So, this is dumb, but:

I've only met this guy twice (he's a friend of a friend). He e-mailed me wanting to hang out for coffee/drinks and I invited him to come out with my friends and me tomorrow night for happy hour (hoping the group setting won't mean it's a date). He e-mailed back to say yes and instead of my name, he wrote, "Hello Beautiful!"

Friendly and funny or a little creepy?

I need to respond to his e-mail to let him know what time to meet us. Should I say something about it or just let it go?

I think he thinks it's a date. It's uncomfortable for you that he called you Beautiful. If i were you, I would be very honest about this and direct. I'd get things straighened out immediately and in the e-mail I'd say something in the line of "it's nice of you to call me beautiful but I hope this doesn't mean that you're thinking we're on a kind of a date or something and that it's just a friendly way of addressing someone".

i would just ignore it for now and see how he acts when you guys are out. who knows he might be like that with everyone.

I would just let it go. Unless you wanted to pursue it/him, in which case you could do it at the group gathering--not in your reply message.

I think there is a big difference between (1) a guy referring to you as "Beautiful" instead of using your name and (2) actually saying, "I think you are beautiful."
For one thing, you don't know whether he used the term "Beautiful" because he forgot or can't be bothered to remember your name. Maybe he calls every woman he meets "Beautiful," "Honey," "Darling," whatever.

I am sorry to say this, because I know many women seem to hunger after being called "beautiful." But this can come under the heading of "leading a person on."

So I would not respond to this in the reply, but feel free to do as you please if he comes to the group gathering. :D

I'd just let it go. It's probably no big deal. A little flirty, yeah, but probably still no big deal.

At work I have guys call me beautiful, sweety, darling, honey, whatever, over the phone. They can't even see me, so obviously it's just some kind of habit of theirs. Some people are just weird like that.

I have good friends of the male variety who start off a conversation with "Hi Beautiful!", "Hello Princess", and "How are ya, Sexy?" *shrugs* Maybe he's like them. Hard to tell.

So I would not respond to this in the reply, but feel free to do as you please if he comes to the group gathering. :D

Wait... You thinking calling him on it in front of my friends is the best way to go? Wouldn't he be morified?! That's why I thought maybe saying something via e-mail would be better.

I think Joe meant that you should wait until you're around him in person, and if he still gives you the creeps, say something to him about backing off.

At work I have guys call me beautiful, sweety, darling, honey, whatever, over the phone. They can't even see me, so obviously it's just some kind of habit of theirs. Some people are just weird like that.

Do you live in the South (USA)? The only strangers I've ever had call me by those titles were from Georgia or Alabama.

We do have one client who calls all us women in the office "Sweetie," but that's because he's a chauvinistic idiot who likes to pretend he's smarter than we are.

Hard to tell. If it makes you uncomfortable next time just respond with "Hello Butthead."

Do you live in the South (USA)? The only strangers I've ever had call me by those titles were from Georgia or Alabama.

We do have one client who calls all us women in the office "Sweetie," but that's because he's a chauvinistic idiot who likes to pretend he's smarter than we are.

We make calls all over the country. Some of them are from the south, some aren't.

Some of them are obviously being condescending, but I'm a telemarketer, so it's not like I don't get worse.

Wait... You thinking calling him on it in front of my friends is the best way to go? Wouldn't he be morified?! That's why I thought maybe saying something via e-mail would be better.

No, I didn't mean "calling him on it." I meant if you wanted to flirt with him, that might be appropriate in a group setting. I am assuming that you would get a better feel for what he was like and whether you wanted to pursue something with him in person rather than via e-mail.

Ah-hah. Yeah, I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything. I just don't want to date him. At least, not now.

Thanks all! :)

It could be worse.. he could have said "Hello Ugly"

It could be worse.. he could have said "Hello Ugly"


Isn't there an old African proverb that states that it doesn't matter what names you are called, it only matters what names you answer to?

(Don't answer to derogatory names.)

people who definitely didn't mean anything by it have said "hey beautiful" to me. okay, one that i can think of has actually said it, but i can think of other people who would say something like that.

I know of a couple of guys who call all women Beautiful and Princess. I wouldn't even call it flirty from them. Though maybe he doesn mean it in a flirty way, it's hard to tell from just an email.

I like Michael's suggestion the best, actually.

I would leave it, give him back a quick email, and then let your body language do the talking at the group thing. Assume he just wants to be friends, and if he sends more signals, then you should start to more actively show you're not interested.

Isn't there an old African proverb that states that it doesn't matter what names you are called, it only matters what names you answer to?

(Don't answer to derogatory names.)


There's also the saying "call me anything you'd like.. just don't call me late for dinner" :p

Hard to tell. If it makes you uncomfortable next time just respond with "Hello Butthead."

:D

Isn't there an old African proverb that states that it doesn't matter what names you are called, it only matters what names you answer to?


There's also an African proverb (Swahili) which says:

"Swallow saliva before you cross a one-log bridge."

(Off-topic. Me??? Never!!!!!)

He sounds like the type to call girls his "ladyfriends"

Let us know what happened when you all went out.

The owner of the company I used to work for used to always greet me and a few other female employees with "morning beautiful". He was in his mid fifties and his wife also worked at the company. It always creeped me out. My co-worker liked it. :-/

Maybe he just forgot your first name. Happens.

I admire anyone who has the guts to speak up when someone is unintentionally making them uncomfortable like this. Most people just wince and let it go because they know the person isn't trying to be creepy, but really it would be better for both if the offended party said something because the other person probably wouldn't want to be seen as annoying or weird or creepy.

I never have the nerve to say anything, I always let things go. It's never a good time to seriously say "look, I don't like it when you call me that" because the person always seems to be so hurt and sorry - and the longer you wait the worse they'll feel once they realise they've been annoying you all this time.

A guy I knew used to call me "lemonpie" and "sugarpop" constantly because he thought it was cool, hip, like a tough Bruce Willis. But occasionally when people overheard, they would think he and I were dating. This was not helped by the fact that this guy would casually throw his arm around me and stuff like that.

I'm certain it made him feel like a stud to have such a way around the fillies when the truth is that I cringed at him every time. Finally I told him not to call me those things anymore, and he was like "You never said anything about it before." Well I'm saying something now.

I'm slowly learning that speaking up for myself is like sexual intercourse. At first it's confounding and difficult, scary and uncomfortable and it even hurts. But after you try it a few times it becomes easier and easier, more satisfying, and eventually you could practically do it in your sleep.