I've been with my boyfriend for two months and I do love him. But the way it was said for the first time was pretty bad.. alcohol was involved and it was just not the optimal situation for it to be said. But the topic was brought up and we just decided if you mean it.. it should just be said.. not having to wait for the perfect moment.

My question for everyone is how long did you wait? and when it was first said was it a special situation or not?

I've been with my boyfriend for two months and I do love him. But the way it was said for the first time was pretty bad.. alcohol was involved and it was just not the optimal situation for it to be said. But the topic was brought up and we just decided if you mean it.. it should just be said.. not having to wait for the perfect moment.

My question for everyone is how long did you wait? and when it was first said was it a special situation or not?

Heh. Deadhead, if alcohol being involved meant that relationships and love were discounted outright the species would show no hope for survival.

That being said, if you're not comfortable with how it all played out, and the lines of communication between yourself and your b.f. are open, you can kind of have a "do-over" where maybe your minds are a little clearer and you can get more into the specifics of how you feel and your collective intentions. I agree that if you feel something strongly it is worth communicating.

However, the L word means different things to different people. Some people find it very...maybe TOO...easy to say, and what leaves their mouth with the weight of a Tic-Tac comes in other person's ear like a Volkswagen. Some people should probably say it, because they mean it, but can't express themselves easily so it sticks inside them somewhere.

I'd be more inclined not to worry too much about the words themselves and focus on your actions as partners and how you feel when you are together. While the words themselves are meaningful, in the long run talk is cheap.

i didn't wait for a special moment, after about a month and a half of seeing my boyfriend i just watched him do something in the living room and i said " you know, i think i'm starting to fall inlove with you", he was shocked so he waited silently for something and then he asked me out :lol: and i said something like "finally" :wall:
but hey, that's the way that worked out, we've been together and in love for over 3 years now and to this day he still says that i tricked him into asking me out.
:D

In a new relationship myself, and I'm not sure about whether I feel "love" or just profound infatuation...

Not about to say the words anytime soon...

We said it after a month? Well, a month minus a day. Not a "special" moment persay. Just hanging around at his house. I wouldn't have changed a thing though.

It was a weird evolution for me. My boyfriend-at-the-time started saying "I love you" after a month. I totally wasn't ready for that. When I said it, I wanted to mean it, and not in a "I love you" as a friend sorta way. I know that it hurt him at first that I wasn't able to say it back, but he understood my reasons. When I did, it was the spanish version, "te quiero" which is a milder version of I love you - the kind you say to family as well. (he is puerto rican.) I wanted to save "te amo" for when I really, really meant it. And when I did, it was all the more special (I think it took me 3 months of dating, so 7 months of knowing him before I said it... could have been longer... thats too long ago to remember. We say it every day now anyway ;-) )

My boyfriend said it after a few days, and I was pretty shocked. We say it now (year and a half later) and I feel like it means so much more than it did in the early days.

I do understand your feelings deadhead that you wanted it to be special. I sometimes feel the same way in my relationship, but I think the most important thing is that it was said.

Some people find it very...maybe TOO...easy to say, and what leaves their mouth with the weight of a Tic-Tac comes in other person's ear like a Volkswagen.
Fabulous analogy! I love it!

My fiance and I said "I love you" before we were even a couple--just when we were really close friends. But I do remember the first time he said it without me saying it first. It wasn't a particularly "special" situation, but it sure felt special to me. :smitten:

I haven't said it to anyone in years, even though at one point I was actually in a relationship with someone I loved, and I have no particular intent to ever say it again. (see siggy)

I haven't said it to anyone in years, even though at one point I was actually in a relationship with someone I loved, and I have no particular intent to ever say it again.
Rabid - I could have written this six months ago! I so understand where you're coming from!!

Careful though - falling deeply, madly, totally in love can sneak up on you when you are absolutely not expecting or intending it to ever happen again...

Although he said it first, I had been thinking it for a bit already...let me tell you - it totally rocked my world... Still does every time I think about it...

bztsuma, I really loved your story....there was something very sweet about that, and I think it would definitely take that long for me...of actively dating someone to be able to say that to them. Those words are a big deal.

B

With my first bf, we didn't say the L word until 4 or 5 months of dating. We had also been good friends for the past year or so. I haven't said it to anyone since since it's just something I take really seriously, don't like to say it unless I absolutely mean it. If a guy said it to me in 4 months or less, I would either not believe him, freak out, or dump him (or all three). I don't trust men who say it too fast. That is just me, though.

After 2 months with my (on and off) current one he stuck his toung out at me saying that means sonething. A few days after he started to do that he said that means I love you. He was scared to say it. What a cute memorie!

I'd rather say it and be insincere than truly love someone and not be able to say it. Don't ask me what that even means.

I'd rather say it and be insincere than truly love someone and not be able to say it. Don't ask me what that even means.
thats a scary thought..

"I love you", hugs, and kisses often just creep out of me suddenly.... I just become overwhelmed in the depth of my feelings and it is there.... The last time I told someone I loved them for the first time, it just came out of me. I had no idea it was going to happen.... It was like the beginning of a rollercoaster ride when you had no idea you were on the rollercoaster... This one is taking such good care of me, and that's exactly what I need. I've been hurt so much, and each day she confirms again and again that those words have meaning.

bztsuma, I really loved your story....there was something very sweet about that, and I think it would definitely take that long for me...of actively dating someone to be able to say that to them. Those words are a big deal.

B

:o Thanks Bethanie! You're right, the words ARE important, I totally agree. :-) Trust me, it was well worth the wait. It means so much more when you both know its true :-)

My b/f and I were dating for about 4 months before it was said. We were both feeling it, but we weren't "official" at the time so neither one wanted to admit to it, lol. We were having.... er, um.... a "special situation", LOL :naughty: and I just couldn't hold it in anymore. The last 2 or 3 times before I said it I couldn't even look him in the eyes because my feelings were so intense that I thought I was going to explode! Finally I said it and then he said it and it was like a huge weight had been lifted off of our shoulders. We couldn't deny it any longer. :love: I'm glad we waited so long b/c everything worked out perfect. :)

DH and I were walking down the main pedestrian street in heidelberg and stopped at a fountain to chat and kiss and chat etc... I leaned up against the fountain and he stood back and looked at me and said "I'm falling in love with you"... I was so shocked that I just stood there overwhelmed with emotions... then I realized he was freaking out because I was speechless - so then I told him that I was madly in love with him and was just afraid to tell him.

This was about 3 weeks after we met. :smitten: We both fell fast and hard and are still like newlyweds nearly 10 years later. Gack, I know. :p But seriously. I love being mushy with him. :smitten:

telling someone that you love them is a huge step. i wouldn't say it lightly. i think i'm immune to falling in love. i'd be happy to live alone and rotate my relationships till i'm eating applesauce.

For me, saying "I love you" was a huge step. I hadn't said it (and really meant it) for a long time, if ever. My fella told me early in our relationship that he loved me, but it was hard to trust for a number of reasons. I believe him now, as much as I can.

I didn't say it for a very long time, and he used to get a little frustrated with me, I think. But when I finally felt safe enough, and that it was *right* - I told him that I loved him. It's still scares me to say it (I have some funky trust issues going on), but I do - and I think that because I waited so long, and he knows it's difficult for me - that it means more to him because he knows I'm not taking it lightly.

My husband kept saying "you have me falling really hard" kept scaring me!then after a night of fun we were *in bed* and *I* said I love you. I've never said those words to anyone ever aside from family. Now we joke that I broke the 3 rules. Never while intoxicated (Iwas buzzed but the next morning made sure he understood that wasnt the cause other than giving me 'liquid courage'), Never during sex, and never say it first. I broke all 3 rules :o

Hopefully one says it before sex.

:smitten: We both fell fast and hard and are still like newlyweds nearly 10 years later. Gack, I know. :p But seriously. I love being mushy with him. :smitten:

OregonAmy - How SWEET!! I LOVE this!!
I certainly hope (for me) that the 'newness' and 'mushyness' hasn't worn off after ten years....

After almost a year long friendship, I started a relationship with the person who is now my husband. I wouldn't change a thing about the way events, including saying "I love you"s, unfolded. Some people demand marraige before sex, some I love you, and some don't even catch eachothers name. The right choice is subjective.