School projects - someone tape my mouth shut

[kristadb]

So we have a number of....over-achieving parents in our area. J (7) had a huge project last year and his was one of the few that was child done. The rest were obviously made by parents.

Anyways, we're back to it this year. His was kid made. We helped w/ cutting out the small things, making clothes for the pipecleanermen, glueing, overall design, etc. But he did the work.

One poor kid's mother made a cardboard house complete with mini furniture and working doors, windows, swings, a front veranda, "glass" windows, the works. She bragged that she was up until 3am working on it.

I...accidently said, "Oh, I didn't know that parents were allowed to enter their own submissions."

:o

[Descentia]

Oh, but how much fun - I always wanted to make a model working volcano!

[Hel]

i've found teachers appriciate it more when the child does the work themselves and you can always tell

[Cissy]

Krista, that's great :lol:

I always did my projects myself. But then again, I'm more artistically talented than my mom :p I remember one cool project in seventh grade, we had to make a cell out of construction paper without using scissors. It really got us to think creatively. Everyone else was just ripping and hoping it would work - I used a pen sharp enough to cut :p

[rabid_child]

In fourth grade for our book projects we had the option of doing an assortment of things. For the book The Big Wave, which took place in Japan, we had options including making a model of a japanese house with working shoji (sp?) screens, and my dad said he'd help. My dad, being into architecture, pretty much made the entire thing out of balsa wood with little parchment paper screens. It was really cool, and I was there for the whole thing, but I obviously didn't construct that. In addition, I made another one of the projects - a pictoral scroll telling the story - without any help. lol. (I guess I knew I didn't do that first one!!)

How did the other parent react to your comment?

[kristadb]

I don't think she realized I insulted her until after I walked away.

[Kiz]

Be careful guys, I was always accused of having my parents do my work when it regarded art or writing. But they never did. Remember that Simpsons episode where Lisa is accused of getting Homer to do her essay? It happens, guys.

Though about the mother who acutally admitted to doing her kid's work, that sounds like something I would say. :lol:

[Foxy]

I don't think she realized I insulted her until after I walked away.


You didn't insult her; you simply called it as it was. It was *her* behavior that was out of line... :)

[kristadb]

Kiz - Yeah, she was bragging about it :lol: She wanted her kid to win first prize.

BTW, the kid didn't win at all. Some god ugly green, lopsided house won. It was the best of the kid-made houses, though ;) Momma bear did not look impressed.

[lvandok]

My sons school has a pumpkin carving/decorating contest every year and there is no way a kid created some of the entries such as a kindergarteners entry of a snowman(which won the primary prize) perfectly made of pumpkings. Sure put them up for display but don't enter the contest if the kid didn't actually make it, that is totally unfair to the kids that really did decorate their own pumpkins. Or maybe they should have a second contest for best parent decorated pumpkins.

[iceflower]

My dad used to help me a lot with my projects, when I was in 8 or 9th grade.
I stopped getting his help completely and started topping the class :lol:

[Cherry Head]

Way to go krista! :wayne:

[veggiewriter]

This makes me laugh. Can you imagine a homeschooling mother assigning her kids a project and then doing it herself and then bragging about it? Hah! What are these parents thinking?

[Thalia]

My parents helped with stuff like finding where to buy supplies and driving all over to get the stuff, or helping me if I couldn't get something to work the way it was supposed to. But if they actually had wanted to *do* the project with me, I would have been insulted. I applaud your comment, Krista. Overparenting burns me up. Buy that woman a copy of confessions of a slacker mom (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0738209945/qid=1100628184/sr=8-1/ref=pd_ka_1/103-8336450-3983044?v=glance&s=books&n=507846); it's how I was raised and the style I would use if I were a parent. How are kids going to have confidence and feel competent if they aren't allowed to fail and succeed on their own? Isn't failure a valuable lesson? Isn't learning that, no, you won't always be #1 a valuable lesson?

And what about the parents when their kids become adults? Will their lives have any meaning once they aren't devoting every. single. second. to checking every tiny detail of their kids homework, making sure their kid is sanitized every second, never skins a knee, never gets their feelings hurt, etc.

I'm mixing up a bunch of issues here, but I'm on a rant...(and they are related)

From this article I read in parenting mag (not available online, sadly)

Psychologists Laura Smith, Ph.D., and Charles Elliott, Ph.D., coauthors of Hollow Kids: Recapturing the Soul of a Generation Lost to the Self-Esteem Myth, use the analogy of a balloon to illustrate the effects of low, too-high, and just-right levels of self-esteem: "An empty balloon is useless," says Elliott. "An overly full one is vulnerable to popping. A medium-full one is resilient as well as functional."

[kristadb]

Thalia - J struggles with wanting adults to do everything for him. So much so, that it is affecting his work and behaviour at school and they are threatening to send him to social skills special ed during recess (we're looking into child therapists to help, instead).

His mother has done the "overparenting" in regards to doing things so that he'll be "better" then all the other kids. All it's done is make him incapable of making mistakes or trying anything new; he's used to his things being perfect.

I agree that failure is a very important lesson. So is loss. Kids need to learn it.

[delicious]

My dad always "helped" way too much. Kids were always wowed by what I had made. I didn't mind though. :)

[misq17]

I remember at my science fair in fourth grade, every kid in my class had to present their projects. More than half the class had no idea what theirs was about because their parents did all the research and made the project.

I actually know people who are 14/15 and smart whose parents still do a lot of their work :rolleyes:

[Dirty Martini]

Krista, I love your response :D

I don't remember any kids at my school with perfect projects. It was obvious that we all did our own stuff (or that their parents really sucked at projects!).

My parents never helped me with anything, because I'd always wait until the night before it was due, then whine about not knowing what to do. They'd just look at me like, "well, get busy..."

20 years later, not much has changed... see sig...

[SilverC]

My parents never helped me with anything either. And yet, they expected perfect grades. Sigh. Damn parents!

Principal Skinner: "And special awards go to the two students who obviously had no help from their parents: Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum."
Ralph: "I'm Idaho!"
Principal Skinner: "Of course you are..."

[kristadb]

:o

M's is later this year. I'm rather tempted to make my own submission and put it next to his with a sign : "Adult submission b/c I really, really wanted to do the project, but knew I should let M do his himself".

Must resist temptation

[Cissy]

Oh come on, it'd be funny! Have him do his own project too, though :p