After what happened with my previous boyfriend and now with what I am about to share with you all makes me wonder if everyone at my job just uses it as their own personal dating service. :rolleyes:

Anywho, I am in a predicament. There is this guy at my job who I have talked to on a fairly regular basis at work. He hugged me a lot and we did a little flirting. Nothing too intense. He has a fairly recent girlfriend who happens to be 3 or 4 years younger than him (he's 21). For the last few days though, he's been saying things to me such as "you need to be with someone who gets how amazing you are", "we're going to get married one day. One day I am just going to ask you out", "If I didn't have a girlfriend, I would seriously consider going out with you", "you are the coolest person who works here", "you have the best personality" and my favorite, "you're beautiful"...which he has been saying to me very often lately. And he's not joking! He is extremely serious. He spends all of his free time with me at work. And I like him a lot, too. I have not reciprocated his compliments, but he really loves and respects honesty, so next time I see him I may tell him how incredible I think he is.

I enjoy the compliments and I really do like him a lot. We are the same intellectually, but sometimes I wonder that if we did go out, there would be a lot of problems. He is in a death metal band and I can barely spell death metal. Never listened to it. He drinks and parties, which I never do. We are very different like that. But, there is this exciting and deep chemistry between us that both of us feel.

But, he has a girlfriend. And even if he broke up with her for me, how do I know he wouldn't turn around and do the exact same thing to me?

Also, how do I stop myself from wanting a guy who is already taken? :confused:

I'd like to say that you should be wary of people who act like that when they're with someone, but I'd be a hypocrite. :sweat:

I think you need to have A Talk with this guy. How long has this been going on for?

The flirting and such WAS casual until about a week or so ago. Then it started getting more...intense.

we're going to get married one day

If I didn't have a girlfriend, I would seriously consider going out with you

If the guy has said both of those things to you in the last few days he's a loser. Period.

But, he has a girlfriend. And even if he broke up with her for me, how do I know he wouldn't turn around and do the exact same thing to me?


You won't ever know. Simple. And chances are, at his age (and it happens when they are older, too!), he will do the exact same thing with you.

And how much can he appreciate honesty when he must be excluding some big truths from his girlfriend?

Anyway, it's not that easy to find that special connection to someone, so I say go for it if you are willing to realise that men who start relationships while in relationships with someone else, usually do it again. Somehow, however, they always convince the woman that "this one time is special."

I am so sick of relationship bull%&*#. Why can't I just find my soulmate right now and save myself a lot of wasted time and thought? I think I am just going to let this fade away and forget about it. I just don't like not acting on my feelings because then I am faced with the dreaded "what if". Usually thinking about what "could have been" ends up taking more of a toll on me than a bad relationship. But, if it is meant to be, I guess I won't have to push it. It will just happen by itself.

Bodhisattva, have you ever heard someone say... "I didn't see all the warning sings"... I promise you one thing... even if this did work out... and you both hooked up... would you ever trust him fully (knowing very well what he is doing behind his current girlfriends back)?

The writing is not on the wall... its in the sky... Trust me, at one time his current girlfriend probably never though he would act this way with others as well...