As I've said in my other posts I'm relatively new to vegetarianism (this time), and exploring trying to be vegan IF I can manage to get past my cheese addiction. Have gone lacto/ovo a couple of times in the past, for about 2 years once and again for about 1 year before relapsing into my old beef-eating ways. (Never much cared for chicken and really don't like fish or pork, so beef was always my meat of choice).

Anyway, I'm doing just fine and dandy again being off the beef and off most dairy besides cheese, albeit doing it quietly. I live alone so I don't have someone else in the home to contend with being omni. However, my office is the typical eat-fest most of the time, and my best work-friend at the desk next to me is definitely food-centered... constantly eating, constantly talking about food, and pouncing on me the moment I come back to my desk from the cafeteria asking what I got. But I was going along just fine being "quietly" veg again for the last few weeks, until the 2nd time in 2 weeks that she surprised me with unplanned food (it was Chik-Fil-A chicken biscuits for breakfast, and both times I just ate one side of the biscuit and quietly slid the chicken part into the trash). I decided to casually mention the diet change, both so that she wouldn't waste money again on food I'd just trash, but also to see what she'd say. In fact, I toned it down... all I said was that I was THINKING about trying to eliminate meat from my diet, and ultimately that I'd like to get off dairy too to see if it would help my horrible sinus problems. Well, she was completely unsupportive. Said she thought that wasn't too smart.... that the key was "everything in moderation" but nothing "extreme" one way or the other. (Nevermind that she's morbidly obese and talking to me about moderation!). She said "look at all the problems these people who were on Atkins are having". I pointed out that that's the complete opposite of what I was talking about, but she insisted that her point was that Atkins was extreme just like vegetarianism was extreme, and neither was smart or healthy. I tried talking to her for a couple of minutes about the overwhelming evidence that a plant-based diet is healther, but I couldn't get her off the "I don't think you should do it" and "it's too extreme" and "how will you get your proper nutrients" and blah blah blah blah blah. :wall: I was starting to get mad so I just dropped it.

No point to this post, I guess, other than to rant about my disappointment in the fact that the first person I mention my choice to was unsupportive.

Thank goodness for my new VB friends!

Food is important to her, socially. When you voilated her social norm of meat, she felt threatened. I know it's hard dealing with people who can't and won't understand your dietary choices! I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: Why do meat-eaters think that they're "experts" on veg*nism when we're the ones with the plant-based diet and we're the ones who've actually done the research? :wall:

The best advice I can give you is to eat the healthiest lunches you can possibly put together (even if you have to bring them all from home), and present yourself as a positive role model for the veg*an lifestyle. Be confident about your diet, but don't preach. Don't allow her to make you feel guilty or angry. If she tries to bait you into responding negatively, don't allow it. Simply cut the conversation short (nicely) or change the subject (nicely). Don't let her make this about you or your diet. She's the one who can't deal with it.

:)

I know exactly how you feel. At the office where I work, someone will go out for lunch and bring back something for everyone. Our choices are always fast food...so of course, they always get cheeseburgers and such and everyday I get a side salad or garden salad, and I get so sick of being picked on for always eating salad!

This always worked with my parents: I am what I am, like it or not.

Simple and true . . .

The best advice I can give you is to eat the healthiest lunches you can possibly put together (even if you have to bring them all from home), and present yourself as a positive role model for the veg*an lifestyle. Be confident about your diet, but don't preach. Don't allow her to make you feel guilty or angry. If she tries to bait you into responding negatively, don't allow it. Simply cut the conversation short (nicely) or change the subject (nicely). Don't let her make this about you or your diet. She's the one who can't deal with it. :)
I thought about it over the weekend and this is exactly how I plan to deal with it. As far as the group's annual Christmas potluck, if they can accommodate one girl's gluten sensitivity, they can accommodate me... or I can just eat the dish I bring and be done with it.

I try to bring my lunches whenever I can, but sometimes I just don't have time to prepare anything. But for those days I don't, we have a cafeteria here that always has a salad bar, baked potatoes, and they even offer a veggie burger (albeit prepared on the same grill as the beef & chicken).

Brought my lunch today (Barilla Plus brand penne w/tomatoes, basil & garlic), but plan to sit here at my desk and read "Diet for A New America" as I eat it! :bow:

yes and also mabye read fast food nation while eating your healthy lunch as well . you need to be firm but polite. When i first went veggie it took my mom a year to stop asking me if i wanted some turkey . lol now shes supportive . What other people said are right - she felt threatened - as in what do you mean what im doing may be wrong - thats what shes thinking . Not due to anything you said of course just due to society and the diet she was raised with . mabye, one day if she calms down a bit show her the new veggie food pyramid. lol
good luck and stick to your guns . I know what its like to be a veggie with noone else close to me as a veggie. lucky for me i have a animal rights group at shcool where i can talk about veganism without wierd looks
Nikki

These people need to respect your choices. Bring your own lunch & then it shouldn't have to be their business what you're eating. Remind them that they are the ones that will have high cholesterol & heart disease & diabetes & obesity is an epidemic due to the crap people eat. We are the only country (US) that has such a problem w/ overconsumption.

I always noticed that I got more flak for saying that I was "thinking about" going vegetarian than I do when I say that I was a vegetarian.
I've worked in offices that aren't veggie friendly, and all I can tell you is to stick to your guns and always bring a healthy lunch. When it comes to office potlucks, I always bring something that I can eat (NOT a salad, I try to make it more substantial than that) so there's always one thing I can eat. If your company ever buys lunch for everyone, try to talk to your boss about your dietary needs before hand, they may be willing to accomidate you (I've only worked in one place that didn't).

my husband is an omni. he is a very healthy omnivore. this is his typical day of food:

breakfast: veggie frittata (eggs and cheese and veggies), orange, water, cup of coffee, and tablespoon of Cod Liver Oil.

snack: veggies (usually asparagus and peppers) and biodynamically raised chicken; 1 handful of nuts and an orange or other piece of fruit.

lunch: large salad with grilled chicken or sliced beef; fruit.

snack: veggies, bleu cheese and walnuts--basicly chilled veggie-cheese-nut salad

dinner: veggies, fruit, small potato, fish or chicken

snack: veggies, cheese, and nuts
----

he never, and i mean never, consumes junk food. he doesn't drink soda. he doesn't eat white flour products. he isn't 'pure' or 'extreme'--he just isn't interested in these things. it doesn't even come up on his radar of what he wants to eat.

day in and day out he works with very sick people. not al of them are overweight, but most everyone he works with has a cholesterol problem, diabetes, or some major health problem that can be managed through diet and exercise. He has this great diet and exercise. And he gets 'crap' all the time.

The woman who sits across from him is morbidly obese. she has chronic migraines, she has breathing problems, she has heart problems, she has digestive problems, and she has kidney problems--all related to her weight (which she confessed to us once). if the 'upper' parking lot is full, and she has to park in the lower--which requires a 5 minute uphill walk--she'll drive home and come back several hours later when people go to lunch so she can park in the upper lot. She'll do anything to avoid walking around the office because she gets foot pain from her weight.

every day she talks abouthow extreme my husband's diet is. His metabolism is fast, he gets 3,500 calories a day. he helped her set up food journal, which she kept for two weeks (online). she gave up when she learned that she consumed, on average, 3,500 to 4,000 calories a day. She assumed that her diet was healthy, normal, and balanced, but she 'just couldn't loose weight." but she never knew until she looked.

of course, this didn't change her. instead, she focused on my husband. She would pick on him. she'd talk about his food choices rudely to other coworkers. Once, when my husband refused the cake and ice cream from some upper-manager's birthday celebration, she made a big stink in front of everyone in the office (it's about 300people) about how he was 'trying to be so pure' and all of this. Ryan simply didn't want cake, as he'd just had his normal snack--and besides, he doesn't want cake.

So, it's not just vegetarianism, anything new or 'outside the norm' or 'outside the comfortable' is going to cause waves. that's just the way it is.

I always noticed that I got more flak for saying that I was "thinking about" going vegetarian than I do when I say that I was a vegetarian.
I can see where that could happen.... I just did it in this instance because she knew I hadn't been veg previously, and I suspected she wouldn't be supportive anyway so I chose to present it as something I was contemplating rather than something I'd been doing already for a few weeks. In this instance, I suspect that her reaction would have been much the same even if I'd said I'd already made the change. Besides, if I'd confessed I'd already been doing it for a few weeks, she would have undoubtedly thought of the instances in that timeframe that she'd brought me that chicken, and that probably would have made it worse.

Today she said "so, are you eating your veggie lunch?" with kind of a smarty-pants tone to her voice... I might be imagining some of her tone but I don't think so. I just said yes and it's YUMMY, thank you!

The woman who sits across from him is morbidly obese. she has chronic migraines, she has breathing problems, she has heart problems, she has digestive problems, and she has kidney problems--all related to her weight (which she confessed to us once). if the 'upper' parking lot is full, and she has to park in the lower--which requires a 5 minute uphill walk--she'll drive home and come back several hours later when people go to lunch so she can park in the upper lot. She'll do anything to avoid walking around the office because she gets foot pain from her weight.
Thanks, zoebird, for the story... I guess there's at least one in every crowd, huh? This woman I was talking about isn't quite that bad in that she doesn't complain about a litany of eating-related aches and pains... but she is obese. 5'2" and 300 lbs if she's an ounce. I get that she's probably never going to be real supportive, but we are friendly, and it hurts my feelings a bit. I'll just have to get over that! :)

At my second job (part-time weekends) however, there's a woman like the one at your husband's office who is constantly complaining about her gout, indigestion, gassyness, etc etc... and is so huge she's taken to riding one of those damn scooters around the office! She can't even get from her car to her desk. I don't have to talk to her nor deal with her though... but to see her go to the kitchen on that scooter and eat her huge fatty dinner and fill up her gallon drink container with soda is quite a sight. Sometimes when that job has meetings during our shift they will provide dinner for free... when it's burgers, she grabs ALL the extra burgers and takes them home. Gross.

it's actually quite sad. it's very likely that she, like the woman in my husband's office, is really suffering greatly either emotionally or in some other way. she may also be a food addict, and this is the toll that it's taking on her body. i find the whole thing really sad.

these people often feel judged by others. Often, they are for many reasons. This then becomes a part of their downward spiral of self esteem. What then comes out is a behavoir of 'punch first' when confronted with someone whom they would consider or think is judgemental.

because my husband eats healthy, even the guys in the office who consider themselves 'fit' make comments to him about how he's 'so strict' and 'has great will power' or just take pot shots at him. So, it's no surprise when his unhealthy cubicle neighbor feels the need to defend herself from her percieved ideas of his judgement.

truth is, he isn't judging her. he actually likes her and thinks that she's nice. Does he think that she's unhealthy? yes. but it's obvious that she is and she's admitted as much. Does he think that most of the office is unhealthy? yes, for a variety of reasons (including large, social-emotional reasons). Is he judging people, devaluing them? no, he isn't. He just eats what he eats. But those others take that judgement on themselves.

it's just one of those things. And vegetarians get a lot of it too. we do become 'health nuts' a bit. :)

I agree, it is sad... and who knows what's going on in these women's lives and psyches to keep them where they are.

Say you don't want to discuss it while your eating. She might forget to nag you about it if she has to wait until after you're done eating. She'll probably just start daydreaming about the next juicy corpse she'll be ingesting.

And.. 5'2" and 300 lbs? Damn. She probably won't be around for very much longer anyway.

keep your head up and be proud! they are just defensive because they know you have found a more enlightened way of life and its easier for them to be ignorant and not actually think about where their food comes from or what their lifestyle is doing to the world around them. we may be the minority but there are MILLIONS of us and more all the time so you are NOT alone my friend...hang in there!