Unhealthy Loved Ones

[Jes]

Do any of you have relatives or friends who are chronically unhealthy?

I have one friend and a few close relatives who are morbidly obese and don't exercise. I get pretty frustrated and sad about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about accepting the body that you were born with. I've got cellulite on my butt! But I'm not about accepting an absurdly low level of cardiovascular fitness. I hate to see them subtracting years from their lives. These are people I want next to me as I sit in my rocker, talking about the year the Red Sox won it all!

Has anyone else had success in encouraging people to adopt more healthy habits?

[renaissancesun]

That would be my grandparents, for me. No luck encouraging, but they are all in thier 80's now.

My Dad's parents eat sausage/bacon/fried egg breakfast every morning and although my grandmother is somewhat overweight (grandfather a little , but not much) the biggest problems with them have been LOTS of cancers and general heavy amounts of degenerative disease. This has been going on since I was a child, so it is not just "0ld age". A side note on them. My grandmother consistenly leaves left-over food out on the table in a little pyrex dish to eat "later, for dinner". The temperature matters not and almost every thing she makes contains some animal product. When I lived there I constantly had cramps/diarhea and once I moved away it stopped. She also cooks meat that smells very "off" when I am there sometimes and when I tell her, she snaps at me. The woman is a registered nurse, you would think she would know better, for cryin' out loud!

My mother's mother is diabetic and WILL NOT give up her sweets, in spite of any number of doctor's warnings, or pushing or support fromfamily members.

Oh, well. They won't be around much longer. I hope I will do better than them. I'm getting there.

Oh, and exercise? All three of them are major couch-taters at home, but my Dad's parents do both get around pretty well considering. Grandma still works at the doctor's office twice a week and cleans her house (though that is getting worse ever year) and grandpa still goes to all of the local auctions and buys a bunch of junk and shuffles it around...and he works on their house.

[beforewisdom]

I have been on both sides of that situation.

I don't know what works, but I know for sure that bringing it up after they have already heard it and are not interested does not work.

The motivation has to grow within them, on their own accord.

[bluegrrrl79]

Do any of you have relatives or friends who are chronically unhealthy?

I have one friend and a few close relatives who are morbidly obese and don't exercise. I get pretty frustrated and sad about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about accepting the body that you were born with. I've got cellulite on my butt! But I'm not about accepting an absurdly low level of cardiovascular fitness. I hate to see them subtracting years from their lives. These are people I want next to me as I sit in my rocker, talking about the year the Red Sox won it all!

Has anyone else had success in encouraging people to adopt more healthy habits?
Yep, my aunt is morbidly obese(350-400lbs?), doesn't excerise, has diabetes and recently learned her blood suger was super high, but is now "Down to 300" :sick: , also has high cholesterol, high blood pressure, asthma.....basiclly she's a walking heart attack. She can't even walk up a short set of stair without stopping to catch her breath and wipe sweat :-/

[MollyCat]

Yep, my mom. She was diagnosed as border line diabetic when I was child and put on medication and by the time I was a teenager, because she didn't follow doctors advice, she had to start taking insulin. She was also a heavy smoker.
For most of my life, she's been in denial about her diabetes and her health in general. 20 years ago, my father got her an exercise bike to help keep the circulation in her legs. She refused to ride it so it became a improvised coat rack. A few years later, she had trouble walking because of pain in her legs. She could only walk a short distance before she had to sit down. My father got her a walker with a bench seat built in so she could still get around by herself. She refused to use it. Years later, she couldn't walk to the bathroom by herself and needed my father to help her. My dad ended up having to take over every aspect of running a home.. cleaning, cooking, shopping.. because my mom could no longer stand. He bought her a wheelchair in the hopes that she would at least try to get out a few times a month. He was willing to wheel her anywhere she wanted to go. She didn't want to go anywhere because 'it hurt'. She bailed on several family Christmases because of this and in turn, my father had to stay with her and missed them too.
She would constantly fiddle with her insulin to 'compensate' for a piece of chocolate cake. After years of doing this and having her insulin levels spike, her body became immune to the insulin and she repeatedly went into diabetic shock. Several times in the past 5 years the paramedics have been called to revive her. She's now considered a brittle diabetic.
Two years ago, she went blind from glaucoma and became a complete invalid. My father was her sole caregiver. She refused to have an operation on her left eye to save her site. And all of this started because my mother wouldn't take care of herself, watch her diet and exercise.
One year ago (Jan 11th), my father died. He took care of himself, took the dog on twice daily walks, volunteered and ate a healthy diet. He got cancer of the liver and died of pneumonia 3 months after his surgery. My mom is still alive, in a geriatric psychiatric hospital. Again, it could have been avoided if she'd just taken a few small steps. She's had 1 major stroke and several small ones, refused to quit smoking and eating poorly. Look at her now. The damage from the strokes has impaired her thinking and sometimes she doesn't even know who I am.
No matter how hard we all tried to get her to see 'the light', she was a stubborn woman. Now she'll live out her remaining days in a hospital, away from family.
Some people, you just can't get through to, no matter how much you love them or how hard you try.
Sorry this is so long. I think this was a long overdue venting session for me.

[Foxy]

Mollycat, that is a lot to deal with. :hug: Thanks for sharing that with us. It is important that we learn from the examples others have set and love ourselves enough to take the best care of ourselves that we can. :up: