today me and my mom went shoping, shes fairly nice about me not want to eat meat so shes willing to buy me food, she even eats the same thing I do most of the time, but sometimes adds meat to hers.
heres the problem, she don't understand why I don't want to eat meat she thinks the idea is "silly" she seems to get annoyed when I look at the ingredient lable searching for hidden animal parts, I'll be in the store shoping with her looking at the lable and she'll say that I can do that later and that its probley fine since its asian food, puts it in the cart and moves on, we get home I deside I want some instant curry noodles, I get them start looking on the lable and there it says "Anchovies " I go and tell her not to buy it again becuz it has fish in it, she says "can't you just eat it?" I try and tell her that I can't becuz..........she don't even let me get past the polite no, she don't understand at all. any advice about what I can do? shes not intrested in hearing me out she says "we've all heard it already from the hippies in the 60s and 70s" when I first desided to go vegetarian she even told me I was not aloud to talk about to anyone, that no one wanted to know and it would only start arguements. people still wondered why all of a sudden I stoped eating any and all kinds of animals so it soon got out anyway.

what can I do about her, who don't understand, and don't seem to want, but is just waiting for this "phase" to stop.

I've discovered that the best thing to do is just perservere and prove her wrong. My mom does not understand why I don't eat meat and she doesn't want to. The only thing left to do is just do what I think is right and not worry about what everyone around me thinks. You are your own person and you know what you want to do. :) I wish you lots of luck!

Maybe you should think up what you want to get before you go shopping, check the ingredients labels on the internet and stuff, that could stop her from doing that.

By the way, the "can't you just eat it" probably wasn't trying to be mean, parents just dont like wasting food.

Not wasting food you don't yet have? How does that work?

As Countess said, just keep on doing your best and eventually she'll come to realise it's not just a phase. As time goes on you'll get quicker at checking labels and you'll remember which brands were suitable and which weren't so it'll be less hassle for both of you.

I'm sure some others will have some more useful advice for you. I was very lucky in that my mom went veggie the same time I did (when I was 16) so I didn't get that hassle.

BTW, I love your avatar! Are they your rabbits?

Keep at it. Eventually you'll learn from experience what brands are vegetarian and your mother will realize if she wants you to eat something you have to check the label. It gets easier.

Yep, dig in your heals, she'll give in eventually...hippies from the 60's and 70's, funny, ok, she sounds pretty open-minded, as if vegetarianism was put to bed by 1980. Maybe if she feels she's undermining her relationship with you by being difficult she'll try to understand more.

tell her you "can" eat it, but you choose not to. have you told her why you went veg? maybe you should sit down to her and explain what brought on this change, and that it isn't a phase, and she would be a bit more accepting.

Keep at it. Eventually you'll learn from experience what brands are vegetarian and your mother will realize if she wants you to eat something you have to check the label. It gets easier.I agree. Trial and error for her and you will help you both figure out a new habit that works. Hang in there. It gets easier.

buy whole foods instead, and then you don't have to read as many labels.

but, perseverence is key.

tell her that you wish to take the time to read the ingredients. if it were not for her insistence to keep moving in the supermarket, you could avoid it.

If she says "You can do that later" when you're reading the ingredients, say "What? later? Wehn it's been paid for? And if it isn't OK, then what do we do with it?"

Shave your head as well, and start listening to old Cheech and Chong albums.

As a busy (but vegan) Mom, I can say that the whole "reading labels" thing is hard for me too... I do it because I'm very commited to this way of living. However, I can understand your Mom's frustration. Almost every time I go to the store I wish I could just rush through and grab things without reading...

Ask your Mom when a good time would be to go shopping with her and not be so rushed.
Find a time to talk to her about your needs when she isn't stressed with something else and when you can express yourself calmly and clearly with educated information to back up your "reasons". Read, read, read up on vegetarianism, your Mom will be impressed that you've researched and are not just doing something without thinking too much about it.
Just keeping respectful communication open with your Mom will help greatly - teens think they're misunderstood by their parents, and many times they are - but parents often feel just as frustrated because they feel thir teens don't understand THEM.

So, like the others said, find some brands or specific products that you have found to be "safe" and stick with those items. Your list of "safe" items will increase as you do research on the internet and as you read more labels.
Maybe make a deal with your Mom that you'll speed things up for her a bit, by only reading the labels for, like maybe three choices... buy all the rest of your food items for that trip as whole (or unpackaged) foods.
Maybe it's frustrating for your Mom that you eat instant or processed foods?
Maybe you've adopted other things as a "fad" and so she thinks this will be the same?
Maybe she doesn't think you can explain your eating choices well enough, so doesn't want you embarrassed by people asking nosey questions - and they will...

We Moms don't like wasting food - that's understandable, so work out a way you can still eat what you need, but show her you're making every effort to not waste foods. If you can't get a chance to read the label, don't buy it - or mention to your Mom IN THE STORE that if she's buying something you haven't read the label of, chances are you won't be able to eat it and you don't want it wasted.

You sound like you're very committed to making this work, be patient, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, and stand your ground in a respectful manner... you and your Mom will come to an understanding eventually.

Shave your head as well, and start listening to old Cheech and Chong albums.

Funny, but not constructive. :notvegan:

My mom and dad used to make fun of me and bother me too - it gets easier if you try to buy your own food, or help in cooking your own meals. If she sees it's fun for you, and that cooking is a quality-time activity you can do together, that's a postitive, pro-active approach.

My mom liked that I was trying to be healthier, she was trying to lose weight, and she liked the healthy veggie pasta I'd make for everyone. I also got a job as soon as I could, when I was 16, at a health food store, and that was awesome!

Not wasting food you don't yet have? How does that work?

She had the food, if you read it, the one with the achovies in it that she said she couldn't eat? :-/

"Funny, but not constructive."

I know, havin' some fun. Ultimately it'll blow over, just a battle of wills, parents don't like to see the kids deviating from the master plan every parent has, at least to some extent, of the life the kids should live.
Just ask her if she wants to discuss the reasons for being veggie with you.

BTW, I love your avatar! Are they your rabbits?

no their not mine, but the one on the left looks just like mine.

have you told her why you went veg? maybe you should sit down to her and explain what brought on this change,
I try but she don't want to hear it. I think she has the genreal idea behind it but she never lets me get far exspaning.

If she says "You can do that later" when you're reading the ingredients, say "What? later? Wehn it's been paid for? And if it isn't OK, then what do we do with it?"
thats true, thanks.

Shave your head as well, and start listening to old Cheech and Chong albums.
lol lmao

Find a time to talk to her about your needs when she isn't stressed with something else and when you can express yourself calmly and clearly with educated information to back up your "reasons".

my resons are not good enough, and no matter how respect I am she always takes me to be insulting her since she eats meat(she would not but she has health probs that make it impossible to be vegetarian) plus she just plan don't understand why someone would not eat meat, I try to tell her why I don't( they feel pain, panic and all other emotions humans do so being that they are not much different then I can't eat an animal anymore then I would a fellow human, plus the idea is gross becus there no differents between the two) she thinks Im telling her that shes wrong when all im trying to do is exsplan but she don't want to hear it.

Maybe it's frustrating for your Mom that you eat instant or processed foods
no, I ate stuff like top ramen and cupa soup before(fyi thats not all I eat), shes annoyed at how I wont eat anything that the animal had to die to get it. she sees nothing wroung if the packege says contains chicken broth or fish or something, I geuss she thinks that as long as the food is not wholely the animal and just a small part then iut should be ok, but to me its not.

Maybe she doesn't think you can explain your eating choices well enough, so doesn't want you embarrassed by people asking nosey questions - and they will
sometimes she answer those questions like "what do you eat? beans?" mom:"yeah thats just about it its a good thing she likes them." i eat more then JUST beans. but this one guy don't know that.


You sound like you're very committed to making this work, be patient, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, and stand your ground in a respectful manner... you and your Mom will come to an understanding eventually

yeah Im vary committed(in fact my mom may be wanting to committ me lol jk), unless by mistake I will never eat another animal the rest of my life. and I do try to stay respectful.

I don't know if it's really a good suggestion or not, but try asking her why she doesn't like you being veggie.

She'll either come out with it, hopefully giving yall a chance to talk, or she will say she has no problem with it, and continue this passive-aggressive behavior.

If she does come out with you, know you'll probably get a big long lecture, but at the same time, maybe once she's done pouring out her soul, you can finally tell her your reasons and why this is so important to you. These evasive maneuvers of hers must get old pretty quick.

Looks like you need to educate your mother on animal cruelty and our society's apathy towards it.

-Up until 1980, animal cruelty, at least in America, was overlooked.
-PETA owns shares of stock in the Outback Steakhouse, Applebee’s, McDonalds, and other fast food chains, just so they have a say in how these animals are treated, and to ensure that these animals are protected under the animal welfare act.
-In the early 80's the largest horse-slaughter operation in the United States, as well as the shut down of a military laboratory where animals were tortured and shot, which by the way, included cats and dogs.


The Woman to start a revolution-Ingrid Newkirk
http://ingridnewkirk.com/

Animal Cruelty is not acceptable in any form.

Fact: If everyone would cut their meat consumption in half, changes would definitely be visible, and billions of animals would be free of suffering.

Kicking, punching, strangling, bashing, and throwing objects at an animal before it's slaughtered should not be acceptable. In many cases, investigations may last several months, or even a couple years, to ensure evidence in courts will be viable.

Furthermore, the point of living a vegetarian/vegan lifestyle is not to subject one's self to be 100% cruelty free. It's impossible, and unrealistic. There are such things in life, which as humans, we cannot change. Animal fats and other ingredients are commonly used in things including tires, roads, and sometimes water is filtered through bone charcoal filters.... so in essence, animals will forever be exploited in some way. We are a network which works to eliminate as much animal abuse as possible.

I encourage your mother to take a look at some of these:

Vegan Outreach-Frequently Asked Questions
http://www.veganoutreach.org/starterpack/qa.html

Meet your meat
http://www.meetyourmeat.com/

Factory Farming
http://www.factoryfarming.com/

Leaping Bunny-National Anti-Vissection
http://www.leapingbunny.org/about_us.htm

Compassion Over Killing
http://www.cok.net/

Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine
http://www.pcrm.org/

How the Environment is affected
http://www.sierraclub.org/factoryfarms/

Peta's Factsheet
http://www.peta.org/mc/facts.asp



*No matter how anyone perceives cruelty...at what level.... animals are animals....they can feel pain, they are living just as we are....they communicate with other animals and it's been proven scientifically. The minute we start empathizing with animals is the moment we understand. Humans tend to feel superior to anything else.....and animals should not have to be subjected to this.

I've discovered that the best thing to do is just perservere and prove her wrong. My mom does not understand why I don't eat meat and she doesn't want to. The only thing left to do is just do what I think is right and not worry about what everyone around me thinks. You are your own person and you know what you want to do. :) I wish you lots of luck!

Ha. That's what I'm doing to my dad. :yes:

Hang in there she will understand one day