Okay here's the situation. To make a long and extremely complicated story short....i've become the other woman.

This boy and i aren't seeing each other or anything, but over the past few days, he's admitted that he liked me and i admitted that i liked him and we stayed up talking until 5 am.

We both agree that had circumstances been different, we probably would have gotten together months ago (because we're so similar and get along and yadda yadda).

But....I had been half-dating one of his good friends for a few months up until very recently...and he's currently dating one of my good friends.

And by good friends, i'm talking sorority/fraternity brothers and sisters. Not your average buddies. And not only that, but she was in my pledge class and he was in my old beau's. We used to hang out together as a foursome.

I never wanted to become the "other woman" and i value my friendship with this girl more than i value any relationship with a dumb boy.

This being said, nothing has happened between the boy and nothing will unless he's single, and even then...i'm not about to turn around and jump into his lap.

There's a lot more complication to this situation, but basically, i don't want to hurt my friend. But.....i do like this guy and i think that we could actually have a decent relationship (as opposed to the crap ones i've been having lately).


Does anyone have any advice, other than stay the heck away? Since i know that's what i should do...

Does anyone have any advice, other than stay the heck away? Since i know that's what i should do...
Nope...sounds like you already know.

Listen.
Dont be that girl.

Go be you,date whomever,be her friend and his friend.If he is single in the future,go for it...otherwise NO!!

And I say no for your sake.Any guy who cheats is a guy who will cheat and break your heart.So in the end,you hurt a girl,hurt your boy-friend...and get a 'cheater'.wow.

So wait and relax,if it was meant to be...just wait untill your both single.

I think it is a question of which is more important to you, her or him. Though of course, if you think it is him, you need to be honest with her. And if it is her, you need to be honest with him. Sneeking around is not just a disservice to her, but to yourself, as well. No one should gp through that; you should demand that if someone wants to be with you, that they ~be~ with you.

Sounds like you've already made your choice, and just want others to confirm it. Go with your gut instinct. You sound like someone who's head and heart are in the right place.

Thanks ya'll. I have been telling him that she is more important to me than he is. He broke up with her last night, since they had been having problems for a while.

I just hate the fact that i do like him....but this is how he operates. He goes out with someone for a long time, but just until someone better comes along. And even though i know this, i still think there could be something substantial between us.

Gah but you know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater. He's not really a physical cheater, but he wanders.

*sigh* It's times like these i just wish i were a lesbian.

I'm of the opinion be the other girl if you want. Just know what you're getting yourself into.

Once a cheater, always a cheater is a pile of crap, btw. Some people do cheat a lot, others don't. There is also a difference between the cheater who falls in love with someone else and the cheater who sleeps around because s/he is bored.

Thanks ya'll. I have been telling him that she is more important to me than he is. He broke up with her last night, since they had been having problems for a while.

I just hate the fact that i do like him....but this is how he operates. He goes out with someone for a long time, but just until someone better comes along. And even though i know this, i still think there could be something substantial between us.

Gah but you know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater. He's not really a physical cheater, but he wanders.

*sigh* It's times like these i just wish i were a lesbian.


hahaha! I was that girl in my first lesbian relationship. She never left him. Trust me, it's not any easier! acutally, you have less variety.

Do whatever you feel is right. You have to follow your heart in these situations. Just don't do anything you'll regret later. Or if you do something you know you'll regret, don't let yourself regret it. Being happy and having no regrets make for a great life. :)

there's nothing wrong with liking someone.

if he's broken up with her--for whatever reasons--then it's ok to go out with him, if you want to, and if he asks or wants you to.

but, i would be cautious on two fronts. First, make sure that he's really 'over' the last girlfriend. rebounds are generally unhealthy in a lot of ways. Second, make sure that it's ok with your friend if you do go out with him, and be sure to give her the right amount of time to get over the relationship too. So, i guess my advice in one and two boils down to one bit of advice: just wait until the break up is settled on both sides (meaning, the grief part is over) before you start going out with him.

if you're closer friends with her, you can listen to her clues about how she's feeling about him dating other people.

my sister was in this situation. her boyfriend seemed to have his eye on this other girl--a girl who was in my sister's co-ed frat, but wasn't particularly friends with my sister. My sister and her boyfriend broke up and it really insulted her that they started dating each other within the next week (actually, it was the very same day!). So, this could be very insulting to your friend as well.

otherwise, if everyone is single, i see no problem in going out. You didn't cause the break up, he didn't cheat on her with you--so there's no way that you're the 'other woman' or 'that girl.'