Hey..

I am new to being a vegetarian. I recently decided against eating any red meat for my health and other reasons like for helping the environment and for animal rights too. Well I told people how I feel about red meat and nobody seems to respect my opinion. Instead it seems the more i refuse the more they offer or even beg me to eat it. My mom keeps complaining and so do my friends. Today I ate some pizza rolls with pepporoni and sausage (red meat) just because i was at my friends house and she wanted them and kept saying if you wont eat any too then I dont want to and she really wanted them. And she kept saying i should eat meat and kinda being rude to me about it. I felt since I was at her house i should not say what i wanted to eat it should be her choice so i ate them anyways just to be polite. I felt bad afterwards though for breaking my vow. For months now I been fighting this battle between my parents too who keep urging me to eat chicken or whatever. when i say no it just doesnt seem to be enough. What should i do about this? Also what can i do say if im at a friends house and her mom cooks dinner and hands me a plate with chicken and rice or something? I usually just eat it because i dont want to be rude.

Let me know if any one has advice and thanks

Okay, first you need to set rules for yourself. Decide what you will eat, and what you don't want to eat, and keep it clear in your head.

Next, work on how you tell people. You need to be ready with simple information, politely but firmly delivered. For example, you're with that friend, and she's begging you to eat pepperoni for some weird reason. Tell the friend that you don't want it. If she continues to be immature, tell her why you don't want it, and suggest a different food. If she insists that you're unhealthy, ask her what nutrients she thinks you're missing out on, and tell her where you get those nutrients. If she continues to whine, change the subject. She's trying to wear you down, but she can't do it if you don't stay on the subject.

For eating at other people's houses, tell the person who does the cooking well in advance that you don't eat meat, so they don't need to make a portion for you. Eat the sides, and keep note of nutrients you're not getting (protein, etc). You could add peanut butter on toast or beans, as most omni houses have these things, or go without. The occasional unbalanced meal doesn't hurt you, though it does set a bad image to omnis if you do it too much.

Stand by your beliefs. I know it's hard when friends are being whinny and annoying about it, but let them see that they can't move you on this issue.

Bring food if you go out, just in case they don't have anything for you.

i think that these two posters have great advice.

the main thing it so be clear, be educated, and be firm. once you know what you believe, once you know how to communicate it to others, and once you're certain of it and you can share that certainty with others, then you'll be fine.

dealing with parents is probably the toughest. i recommend getting the information from Vegan Outreach (http://www.veganoutreach.org) and going over it with your parents--particularly the health and nutritional information. since your diet is 'less extreme' than veganism, they'll probably be more accepting of it. If, after reading the materials you decide that veganism is right for you, then you'll be able to talk to your parents about how you're getting your nutrients and how to work as a family to support you (that is, how to design grocery shopping and family meals). Either way, it's an educated, mature approach.

There is also a great deal of information at the Vegetarian Society's Health Index (http://www.vegsoc.org/health/). This way, you have a variety of information about vegetarian nutrition and health-related materials. This helps to reassure parents that you are taking this seriously and making a mature, informed decision.

It will also give you the confidence to reject things that you don't want--like pepperoni and sausage pizza. You may decide that for a time, you're transitioning, and it's ok to eat meat when you feel it would be wrong or impolite to reject it, until you feel comfortable and confident enough with your choices to stand up for them completely.

it'll work out. Just start with knowledge and go from there. :)

It may be your friend's house, but it's your body.

There's no need to eat meat to "be polite". I mean, if you went to a friend's house and they decided to grill an infant up on the bar-b, would you join in the fun to "be polite"? Of course not. So why is it okay to do that to a cow or a pig? Or a chicken?

Be who you want to be, friends be damned. It can get lonely at times, but I'd rather be lonely and living by my beliefs than popular and empty inside. You'll make new friends with more similar beliefs and those of your friends who truly respect you will learn not to be dolts about your choices.

Being polite is always great, but as long as you tell the person in advance, you are being polite. If you were allergic to a particular spice or food that you knew was used a lot, nobody would think twice (okay, maybe a few mean people would...) if you said something before hand about it.

Getting people to cook one dish that is meat free shouldn't be too challenging. And the best way I found to stop being hassled about not eating meat? Stick with it. Don't give in, and just keep politely refusing. Eventually, after they see you haven't eaten meat in a certain amount of time, it gets old to them, and they realize their pleas are falling on deaf ears. There was a month where I was trying to be "more vegan". It was one of the hardest times to deal with other people's comments because they would be like, 'oh, you ate it at such and such time, what's once more?'.

Just keep telling people what you can eat (which is sometimes better then what you can't, because then you don't run into them feeling panicked because they don't know what to cook and you just wind up with dried iceberg lettuce), and being your charming polite self!

I have found that people take great liberties to comment on what you will and will not eat as vegetarian to the point where it's plain rude. I have found a simple, "I don't judge you, please don't judge me" works well when in the situation.

Also, try eating beforehand if you think it's going to be an issue :sunny:

Don't explain you reasons for avoiding meat. Just simply say, "No thanks, I don't eat meat." Say it as many times as necessary. Eventually they'll get bored and stop asking you. :)

They don't care why you eat don't eat meat. They only want to argue with you so you'll get frustrated and give in.

If your friend won't eat because you won't eat, then that's HER problem. It's not your problem. If she's hungry enough she'll eat.

first of all, don't eat meat because your friend guilts you into it. this is not a vegetarian issue, this sounds like more of a personal issue. maybe you feel a need to please your friends, i'm not exactly sure how to remedy that. i can only tell you that you are not being rude by saying "no thank you" when a friend offers you food. it would only be rude to require that your friend find you something else to eat if she didn't offer.

i agree with the person above me that you should argue your case with your friends. If someone is rude enough to tell you you need to eat meat when it's none of his or her buisness, he or she will not be quited by a powerful statistic, they're simply being rude. and the only way to make them stop is by refusing meat over and over again. eventually your friend will get the point. although it may take awhile with this particular friend because she has seen once before that her peer pressure has worked.

if someone made me feel that i needed to participate in activities that were against my moral code in order to be polite while in his or her home, i would ignore him or her.

when it comes to your parents however, you do owe them a little bit more. first decide what you won't eat, whether it's red meats or all meats. then do your research and discover what nutrients you'll need to replace and how you'll do that. then provide your parents with meals and foods you'll be eating to replace what you used to eat, and explain to them how you'll work at being healthy. if this doesn't work to assure them that you being vegetarian is okay, then i don't know what to tell you.

I suspect you may be still living at home? In any case, as a former anti-vegetarian (with a conversion experience similar to St Paul's on the road to Damascus... but it's a long story) I can and do sympathize with non-vegetarians who truly believe that you are harming yourself by adopting a vegetarian lifestyle, and who are genuinely concerned for you (your parents?). I suggest a book called "The Part-Time Vegetarian", written by two very qualified and respected dietitians -- Louise Lambert-Lagace and Louise Desaulniers, both members of the Order of Professional Dietitians of Canada and Quebec, (the first was even awarded the Order of Canada). This very well-researched book addresses all the dietary questions asked by non-vegetarians, and is very user friendly, approaching a vegetable-based diet from a health standpoint, with NO PREACHING, since this can really turn people off. It includes fast, simple, recipes and menus, as well as tables to compare the protein, iron and vitamin C content of various beans, legumes, soy products etc. I regularly give it to non-vegetarian friends who are trying to eat less meat, and they all rave about it. (The book is copyright 2003, Fitzhenry and Whiteside, 195 Allstate Parkway, Markham, Ontario, Canada L34 4T8, with the French-language edition copyright 2001 Les éditions de l'Homme)
Good luck, and stay healthy