An aquaintance of mine died on Friday and I am wondering about sending flowers to the memorial.

Is it a waste of money? Is the money better spent donating to a charity or memorial fund?

When my mom died I remember looking at all the flowers and reading all the cards and being comforted by the tangible showing of love for her. Or was that just me?

Appreciate any thoughts....

When my dad died last summer, I appreciated both the flowers and donations equally. They both are great ways to show that you care.

But the things I treasure most were the notes people wrote. Not just a card, but a few lines about my dad--a memory someone had about him, or something my dad once said about me--something personal. Those are things that I will always remember, and always be grateful for.

Also, if you can possibly manage to go to the funeral, go and speak to the relatives. You might not think you have anything important to say, but it all means so much to them.

I think it depends on the person. I know if I was dead I'd prefer a donation to a charity, as I feel very strongly about that sort of thing. My family would support that also. But if your friend wasn't really in to that sort of thing, flowers might be better.

My mother says: If you didn't buy me flowers while I was alive, don't buy them when I'm dead.

But that's my mother, the angriest and most bitter woman on earth :lol:

If you're worried about "waste" of flowers, donate to a food bank, a university, a women's shelter, a parks fund, something that screams her name to you. Then, write a lovely note to the family expressing why you made that choice and perhaps a few lines about the difference she made on earth.