It's all good VQ :cool: I apologize if I've made you feel bad somehow. Good luck with your boyfriend too.

Well has anyone ever been 21 years older than their boyfriend or girlfriend? Talk about issues! Hehehe!

Well to begin I can read my messages and if you can sit there and reply to them then you can to, see the point is that its all words and it doesnt need punctuation to be read and I know that just as all of you should. I never asked for advice I was just letting the person who originally posted that I was in a similar situation and it was all down hill from there. Your right when I feel like I need to be defensive I am quite defensive now if this were english class id worry about my periods and question marks buts it not so I am not worried sorry if that offends you and if it does just dont read it....
Oh and Thalia I can read both just fine thank you!

Actually, punctuation can change the meaning of a sentence..... if you're not interested in getting your message across clearly or being properly understood, that's your choice (an unfortunate one).

When you type like that it's like saying that none of us matter... that you're too important to bother with making a small effort.

It's inconsiderate.

Time to let this one go *I* think (suggest)....

No heinous crime has been commited... Its just a case of each to their own and thats it, [end of story].

I can see both sides to the arguement,
Icanseebothsidestothearguement.:D :D

I think that I deserve a break after a long day of correct typing and writing so I just free style it so I am sorry to say if it bothers you then dont read I dont expect anyone to go out of their way or normalness for me so I will not do it for anyone...I in no way shape or form belive I am better then anyone if anythign I think we are all equal and FertiVegork is right let it go already this is the last I have to say about my punctuation I hope all of you make the "mature" desicion and just drop it!! Thank You!

Former expert in gobbligoop, former Vegobbligork has spoken :)and so now has Godzilla :D Queen = Nice 1 ;) Make mine a Vanilla please!

So.... who will be the next person to run through the VB Advice Gauntlet? :D

I think they'll think twice, don't you?? ;)

Ok.... I'm going to brave it.


This really has to do with my ex boyfriend, not a current boyfriend (I don't have one anyway.) We were talking on AIM today, which we do every so often. Since the breakup, we hadn't talked about that at all. We would talk about other things, daily activities, etc. Granted, if I was going to talk to him, I wanted to clear the air at least a little, but he didn't follow suit when I would take the conversation in the direction of discussing issues like what we did wrong/right, how we liked being single, et al.

Today, we did talk about some of those issues. We got some of the air cleared, some of the stuff we'd been wondering about we got talked through....here's the catch. He asked what I talked about with some other friends, and I mentioned that with some people we talk about some philosophical issues like the problem of pain and suffering. He insisted on discussing that, and I complied. I didn't really want to talk about that stuff with him because I know the way he usually thinks, and I know that his thought patterns...are not all that similar to mine. So, I plodded through that conversation, hoping that soon he'd get tired of it and go eat dinner or something.

Then, he stopped what he was saying and said, "You know what? I feel like tonight for the first time we really connected." I, uh, didn't agree, but I didn't know what to say. Honestly, I find his version of philosophizing to be somewhat boring, plus, it's the same old stuff I heard too much of when we were together.

I really would like to be on speaking terms with him, but I don't want to be patronizing. I think he's ok as long as he doesn't attempt philosophy/theology. In the future, do I intentionally stay away from those kinds of topics, or something else?

Skylark I think one of the things this ex-boyfriend likes about you, is your intellect, and he believes (and it may be true) that your intellect is superior to his. He likes you "because you are smarter than him."

I think that by saying "we connected" about a particular conversation, what he really means is that he wants to have that kind of converstion again. I think he wants you talk to him on a higher intellectual level because it just makes him feel better, his relatively stupid responses notwithstanding. He's hoping the intellect will rub off. The fact that you see no signs of it rubbing off doesn't mean for sure that it isn't rubbing off. It probably isn't -- but it might a little without him giving much indication of it.

soilman,
As much as this may sound like ex-bashing, even when we were together I did notice a difference in our intellects. Sure, maybe he's simply "smart in a different way", and I think it's probably true that he can memorize every part of the human body in his nursing classes, and I don't think I could do that. In terms of logic and rational capacities... everyone puts him/herself on their own mental pedestal, so is it fair of me to think myself more naturally acclamated to some philosophical endeavours than he is?

Another thing he did last night bugged me, and I think this made me more upset. He asked me to describe my ideal man, and after some considerable hesitation, I said I'd list a few important qualities but that would be it. I was careful with my wording so that it wouldn't seem like I was harping on his negative qualities. Then he insisted on arguing each of the three issues I thought were important. I was upset because he'd asked for my opinion, and then that's not good enough so he tries to change it so that my picture of the ideal man looks more like him than I want it to?

I'm probably missing something key here in understanding what this guy was thinking. *sigh*

Skylark, I think he just desires to be with you more than you desire to be with him, and is using as much of his reasoning ability as he can, which seems a bit limited in this particular area, to keep the 2 of your from drifting apart. I think he doesn't really know how to keep your relationship continuing, and is grasping at straws, which obviously aren't working too well.

Soilman,
That explanation seems to fit with what I know of him.

I'm glad that you can still talk to your ex skylark.. my ex and I tried to be friends after our breakup only for me to have to stop seeing him as friends shortly after that. We had problems for the last 2 of 3 years we were together, and when I was finally sick of the same arguments over and over, we broke up. But after that every single time I saw him he would get totally apologetic, be totally charming and polite, and then if none of our other friends were around he would sweet talk me and try to get me back. He even broke down crying a few times, and even though I still wanted to be around him I had to tell him that we couldn't see eachother at all anymore.. so he could be forced to get on with his life. It was really hard to just cut it off like that.. as of breaking up with him wasn't hard enough, and I still miss talking to him an hanging out with him sometimes. :(

I would just try to keep the conversations as light as you can whenever you talk to him.. and if he gets going too much for you then you can (online or on the phone anyways) say you have to go make a call or that someone's at the door or something to get away from the conversation. Good luck!:)