It's very upsetting...

[faerhi]

...to hear how many people have left this board (or unjustly banned) due to the strange "mob mentality" and harsh criticism that floats around here. I just thought I'd mention this, as some may not realize just how much words can affect the next person. The bottom line is, we're all human and we all deserve respect period. I'm not saying we have to agree with everyone or accept what everyone does/says but consider showing some respect for your fellow board mates.

I am not speaking for myself alone.

That's my two cents.

signed,
faerhi - Veggie Boards expatriate

[kristadb]

I don't recognize your name. Did you go by another name?

[faerhi]

hi kristdb - nope - I used this name...I believe I closed my account or something, about a year ago.

[Life2k]

I don't recognize you either, but if it has been a while, you might need to know that the policies have been changed lately here, before you get your nickers in a twist only to find out you have made a fool of yourself.

[Vicky]

looks like it krista ...

everyone has been nice to me for the most par so far, when they weren't people actually stood up for me and i really appreciate that.
i'm not sure what you mean by "mob mentality" i, are you trying to say we have an inner circle ?

[faerhi]

well hello, Life2k - see - this is the exact type of response that I'm talking about. I have not come here to start anything - I've come here to stand up for a couple of others and to bring this out into the open. I left this board on my own - realizing it just isn't a positive influence on my life.

Thank you.

[kristadb]

Ah. That's when I was fairly new :)

Let me say this - some people have been treated unfairly, and some people not so much so. Also, depending on who you ask and if they are on good terms or not, you may get a few different versions.

I hope you come back and try the place out again!

[faerhi]

Kristadb - thank you very much for the pleasant response. Although I have found a board that is more well-suited for me. Of course I understand that there are two sides to every story...although I had read and received some harsh feedback myself. I just think it's a trip. I'm certainly glad that I'm capable of allowing negative stuff to bounce right past me...although I know it isn't as easy for some. I do have to say that I learned a lot from this board though. When my husband and I first became vegan about two years ago, we were so lost! So thank you all for that.

Just a suggestion for new VB members - if you lean toward the sensitive side, you just might not want to get involved in the more social aspects of this board.

Fortunately, I've been able to apply my experiences on this board to my thesis. :D

[beforewisdom]

Faerhi;

I agree with you that people on VB do get bitchy overly bitchy with each other from time to time.

Without knowing more about your particular circumstances I have to defend VB without hesitation.

One of the reasons I like VB and one of the reasons why I think it works where other forums are ghost towns is that people are given a lot of leeway in what they can say.

If someone is banned, they have not only stepped over the line, they have driven over it........repeatedly.

This has been the case with the people I have known about being banned.

The deserved it and it was long, long overdue.

If I were to criticize the people who control VB in regards to banning people it wouldn't be for them being quick to punish people, but quite the reverse.

There are a number of people tolerated on VB who have no interest in veg*sm or in friendly conversation, only in aggrandizing their egos with obnoxious and juvenile behavior.

[faerhi]

Hi Vicky - re: my comment about the "mob mentality", what I meant was how people had seemed to gang up on individuals. I can't recall anything specific at this point, since it has been over a year since I posted here.

[faerhi]

Hi Steve,
your comment about other boards being ghost towns can be said for most...although a board that I frequent is always going and growing. Several of us have commented on how pleasant it is. When someone gets a little cranky, we seem to call each other out on it very well. Nip in the bud...know what I mean? Perhaps the b!tchiness and defensiveness has something to do with the level of maturity involved.

[beforewisdom]

Perhaps the b!tchiness and defensiveness has something to do with the level of maturity involved.

I would have to agree. There are a number of immature ( an not all of them young ) on VB, as well as some narrow minded people.

There is also a very large contingent of cool people here, some I would get in a jet to go meet given the opportunity.

I tried about a half dozen veg*n boards before settling on VB. They were either tightly controlled, ghost towns ( probably from the tight control ) or both.

I think any vital online environment with new people regularly coming in where people can have a wide range of discussion without being told to shut up will attract people who do not have positive things to say, and who are less than grown up.

I think it is the price to pay for not having AEWBOTN ( another empty web board on the net ).

[beforewisdom]

Hi Vicky - re: my comment about the "mob mentality", what I meant was how people had seemed to gang up on individuals. I can't recall anything specific at this point, since it has been over a year since I posted here.

If that is the case I would reiterate the point that someone else made that policies here have changed.

I started using VB in July, about 6 months ago. The only people I have had problems with were 2-3 people who EVERYONE had a problem with.

[Kreeli]

i am curious as to why you felt the need to come back after a year long absence and chastise us all about it.

i am a blunt person and to put this bluntly, it feels like you came here just to stir up negativity yourself.

the bottom line is, VB is one of the most popular and busy veg*n forums out there. yes, people tend to get fired up but the mods and admin to a good job (i think) of keeping it all on the level and trying to manage things. it is not an easy task with so many divergent personalities all mixing together on so many issues.

in the end you made your choice - VB wasn't for you, and you found another place where you could have your needs and wants from a veg*n community met. thankfully there are a plethora of places online that we can choose from when it comes to interacting with others of "our kind". so why make a point of coming to a place you don't like just to tell us why you don't like us?

[beforewisdom]

i am curious as to why you felt the need to come back after a year long absence and chastise us all about it.

i am a blunt person and to put this bluntly, it feels like you came here just to stir up negativity yourself.



That might not necessarily be the case. Often at my job my machine gets occupied with some very long processes and I surf to all sorts of places that I would never go to when I have better things to do.

This person could be here simply out of boredom. Otherwise I agree with you, it is fair enough VB is not for this person, but after a year it is time to move on and not care anymore

[Azalea]

Fortunately, I've been able to apply my experiences on this board to my thesis. :D

OT: That's interesting. What is your thesis about? (if you don't mind my asking?). :)

[faerhi]

Hi Kreeli,
Man, it is so common to be misunderstood in the on-line world. This is a pure example of it. The lack of tone etc. can make it hard to determine exactly what an individual is getting at. My initial reaction was wanting to respond with a really messed up comment to you, but where would that get me? And does it really matter anyway? No, not in the real world at all. I guess I've found that I'm a person that prefers relationships in the flesh and not on-line.

My intention was not to chastise anyone...and my comments are general and not directed at any individual. It was to kind of warn the more sensitive people out there. From a psychological perspective, some people can really be affected by what others say to them.

Why after a year? Welp, after having a couple of people contact me about VB in the recent past, I just felt the need to say something...I guess you could say that I have a "habit" of befriending the underdog. Character flaw, I guess.

Anyway, I've got the closure that I need and hopefully the others who feel similar to me will as well.

Good luck to you all.

[MsRuthieB]

I googled (faerhi) your name. Didn't you go by Faery Girl? I remember you. It doesn't look like you had negative replies or whatever back in 2003. I'm confused on who is leading you here now?

[Kreeli]

er, yeah. you mean you wanted to get snarky with me because i questioned why you were coming here and behaving like a troll but then you thought it over and decided to take the high road and instead act really condescending and superior and lecture us all about our poor behaviour?

well golly. don't do me any favours, thanks. :rolleyes:

[MsRuthieB]

So we are done with this since she she flew in and flew out just as fast? Cool.

[Pisces Coda]

I'm sure some people will flip out to this. Oh well.
Faerhi: I understand some of what you said. But, as someone who PMed me (a regular) had to remind me: you also have to take into consideration that for some people, this is all there is. This IS their world and these are their "friends". So, it will seem rather clique-ish/high schoolish. You just learn to read the threads that sound interesting, or relevant to you; and ignore the ones that are more personal. I usually just come if I need a question answered or to see people's experiences with a certain product or whatnot, and don't bother reading the ones that say "Please say something nice about me" or whatever. So yeah, if you know they don't apply to what you're looking for, skip right on over!
I have looked at other boards, if you know of some that are well-used, let me know. The ones i've come across aren't too active. Thanks!

[beforewisdom]

er, yeah. you mean you wanted to get snarky with me because i questioned why you were coming here and behaving like a troll but then you thought it over and decided to take the high road and instead act really condescending and superior and lecture us all about our poor behaviour?

I did not get any of that from her at all.

[Kreeli]

I did not get any of that from her at all.

i got that, and a lot more from her.

[beforewisdom]

Faerhi: I understand some of what you said. But, as someone who PMed me (a regular) had to remind me: you also have to take into consideration that for some people, this is all there is. This IS their world and these are their "friends". So, it will seem rather clique-ish/high schoolish.

FWIW, I don't think less of a person if an internet forum is a main social outlet for them. There are people who for various circumstances that is the case, but they are still nice people and have interesting contributions to make.

There are also people on VB who have very active lives and who still make time for VB because they enjoy it.

There are only a few people on VB I don't enjoy.

I don't think their obnoxious behavior is the result of VB being the dominant part of their free time. That may be the result, but I don't think it is a cause.

I brought this up in another thread, but in a nutshell I think those people crave attention and don't think much of themselves as they are. They think that by being sarcastic and adolescent they somehow become cooler, smartier, more interesting. For my part, they may irritate me once in a while but the prison sentence they have given themselves of being almost middleaged and trapped in a junior highschool mentality is their own punishment.

As you stated above, I think the best thing for everyone is if you see something you don't like is to just move on.

[Pisces Coda]

I don't think their obnoxious behavior is the result of VB being the dominant part of their free time. That may be the result, but I don't think it is a cause.

I brought this up in another thread, but in a nutshell I think those people crave attention and don't think much of themselves as they are. They think that by being sarcastic and adolescent they somehow become cooler, smartier, more interesting. For my part, they may irritate me once in a while but the prison sentence they have given themselves of being almost middleaged and trapped in a junior highschool mentality is their own punishment.
.


I agree, but my point was not that it's an excuse for their obnoxious behavior, it's a reason for why some people are so serious about it. As well as in clique-like groups. Cuz its the only place they feel they belong. Apparently this is all some people have, and they think being more of a regular makes them higher and mightier. I've noticed a lot of that, too. Not just for here, but any kind of internet-thing.