its almost an entirely different person!

[peacecat]

i'm with seadolphin, as an elementary and early childhood teacher, i am so mad for you and your son's sake. even though it is "the right thing" to talk to the teacher, it's gonna be tricky. i mean, how would you even approach the topic? why are you such a lame teacher? i dunno, it's sounding way more about her fundamental beliefs about education than just a little adjustment. good luck... hope what i said wasn't discouraging.

[Libellula]

just remember to use the "I" statements, hun: I feel, I think, etc... :)

[Seadolphin]

Are things getting any better? How'd the talk go?

[Morna]

INSIST that your kid get another teacher. Take him out of that school if nessasary. I had a teacher like that as a child who was being beat up by her boyfriend and took it out on us. I had issues for years because of that.