Since FB felt the adults were picking on her and had the thread closed, let's continue the discussion here. Personally, in the thread, I didn't see anyone calling her names (slut, tramp, moron, idiot), but she thought the adults were picking on her. In my opinion, if you're reproducing, you are now an adult. Which brings me to the point of this:

If I judge all teen mothers-to-be by the reaction on VB in the few teen pregnancy threads we've ever had, my overall impression is not a good one. Seems that the teens often care about cute outfits, outragous names, and generally insignificant things of that nature.

Also, I'd like to say -- if you are not using your birth control properly or aren't using any at all, then you are trying to get pregnant. And I find it hard to trust someone to be responsible to look after the overwhelming needs of a baby when they cannot be trusted to look up some info on the pill, condoms, depo, or anything else and ask their doctor some educated questions.

If I judge all teen mothers-to-be by the reaction on VB in the few teen pregnancy threads we've ever had, my overall impression is not a good one. Seems that the teens often care about cute outfits, outragous names, and generally insignificant things of that nature.

That's probably true in many teens but having a baby is a sobering reality. I agree that most teens, including myself when I was a teen, are not mentally ready to have children. However, adult women care about cute outfits and other insignificant things. Perhaps we are quicker to pick up on such things when it is a teen who is pregnant.

However, adult women care about cute outfits and other insignificant things. Perhaps we are quicker to pick up on such things when it is a teen who is pregnant.True, but believe me, I pick up on it in older women, too. :spew:

Again, that seems to be ALL they care about (going on VB threads, past and present), instead of things like finding a way no matter what to go to the doctor, finding out how to eat properly, taking vitamins, asking questions about how your lifestyle may affect your baby, finding out ways to start preparing for the arrival of a baby, etc. Instead of whining you are being picked on or only caring if you are allowed to go on a rollercoaster while pregnant.

True, but believe me, I pick up on it in older women, too. :spew:

I agree, older women can be generally annoying. But are they only caring about the cute things about having a baby because they are immature, or because they have the money, the time, and the knowledge to raise a baby and were planning for this for some time?

I agree, older women can be generally annoying. But are they only caring about the cute things about having a baby because they are immature, or because they have the money, the time, and the knowledge to raise a baby and were planning for this for some time?


Then again, the way people don't use protection - or don't use it properly - it seems a lot of people are planning a pregnancy for some time :rolleyes:

I'm with you on that. I think a lot of accidental pregnancies are not so accidental. I know a lot of people in RL who were supposedly on the pill and got pregnant. One of them even talked about how much she wanted to get pregnant before "accidentally" getting pregnant.

It's generally the last who should be reproducing are the first to do so...

:sealed:

:nigel: C.

Since FB felt the adults were picking on her and had the thread closed, let's continue the discussion here. Personally, in the thread, I didn't see anyone calling her names (slut, tramp, moron, idiot), but she thought the adults were picking on her.

I thought everyone was offering really great advice and I thought it was a pity that the thread had closed. I still would like to know if FB called the doctor and asked about any dangers of the shot while pregnant.

If I judge all teen mothers-to-be by the reaction on VB in the few teen pregnancy threads we've ever had, my overall impression is not a good one. Seems that the teens often care about cute outfits, outragous names, and generally insignificant things of that nature.

I got to be honest, it seems that the reactions you are talking about on VB are the same that I see on some of those "talk" shows. Where the teenagers really want to get pregnant for whatever reason and they really don't see the consequences of their actions. I thought it was talk show melodramatics but I wonder if this isn't the reality of the situation.

And I don't know whose to blame - parents? I mean - who is taking care of a 13, 14, 15, 16 - year olds. You can't completely blame a child for not being responsible.

Also, I'd like to say -- if you are not using your birth control properly or aren't using any at all, then you are trying to get pregnant. And I find it hard to trust someone to be responsible to look after the overwhelming needs of a baby when they cannot be trusted to look up some info on the pill, condoms, depo, or anything else and ask their doctor some educated questions

Amen sister.

It's generally the last who should be reproducing are the first to do so...

:sealed:

:nigel: C.

agreed.

i think the problem is, in our society, people are not being taught to "grow up" i.e. take responsibility for themselves or their actions. this is true generally.

where we see it manifested, in this topic, is that those who are the least responsible for their themselves sexually, are the ones getting pregnant. for some reason, getting pregnant is NOT a reality check. i've seen this many times in real life in my own family.

it is a topic that frustrates me to no end because

a. it is relatively easy to NOT become pregnant
and
b. you are no longer just responsible for your own life, but for someone elses'. we have seen how responsible you were with your own, so i don't hold out much hope for what will happen for this other living being who deserves a good life.

I got to be honest, it seems that the reactions you are talking about on VB are the same that I see on some of those "talk" shows. Where the teenagers really want to get pregnant for whatever reason and they really don't see the consequences of their actions. I thought it was talk show melodramatics but I wonder if this isn't the reality of the situation.


As I don't really know many pregnant teens, except a couple from high school that didn't act the online way, I am only basing my rant on VB.

I looked up what the patient insert says about birth defects
http://www.pfizer.com/pfizer/download/uspi_depo_provera_contraceptive.pdf

6. Unexpected Pregnancies
To ensure that DEPO-PROVERA CI is not administered inadvertently to a pregnant
woman, the first injection must be given ONLY during the first 5 days of a normal
menstrual period; ONLY within the first 5-days postpartum if not breast-feeding, and if exclusively breast-feeding, ONLY at the sixth postpartum week (see DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION)....
Neonates from unexpected pregnancies that occur 1 to 2 months after injection of DEPO-PROVERA CI may be at an increased risk of low birth weight, which, in turn, is associated with an increased risk of neonatal death. The attributable risk is low because such pregnancies are uncommon.9,10 A significant increase in incidence of polysyndactyly and chromosomal anomalies was observed among infants of users of DEPO-PROVERA CI, the former being most pronounced in women under 30 years of age. The unrelated nature of these defects, the lack of confirmation from other studies, the distant preconceptual exposure to DEPOPROVERA CI, and the chance effects due to multiple statistical comparisons, make a causal association unlikely.11 Neonates exposed to medroxyprogesterone acetate in utero and followed to adolescence, showed no evidence of any adverse effects on their health including their
physical, intellectual, sexual, or social development. Several reports suggest an association between intrauterine exposure to progestational drugs in the first trimester of pregnancy and genital abnormalities in male and female fetuses. The risk of hypospadias (five to eight per 1,000 male births in the general population) may be approximately doubled with exposure to these drugs. There are insufficient data to quantify the risk to exposed female fetuses, but because some of these drugs induce mild virilization of the external genitalia of the female fetus and because of the increased association of hypospadias in the male fetus, it is prudent to avoid the use of these drugs during the first trimester of pregnancy... Bolding in original.

polysyndactyly is webbed fingers or toes.
mild virilization of the external genitalia of the female fetus is usually just an extra large clitoris, probably unoticable, and definitely does not need correction
hypospadias in the male is a urethra which is off center or on the side of the penis. Does not need correction

Basically there are small increases of defects, but the risks and defects are small and not worth worrying about

To ensure that DEPO-PROVERA CI is not administered inadvertently to a pregnant
woman, the first injection must be given ONLY during the first 5 days of a normal
menstrual period

Maybe we went over this, but if you are giving the injection to a woman during her first five days of her period, how on earth can she be pregnant?

Maybe we went over this, but if you are giving the injection to a woman during her first five days of her period, how on earth can she be pregnant?It was given to her mid-cycle. Seemingly FB has had very bad luck with clinicians.

Maybe we went over this, but if you are giving the injection to a woman during her first five days of her period, how on earth can she be pregnant?

you can be pregnant and have seemingly "normal" (or usually, lighter) periods, at the very initial stages.

It seems like some people like to have the "moral" high ground and condescend.

Teens who have babies already have it tough. Sure, there are people who like to focus on clothes and names... but what do you expect? For (many) teens, that is what is socially constructed as important affects to their identity.

It seems like the only people who are allowed to have children on this forum without reprimand are rich white women who've already gotten their carreers on "GO!", but that happen to be under 35 ('cause you wouldn't want to endager the bagy with birth defects).

This board befuddles me often. :(

It seems like some people like to have the "moral" high ground and condescend.

Teens who have babies already have it tough. Sure, there are people who like to focus on clothes and names... but what do you expect? For (many) teens, that is what is socially constructed as important affects to their identity.

It seems like the only people who are allowed to have children on this forum without reprimand are rich white women who've already gotten their carreers on "GO!", but that happen to be under 35 ('cause you wouldn't want to endager the bagy with birth defects).

This board befuddles me often. :(

I did not see anyone condescend anyone on that thread. Some people went to alot of trouble and supplied many informative links. I think that because there were lots of straightforward concerns and questions, that was considered "picking on". I guess it all depends on how you see it.

BTW - I was 38 before I had my first child. I did not have a career on "GO". AND it is extremely scary carrying a child when you are over 35 and wonder if the baby will be fine with no birth defects.

I did not see anyone condescend anyone on that thread. Some people went to alot of trouble and supplied many informative links. I think that because there were lots of straightforward concerns and questions, that was considered "picking on". I guess it all depends on how you see it.

I am talking about this thread. It does seem like people are using sarcasm in a condascending nature. There are a few earnest people, like yourself, but that seems a bit rare on this thread.

BTW - I was 38 before I had my first child. I did not have a career on "GO". AND it is extremely scary carrying a child when you are over 35 and wonder if the baby will be fine with no birth defects.

That was my point.

Doctors already try and scare the cr@p out of you for being over 35 and pregnant... even though the large majority of women over 35 have healthy babies. I would guess that this VB site is one place where you wouldn't find much support for a some over 35 who's expecting a baby.

My point: VB is not a friendly place unless you're well off and in between acceptable age limits.

Aren't you the person who suggested lesbian swim meets as a means for social change? :lol:

why was it (or was it?) different 'back in the day? my grandmother was married at 16 and my father was born shortly before their anniversary. i think this was fairly common back then, so were they more 'mature' back then? i'm not sure how to word this question, but i guess i'm thinking along the line of social norms and expectations we put on teenagers

1. Having babies was your job.
2. Yes, more mature in some ways. My mother, for example, is in her 70s. She went to work at 12 cleaning people's houses. She helped her mother cook and clean their house in the morning, then go to work, then come home and clean and cook. And do it the next day. There have always been immature people in history, but it's easier to be immature these days.

why was it (or was it?) different 'back in the day? my grandmother was married at 16 and my father was born shortly before their anniversary. i think this was fairly common back then, so were they more 'mature' back then? i'm not sure how to word this question, but i guess i'm thinking along the line of social norms and expectations we put on teenagers


I would think it was because girls/women 'back then' were expected to be mothers, look after the children and the home - not go to school, not get a job. The husband was the sole breadwinner.

I agree its easier to be more immature these days. These kids are part of the entitlement generation. They think they deserve fancy clothes, cell phones, cable modem access and dinners out with their friends all the time, all on their parent's dime.

And also, people are more self-centered. Teens who are flippant with their fertility aren't just affecting their lives, but their parents and the baby as well (especially when the teens depend on parents for everything, as most teens today do.) Kids are lazy, and I blame the parents for enabling their kids, too. Some kids say "my folks wont let me work." What the heck is that? I was flipping burgers and the like starting at 15, and I still managed to graduate at the top of my class. Quite frankly if you AREN'T working, that's the problem - you have too much free time to get into trouble.

Watching adults struggle to get by at minimum wage while working with a bunch of teenagers could be a good motivating factor for our youth to plan their lives a little more carefully.

Yikes do I feel old.

Aren't you the person who suggested lesbian swim meets as a means for social change? :lol:

Way to be a jerk, FreshTart. Nothing is nicer than to demean someone else, eh?

Not to mention, you warped my words.
I did say that one of the many small ways that I do what I can to help make the world better (besides being Vegan) is to coach an adult LGBT swim team. It helps build community. I also do many other things.

Your words, on the other hand, are so sarcastic, it is hard to get to what you mean other than the condescending tone (which is very real). You are the one who is condescending in this thread. You are the one who most likely made the teen feel "abused". It must be nice to go on power trips on helpless teen mothers.

You do measure people by strict, ridiculous standards, and expect the world to do the same. You measure your pain as invaluable suffering, yet extend the rest of the world a, "you did it to yourself".

So now you rail on teen mothers for worrying too much about fashion?! Come on. Big f-ing deal. Being a mother is tough, and teens these days are still kids.

If you want to idealize motherhood a few decades back remember to talk about the rampant sexism, and the fact that women made less than 50 cents to the dollar for the same work that men did. Remember that rape was legal inside marriage, and remember that Jim Crow laws kept those poor black welfare mothers off the gov't payroll.

It was great in 1940!

Gollygee, Ms. Freshtart, you've got a point! [/sarcasm]

Most teenagers don't seem to realize that they are fully 100% responsible for a life.
There is no more 'my parents' to rely on. This isn't like playing house with a doll-cute clothes,goofy names,etc. and I get the impression that MOST are way too immature to deal with pregnancy...