So I've lived in NYC all my life. To be honest with you, I can't say that I've truly developed any real or lasting relationships as of yet. I have shells and thin strings of relationships, but really nothing much. The majority of my friends and the people I'm acquainted with irritate me - I go home after hanging out with them feeling terrible about myself and about them.

And I'm about to move across the US to Los Angeles. I'm changing coasts, zip codes, area codes, schools, etc. I don't plan on keeping in contact with anyone except my family. I don't really know many people out there - I know it'll be rough, but I'm really just jumping right in.

And I'm wondering if anyone's ever done the same - gone to a completely different place without any friends, family, etc. there - just business contacts. Because I'm afraid of making the same mistakes again. I'm afraid of destroying myself even further by initiating more false relationships. I'm afraid I won't be able to initiate any at all.

I'm really just whining/venting, I know. But if anyone has any tips/words of advice...

i've done just this a few times already, and ive come to realize that no matter where you go it is the same thing. moving away from issues resolves nothing. i just met more people that i didnt really like and wanted to get away from them. however, i have learned so much about myself and about my friends and other people. i learned that if i want anything to change i have to make it change. i have to put myself out there to meet new people. i learned to live for what i believe in and all the rest just follows. dont be fake to make friends because you wont want them anyway. i say all of this, but i find it really hard to make friends. and i still have many issues in my life. i feel like ive grown up so much over the years though and im finally starting to be "me".

I just moved from outside of NYC to Albany for school. All my family and friends are downstate. One of my friends from high school lives not too far away, and I had begun a friendship with someone else up here online (which has been quite pleasant ;)). Its weird. I wish I knew more people up here, but I figure once school REALLY starts (as opposed to my ONE summer class) it will be easier to meet people. I joined the co-op right away after I moved which at least gets me out of the house and talking to people!! Human contact rocks. I think if you have a job or school lined up for when you get there, you'll be fine. I'm learning to just throw myself into things. I plan on joining the SW organization on campus this fall... and anything else I can join.. to meet new people. Its been an interesting experience!! So many people have said to me "I have no idea how you just up and left everything you knew!! I would never be able to do it!" and want to know how I dealt with the whole thing, and I dunno, I just did. :P

I think the most important thing is not to let yourself get holed up in your apartment/house. Get out and do SOMETHING every day even if you have nothing to do. Otherwise you get a little wacky!!

Is all good :)

It's an entirely different social atmosphere from what I hear. (I have not been to NYC, but seem to get along with people from there somehow.)

You may actually thrive. I hope your move goes well. Keep your head up. I think you'll find some friendly people.


So I've lived in NYC all my life. To be honest with you, I can't say that I've truly developed any real or lasting relationships as of yet. I have shells and thin strings of relationships, but really nothing much. The majority of my friends and the people I'm acquainted with irritate me - I go home after hanging out with them feeling terrible about myself and about them.

And I'm about to move across the US to Los Angeles. I'm changing coasts, zip codes, area codes, schools, etc. I don't plan on keeping in contact with anyone except my family. I don't really know many people out there - I know it'll be rough, but I'm really just jumping right in.

And I'm wondering if anyone's ever done the same - gone to a completely different place without any friends, family, etc. there - just business contacts. Because I'm afraid of making the same mistakes again. I'm afraid of destroying myself even further by initiating more false relationships. I'm afraid I won't be able to initiate any at all.

I'm really just whining/venting, I know. But if anyone has any tips/words of advice...

I moved to my current city almost two years ago. I did so with no job lined up, no friends or contacts in the new city, and not even a place to live. One day I just packed my car, and drove away.

Although I consider that first year I spent here the hardest of my life, I also consider it to be the best decision I ever made.

I am slowly building a new life for myself. I am nowhere near where I want to be though. It can be incredibly hard to make meaningful friends in this type of situation. So many friendships are built upon social networks - eg, a friend of a friend becomes your best friend. Starting with nothing is hard, but it can also be very freeing, because how can you have less than nothing? What do you have left to lose?

it's good to want to start over but you can't run away from most problems. You talk about false relationships,false in what way? I think it can be fun and refreshing to move but if you are having diffculties with relationships you may find you need to make the change within yourself. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you. :hug:

You'll obviously have to get out and TRY to meet people. People won't just come to you. I think it's great that you're moving away and trying new things. Really... what do you have to lose? You don't like your friends now, so that's not much loss (from how it sounds) and if you are unhappy you can always move back with your family. I say go ahead, give it a try and good luck. :)

*clears throat*

She's moving to Santa Monica.

I live in Santa Monica.

Need I say more?

:sunny:



<--- warheart77's new best friend

I may not be much help - I've lived in the same state for 30+ years...I have never moved across the country before, and the idea scares the pee right outta me... but I did start both high-school and college not knowing a soul, and at the time, I managed to meet people and make lots of friends quite easily...

I'm still very close friends with some of those people.

I have no idea if this would be the case now that I'm *ahem* older, but I do know I like to get out of the house, and get busy, and do things... I think that would help in meeting new people...

I think you'll be fine. Take the advice given here. Stay active, don't hide out at home. Be open minded - your new best friend may be right under your nose. BE a friendly person - it attracts people to you... all easier said than done, I realize - but some ideas to work with anyway....

I'm moving to Berkeley, CA as a sociology grad student without knowing anyone there--scared ****less. OTOH, I think I have a house lined up with other sociologists in training.

ebola

I think that banana_popsicle has already stated my thoughts on your situation better than I could have.

I'm really just whining/venting, I know. But if anyone has any tips/words of advice...
I don't know how to find like-minded people, but I know how to be happy where I don't fit in. Keep your mind off of what "should" be, and accept what really is. You will probably find some pretty great things you never knew you wanted.

It will certainly be scary, but could be necessarily refreshing. I would LOVE to do something like that (except i'd be going to NYC, ahaa). If you feel that there's no other way for you to continue happily in your current living situation, and that you are committed to finding your place in Santa Monica, i say GO FOR IT! Don't regret that you didn't go through with this!

I recently moved from North Dakota to Arizona. I am so glad I did. I think in my case, I really needed a change in scenery. To be honest, cutting ties with people isn't always a bad thing. I got to meet new people, see a new place, experience something outside of what I am used to. I value that experience. I don't suggest leaving solely just to get away from problems though. Chances are that they will follow you.

i do think it is a good idea to move though. i guess i didnt say that in my other post. you learn so much. you might love it there...you might hate it there...but whatever, you will learn somthing about yourself in the process. i moved all the way across canada (east to west coast) a couple years ago, to work for 4 months, and i consider it my "new beginning". it's when i really started to change and figure out who i am. all i did the whole time i was there was work, get drunk and meet ppl i didnt like. but it was a learning experience.