I need suggestions. My daughter and mom were in Michigan since 6/7 while my grandfather was dying, and for his funeral. She is 15, and there was nobody even close to her age. She was bored silly, but never complained. She showed compassion towards my grandfather that I didn't know she had. She helped my grandmother prepare for the funeral, and bought him a teddy bear w/her own money, so he wouldn't be lonely in the casket. She just got back on Saturday night. I would really like to do something nice for her, but have no idea what. She's 15, she's into goth and hip hop. Does anyone have any suggestions?

That was very nice of her. Sounds like she is pretty mature. :)

Hmmmm. How about movie tickets or a gift card to a place she likes to shop or eat? Or you could let her plan out a day for the both of you to do whatever she wants and spend some quality time alone with her.

That was very nice of her. Sounds like she is pretty mature. :)

Hmmmm. How about movie tickets or a gift card to a place she likes to shop or eat? Or you could let her plan out a day for the both of you to do whatever she wants and spend some quality time alone with her.

Spending time alone with me is like torture to her! :lol: She loves Hot Topic, but a gift certificate sounds too impersonal. She really came through for the family. It's gotta be really good.

Ring her best friend, and ask her what band she is just hanging out to see. Buy her tickets. Trust her and her friend to go and have a good time unsupervised. She's proved her maturity, why not show her you know?

Ring her best friend, and ask her what band she is just hanging out to see. Buy her tickets. Trust her and her friend to go and have a good time unsupervised. She's proved her maturity, why not show her you know?

me being a 15 year old that sounds great so i would go for it...music is a whole diff. way to show things... :rainbow:

oh wow ! it's awesome that she's so mature

is there a big concert/show coming up that she would wanna go to ?

btw goth & hip hop ?? that's crazy ! i've never met anyone who would be into both (except for myself but i'm also into a million more things so i don't count)

oh wow ! it's awesome that she's so mature

is there a big concert/show coming up that she would wanna go to ?

btw goth & hip hop ?? that's crazy ! i've never met anyone who would be into both (except for myself but i'm also into a million more things so i don't count)

There aren't many good shows coming to Houston. I'm thinking about taking her to all of the funky shops in Montrose where I live, and let her go nuts shopping, then taking her to a CD shop w/ all of the strangest music I've ever heard of, but she will love.

I felt like such an old fart last Saturday. My daughter met Travis Barker in the hotel we were staying in in Michigan, and I had no clue who he was. Man, I'm getting old.

Catgirl, I like the concert-ticket suggestion... but I just saw where you posted that there's not much like that around where you are... I think the shopping thing would be awesome as well... if you think she's going to think spending the day with you is "torture" (and I bet she'll love it even if she ACTS like it's torture) invite a friend to come too...

It's great that she showed how mature a 15 year old 'can' be... way to go!! :bobo:

Catgirl, I like the concert-ticket suggestion, and letting her go with a friend...

It's great that she showed how mature a 15 year old 'can' be... way to go!!

The only show that's coming that she would half way like is Green Day in August, but she probably won't like them.
I'm just so proud of her. :smitten:

Shopping spree!

at that age, a shopping spree is probably what she would enjoy the most. and i like the idea of the concert but maybe instead of a concert.. can you think of any other type of event where she could go with a friend unsupervised?

You can safely go to most amusement parks unsupervised. If you live in Ohio, go to Cedar Point. It's the best! :yes:

I know you probably won't like this one... but maybe reconsider letting her get her lip pierced professionally?

btw goth & hip hop ?? that's crazy !

That was my reaction... but hey....

Actually, if I were the daughter in that particular situation, I'd be really, really pleased with just some heartfelt thanks and a nice talk about how much my actions meant to the family.

I don't think I could enjoy a ticket to a concert or a shopping spree if I felt I was being rewarded for something I should be doing anyway.

But if you just randomly do something nice for her, then the above suggestions sound good. I just would avoid telling her, "I'm doing this for you because of what you did for your grandpa." That would just make me feel... icky for some reason.

Maybe I'm weird.

I agree. Do something nice for her but don't tell her why. She wasn't helping out to be rewarded, plus, knowing she did help out was a reward all on it's own. A special little reward or present never hurt anybody, though, for a good deed! Being a teen myself, the concert/shopping idea sounds good, and I'm sure she'd enjoy it (I know I would!)

Actually, if I were the daughter in that particular situation, I'd be really, really pleased with just some heartfelt thanks and a nice talk about how much my actions meant to the family.

I don't think I could enjoy a ticket to a concert or a shopping spree if I felt I was being rewarded for something I should be doing anyway.

But if you just randomly do something nice for her, then the above suggestions sound good. I just would avoid telling her, "I'm doing this for you because of what you did for your grandpa." That would just make me feel... icky for some reason.

Maybe I'm weird.

Right on :up: I've just been talking with one of our preschool teachers about helping her kids to do things via intrinsic motivation versus stickers, cookies, all that crap.

Agreed that it would be nice (and good manners on mom's part) to acknowledge her good behavior...she'll know that you were paying attention. But yeah, the gift would be cooler if it was given just because it was something you knew she would like, as opposed to a reward. :)

<<<adds her 3 cents. :D

Actually, if I were the daughter in that particular situation, I'd be really, really pleased with just some heartfelt thanks and a nice talk about how much my actions meant to the family.

I don't think I could enjoy a ticket to a concert or a shopping spree if I felt I was being rewarded for something I should be doing anyway.

But if you just randomly do something nice for her, then the above suggestions sound good. I just would avoid telling her, "I'm doing this for you because of what you did for your grandpa." That would just make me feel... icky for some reason.

Maybe I'm weird.
Mskedi, you're not weird. Well, we're all weird, but that's what makes us alike! He he.

I was gong to say something similar. At that age, I was almost literaly dying for any positive words/praise from my parents; To know that I had done something good, and not just be told when I screwed up. However, she already sounds way more mature and with it than what I did at that age. Blah.

For me at that age, just knowing that I had made my parents happy meant way more than a new shirt or a concert or anything like that.

Laura

Actually, if I were the daughter in that particular situation, I'd be really, really pleased with just some heartfelt thanks and a nice talk about how much my actions meant to the family.

I don't think I could enjoy a ticket to a concert or a shopping spree if I felt I was being rewarded for something I should be doing anyway.

But if you just randomly do something nice for her, then the above suggestions sound good. I just would avoid telling her, "I'm doing this for you because of what you did for your grandpa." That would just make me feel... icky for some reason.

Maybe I'm weird.
Mskedi, you're not weird. Well, we're all weird, but that's what makes us alike! He he.

I was gong to say something similar. At that age, I was almost literaly dying for any positive words/praise from my parents; To know that I had done something good, and not just be told when I screwed up. However, she already sounds way more mature and with it than what I did at that age. Blah.

Even at 18, I didn't get a, "Thanks for missing some classes and rearranging your schedule to come to your grandfather's funeral." It was more or less expected of me. Of course it was, but a thank you would have been nice.

For me at that age, just knowing that I had made my parents happy meant way more than a new shirt or a concert or anything like that.

Laura

I don't think I could enjoy a ticket to a concert or a shopping spree if I felt I was being rewarded for something I should be doing anyway.


I agree w/ you here. She should be respectful of her family, especially a dying member. She's back to being disrespectful again. I think I'll just thank her for being good to her great grampa. Like Mskedi said, she should do that anyway.