I need some advice. I recently became a vegetarian and my family has completely abandoned me for it. Not literally but they do not support me whatsoever. I am very upset by this andf feel very hurt. They have always supported me in other things but not what I choose to not eat. I don't know what to do. I respect that they eat meat even though it offends me, I don't tell them that. I need advice from anyone please.

Elle

Sometimes when family members do not understand or approve of a move that someone has made, they don't know how to react to it. Have they mentioned any reasons why they don't like your change to vegetarianism? They may actually be concerned, and are having a very hard time trying to deal with it.

If you let us know what they have problems with, we might be able to give you some answers to give to them. Otherwise, be patient, eat healthily, and show by example that being vegetarian isn't a bad thing.

I am very upset. My family judged me the day I told them I converted to vegetarianism. They still do. I am very respectful of them and they can't give me that in return. My family tells me they think I am being rediculous but I don't understand how what I don't choose to eat anymore is rediculous. I think they feel threatened but I have never been obnoxious about who I am now so I don't understand that either. I tell them that I am even more healthy than I was when I wasn't an animal eater. They don't really say that they think I'm unhealthy but I've told them that anyway. It's so uncomfortable now but I do not regret the decision I've made. I just don't know what to do.

ElleLove

Why do they think that being a vegetarian is ridiculous? Is it health? Do they just think it's not normal? Have you tried to explain to them why you chose to be a vegetarian, because this might help...

My family tells me they think I am being rediculous but I don't understand how what I don't choose to eat anymore is rediculous.

If they don't understand, maybe you can try to help them to understand. Print out some appropriate literature (not scare tactic stuff, but perhaps a few poignant articles about animal abuse and factory farms, as well as an article on vegetarian health) and tell your parents that while you don't expect them to change their ways, you want them to understand and accept YOUR choices, and to please read the information with an open mind. Make it clear to them that you're very serious about it, and your decision is not open for debate, that it's what you feel in your heart you must do.

I think they feel threatened but I have never been obnoxious about who I am now so I don't understand that either.

Sometimes simply the mere mention of "vegetarian" gets people's backs up. They feel judged, even if they are not being judged, because of the connotations that go along with vegetarianism. Your existence is now a constant reminder to them, a thorn in the side of their "normal" lifestyle. People don't want to be challenged on their actions and way of thinking, particularly when there's a good possibility they know deep down that their actions are not the most earth, animal and human-friendly. There's very little you can do about it.

farmsanctuary.org has lots of thoughtful AR stuff you could consider. :)

Thank you very much. I will go to that sight. I appreciate it. I have explained to my family, I have told them how serious this change is for me and how it is in my heart to be vegetarian but they don't want to see how this is a good thing. I am a baby vegetarian, I've only been one for 7 months.

ElleLove

It will probably help your family to see some stuff coming from a credible organization.

The least they can do is accept it and not make life difficult for you. Make it clear to them that you are not expecting them to make changes themselves (once you get acceptance for yourself, THEN you can work on them ;)) Tell them they don't have to agree with you, but that you have really thought about it and done your research and have decided it's the best decision for your heart and soul and please can they be supportive of that.

I find that people get the most uncomfortable when they think you will expect them t o change as well. Make sure they know that this is YOUR choice and you are not judging them and don't expect them to alter their lifestyle.
Also make the transition easier on them by preparing your own food as much as possible so they don't have that to complain about.
Give it time...it took my grandparents ten years to stop asking me if I wanted meatballs at sunday dinner. Once they realize you are commited they will have to accept it.

lol I know how you feel. They still ask me if I want the chicken enchilada's their eating. I haven't ever forced my vegetartianism on anybody. That's why I am confused why they don't respect it. I could understand if I was one of those obnoxious people who cram their vegetarianism down other people's throats but I haven't been like that. I've told them that I am serious about it and I have 100% given it up. I have explained alot about it, I have told them all positive things and they act as if I have told them something rediculous and horrable. I have shown them articles and all this good stuff but it is no use.

Ellelove, i went through something similar, but I became a vegetarian after I moved out of my parent's home, so it was arguably easier for me.

My mother's first reaction when I became vegetarian was "Well I'm not surprised!", probably because I've always exhibited a "rebel" flare ;-) But as it became more apparent to her that this wasn't temporary, and rather a complete life change, she became withdrawn and insecure. Think about it. A meal is one of the few things a family shares nowadays. We all have our own activities, classes, work, etc, and food is the glue that binds us together culturally. Most cultures have a close tie with their food ( Italian, French, Spanish, Chinese, Indian, even american, you name it, every culture loves food!) When suddenly you choose to reject the food your family eats, in a way, you are rejecting them too. You mom might not know how to make your new foods, and feels a sense of loss as to how to nurture you. Your other family members feel that you are somehow judging them, because their food isn't "good enough" for you, so they must obviously be beneath you. you see what I mean? So its hard for them, its not so cut and dry as we all might hope.

I do my best to not judge their food choices. I tell my mother that the food she makes for everyone else looks good, I offer to help her in the kitchen when preparing food for my husband and I. I show her in other ways how much I appreciate her, so she doesn't have to feel that food is the only way she can express her love for me. Try doing that, and see how it works. :-) Good luck!

thank you. I appreciate it. It is very helpful. I get what you're saying. I just feel like crying because it is rediculous how hurtful they make me feel over this. I tell them, " I just love animals and I'm not going to be a hipocrit anymore and sit down and eat them after I've just said I love them." simple as that I said. they don't make my meals, I make them and i pay for them because i want to even though they don't like that I do. it is just rediculous and wrong that they make me feel weird and stupid and hurt over this. I want to run away.

ElleLove