This is my debut starting a post here so I thought - subject lite. Further, I'm not sure VB members are interested as not a lot are at this stage. Lastly, I do believe in live and let live, but this one just riles me.

Why renew your wedding vows? Why I ask you?

1) Most important point: You said them once. Didn't you mean them!

2) OK, you want to add new stuff or rephrase. C'mon, you may slide into purple prose that is just annoying. Again, the first vows, whether you went tradional or phrased your own, should have been sufficient to carry you through.

3) Aren't you just drawing attention to yourself when you come down to it?

4) How are you making your divorced friends feel?

5) Renewing at 10 years? Why? Lots of people can do 10 years. It's no big whoop. Wait until your 25th silver anniversary and everybody can party. I'm not even sure my husband and I will have one of those.

In short, I just don't get this new school renewing vows stuff. It seems pretentious. I'll go to these things if they offer something I can eat, and I will be polite, but I think they are bogus.

Forgive me if you have renewed: this is just a subjective view from the mind of Cymbeline.

Opinions?

1) Most important point: You said them once. Didn't you mean them!


:lol: My mother said that once!

Why renew your wedding vows? Why I ask you?

Why is it your concern.

1) Most important point: You said them once. Didn't you mean them!

2) OK, you want to add new stuff or rephrase. C'mon, you may slide into purple prose that is just annoying. Again, the first vows, whether you went tradional or phrased your own, should have been sufficient to carry you through.

3) Aren't you just drawing attention to yourself when you come down to it?

So? So? So?

4) How are you making your divorced friends feel?

Should we also not celebrate anniversaries.

5) Renewing at 10 years? Why? Lots of people can do 10 years. It's no big whoop. Wait until your 25th silver anniversary and everybody can party.

The world needs more excuses to party.

;)

The world needs more excuses to party.

;)

:lovesign:

Maybe as a spark to try and renew what has (inevitably) become a tedious and monotonous partnership?

Is it a little bit of quiet resistance to monogamy? A kind of second wedding without breaking any of society's rules?

Wedding receptions are the best parties in the world. I think, if you've been good, you deserve to have more than one if you want.

:D

The Rev

Yuk. I feel bad. I knew I shouldn't have posted here.

Yuk. I feel bad. I knew I shouldn't have posted here.

You think you have problems? I created a thread in the Product Reviews forum and nobody has posted in it yet! :moonpie:

I doubt I'll renew mine, although my husband and I repeat them to each other now and then, but if other people want to, why not? Sometimes it's a way of renewing the committment after the marriage has gone through a tough time (death of a child, adultery,...), sometimes it's at a big anniversary (personally, I think it's really sweet to see this when a couple's been married 50 years), but ultimately, as long as it's not a gift grab, what's it hurt you?

I think it's great. I think too many people do slip into a sort of rut and are not conscious about their relationship and renewing vows is just an expression of renewed commmitment, like ^^^said.

I think it's a cool thing to do, when someone means it.

I think it's just people drawing attention to themselves in a big way, a trait which seems to run rampant in our society lately. Now is that a good thing? Look at how wonderful we are. Look how we dote on each other. It just seems in bad taste to me.

I'm entitled to my opinion on a societal trend.

No! You don't get to have your own opinions! We need to renew a spanking for you! :whip:

:D

You get ALLL the fun of a wedding without the fear of being jilted!
Plus, you get to do the "wedding night" all over again - without the possible first time jitters?
um...
Drink!

I think it's just people drawing attention to themselves in a big way, a trait which seems to run rampant in our society lately. Now is that a good thing? Look at how wonderful we are. Look how we dote on each other. It just seems in bad taste to me.

I'm entitled to my opinion on a societal trend.

I think maybe you miss the point ... for many people it isn't a "look at how great we are" thing. It is a personal thing between two people who want to find a meaningful way to tell the other person, "In spite of all of the things we have been through AND because of all of the things we have been through I want you to know that I still love you enough to celebrate it all over again."

And if two people want to do that ... so what?

It isn't any more about drawing attention to one's self than a birthday party, anniversary party, engagement party or the first wedding.

And of course your entitledy to your opinion on a societal trend. You just aren't necessarily entitled to have everyone agree with it.

I think it's lovely and romantic to see couples renewing their vows, especially when they've been married for a long time. I agree it's ridiculous if they've only been married, say, five years, but considering how high the divorce rate in the US is, 10 years of marriage is pretty good these days! :D

Also.. great for couples whose wedding was dominated by overbearing mother-in-laws.
Or maybe..if it didn't go as planned/was rushed/tractor crashed into the church/partner had to go of to....Iraq the next day..

I'm all for it!!!!

Also.. great for couples whose wedding was dominated by overbearing mother-in-laws.
Or maybe..if it didn't go as planned/was rushed/tractor crashed into the church/partner had to go of to....Iraq the next day..

I'm all for it!!!!

Or if you wanted something nice but had to pay for it yourself ... but now you can afford the party you wanted to have then!

My husband and I renewed our vows. After three years of marriage, we decided to get a divorce....then after much soul searching, we reconciled. Though we never actually got divorved, we were divorced emotionally. After we reconciled, we renewed our vows at the Graceland Chapel in Las Vegas. It was great...we got remarried by a fat Elvis impersonater.

Umm, because it's romantic as hell. :love:

The union between two people is tricky business. Anything that can strengthen or add romance to a marriage is just good stuff! :hump::hump::hump:

My hubby & I are thinking of doing a renewal next year, for our 10th.

1) Most important point: You said them once. Didn't you mean them!

Sure! Does repeating them somehow negate that?

2) OK, you want to add new stuff or rephrase. C'mon, you may slide into purple prose that is just annoying. Again, the first vows, whether you went tradional or phrased your own, should have been sufficient to carry you through.

As if people don't change after a decade or longer? As if relationships don't change? Purple prose is just as annoying in a wedding as it is in a renewal - best avoid it entirely.

3) Aren't you just drawing attention to yourself when you come down to it?

I suppose that does end up happening most of the time, but that's not what it's about. My wedding had 14 people there, total (including my hubby, myself, the reverend, and all the guests). My renewal will probably only have about 5 or 6 people there.

4) How are you making your divorced friends feel?

If they're real friends, they will be happy for me.

5) Renewing at 10 years? Why? Lots of people can do 10 years. It's no big whoop. Wait until your 25th silver anniversary and everybody can party. I'm not even sure my husband and I will have one of those.

Why not at 10 years? It's a nice round number. :)

I think it's good to consciously and ritualistically re-dedicate yourself to things you care about. Of course, I'm a pagan, so that possibly explains things. My renewal will look and feel a lot more like a spell being cast than anything else...and in essence that's what it is.

Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks.

I think renewing of vows is adorable. First of all....

1. Any excuse for a party is a good thing.
My hubbie and I throw lots of parties. Our friends soon got the bug and now there are tons of parties! Its fun. Lots of food, lots of laughing, its great and it makes you feel so happy (even when you don't drink, as I do not.)

2. Bring the family and friends together
What a great excuse to bring family and friends together for a bash! Sometimes its hard to come up with an excuse to drive that 200 miles, or to take that extra long weekend, but with a family party of significance planned, people make the time. It not only strengthens the bond between the people renewing the vows, but also helps keep a nice healthy extended family!

3. People don't bring presents to vow renewals, so I don't think its really all that "gimme gimme" (I feel that way about bridal showers... what, do you need to get gifts twice for the same thing?!? hehe)

In short - romance, party, fun! :-) Two thumbs way up ;-)

Can I renew my vows with someone elses' husband?? :surprised - or is that a whole different thread....

Noelson -- lol.

Ok, I'll try again with my point of view -- and sure, you can do it anyway you want to and blessings on your little head. But please listen to this.

Whether or not your marriage ceremony was religious, I'm sure you took your vows as sacred. They were very serious. To say them again nullifies the first. To me this is clear. It's like it invalidates the first vows. Like you didn't mean the first vows, like they were not complete.

Why take a second mortage out on your marriage? If you want romance or are in a rut, go to Hawaii.

You want people driving 200 miles to this ceremony? Are you sure they really want to do this? Are you an environmentalist?

There's lots of reasons to have parties.

Lastly, it is just drawing attention to yourself imo. My husband and I are shy: we shook and shivered at the first wedding, which consisted of around 12 people. We don't want to stand up in front of adoring fans and recite love poems.

All in fun -- you guys do what you want. It's not the most serious thing going on the planet -- though my feelings were hurt that no one agreed with me. :stinkeye:

Also, I've been married 23 years and my husband tells me at least once a day I'm beautiful and that he loves me. That's what counts: not one day huge weddings and sentimental renewal vow ceremonies.

I never got to have the wedding I wanted but hope to one day when I’m finally out of school and then I want a banging wedding. I’m Italian and I have a huge extended family and all of our weddings are tradition. The entire family parties together all night long. My cousin had a huge wedding a few months ago and she and her husband ended up having the lot of us in the honeymoon sweet till 7am…so much for romance lol. We have such a good time together and a wedding is a celebration of love shared with those who mean the most.

Whether or not your marriage ceremony was religious, I'm sure you took your vows as sacred. They were very serious. To say them again nullifies the first. To me this is clear. It's like it invalidates the first vows. Like you didn't mean the first vows, like they were not complete.


Why take a second mortage out on your marriage? If you want romance or are in a rut, go to Hawaii.

You want people driving 200 miles to this ceremony? Are you sure they really want to do this? Are you an environmentalist?

There's lots of reasons to have parties.

Lastly, it is just drawing attention to yourself imo. My husband and I are shy: we shook and shivered at the first wedding, which consisted of around 12 people. We don't want to stand up in front of adoring fans and recite love poems.

All in fun -- you guys do what you want. It's not the most serious thing going on the planet -- though my feelings were hurt that no one agreed with me. :stinkeye:

Also, I've been married 23 years and my husband tells me at least once a day I'm beautiful and that he loves me. That's what counts: not one day huge weddings and sentimental renewal vow ceremonies.

If you feel that way, nobody is asking you to renew your vows (are they?) but not everyone sees it the same way. My husband and I would probably benefit from doing this some day and it would be an appropriate thing for us to to, all things considered, and would not expect anyone to drive any distance if they did not want to 100%. I have not ever actually been to, or heard of a renewal that was a big, expensive thing.

I don't get the "saying it again nullifies it" thing at all. Going by that logic, it is not good for your husband to say those nice things to you every day because it nullifies them, right?


I can't help wondering what put this particular bee in your bonnet. Is someone expecting you to drive to their renewal? :)