ok this story is long and probably very boring but please bare with me because i need some advice.
my 'best friend' her bf, my fiance and myself went away on holiday together last month and i think it has possibly ruined our friendship.
we had 2 heated arguments while we were away but i thought all was forgotton as they were about silly little holiday things (she was totally ok with me for the rest of the holiday) we are the sort of people who would have a good shout at each other then forget about it.but it seems that since we got back she has been ignoring me.i'm not sure why though, none the arguments involved any personal insults (apart from one she aimed at me) and we 'made up' again afterwards.
i've rang her countless times in the last 3 weeeks and she has only answered twice, both of which times she cut me short and said she'd ring me back - which she didn't.
i've asked her whats wrong but all she says is 'nothing' and when i asked if i had done something wrong, she said no.everytime i ring her house, her mum says shes out with her bf, i'm begining to think she's covering for her.this is really upsetting me because she's the only friend i've got.we've stuck it out together through thick and thin and i can't work out what has caused so much tension to form between us.
what do you all think?
maybe i'm just being paranoid,i don't know...
anyway, thanks for listening.
:)

It's been three weeks, huh? How often did you used to talk before the vacation?

nearly everyday :(

Hmmmm.... I don't think you're being paranoid at all. She is clearly avoiding you. Since it looks like she is not willing to resolve the situation. Something is wrong and she apparently thinks you should "just know". I would say that you should probably stop calling her altogether and assume the friendship is over. You've done more than your share of trying, short of breaking into her house, tying her to a chair, and threatening to make her eat green persimmons if she doesn't tell you why she's upset. You've done your part in trying to resolve the situation. I am really sorry this is happening to you. :hug:

Maybe she will change her mind, and if she does, you can decide whether you've changed yours or not. I would definitely make sure she tells you what was up. "Everything's alright now and I am happy!" deserves a response of "Okay, well now can you explain why you've put me through Hell?"

Once again, I am sorry, and hang in there. :hug: It sounds to me like your feelings about this situation are head on. The responsibility for continuing the friendship is now solidly hers.

thanks FtF, that has made me feel better.instead of blaming myself, maybe i should accept she isn't my friend anymore.
cheers :)

I'd say that if her friendship really means a lot to you, don't let it just fade away--try and see if you can meet with her face to face and get some sort of reaction from her. Write her a card and mail it to her house; tell her that you miss her and you're not sure how she's doing. Ask to get together at a certain time and ask that she call you to confirm the date. Whether good or bad, at least you'll know what the deal is and either make up with each other or end the friendship with a bang. I don't like the "fade away" stuff, myself.

And, if necessary and if you really want to keep the friendship, beg for forgiveness over the "heated arguements." Maybe she really was upset and just needs some "I'm sorry"s (even if it wasn't totally your fault).

It's so sad when friendships end. It does happen, but if she's important to you, try and fix it if you can. Good luck!

I agree with froggy, although that persimmons thing...I had no idea he was so twisted. Anybutt, it could be something her boyfriend said to her, in which case she'll come running back to you when they break up. I wouldn't hate her for it but some new friends might be nice.

Also I'm glad that Mini is doing well. :)

Also I'm glad that Mini is doing well.
thanks qwerks :)

ok this story is long and probably very boring but please bare with me because i need some advice.
my 'best friend' her bf, my fiance and myself went away on holiday together last month and i think it has possibly ruined our friendship.
we had 2 heated arguments while we were away but i thought all was forgotton as they were about silly little holiday things (she was totally ok with me for the rest of the holiday) we are the sort of people who would have a good shout at each other then forget about it.but it seems that since we got back she has been ignoring me.i'm not sure why though, none the arguments involved any personal insults (apart from one she aimed at me) and we 'made up' again afterwards.
i've rang her countless times in the last 3 weeeks and she has only answered twice, both of which times she cut me short and said she'd ring me back - which she didn't.
i've asked her whats wrong but all she says is 'nothing' and when i asked if i had done something wrong, she said no.everytime i ring her house, her mum says shes out with her bf, i'm begining to think she's covering for her.this is really upsetting me because she's the only friend i've got.we've stuck it out together through thick and thin and i can't work out what has caused so much tension to form between us.
what do you all think?
maybe i'm just being paranoid,i don't know...
anyway, thanks for listening.
:)


My best guess is that it has something to do with her b/f. but not directly. Many times if something goes wrong in a group of friends (such as an argument), one is likely to run to one and stay away from the other. In other words she took up with the newest person in her life, usually brought up by resentful feelings against their old friend. I'm not sure if you understand that but I've seen it happen over and over and has even happened to me. But, on the other hand possibly if they broke up she would come back being sorry and want to be friends again. Right now shes probably just more interested in the newest influence in her life, because thats how things are in the beginning right? See what I'm saying?

Aww love. Can you write her a letter or an e-mail explianing how important your friendship is to you? And that even if she doesn't want to be friends, you deserve to know the reason why? That's what I'd do. I'm sure you've been through worse than this. Remember that friendships like that, 'thick and thin' are hard to find.