Here we go again...

What's your take on office romances?

My boyfriend and I used to work together and we met at our job. We first tried to keep it a secret, but then everyone knew about it. Boy, can people talk. I really don't have a problem with it as long as it's not against company policy or interferes with your work. Also, as long as you don't mind people talking. :rolleyes:

I did that once years ago . . . dating wasn't the problem and it was a large company. The problem was when we broke up. I dreaded taking the elevator (he was on a different floor) because I didn't want to run into him!

I did that once years ago . . . dating wasn't the problem and it was a large company. The problem was when we broke up. I dreaded taking the elevator (he was on a different floor) because I didn't want to run into him!

Exactly! It's the ending that is usually the problem.

My motto: Don't fish in the company pond! :D

Exactly! Currently there's an office romance going on with two of my co-workers and for some reason there trying to keep it a secret... from me. Seriously, just from me. I have NO idea why - I'm totally not interested in the guy and I really don't think its that a big of a deal. I kinda think they're hiding it from me because they know I'm christian, but what do they think I'll do? Throw holy water on them?! sheesh! Plus, I'm quite reserved and quiet - not like the obnoxious/beat-the-bible-over-your-head types so, this is so lame. Just because everyone knows (except me, or so they think).

Excuse the rant. So yeah, my take is that its ok, so long as it doesn't interfere with work and like Kimberly said, so long as you don't mind ppl talking (cause they seem to do that a lot).

I never used to like "rules" like that when I was younger. I figured, if your heart takes you there, good enough.

Boy did I get burned. There is a reason that "rules" exist, and that's because it can be a complete disaster. I am sure there are exceptions and I suppose you could take a chance...But wouldn't it be better just to have a flirty workfriend, if that?

I've dated co-workers several times. It's turned out okay, I suppose. The first was a disaster and I hated to see him and his new girlfriend around the office (terrible!!); the second was an on/off fling and we parted and worked together amicably; the last wasn't over until after he left the office--then we stopped seeing each other, he's since gotten married, and now he's BACK! It's only the first week of working together again, and people keep introducing us to each other; it's kind of hilarious! We'll see if it stays that way.

It's difficult to meet people as you get older. And work could be a good place, but you have to realize that if the relationship goes sour, it could be awkward.

My husband and I worked together in the military ; we were dating, then engaged (we didn't meet there, though). The higher ups knew (as they met me as his date before I joined up), but none of the people in my training classes knew. In fact, they would hear the higher ups ask about our wedding, when it was, etc, etc and I would say something, then Cory would say something, etc. People knew me and him were getting married - but didn't realize to each other. When I came back and they started calling me BB (I hypen'ed my name and the initials were BB) did people figure it out.

My current bf and I met at work and we dated towards the end before I left. No one knew. Funny, though, there was a rumour about us BEFORE we were dating which ended up causing us to start dating. I killed the rumour when I said, "yes, we are having an affair here at work. He does me on his desk every day at 11am." Apparently rumours aren't fun when people go along with them :)

I don't approve of office dating. I think it leads to messiness in the long run.

There have never been enough people at the places I work for this to even be an option. The whole situation just seems like it would have the potential to get very awkward. Never done it and I doubt I ever will.

it really depends upon how honorable one can be toward the end of the relationship. if people can be honorable, then there's less discomfort in having to work together. if it isn't honorable, then there's more discomfort in having to work together.

so, it really depends upon the individuals, doesn't it?

it really depends upon how honorable one can be toward the end of the relationship. if people can be honorable, then there's less discomfort in having to work together. if it isn't honorable, then there's more discomfort in having to work together.

so, it really depends upon the individuals, doesn't it?

I agree with this in theory but not in practice. There's no way to know if the other person will be honorable after the fact. Even seemingly mature, responsible, kind individuals can and sometimes do turn irrational after a romantic ending. So while it certainly can end well depending on the parties, you won't know for certain going into the situation. Unless, of course, you are blessed with psychic abilities. :p

So my opinion is that you should weigh how much the potential relationship means to you vs. staying with your current job. If things go wrong you may need to leave/be forced to leave, are you willing to risk it?

I have such a pathological fear of getting served with a sex harassment suit that I could never do it, personally. If others want to try it out, that's fine with me.

I dated someone at work when I was a teenager. It was a nasty breakup. Ugh.

But he was psycho, and the place probably only had about 25 employees, so I don't think avoiding dating at work would be necessary now since teachers can easily keep to themselves and there's a ton of us. Of course, I have a boyfriend who I don't work with, so it's a moot point.

actually, i firmly believe that even immature individuals can act with honor if they conscienciously try to do so. so, i'm not talking about a 'foreseeable break up' but rather that when you, as a couple, begin to realize that the process of breaking off is starting, that you consciously decide to behave with dignity and honor, and that through communication and clearly maintaining one's own honor, the break up can be amicable.

one of my friends is so great at breaking up, that he's good friends with *all* of his ex-girlfriends. some of them he's worked with after the break up, and some of them he hasn't. But, his parties are always 80% girls because he invites all of his exgirlfriends, his friends (most are female), and the guy friends that he has (and they bring their girlfriends/wives). It's kinda funny.

but, i wouldn't necessarily say that my friend is the 'most mature' guy overall--he is mature in a lot of ways, but not in others--but he always acts honorably when breaking up, and that's how he's able to retain friends. Even if *she* doesn't behave honorably, he does, so that after a certain amount of 'chill time' between breaking up and seeing each other again, they're able to be friends because she knows that he treated her with honor.

so, that's what i'm talking about.

it doesn't just work 'in theory.' it works in reality, if people are dedicated to striving for right action.

I don't have a huge problem with it assuming neither party reports to the other but it is kinda asking for it.

I dated my current boss a few times. Not a big deal. . Hell, we're still on and off. But we always keep it separate from work. Oh hell, who am I kidding? No we dont. No one at the office cares. It's not like we can be fired for it. He's the president/owner of the company, and I'm the Vice. They thought we were dating even before we were. He's one of my best friends (when I'm actually talking to him). Of course, after I graduate from college and secure a damn good legal job I'm leaving his ass flat without a VP, but that's a whole other story. Office dating can be ugly if you break up or you bring everyone into it. In our case, we don't care. Awww. I remember the time we had a small tiff in the presence of a couple contract workers about why I wasn't going to make him a sandwich because I wasnt his maid. *sigh* The memories. Anyhoo, unless you're prepared to have everyone in your business or you're prepared to keep things quiet between you two, or be prepared to have an ugly breakup that the whole company will know about, don't do it. But if you can handle that, go for it.

I met my husband at work. We actually got set up by a supervisor--she just mentioned to me one day that he was interested, and then told him the same thing, that I was interested. That got us both thinking. We've been married 2 and a half years now. We work for a big company and have to go out of our way to see each other at work, so it works out well for us. It did amaze me, though, how quickly things spread that we were dating. People we didn't even really know knew about it. The funniest thing was, a few weeks after we started dating, we were having lunch. At this same restaurant was another couple from work, who were both in supervisory positions. They saw us having lunch, got back to work, split up and talked to each of our bosses about it. Apparently they thought John was already married and they were trying to bust us!

My boyfriend and I used to work together and we met at our job. We first tried to keep it a secret, but then everyone knew about it. Boy, can people talk. I really don't have a problem with it as long as it's not against company policy or interferes with your work. Also, as long as you don't mind people talking. :rolleyes:

It was the same story with my boyfriend and I basically. I don't work there anymore and it was only part time jobs we had, so it wasn't exactly your textbook 'office romance' :kiss:

People do talk and make a lot of drama when they know people are dating inside the work place. My last workplace was like that, there were several people dating and there was always a lot of talk surrounding that. My current boyfriend and I both worked there - I at first told him that I wouldn't date coworkers. Well, after we started dating, we decided we would keep it secret, and made great effort to do that and act platonic with each other at work.

It worked out great: We started dating in February, and when we gave our 2 weeks notice 3 weeks ago, no one knew. It ruled out a lot of judgemental-ism and stupidity. So I would say just make sure that you really really want to date that person, and that they are mature enough to not make work life completely miserable if you guys happen to break up.