My boyfriend and I are now living together and while he is at work I spend my days off trying to fix up our home. Currently we reside in an older trailer on some acerage...it's structurally sound, but it needs a LOT of work. My parents and family are all stiffly polite about the place when they visit...but I can tell they don't approve, and I hate living in a place I am a bit embarrassed of and don't want my child to be ashamed of their home. So as a response to this we began renovations and the place is looking WAY better and I see a glimmer of hope....I am a clean freak so I have been cleaning the place like mad, painting, sanding, etc...etc...

The problem.....my boyfriend INSISTS that his rottweiler which is HUGE and his medium sized dog prance around the house restriction free regardless of how dirty they may be, and the fact that they destroy EVERYTHING and make everything smell like dog. Since I have moved in here is a list of the nuisances....

I go out and spend a couple hundred on a duvet cover and nice enw sheets for our bed.
What happened?
I arrive home to see the duvet ripped to shreds and two dirty dogs sleeping in our bed.

My boyfriend goes out and buys a new couch.
What happened?
The same day it is chewed to shreds.

My boyfriend forgets to take the garbage out.
What happened?
Garbage is strewn all over staining various objects and ruining the freshly mopped floor.

The dogs come in after eating grass.
What happened?
There is dog hurl all over the place.

I paint all the doors.....
There's a HOLE chewed and scratched though it...(Yes! it is possible)
I buy a new pair of shoes...
They get chewed.
He buys a new car...
They scratch the paint job.
I make us a nice meal....
I turn my back and the big dumb one sticks his nose in my food.

Today I broke down.....I am so tired of cleaning the floors every day, going to bed in a bed that smells like dog and is covered in hair because "they were here first and they were raised to cuddle, you can't deny them their cuddle time in bed." Everything I put on is constantly soiled by their paws hopping onto me. After a long day at work I can't ahve a meal without begging and having them stare at me endlessly. On hot days I enter the home to smell the scent of big dog that is obsorbed into everything and I have to deal with the embarrassment of such things when company arrives.

It's summer...it's hot out, they have six acres to run around on and dog houses for shade...but yet, they "have" to come in and make my pregnancy that much more stressful. I contantly have to find ways of protecting every item that we own...

I am completely on the edge, I can't live like this, I just can't....and he won't listen, he sticks up for the DOGS! so far (according to my estimates) they have cost us approximately $3000 in damages (this price goes up every day) all because he wants them in the house. I work my ass off to constantly clean up after them, repair items, replace items, and when I want to go sit down on the couch and relax...the couch is covered by the dogs....so I have no place to sit, because if I move them them will simply hop ONTO me crowded me and my unborn child.

Yesterday after I had to clean up dog puke, wash my bedding (as I have to do every second day to get rid of the hair, stench, and dirt) pick up the garbage that was strewn over the lawn, change my clothes (as they like to run up to me as I leave my car and knock me over (they actually knock me over as they are large, and I am not) and step all over my clothing and bark like mad to ensure that I feel stressed to the max) After all of this I stopped for a second, because I felt a pain in my stomach, I sat down (on my couch that reeks like dog and is chewed and covered in hair) and the pain went away after a few moments, but I felt scared because I was beginning to wonder if I was going to miscarry. It sounds extreme but every day they stress me to the point of tears, and he thinks I'm just being "mean....."

Just a note....as I am typing he has the dog on the bedding I just washed and is placing the blanket over her and sweet talking her telling her "relax...go to sleep sweety." If the dog's head is on my pillow I am afraid I won't be able to control my rage....

When they're done I'm taking off the nice new sheets (which now have a stain) and replacing them with the ones that are worn out with holes which are mis-matched and were thrown into the garage for rags. What's the point in having anything nice anymore.....

Well, as a pet person, I'd say "bye and my lawyer will contact you about the custody agreement." However, it sounds like a lot more is going on here then just the dogs.

Some things to ask yourself:

Did you always know he had the dog and that the dog was inside? Did it bother you before? Are you just stressed b/c it's hot and you're pregnant and uncomfortable and he's being an asshat? Are you being an asshat? Is it really dirty and smelly by other people's standards, or just yours as a clean freak? Are you in over your head in a relationship with a baby on the way, looking at this man, and thinking "good god, this is my future" and are having a panic attack? Why are you ashamed of where you live? Do you have communication issues with everything or just the dogs?

Some may apply, some may not. But they are some good things to think about.

I agree with everything that FreshTart said. Also, though, it sounds like the dogs would be fine if he just got them some obedience training. You can't let a dog do whatever it feels like doing - there needs to be limits and your boyfriend isn't setting them.

I've had some obedience issues with my large dog and people would get annoyed with him. But I've nipped them in the bud, so to speak.

Rottweilers make wonderful family dogs. It's a big change for everyone in that home. I'm sure your boyfriend is having a hard time adjusting, too.

I am a pet owner but agree with you HG. As a fellow "clean freak" that would be a no go in my house. Especially with a baby crawling on the floor.

May I suggest you have a sit down, unemotional, matter of fact discussion when you are both not tired and in a good mood. I am sure he loves his dogs so maybe he and you can both agree to dog training school, which is much cheaper then the damage caused by naughty dogs. Or borrow books on training, or look online, he must agree to be part of the training or it won't work. The dogs would also have to be, crated or confined to a room in the house on occassion. I will stress on occassion as I hate to see dogs spend too much time in crates. With lots of playtime outside. Keep your bedroom door shut.

I have a wonderful, now 7 year old, dog (lab mix from a shelter) whom my whole family adores. He is a graduate of 2 dog training classes. He has a doggie bed which he sleeps on, he stays off the furniture, stands by the door and whines when he wants out. He does go into my kid's bed, as they invite him. He goes to work with me every day and gets really upset if I have to leave him for any length of time, but he behaves himself when I am gone. And we spoil him rotten with treats and lots of playtime. He has his own toys including two frisbees. He loves to play frisbee, but refuses to give it up (something we need to work on) so the second one comes in handy. Oh....sorry just had to brag about my pup, training does work. :D

To echo what some of the others have said...Dog training would be a great compromise. Along with this training, investing in a nice big dog bed (that can stay in your room).
When doggie messes up, your bf should be cleaning it. Not you. You are pregnant, and you are not a maid.
Sorry you have to deal with this :( I just have to deal with the messy boyfriend and it's stressful enough :down:

There may be other issues involved, however, if the dogs are out of control and have had no training, there are some serious concerns since you do have a baby on the way and you have to think about the safety of your child (and I would say this to any expecting family with an untrained medium to large dog) The last thing that the rottie community needs is another "vicious dog attack" (doesn't matter if they were just playing, if your child ends up hurt in any way and the media got ahold of it, it would be a vicious dog attack)
Have you calmly (and "calm" is the key word) talked to your boyfriend about what will happen with these two dogs and a newborn in the house? Newborns tend to be chaotic, and it sounds like you're already living with chaos. At this point, the two of you need to be working together to reduce the chaos and prepare for your child.

It sounds like there some control issues going on with the dogs (they know they run the house), however, those issues can't be fixed unless you and your boyfriend can't form a united front (much like with kids)
Would it be possible to (from a financial standpoint) to take the dogs to training?
Yes, rotties are sweet and like to snuggle, but they're also dogs and as long as they are living with the two of you, they need to obey the human rules of the house (again, like kids). How much dog experience do you have? You may need to seek a professional trainer/behaviorist to help you out.
I know it's not a popular choice, but have you looked into crate training? It would keep the dogs out of your hair when they're inside.

And it may sound harsh, but if your boyfriend doesn't see that this could lead to future problems, you may want to consider leaving. You don't need to give him a "me or the dogs" ultimatum, but maybe a "Dog training or our child will be hurt" might work.

There are some other people on this board who are much more versed in dog training/dog behavior than I am, you may want to talk to them.

I think some changes definitely need to happen before the baby comes. Obedience training sounds like a good start, if you can afford it. I would also look into some specific training regarding to interacting with a baby.

I completely sympathize with your frustration of trying to keep things in order, trying to eat dinner in peace, sleep in peace, having personal items destroyed, etc. - living with dogs sounds remarkably similar to living with a toddler! ;) That kind of thing is going to bother you tenfold once you have a baby around, and especially when baby starts crawling and getting into things, it becomes important to have a clean and safe living space.

I think you need to approach this with your boyfriend with an attitude of - here are my frustrations, here's why I think x, y, and z are problems: now, let's put our heads together and try to think of solutions that work for both of us. Don't just say "get rid of your @#&*(#$& dogs!" That will close the door for communication. Try to find a time when you are both relaxed and bring it up in a hopefully non-emotional manner (yes, I know that's difficult when you're pregnant!).

Big :hug: to you!

Have you considered taking your child and moving in with a relative or friend for a little while? It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is taking you seriously at all about your concerns, and is just disrespecting you and the house in general. Telling him that you're leaving the house until he sorts out a reasonable situation where the dogs are not in charge of the house might work.

The first thing my friend said when she walked in the door was "it smells like he likes having the dogs in." Big dogs are smelly, whether your a clean freak or not, and thus, they should be OUTSIDE. My mother is even angry with him because she came over one day and said bluntly "He needs to keep the dogs outside, I'm sorry but it smells like the SPCA." As SeaSiren mentioned I do NOT want my child to be crawling around getting dog hairs in their mouth and getting covered in the grime they bring in with them (we live rurally, so it's not like we have a perfectly cultivated lawn with green grass, it's clay soil and semi-forested complete with horse and large animal manure)

I am happy with him otherwise, but to be frank, large dogs belong outside unless you like to frequently clean. I've told him if he wants a dog indoors he should get a small shorthair dog (they're called "lap-dogs for a reason) as they smell less, and are not cumbersome in their size. I am not the only who has noticed these messes and the smell and the only solution to this problem is for the dogs to stay outside like nature intended.

He doesn't seem to comprehend he can go outside to play with them, he could cuddle them on the bench outside or take them for long walks, large dogs need to be exercised and outdoors otherwise they get all wired and hyper and before you know it they are hopping on everything knocking things over (like my $100 vase) and spreading outdoor dirt.

They are actually trained dogs, but I think the problem is no matter how trained they are when only one person enforces discipline and they do not burn off their energy otuside, my home becomes their chew-toy.

But you guys are right about the obedience part of it and we do need to have a chat. I was thinking of offering him an agreement that we will take the dogs for a long walk once a day (which is good for me as well) and we will fix up their doghouses and set aside time to play with them outside. They will only be allowed to come in if the weather comprimese their health. Also, he needs to consider washing them on occaision to break down the oil on their coats. I think by scheduling them time he'll feel like he's doing something "special" for them, and he is going to sacrifice having the dogs in the bed I am absolutely strict on that, I cannot sleep when the bed stinks and is covered in hair, we actually have to stop in the middle of sex to pluck dog hair from our mouths...it's that bad

/shrug I've had that problem with cat AND dog hair. Doesn't bother us. But that's us :)

I don't believe in outdoor dogs. I have always had indoor dogs, big and small. Dogs, depending on their breed, carry and odor to one extreme or another (blood hounds are the worst IMO). Most likely the odor is coming from months or even years of neglect (and doggies) in the house. The oils from their coats are imbedded in the carpets, furniture etc. It would take some hefty cleaning to get rid of it and give the dogs a good bath with mild soap every so often. If the dogs are off the furiture then you would be amazed how little smell there is.

Other then that, I would rather see the dogs find a new home then stay outdoors day and night.

Veggiegirl.....good point, they're his dogs so he can clean up the messes, although my pregnancy isn't too far along yet I am getting fatigued very easily these days and the nausea is weakening me.

MEM....I agree, I keep on thinking about how much extra stress it will be when I'm trying to care for my child and dealing with jealous dogs which can easily overpower me and my child. I need him to start weaning the dogs from the home now rather than suddenly. I try to mention my concerns about the dogs harming the child but he thinks the dogs are 100% perfect....so I think I will make it sound like I'm scared of the dogs knocking the baby around or something.

Colorful....exactly! the dogs plus a baby is going to make me rip out my hair...I try my best not to go into a pregnant rage...but everytime I voice a concern or get upset he says "uh-oh here come the hormones" that makes me soooo angry because it's like saying "I'll completely disregard your complaints as illegitimate so I don't ahve to deal with them."

Elena...I like that idea, I think after we talk if things don't change I'm staying with my parents for awhile. That should sent the message. Everytime I go to leave I grab my purse and my keys and he usually comes running over "don't go please" and hugs me. But this time I won't be stopped.

I don't believe in outdoor dogs. I have always had indoor dogs, big and small.

Me too, and I have never had a trained dog chew things or sleep on the furniture.

omg I was opening this thread prepared to tell you that you definetely need to ditch that boyfriend, BUT then I realized it's you that's saying such a horrible horrible thing. Ugh! I couldn't believe it. He needs to get a custody lawyer and leave you now. I can't believe people still believe that they have to get rid of dogs when they have a baby. I can't believe someone would sooner force someone to get rid of their dogs than invest in a little training. That's just horrible.
:no:
"It's summer... It's hot out," yes, send the animals out to get a heat stroke and be seperated from their family so that you don't have to put your shoes in the closet to prevent them getting chewed on. Sorry for ranting over your rant, but I have no sympathy for people who treat animals like garbage.

There's no way I'd live like that. I would tell him that he needs to clean up after them 100% of the time and *really* train them or get the **** out. But that's just me. :p

Wow. What a rude post to place in somebodys thread asking for advice and help.

Its sounds to me like the bf and the dogs are the ones treating HER like garbage.

Being outside most of the time does NOT mean a dog will automatically get heatstroke. Give them water and shade and the majority of dogs will be fine (I'm assuming its not an ungodly temperature outside) My Aunt has a ranch and the dogs are outdoors nearly 24/7 and they love it. Big dogs need stretching, running space. And unless they are helpless, unhealthily completely independant puppies, they should be fine being seperated from the family for a while, especially since I think I read their are two. Even my lappy-smoochy-dog Chihuahua can go outside and be fine napping in the grass or moseying about the yard for hours on his own.

Not everyone shares your view on pets and animals. Sometimes people can't afford training (especially with the expenses of a baby coming up soon). And while I love my dog, If I felt it was absolutely necessary I dont see anything wrong with giving my puppy away to a loving home that is better for him/me.

HG, if I were you I would tell your BF to shape up or ship out. Lay down some compromise rules like...if him and his dogs are staying he had better:

1) Make sure they are outside the majority of the day
2)HE should clean up after them and clean the stinky house, NOT you
3) HE had better either pay for, or read up on training them because distructive, disrespectful doggies are NOT okay.

Pregnant women don't need that kind of aggravation, do they? ; )

i read the first post. and i just want to say that. i read acreage. build them a huge ass runnin room outside or something. cant ask a guy to get ride of his dogs. i think thats the best viable option.

I may have missed this in your post but did he have the dogs when you started dating? If I were to become seriously involved with someone who has animals I'd go into it knowing I'd have to accept them. Giving them an ultimatum later isn't fair. And most of the time they'll choose their animals.

I'd say there are other issues here that involve you and your boyfriend, not the animals - namely communication and respect.

I can understand your frustration, training sounds like a good idea, as does talking with your bf. It is not acceptable to just stick sentient animals outside. They still have needs, you just wouldn't be acknowledging them. If my bf told me that I had to get rid of our companion animal or I would lose him...I would tell him to go F%&K himself, and I love him intensely.
That being said, the dogs should be taken out daily, and that might help expend some of their extra energy. He definately should be helping out with them extensively, you are preggers and I can understand if you are emotional. (not to the point that the dogs should be treated in a f'd up fashion though)
Dogs need to be loved and NOT ignored, you can be irked at your bf, but the dogs are just being dogs.

omg I was opening this thread prepared to tell you that you definetely need to ditch that boyfriend, BUT then I realized it's you that's saying such a horrible horrible thing. Ugh! I couldn't believe it. He needs to get a custody lawyer and leave you now. I can't believe people still believe that they have to get rid of dogs when they have a baby. I can't believe someone would sooner force someone to get rid of their dogs than invest in a little training. That's just horrible.
:no:
"It's summer... It's hot out," yes, send the animals out to get a heat stroke and be seperated from their family so that you don't have to put your shoes in the closet to prevent them getting chewed on. Sorry for ranting over your rant, but I have no sympathy for people who treat animals like garbage.
I completely agree with you, kpickell.

If the dog is smelly, get him groomed regularly. Get his teeth cleaned. Don't lock him outside, that's just mean. Get him training so he won't destroy stuff.

If I were your boyfriend, and you gave me an ultimatum (me and the kids or the dog) I would be so pissed off, I'd take the dog. That is not a fair thing to ask anyone. We aren't talking about an object, we are talking about a living being!!

Talk to your boyfriend, and try to come to a compromise.

With some serious cleaning and training, you, your child and the dogs can co-exist peacefully. Both of you need to be committed to this.

I am with those that think that having outdoor dogs is seriously f'ed up. You don't seem to realize that your demands are just as ridiculous and extreme as his. Letting dogs go crazy all over the furniture and rip things apart is not acceptable, but neither is expecting him to relegate his dogs, who he is responsible for, to the outdoors all the time. You need to find a middle ground.

I know plenty of people who have big dogs inside and their houses don't smell. Don't act like it is inevitable. I also know plenty of people with indoor dogs and babies. The dogs just need serious, consistent training.

As I read it, the only child so far is the unborn child. Is that correct?

I've left dates because the guy said "I don't like cats" so I can see the bf point of view.

I didn't want to say this first, but it's really annoying me, so I'm going to put it out. It isn't your place to say me and the child...or the dogs. Obviously the child has to come right now b/c it's residence is your body, but the kid is not your property when it's born. Both parents are entitled to access to the kid (which obvious exceptions). I think it's unfair and rather reactionary that you would threaten to take away his access to his child over the dogs.

A bit of good old fashion maturity is needed here: talk and compromise.

ETA: The talk may not be best if you are really hormonal. Just an FYI. I don't even recommend anyone to have serious conversations when they are PMSing :rockon:

Not everyone shares your view on pets and animals. Sometimes people can't afford training (especially with the expenses of a baby coming up soon). And while I love my dog, If I felt it was absolutely necessary I dont see anything wrong with giving my puppy away to a loving home that is better for him/me.


I'm well aware of that. People get rid of the animals all the time for asinine reasons. But it doesn't make it any better. She knew going into this relationship that he had dogs. I agree that the guy needs to put in his part, cleaning up after the dog, and training the dog not to chew. And they have to decide together whether the dog can sleep on the bed or get on furniture (Personally I wouldn't date someone that wouldn't allow my dogs on the furniture or in bed).

I disagree with you on the emotional and physical health of outside dogs.

She knew going into this relationship that he had dogs.

She might not have known that he would expect her to clean up after them all the time, though. They're his dogs.

Dogs or not.. I hate it when people expect their partners to pick up after them all the time. It's a big pet peeve of mine.