pregnancy and vaginas...

[rainbowmoon]

This is something I've been curious about for awhile. I hope its not too intrusive a question to ask?
What happens to your vagina after you give birth? A guy I worked with said his wife got so loose that he only wanted to do anal after the baby came...that kind of freaked me out. (plus, it seems kinda ****ty to me :no: )Surely its not that bad. What happens, though?
I've always wanted kids- not now, but someday when I am married, I do want children. Still, I've always been afraid of the whole pregnancy process...it looks so scary! Does it change your body a lot? Does it hurt?
Thanks, hehe.
Lovenlight,
Lindsay

[kat]

Pelvic floor exercise should stop it getting too loose down there, but I've never had kids, so can't speak personally.

[renaissancesun]

Nice guy... :sick: Yes, vaginas do get stretched out but less so if the muscle tone is good to begin with and they can be toned back up. I don't know if they are ever really the same but most people should be able to get thiers to a level they are comfortable with. A woman I know did not bother doing her kegal exercises and lost a lot of muscle tone ended up having to have surgery to have her uterus put back in place. That is pretty extreme but it is a good argument for kegals. Many women also have varying degrees of incontinence after giving birth that usually gets better as their muscles recuperate from birth. Kegals help with that too.

Everybody ready? Sqeeze 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 relax, repeat. :D

It's sure no reason to not have babies. Maybe your friend's wife does not know about kegals and if he could tell her about it without being a jerk they might both be better off.

[delicious]

I think it depends on the size of the baby, trauma during delivery etc. I know woman who say that theirs went right back and others who weren't so lucky.

I plan on having small babies. :yes:

[VegKitten84]

Wow, if only there were more men like that and we could all be so lucky! :up: </sarcasm>

My step-mother tore like you wouldn't believe, her insides damned near feel out when she gave birth to Chad. He was a big baby too, wide shoulders and a big head. Of course they sewed everything back up but she was still "loose" for a while afterward until she went to a sex shop and picked up these bead things and a kegal excersiser. Everything returned to normal . . .though never quite the same. Chad was worth it :up:.

As for my own mother's experience with vaginal tightness after giving birth . . .I'm not asking. :spew:

[bumble]

The doctors will often time 'sew' the woman up tighter for that very reason.(sexual pleasure for the husband)

[V422005]

If I had a husband and he did that, I'd divorce him on the double.

[beth]

Mine went almost back to normal after I had my daughter, but it isn't completely the same. It's not a very big difference at all. But I was a good girl and did my kegels. :angel: For a few months afterward, though, I had to cross my legs when I sneezed or laughed. That wasn't any fun. :no:

[rainbowmoon]

Oh my goodness. This is really freaking me out, kinda....
I knew I wanted to adopt. :)

[renaissancesun]

Well, most people don't have problems, and like a lot of other things, you have a lot of power and choice in the matter, mostly likely.

Nothing to freak out about. :)

[rainbowmoon]

Oh, but freaking out is what I do best.... :boobies:

[renaissancesun]

Hey, me too! Too bad it doesn't pay well. :lol:

[zoebird]

the main thing about both the vaginal muscles, anal muscles, and urethra is that they are all connected to those pelvic floor muscles. We should work them all the time--whatever the age or stage of life. It's very healthy to work on this area.

in yoga, we practice mula bandha. mula bandha is a sustains kegel. what i mean is, when i take my first breath of yoga classes, i begin mula bandha (and uddiyana bandha, which is the transverse abdominals). I then continue with these bandhas all through the practice--sustaining it for anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours (longest sustained practice to date, without breaks). Most of the time, i walk around and sit and do everything holding mula bandha and uddiyana bandha. It's also good for back strength/health and so on.

So, it should be done no matter how old you are or what not. The locks aren't held on two occassions for women: menstruation (there's nothing inherently wrong with doing it, medically, but it reverses energy flow opposite of natural menstrual flow, so it's not recommended) and pregnancy (again, more an energetic thing than anything else).

After pregnancy, women should practice kegels. of course, the vagina will be changed--but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It does not have to stay 'stretched out." also, we have control of those muscles, so it's possible to learn how to use them in different ways. For instance, i can use them to draw upward, i can use them to press downward. i can use them in a sort of interval way to change the pressure on the penis while it's moving in and out or based on where the head it. I can use them in a myriad of ways. This comes from knowing your vagina.

So, once pregnant, vagina changes--not such a big deal. You can still have access to those muscles, work on them, and then use them again as you did before (or maybe as you never did if you never had access to them).

also, anal sex is great--if you're into it. there are two sets of anal muscles and you can learn to work them independently, as well as working the pelvic floor to cause different amounts of pressure and friction on the penis. learning to work these muscles can also be beneficial.

but, i must admit, if someone 'insisted' on only anal for his pleasure related to tightness, then he's likely being a bit of a jerk--particularly if her interest doesn't extend to anal intercourse. Many women, sadly, give into their partners out of fear of loosing them or because they really have no hold on their own sexuality and sexual itnerests. One of my friends is going through this right now. Her husband has these ideas and expectations of sex. She doesn't hold those ideas, but does them anyway because she thinks that it's her duty or that she should or must. It's enough to make me cry. In any case, it sounds like a nasty situation for the poor woman.

But, working on her pelvic floor muscles will help (and will bring her more pleasure too). And, he better be giving her 'hers' if he's asking for anal sex. I'm talking, serious oral technique or something.

[bumble]

I think you just get to a piont,where the bringing of new life into the world,overpowers the fears of personal body changes ect.I know I used to be terrified in my early 20's about giving birth(I am still kinda terrified)..but I want a child more than I want to protect my body from the ravages of pregnancy.

[bumble]

but, i must admit, if someone 'insisted' on only anal for his pleasure related to tightness, then he's likely being a bit of a jerk--particularly if her interest doesn't extend to anal intercourse. Many women, sadly, give into their partners out of fear of loosing them or because they really have no hold on their own sexuality and sexual itnerests. One of my friends is going through this right now. Her husband has these ideas and expectations of sex. She doesn't hold those ideas, but does them anyway because she thinks that it's her duty or that she should or must. It's enough to make me cry. In any case, it sounds like a nasty situation for the poor woman.

But, working on her pelvic floor muscles will help (and will bring her more pleasure too). And, he better be giving her 'hers' if he's asking for anal sex. I'm talking, serious oral technique or something.

Thats really sad for your friend Zoebird.I could never compromise my thoughts on what is acceptable for me to do with my body~for someone else's pleasure.That is truely sad.

[zoebird]

she doesn't feel like she's compromising, though--or originally didn't. she felt that she had come to a good arrangement and that what she was doing was 'normal and healthy.' she still doesn't really have a concept of her sexuality, though she's working on that.

also, pregnancy isn't 'ravaging.' it isn't 'a delicate condition' or a damaging problem (no matter how medicalized it gets). it isn't something harmful. it is simply one of many healthy biological processes that brings change to our bodies. Puberty brought a lot of changes, no one calls that 'ravaging' or is really afraid of it. aging will bring it's own changes too, and they're not necessarily damaging either. Pregnancy brings a lot of changes to our whole bodies (including eye shape and hair type and so on), but it's a wonderful, healthy process for women who choose and are able to participate in the process. The changes themselves are beautiful and wonderful changes.

[hazardbliss]

I agree, Zoebird.

The changes are indeed beautiful. Things smell different, and taste different. I also adored my pregnant body, and the sensations are other worldly... there is nothing like feeling a tiny human body rolling around and doing all sorts of acrobatics inside one's belly. There were times when I could actually feel my son's fingers glide over and tickle my belly from the inside. It was amazing, I felt so full of life. I remember shortly after I had given birth I stared at my naked body in the mirror and placed my hand over my hollow belly... I felt so empty... so ordinary again.

But I also adore my post pregnancy body. I feel more womanly, more sensuous. My breasts are larger, my hips are wider and stronger. I feel like a goddess. Especially during nursing sessions. Feeding the young of the species makes me feel like mama earth herself.

I heart mamahood. :smitten:

[punkmommy]

I had a c-section, so i can't speak from experience on vaginal stretching, but know a whole bunch about most of my other body parts not being how they were pre-baby!. Pregnancy changes your body in a multitude of ways :surprised

[SilverC]

Oh man!! This thread is so making me cross my legs and promise my poor little vagina that I will never ever push a baby out of her! :worried::eek:

[colorful]

Rainbowmoon - :hug: It's not as horrible as it sounds! I promise!

I was a bad girl and never did kegel exercises. I don't think my vagina is any looser now than it was before I had my son. I'll have to ask my husband about that tonight! We still have very good sex though.

I tore a little bit during delivery and my doctor stitched me right back up. I had an epidural so I didn't feel either one (the tearing, or the stitching). However, the stitches were sore for weeks afterward. And the first time we tried having sex (6 weeks after the baby was born), the stitches HURT LIKE HECK! So, every week or so after we would just try to see how they were coming along. He would just stick it in slowly and gently (sorry for the mental picture) and if I said "ouch" we knew it was WAY too soon to have sex. It was about 3 months post baby, with LOTS of lube, and a very gentle husband, that we finally had sex!

Hmm...another idea if you don't want to do kegels. Sex or masturbation. Orgasms pretty much do the same thing that kegels do. But it's a lot more fun! ;)

[renaissancesun]

Hmm...another idea if you don't want to do kegels. Sex or masturbation. Orgasms pretty much do the same thing that kegels do. But it's a lot more fun! ;)

But harder to do it you are sitting at a red light, which is when my midwife told me to do kegels. :lol:

[beth]

Colorful, it was 3 months after I had the baby before my husband and I had sex too. I knew without even trying at 6 weeks that I wasn't ready. He was so sweet and never pressured me or even asked me, just waited til I was ready and brought it up myself. :smitten: I had a friend that had sex just 2 weeks after she gave birth. Ouch!

[Formerbaboon]

Oh my goodness. This is really freaking me out, kinda....
I knew I wanted to adopt. :)

Hell, women have been having babies.. well, since forever. My friend had a baby and she said she did "Buns Of Steel" type excersises to tone the muscles lining the vagina.

[bumble]

ooops..one more comment.When I spoke of 'ravages of the body' I was really focused on my immediate family and a few friends.My particular genetics,predispose me to gaining oodles of weight and having a butt twice the size after pregnancy.This is why I see it all as 'ravaging' .
But on the other side~I have met some women who look amazing,even better or have not changed an inch afterwards.I have seen with my own eyes,tummies with NO stretch marks..so please disregard the word 'ravage'..becuase it is NOT always the case.
:)