I am nineteen and just discovered that I am pregnant by my 26 year old boyfriend. It was an accident from the breaking of a condom. He is exstatic and has promised to take care of the child and I financially (he has a very good paying job) and emotionally and is happy and the thought of us "having our own little family." He wants a family in the worst way and has told me that if I bare his child he will be with me for life. His excitement has rubbed off onto me and now I'm not quite so scared. I currently live with my parents and have a low-paying job while I attend college, but I am applying for higher-paying jobs so I can atleast have a better income so he and I can live more comfortably. One of the places I applied at is seriously considering me which is great. He and I are crazy over eachother and he had mentioned (before the pregnancy) that we should elope next year if all continues to go well. I am going to continue college and obtain my social work degree as I am fortunate because he works double shifts on the weekends and is off during the week.

I wanted to state all of this so that those reading this will have an understanding of how seriously I am taking this new responsibility and that I am not simply going into this blindly or immaturely.

As you can tell...we have thought things through and now that I am over the intial shock and fears I am actually kind of happy at the thought as he is. But...the one problem is....how do I tell my parents? I want them to be happy for me, but for some reason, I feel they will be angry. I have experienced so many people call me an idiot over this pregnancy and tell me that I won't be a fit parent because of my age that I fear they will say the same. It angers me how people (inclusing my 'friends') have reacted to all of this. I wish people would provide support and perhaps understand it's not the age of the mother that determines how the child's life will be, but rather the quality of the parent's care and what she and the father are able to provide. I have seen 30 year olds who are worse parents than some teen parents I have seen....so really, I am fearing my parents reaction as it could relate to these innaccurate presumptions.

I'm scared, confused, excited, and worried all at the same time, any advice or support would be awesome.

my mom was 22 and my dad 19 when i was born. they were both freshmen in college when i was "created"..

almost 20 years later, and they are happily married, with three bachelors degrees between them. our family has grown from 3 to 6, and it is a happy bunch. I think you are handling this marvelously. my parents' experience has taught me that anything can happen, and it is not the end of the world unless you treat it as such. my thoughts and prayers are with you, best of luck :-)

Well first off,congratulations!
I was 18 when I became pregnant with my first child.My boyfriend was not as happy as yours,and we had many many problems as a result.However we worked through them and are still happily together with 2 beautiful girls now.All my friends said the same thing as yours.I was throwing my life away,i had no idea what i was doing,I would regret it tec.I was just as anxious to tell my parents too.However,once I came clean with them they were the most supportive of all.My mom was anxious and worried for me,but was there through the whole thing.Do you have a good relationship?Does she love you?Don't forget the news of your pregnancy means a grandchild for her.The only thing I regret is holding off on school.Whatever you do,no matter how hard,do not stop going to school.It will only be harder the longer you wait, the older your child gets.I am 24 now and have made plans and applied every year.i have still not found a way to make it work.
One other piece of advice,no matter how well you think you are prepared ,you are not!Parenthood is hard exhausting work,but is also the most rewarding thing i have ever done.Take all the help offered to you in those first few months.(not necessarily with the baby but all that other "stuff")Good luck with spreading the news,and congratulations one more time.

I was 19 when I had my son. He is 4 now and we are doing great! It sounds like you have a good situation with the father(I didn't). And you may be surprised at your parents reactions. I was so nervous to tell them but they turned out to be pretty excited. And it's not like you were being careless(like I was). You were using protection. I am sorry your friends are not being more supportive. I lost a lot of "friends" when I became pregnant but I am better off without them anyway. I say be happy and excited and it's okay to be nervous and scared. I think everyone feels that way when they are pregnant with their first, no matter how old they are. Oh yeah, Congratulations!!!

Yah, congrats to you! How very exciting. Where there is a will there is a way! Youre 19... you're an adult... you're NOT a child so what's the big deal? Physically, 19 is a great age to have a child... easier on your body and easier for you to recover. Start taking really good care of yourself. Make sure to take a prenatal vitamin EVERYDAY! Get some good pregnancy books, a sturdy bra, and some comfy shoes... you'll need all the above! Your friends/family will realize how great you are at this as they see you preparing to give birth, to breastfeed and to grow your little one in the upcoming months!

Go Mama! :)

Congratulations! :)

I can't say how your parents will react, but since you have thought all this through so well, and you have a stable relationship with the baby's father, I'm sure you can present the news in a way that will lessen the shock. I know lots of parents fly off the handle at first, then later become tremendously supportive.

Teens have had babies for all of human history. I don't think 19 is too young, myself.

Congratulations!! I couldn't exactly tell from the OP, but I if you're happy then I am happy for you! It sounds like you are doing things in a very responsible way, and this baby will have a great mommy.

Now about telling your parents...Is the problem not so much that you're nineteen and pregnant, but nineteen, pregnant and not married? I think your parents should be able to see past your age, and the age gap between you and your BF. It might take them a second/a few days to get past the social stigmata of 'oh no! my daughter is pregnant at a young age and will be a failure!' Unless they are conservative, they will probably be very very excited for you. Just tell them exactly what you've just told us! I wish you ALL the best in being a new mommy!!!

Congrats!!!

Having a baby at 19 is hard work but you sound like you know what you're getting into. I suggest being upfront with your family and just tell them. Also, tell them happily. If you say "Mom, Dad...I'm pregnant" sounding like you're ready to jump off a building, they're going to take it badly. They might go ape**** the first week or so but if they're cool, they're gonna be happy too. :)

19 is a lot different then 14, that's for sure.

I think their biggest issues will be a) you are not married and b) this will affect your studies.

But, if you have a plan to continue your studies and be able to keep all the dreams you had BEFORE the baby, then your parents will get over it quickly.

It just depends on the type of person you are at that age, I'd think...

If you're ready to settle down and bare the full responsibility of having a child, more power to you.

Your "friends" may just be displacing their own "trouble" with the idea on you...that for them, 19 is still young and a time to be "free", etc etc. Don't blame them for holding a common idea...

If this is what you want and you're both excited and he absolutely means he'll hold up to what's his responsibility as well, then rock on. I hope all continues as you want it to :)

:nigel: Cheers.

I can't help but wonder though...which guy is this?


This one? (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=33065)

Or this one? (http://www.veggieboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=32737)

...just curious as to the estatic dad-to-be is :baby:

:nigel: C.

Congratulations! :baby:

Thanks everyone for the support! I want to reply to everyone individually but time is limited at the moment. I have read all the posts though and they really make me feel loads better. I am happy to hear that many people have in my situation have obtained post-secondary education, that is majorly encouraging. As for my parents...I'm still scared of their reaction, but in the end I'm sure they'll be okay. As for my friends....if they want to be rude and unsupportive it's their loss as they won't get to be a part of my child's growing up and they'll lose a good friend.

Edamommy....it's good to hear that there are benefits to having kids young, I also have heard that you don't end up with as many life-long problems from your pregnancy as well (slack tummy muscles etc...) not sure of that's a myth though.

Pseudovegan...neither of them are the father lol. The first was a long time boyfriend of two years, and the second turned out to be a fling. I met my current boyfriend about a month after the ending of the fling when I was looking for a meaningful relationship.

Quick update....

He came home from a fishing trip today and I was missing him horribly. I was waiting for him on the chesterfield and I got up to hug him and he came racing through the doorway and hugged and kissed me and put his hand on my belly and told me that he loves me...something he said was difficult for him to say after having his heart broken in the past by others. We then sat on the couch together snuggling and he kept on rubbing my tummy and tears came to his eyes and he pulled my face to his and whispered to me "we're going to be okay, I'm going to take care of you and our baby."

That was such a cheezy hallmark moment...but it melted me none the less, but the moment was promptly ruined by a bout of nausea *blush* lol

lol--that is funny.

i'm glad that you're doing well and excited about this pregnancy.

while generally i don't believe that very young people are 'ready' to have children, i also believe that people do mature at different times--and sometimes they mature as something happens. So, even if you didn't know that you were ready, you are ready now because you're willing. And i think that's what's important. So, congratulations to you on both your pregnancy and your maturity in this matter!

It is possible to get an education when you have a child, but if you're school full time and working a lot--you may want to consider how you're going to balance that with child rearing. It may be better to just do one--and i vote for secondary education. Things will be tight until you're through--but it's better to be tight and with your kid, then to be more comfortable and not with your kid! a job is just an immediate 'more comfortable' but your education and the time spent with you child is a real investment in your joyous (and more comfortable) future.

finally, i think that the way that you tell your parents is important. If you go in nervous like "uhm, ma, da, uhm, i, uh, and well, we, uh, yeah, well, uhm, i'm uhm, you know, uhm, pregnant." then they're likely to freak out just because you don't seem thrilled about it. But if you and your boyfriend go to them--Guess what?! we're pregnant! isn't that great!--then they'll likely be less angry or upset about it.

granted, they may be upset about it because of their fears: 1. you won't finish school, 2. your boyfriend won't take care of you or be involved (though if he's there at the announcement, that's another thing), 3. you're not married (if they're 'old fashioned') and as far as i can tell you don't have plans to get married (to some, this won't matter), and a myriad of other concerns.

But, if you're excited, you'll be able to put a lot of their concerns to rest just based on your excitement. Also, consider going to school all year round in an accelerated program so that you can finish your degree earlier. often, it doesn't take any more time per day than regular school, but you finish sooner.

I had my children young, 18-26 when I had all the patience and energy. Now they are getting older I am concentrating on my career. Now I will have the funds to travel and I'll still be young. I will have already had my family and won't feel I missed out on anything. I love all my children immensely, I wouldn't do anything differently if I could.

Congrats and Good Luck!

HystericGlamour, I was 19 and my boyfriend was 26 when I got pregnant. Unfortunately, we were stupid and careless, but he was very excited and supportive, so that eased my fears a little.

As for what to tell your parents, zoebird has some great suggestions. When I told my mother, I was very nervous about how she would react, so I probably didn't articulate myself very well. Her reaction – “I knew this would happen.” But after my daughter was born, my parents offered me lots of help. Hopefully your parents will do the same.

The first few years were rough, but almost seventeen years later my hubby and I are still together (very happily, I might add) and he is the best dad in the world. You sound very mature and grounded, so I have no doubt things will work out for you.

I know I didn’t really offer any advice, but I wanted to share my story and offer my support. Feel free to PM me anytime. :sunny:

Congrats!
He sounds like a very caring person, so everything should turn out alright !
Good luck :)

Congratulations!!!!

I think 19 is a fine age to have a child. My mom was 21 when I was born, and my sister was 21 when her first was born. When I was still toying with the idea of having children, I was determined to be done giving birth by the time I was 25. I think if someone is emotionally mature, any time after age 18 is a perfectly fine and good time to have a kid.

I really liked having young parents. They understood me better than most of my friend's older parents did, plus they still did fun things like go to concerts and campouts and stuff.

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is going to make a wonderful father. I think your child is going to be very blessed in life, to have two such loving parents.

I hope your parents recognize this as well. :)

I'm also 19 and no where near ready to become a parent, but if I suddenly found myself pregnant *knocks on wood* I know that I could handle it and I am sure you can too.

After seeing some of my peers go through pregnancy, childbirth, diapers and sleepless nights, I've noticed one key to success: A lot of extended family involvement. If they offer help, I hope you won't be too proud to accept it.

My parents know that I am sexually active and so they also know that it is a possibility that I could become pregnant. Yet, if I did, I know they'd be sad for me. I don't think I'd go to them and say, "I'm pregnant! Isn't it great?" (They would think I was living in la la land) Nor would I go to them crying. I'd just try to be honest and strong and I would have a *plan* of sorts to ease their concerns.

Your friends probably just feel a little abandoned by you, but they will probably come around after they get used to the idea. :)

Good luck. :)

I have no good advice. Just wanted to say congratulations and good luck!

congrats...

Congrats- I'm sure you will be a great mum!

congratulations!
i think the most important thing when having a child is preparation and just being truly ready to raise a child. some people jump into it without even thinking about what exactly it entails.
you however sound ready. congrats!
a friend of min is currently almost 6 months pregnant, and she's only 15 wih a father who ignores the whole fact.
you're a little better off than her, and i suggest you treasure that boyfriend of yours, cause he sounds like a keeper! havin support is very important, and it sounds like you've got it. good luck with breaking it to your parents, but as others said... it's all in how you tell them. if you are calm and ready, they will be morelikely to not completely freak out. don't say it as if it's bad news.
that's about all the advice i have for you.
good luck, and congratulatons once again!

Hysteric Glamour,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Your excitement and committment to this baby are very clear in all of your posts so far. That alone tells me that this baby is going to be very lucky to have a mom (and dad!) who loves him/her. IMHO, loving your chid unconditionally is what is most important, and it sounds like you are well on your way to that.

Even if your parents seem angry at you when you first tell them, they will get over it, they will still love you, and they will eventually grow very excited about their new grandchild!

(BTW, I am about 25 wks pregnant right now myself, so if you have any questions or concerns or just want to talk about pregnancy things, feel free to PM me anytime!)