Parents, and leather

[JavaPrincess]

not sure if this goes here but it has to do with my parents..
first off yeah ive been away a while needed time to self..
so my parents super supportive of my eating choices (being veg)
but the rest of it. not wanting to wear leather etc, not so much
my dads in the clothing industry, so he gets a lot of free stuff, he brought me home 3 winter and fall coats this year, 2 of which were real leather, all were free. they were gorgeous, but they were leather.
my parents know i dont want to buy or wear leather/fur/animal, but they think its stupid (their words - thats stupid sarah)
I am torn about this, these are coats that otherwise would get trashed, or worn by someone else,
I am wearing one now only because i cant make him spend 100$ he doesnt have when he brought 3 free ones home. and the non leather one was a fall coat. falls over.
I dont know how to get them to understand.
I dont know how to resolve in my head that im wearing leather, new leather.(well sorta new, its a sample coat)

[MsRuthieB]

Follow your heart on the matter.

You can give the coats away, after of course speaking with your dad first. Since they didn't cost him anything he may not get that upset.

Then get yourself over to a resale/thrift store and grab a really nice winter coat for $10 or less.

[kristadb]

Can you afford to buy a coat that meets your own standards?

I agree that asking your parents to buy you another coat is unacceptable, when they have free ones for you in the house.

[Foxy]

I am wearing one now only because i cant make him spend 100$ he doesnt have when he brought 3 free ones home. and the non leather one was a fall coat. falls over.
)


What do you mean by "fall's over"? Do you mean that in the "White shoes are only okay in Spring." way or is the coat itself the wrong material to be appropriate for winter weather (not warm enough or waterproof or whatever)? :beer:

[kristadb]

When fall is over, that usually means it's too cold to wear fall clothing.

[Foxy]

When fall is over, that usually means it's too cold to wear fall clothing.


Right, and certainly that all depends on where one lives and other factors. Javaprincess knows what she meant and soon we all will too, I am sure :)

[MsRuthieB]

Krista...there are really great coats at the thrift store..at least the on of the ones that I go to. It's very inexpensive. If JP truly doesn't feel comfortable with wearing the leather then I don't think asking her parents for a thrift store coat is out of line, especially with them knowing and agreeing with her non-animal way of life.

[Foxy]

One can probably even "trade" the coat in at a thrift store! (Present it to the clerk and say you want to trade it for a non-animal coat. The value -to an Omni- of the coat is going to be 4X or higher than a veg*n coat you could find and so they will profit (or take it for themselves)-I've actually done this).

Unwanted wearable animal products can also be taken to a consignment or resale shop (done this too and got a wrap and 3 outfits out of a pair of leather boots and matching jacket).

[kristadb]

Krista...there are really great coats at the thrift store..at least the on of the ones that I go to. It's very inexpensive. If JP truly doesn't feel comfortable with wearing the leather then I don't think asking her parents for a thrift store coat is out of line, especially with them knowing and agreeing with her non-animal way of life.

I think she should buy the thrift store coat, not her parents. She's old enough to have her own spending money by now :)

Foxy - Canadian winters aren't warm :D

[MsRuthieB]

True. But aren't parents somewhat responsible for suppling the needs of their children (up to a point)? I believe clothes, food, shelter fall into the needs catagory. And it's not like she'd be asking them to whip out $100 for a coat.

I like Foxy's idea actually. That way here parents aren't out one single dime. How could they complain?

ETA: It may be a little more difficult to ask you parents to buy you a coat Java, considering that you're older.

[zoebird]

give it away, wear it, ask for a new one, buy your own--whatever you feel comfortable with.

[spehlbaund]

One can probably even "trade" the coat in at a thrift store! (Present it to the clerk and say you want to trade it for a non-animal coat. The value -to an Omni- of the coat is going to be 4X or higher than a veg*n coat you could find and so they will profit (or take it for themselves)-I've actually done this).

Unwanted wearable animal products can also be taken to a consignment or resale shop (done this too and got a wrap and 3 outfits out of a pair of leather boots and matching jacket).
I didn't even think of that. That's a great idea :yes:

[JavaPrincess]

One can probably even "trade" the coat in at a thrift store! (Present it to the clerk and say you want to trade it for a non-animal coat. The value -to an Omni- of the coat is going to be 4X or higher than a veg*n coat you could find and so they will profit (or take it for themselves)-I've actually done this).

Unwanted wearable animal products can also be taken to a consignment or resale shop (done this too and got a wrap and 3 outfits out of a pair of leather boots and matching jacket).


Thats a really good idea, Its a really expensive jacket, a sample for Steve Madden. so it would likely be worth alot to someone not so worried about its material... and there is a salvation army and a value village within walking distance of my place.
I just need to figure out how to explain this to my parents....
I have I just discovered 8 wintery coats, (did a closet cleanout) so its not like i will miss this one lol (thanks dad)

and krista, yes sadly i am old enough to have my own pocket money, but somehow i have stayed stuck at 16, the age where i first got sick, im quite dependent on my parents Ive worked on and off, but generaly i dont manage to hold a job and go to school, so they are my income source. :-/ *wishing for stability*

[JavaPrincess]

Right, and certainly that all depends on where one lives and other factors. Javaprincess knows what she meant and soon we all will too, I am sure :)


lol its FREEZING here... thats why there is so much leather and fur around and available. by early november people are already wipping out their winter coats, sometimes even their boots. (we have even already had dustings of snow) (brrrrr)

[DannyKass]

Sell it on ebay then buy a new one.
Or wear it.

[JavaPrincess]

ebay... never used it... cool idea.

[zoebird]

yeah, selling it on ebay is a great idea. . .if you don't mind profiting from animal products. . .hmm. small question.

[DannyKass]

Yeah but JP got it free.
If she sells it then she's stopping someone else going out and buying a new leather/fur coat.
And she's making the bling.

[zoebird]

hmm. maybe. she's making pure profit off of it though. . .ah well, whatever. and, it is new.

[Foxy]

hmm. maybe. she's making pure profit off of it though. . .ah well, whatever. and, it is new.


She can donate the money to an AR group or buy more vegan good to help make it easier for her be a stronger veg*n or to do any number of good things...

[DannyKass]

And then she has no jacket.
And no money.

So it doesn't solve anything.

[Foxy]

And then she has no jacket.
And no money.

So it doesn't solve anything.


As she just said, she found several "wintery" jackets in her closet.

Anyway, I thought it was a given that she would have bought a jacket and could use the remainder to do any of the other suggested things...

[JavaPrincess]

yeah i think either selling it at ebay or trading it at one of the fripperies, might work out best, i can set the $ low on ebay and yeah foxy using the profit either towards ar groups or towards more vegan product would be ideal/good consious clearing activity. :) thanks guys... wanted to point out ... something a little odd, there was adds for fur websites at the bottom of the thread page...

[spehlbaund]

Yeah the ads are based on what people are talking about, like if we were talking about cookies there might be cookie ads :P

[bethanie]

True. But aren't parents somewhat responsible for suppling the needs of their children (up to a point)? I believe clothes, food, shelter fall into the needs catagory. And it's not like she'd be asking them to whip out $100 for a coat.

I like Foxy's idea actually. That way here parents aren't out one single dime. How could they complain?

ETA: It may be a little more difficult to ask you parents to buy you a coat Java, considering that you're older.

but, they DID supply for her needs, just not in the way she desired. LOL...this is not the same, but my daughter gets a new or used coat every winter...and one fall, i gave her a coat that had been in the lost and found in my school, a fall jacket, nice denim, gap. She does not like this jacket but I forced her to wear it the other day when I knew the winter coat she wanted to wear would be WAY too warm. I do generally let her make the choice about her own clothes, but when they are 'free' or hand me downed, sorry...until you have your own money to purchase exactly what YOU want all the time, sometimes you are just going to have to get over yourself.

That said, I think it would make a great statement to your parents about your convictions on the matter if you went out and got a thrift store coat (with your spending cash) and refused to wear the leather. Then they'd understand that whether or not they think it's 'stupid' it's important to YOU...enough to do anything rather than wear these coats.

B