I supposed that, male veggies, if you want to, you can answer this, but I don't know...

Recently, I've been feeling more in-touch with my maternal side. I mean, I thhink I've always felt this way, but I didn't notice it as much because it wasn't so strong. Now, it's so strong that it's the only thing I can focus on. Does this mean I have to go out and get pregnant now? No, I'm too young and I was planning on adoption. But I was just wondering a few things... Is this feeling normal at my age (almost 15)? And when did you start feeling this way?

Silly question. :p Thanks in advance. :D

I think it varies for everyone. I'm 31, and have yet to feel maternal toward anything other than pets.

I think it's perfectly normal in your teen years to feel that way, for a lot of reasons. but primarily because your hormones are running rampant and your body is essentially physically "ready" to start having children. But that doesn't mean you should.

I felt that way around 19-22 then it went away. Sometimes I want to take care of something but 1 cat is enough responsibility for me.

And when the neighbour's infant starts screaming and crying incessantly, any maternal curiosity at all is quickly driven away. :p

I've pretty much always had those natural nurturing feelings. Its normal to have them and its normal not to have them. *shrug*

I think it's perfectly normal in your teen years to feel that way, for a lot of reasons. but primarily because your hormones are running rampant and your body is essentially physically "ready" to start having children. But that doesn't mean you should.

I felt that way around 19-22 then it went away. Sometimes I want to take care of something but 1 cat is enough responsibility for me.

And when the neighbour's infant starts screaming and crying incessantly, any maternal curiosity at all is quickly driven away. :p


I'm curious, do a lot of people not like the sound of babies crying? I'm only curious. I'm growing up now hearing little babies crying and I think it's adorable--for lack of a better word. I hear a baby cry and I just feel more, I dunno, maternal. For me, hearing a baby cry is beautiful and they want you to hold them.

But, I have a chihuahua and all he does is BARK BARK BARK at absolutely nothing.

maybe, i dunno. It irritates the hell out of me (as do small dogs barking, cats meowing constantly, etc)

Maybe I just hate noise.

Hmmm... before you know it, I'm going to be sitting on the porch in my lawn chair yelling at the kids to get off my lawn. :p

I don't mind crying infants, most of the time. It depends on my general stress level. They're little babies and babies cry... it's just what they do. If their parents are totally ignoring them then it annoys me, but more at the parents not the baby.

Crying toddlers is another thing, if it's that whiney I-want-to-get-my-way type of crying. I know that is a stage in toddler development, and nearly all of them go through it, but whining drives me up a wall!

I don't think there's anything wrong with not liking the sound of kids crying. Evolutionarily speaking, the reason they cry is to get the adults to pay attention and make that noise stop! :lol: So it stands to reason that it gets on our nerves!


On the maternal feelings question -- I feel nurturing/protective/etc toward my kitties. And I love my nieces to bits. But I don't want to spawn.

I really don't believe that Maternal instincts actually are Maternal or are Intincts. I think that culturally, women are raised in a certain way that encourages emotions like empathy. I don't think that a man can't feel just as eager to nurture as a woman could.

To answer your question, yes, I have felt very eager to have children since I was 14 or so. But logic tells me it'd be very hard to raise a baby my senior year of college. I know I need to be more stable before I adopt a child.

I didn't have that urge at 15, but in my mid-twenties it kicked in big time. I'm still putting it off at age 36 due to my personal and professional life, but I'll be ready soon. I'm positive there's an "instinct" involved, because I never was someone who was into babies or children (never liked babysitting as a teen) and I'm not really one to be controlled by societal pressures, but at about age 25 I started looking at babies with longing and feeling like my body was really primed for baby-making. It's hard to put into words. Even though I'm not one of those women who oohs and aahs over every child they see, I [I]feel[I] it deep down that I would enjoy carrying and raising my own children and that I'd be good at it. Strange...

In any case, of course you're too young to have a baby, but that feeling should last a long time and can wait until you're emotionally, financially, etc. ready.

I never had a maternal instinct toward baby humans. I think baby humans are cute, but I never wanted one. So, I dunno....

If you've read any of my posts...well, I don't have a desire to be around children of any age, calm, crying, whatever.

Like Ludi, I've also never had the maternal urge toward human babies. For whatever reason, I'm actually kind of grossed out by them. Specifically, the poop, the snot, the drool, the smell of their skin, their oddly shaped bodies and limbs with oddly placed fat deposits, their awkward movements and most of all, their, umm.. parts (I cannot stand to see baby "business" without feeling nauseous and dirty). I am not trying to be condescending with my somewhat graphic descriptions, I'm just saying how it makes me feel. I know what it is that grosses me out, but I don't understand why it does. Naturally, I shouldn't be grossed out by them, I should be compelled to want to take care of them on some level, even if not in the same way that others say they have an urge or an instinct.. but I just can't.. for some underlying reason that I can't explain. What makes even less sense it that with animals it's a different story. Nothing about animals grosses me out or discourages me from wanting to be around them. I know everyone is different but my case seems very strange, I guess...

I think it varies for everyone. I'm 31, and have yet to feel maternal toward anything other than pets.


Same here.

What do you mean by your maternal side, exactly? That you want a baby, or that you want to protect people? Either is normal, but I was curious.

Oh, and I really dislike the sound of a baby crying. Uhh, I'm not much of a baby person in general, though. I've never even held one before.

Babies crying is fingernails-on-the-blackboard irritating to me. I can't stand it. As the others have said, materinal instincts vary enormously from person to person. What you are feeling is perfectly normal, as is what Kat Fink feels, and Ludi feels, and I feel.

Uhh, I'm not much of a baby person in general, though. I've never even held one before.

I tried that once.

I don't recommend it. I think I broke it because it started crying immediately.

:p

yeah, it's adjusting to fertility cycle and other stuff. read the book Garden of Fertility by Katie Singer--you'll be empowered and inspired.

I know just how you feel. I started feeling that way at about age 16/17 - everyone thought I was nuts. Not until my friends started to reach their mid twenties could they understand what I was talking about. Its an urge, a feeling thats quite overwhelming sometimes!!

Now my advice - just bury it away for now. It does NOT mean you should get pregnant now. I like to pretend it just means that you'll be nice and fertile when your time comes ;-) Wait till you go to college, find a responsible partner, and get married, before having a child, if at all possible. At least this is the plan that has worked for me. ;-) Its been a LONG wait (and the feelings never go away - they only get stronger!!) but SOOO worth it. All of my friends who had children young say that it was smart of me to wait, and for the life I've carved for myself, i have to agree. My husband and I are going to start trying for a family in the near future and I am very excited ;-)

So just to let you know. 1. you are not crazy but 2. don't act on those feelings, they aren't "signs" that you should procreate now, just a testament to your female architecture doing its thing! :-) Remember this: You have a lot of living to do before you bring new life into the world just yet!! Study, become financially independant, travel! :-) And THEN have kids and you'll be all the better teacher, provider and mother to them.

I like other people's kids. I enjoy playing with them for a little while, smiling at their cuteness, and then sending them back to their parents when they get tired and cranky. People sometimes say, "That Skylark, such a kid person." Perhaps, but I like them best when I'm not around them all the time. Being a mom someday will be an incredible feat of perserverence, if I end up adopting. When I feel maternal, it's just because I want to be around some kids, not because I want to have some of my own.

maybe, i dunno. It irritates the hell out of me (as do small dogs barking, cats meowing constantly, etc)

Maybe I just hate noise.

Hmmm... before you know it, I'm going to be sitting on the porch in my lawn chair yelling at the kids to get off my lawn. :p

Hey, I HAVE kids, dogs, cats... and noise still irritates me!!
I don't like noisy, barking dogs especially - to me it's the equivalent of a whiney, spoiled toddler who needs a nap - or some "guidance" in learning how to behave... my kids didn't whine much as toddlers, my dogs don't bark incessantly - they all know I can't stand it!

Oddly enough though - I still feel very maternal, and have for as long as I can remember... at my age maybe it's more of a "wanting to take care of everyone" sort of thing... but I would have another baby in a heartbeat, if by some chance it happened.

I think any maternal instincts I had towards humans sorta dissipated when my sister decided to change her son's diaper in the living room. She removed the soiled diaper and he immediately started peeing in an arc, right there in the living room, about 1/2 an inch away from me.

Uh, no thanks. I didn't want to produce something that did THAT. :p

But every individual is different. My maternal instincts (such as they were) didn't kick in until I was in my 20's.

I think your feeling is completely normal. I remember that when my sister was born ( I was 9) she was just this funny little person. But by the time I was 12, I very much has maternal feelings for her, wanting to provide for her, take care of her, nurture her, all of that. I am still mother/sister to my sister, which may or may not be healthy, but we have a pretty large age difference.

Elizabeth,
When I was 14-19 years old, all I could think about was having children and how much I wanted a big family. (I come from a big family - 6 kids, 39 first cousins.) As I got older, I was less interested in having children. Before I got married, my husband and I discussed it, and agreed we do not want to have any children. (I'm in my mid-20s now.)

I agree with earlier posts that this feeling probably has a lot to do with hormonal changes in your body. Your hormones are shouting that your body is ready for child-rearing.

But let's (please!) be realistic here. I really hope you don't plan on *acting* on this impulse in any way. Babies, especially, can be positively adorable, and you just want to hold them all the time and cuddle, etc. You can't imagine that there would ever be a problem with having a baby. But babies are not all fun and games. Some babies are sheer terror - not on purpose, of course, but because they may have special needs that can really wear on you (like not sleeping through the night until they're 18 months old). You have to be there for them 24/7.

I highly recommend that you get involved in baby-sitting, or hanging out with people who have babies (maybe a classmate or relative or something like that). I don't think you can make a reasonable decision about babies until you've had to get up with one 5 times a night, every night of the week, while you're trying to go to school or hold down a job.

Also, keep in mind that babies are only really 'babies' for a few months - then they become toddlers, then they become preschoolers, etc. I feel less and less 'maternal' around children that are older.

Maybe someday you will turn out to be a wonderful mother. In the meantime, you can try your skills at baby-sitting or just being good around kids. Also, I have heard, and I think that this is a good idea, that our bodies sometimes have an urge to 'create' - and we can fulfill that urge by baking, cooking, sewing, doing pottery, knitting, crocheting, even drawing in coloring books. That may be another avenue for you to explore, to help deal with your body's creative urges.

It's normal. When my little brother was born, I got maternal instantly. I wanted to constantly hold him, I cried on my first day of school after he was born because I didn't want to leave him, I fed him, I changed his diapers, etc. My case is odd because I was so young when all this happened (8) but yes, maternal instincts can kick in while you're still a teen.

Im 23 and I have very strong feelings of wanting a baby. I have for about a year now. I have been with my boyfriend since I was 19 and we have already bought a home, so sometimes I ak him "why not?" and I imagine how wonderful it would be to start a family. Then my logical side butts in and says "Finish college first!" Me and my boyfriend plan on getting married when Im done with school. But Ive always been so impatient. But I know how hard it would be to finish school if I had a baby, so I try my hardest to wait. Im hoping the feeling will let up a bit, but it definately is there. I want to make enough money and have a lifestyle that would be able to support my future children. And definately to be married. I dont know I always tell my boyfriend that if it doesnt work out I wont waste another five years trying to get to know someone well enough to have children and marry them, I would just get artificial insemination, and be a single mom...... do you think that would be wrong.... I guess thats another post, but anyway I just dont think I could wait much longer than 3 to 4 years to start a family.