I am now. I have a wonderful step daughter at the age of 7. She is not the problem, her mom is!

I have two children that I gave birth too. One was when I was 22 and never married(even though he wanted) The second was my son. Me and my ex seperated after almost 9 years together.

Now I am on my second marriage. He is the husband of my dreams,..... but his ex-wife is nothing but a game. I swear if I could put a quarter inside her, well I could play every game that she loves to play. She thinks the world revolves around her.

Me and my daughter's dad are best friends. Grew up together in the same schools. Best guy and girl friends in high school. I just think that I never fell in love with him to marry him, just because we had a child. We are best friends to this day and we both are married. No games, just all about my 13 year old daughter that we had.

My ex-husband, well he would go around the world for me and back for me and my son. We are both so mature.

But my husbands ex-wife, just loves to play games with us and use her daughter as a pond. It makes me sick! I am such an easy going person with two kids by two different fathers. But what I do not so get is she is such B! No matter how many talks that I have poured my heart out to her, so that she could just get to know me. We have 50/50 custody with my step daughter. Why does a 38 year old still play games? Especially when it involves a child! No communication on her part!

It is not about me or her, or my husband, but about my step daughter. Is she jealous? She left my husband for God sake, and took some of his money, that we still are repaying! What the hell more does she want?

Anyone else have a blended family and how do you deal, rather male or female?

Thanks.

Dont have a blended family but as a mentor with families dealing with similar situation.. the answer is SHE IS JEALOUS.

How to deal: Confront her and tell her that she needs to BACK off and start her own life without interfering with yours. Of course she would be in contact because of her daughter, but she needs to realize that there are boundaries and she cant step over the line.

Dont have a blended family but as a mentor with families dealing with similar situation.. the answer is SHE IS JEALOUS.

How to deal: Confront her and tell her that she needs to BACK off and start her own life without interfering with yours. Of course she would be in contact because of her daughter, but she needs to realize that there are boundaries and she cant step over the line.

Hey, thank you for your reply. What do you mean by a mentor? Is that not the same thing as a lawyer? We tried a mentor once, and she just cancelled it and could not deal.

Is this your job? I have confronted her so many times in a very mature way. I think that as long as she has a kid involved with me and my husband, well, she can just play games with us. She uses her own child as a pond and a game. I have always been there for my step daugther because I know it is not her fault. But she still acts likes she has some kind of control with us. I mean with her games. There is so much more that I could go into detail about, but I do not know short hand.:)

I have dealt with her on so many issues. Sweet as pie to me on the phone and face to face, but she always finds some stupid game to play. Me and my husband can not control her, and we both feel the same way. Trust me, I had to resort to her level one time. It was not me.

What sort of games does she play, and how does she use her child as a pawn? What does the little girl think of it, is she observant enough to see what's going on?

I am male, 31 and on my 2nd marriage. I have sole custody of my 12 year old son from my first marriage, and I have a 4 y/o son with my current wife. My ex is not in the picture, so I cant really offer advice, but just to stay true to yourself and do what you know is right by your spouse and his daughter. Your spouses ex sounds petty and jealous. She failed with the man with whom you are doing well. I bet that gets under her skin a little. Anyway, try to do what you feel is right without letting her get to you. Best of luck!!

Sean

This is my question as well - how is her daughter being used as a pawn, exactly?

Unfortunately, as long as your husband has partial custody, he will have to have contact with this woman. There's no way out of that.

I would advise as little contact between you and her as possible. Let your husband do the communicating with her. He lived with her, he surely has at least SOME idea how to communicate with her.
If she refuses to communicate with him in regards to his child, that can be a violation of thr custody arrangement and *could* result in her getting less custody of their daughter (not likely, but maybe if he told her that was a possibility she would stop the games?)
I am sure she is not interested in any "heart-to-heart" talks or getting to know you. Not to be mean, I just think she is only interested in her own agenda and in making things difficult.

What sort of games does she play, and how does she use her child as a pawn? What does the little girl think of it, is she observant enough to see what's going on?

Here is the games...She got married and tried to move out of the school district that her and my husband's divorce decree stands on. We had to pay 3k out of our pocket to stop it, just for her to tell us that she is getting an anulment!

If she is suppose to bring Lacy by at 7 well, she calls and says some stupid excuse that it will be at 10. on a school night. She has kept me up many of nights when I worked full time and on her scheduale just to get my step daughter.

She would just drop her off with me and never answer her cell phone on purpose, so that she would not have to pick up her daughter. Lacy had a big fever and cut off her finger 3 weeks ago and she was no were to be found! If we have her here, she will not pick up her cell phone or her home phone. We just leave messages after messages.

Her own son told me that she needed me to watch my step daughter, so that she could have time to date guys.

She had her daughter sleep on the couch so that she could be with a guy.

When my husband had to work, well if she did not feel like watching her daughter, she would take her take her to my house.

There is so much more. I never tried to get rid of my children!!! It makes me sick.

She loves to shop and does not want her daughter around, so we take her.

Umm.. full custodey battle here.

Would call me and my husband at 10 at night , just to say that she might need a babysiter, when my husband would try to call her a hundred times a day, just to communicate about their child.

And yeah, lacy knows, she is smart. She is torn by all the insucure comments about how many men that her mom has had in Lacy's life that my step daughter witnessed, just to be heart broken. We are stable. She has moved 5 times in 3 years. She also lost custody of her 3 boys by a privious marriage.

That is just the beggining of my chapter.

How old is Lacy?

Maybe you should have Lacy talk to her mother and ask her to stop using her. Sounds like she needs to work out her own problem and just putting it out on you and your husband because its convenient.

Yes im a mentor voluntarily because I work really well being a psychologist, not licensed/practiced. I deal with all sorts of stuff, comes naturally from being who I am and what I have been through.

I dont know where you live, but you can reinstate the custody battle if you and your husband is willing to take Lacy full time. Saves a lot of trouble from Lacy's mother causing problems in your marriage/family.

I dont know where you live, but you can reinstate the custody battle if you and your husband is willing to take Lacy full time. Saves a lot of trouble from Lacy's mother causing problems in your marriage/family.

I live in Kansas city, Missouri. Go chiefs. Sorry could not help myself for a minute.:tame:

You see they both have a divorce decree. They have to follow the rules ordered by court. She breaks them or tries to do. My huysband has sewed her two times and have garnishes her wages for the past, but she uses the system, and has filled bankrupecy 2 times. He will never get his money back, but that is not really the case.

The case is that she is is trying to break the law with the 50/50 and darn her, can not do it. We are trying to protect Lacy from any more faul play that she she try's to pull. For our pertection and for my husband's daughter, That I put so much energy into. It is draining.

I am male, 31 and on my 2nd marriage. I have sole custody of my 12 year old son from my first marriage, and I have a 4 y/o son with my current wife. My ex is not in the picture, so I cant really offer advice, but just to stay true to yourself and do what you know is right by your spouse and his daughter. Your spouses ex sounds petty and jealous. She failed with the man with whom you are doing well. I bet that gets under her skin a little. Anyway, try to do what you feel is right without letting her get to you. Best of luck!!

Sean

Good for you, I know women can fall short, and guys do not get much credit.

Good dad. Keep on going!!:bobo: Best of luck to you too!:)