The Thread You'd Love To Touch...

[LadyFaile]

yeah i figured it's about time we got a simpson's quote thread on the go.

post your favourite quotes, simpson's moments, etc.

my boyfriend's words to live by are: there's a simpson's reference to every situation in life
i sometimes time him and our roommate, between quotes. on an average day, it's about 5 minutes.

i've grown so accustomed to it that i sometimes don't even notice until one of them turns to me and says "how long was that?"

[VeggieMonster]

Classic one by Homer (When he's super fat and disabled):
'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

hehehe...

[Thalia]

When Homer thinks a waffle on the ceiling is God and then he eats it... "MMMM Sacrilicious."

[FemmeDemonica]

You intergalactic space hussy!

[Thalia]

"And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!" -Homer

"Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch." -Kent Brockman

[Max Power]

Hrmm... picking my favorite Simpsons quote is like picking my favorite beer. It's just that there are so many!

Some hall-of-famers:

Krusty [to Homer, on a gold course] - "quit cojegating, Steinmetz, and use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!"
Homer - "mmm... [drool] open-faced club sandwich"

Homer: "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us anything, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girl sports. Like mud-wrestling and foxy boxing and such 'n such."

and you can't go wrong with a few Ralph Wiggum quotes:

"When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University"
"When I grow up, I want to be a principle, or a caterpillar."
“Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, SuperNintendo Chalmers!”

Of course, the Max Power theme song might be my favorite "quote" of all: http://www.theback40.com/maxpower.mp3

and in conclusion, the toast I gave at my buddy's wedding in August; a Homer-toast: "To beer. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

[BigWaxJesus]

Originally posted by VeggieMonster
Classic one by Homer (When he's super fat and disabled):
'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

hehehe...

Haha, I used to have that as my windows start-up sound.

[LadyFaile]

ah i gotsta add..

when bf or roommate says "how long was that?" it is in fact, a simpsons reference. when grandpa simpson is asked "can't you go 5 minutes without embarassing yourself?" *pants fall down* "how long was that?"

hehe

one i use a lot lately is Lisa imitating Ralph "and then Ralph says 'I can do a sumbersalt' which has nothing to do with anything!"

[The_Gazumper]

Anything by Ralph Wiggum, in particular:

“Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!”

Ralph: "Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent."
Ms. Hoover: "Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?"
Ralph: "He was going to the bathroom."

"Oh boy - sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"


Milhouse:

"Remember Alf? Well he's back...in POG form!"


Homer, to the Smashing Pumpkins:

"Thanks to your gloomy, depressing music, my children no longer hope for the future I can not afford to give them."

[Verbivore]

Bart: Ah, come on, dad, this could be the miracle that saves The Simpsons' christmas! If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happens to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and it's gonna happen to us!

Hey kids! I made your favorite cookies! Christmas trees for the girls, and bloody spearheads for Bart!
--Marge, "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"

It's craptacular.
--Bart on Homer's Christmas lights display, "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"

Dear Santa, if you bring me lots of good stuff, I promise not to do anything
bad between now and when I wake up. Amen.
-- Bart praying on Christmas eve, "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"

I'm Kent Brockman. I'm here at the scene of the Christmas burglary, where a creature <was> stirring last night, and what he was stirring was "up trouble."
-- Kent Brockman, "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"

[Edited to add that I noticed that this is my 100th post. I'm in the triple digits now!]

[Max Power]

"Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? The birth of Santa Claus."

[SilverC]

Owner: "Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!"
Homer: "Ooooh, that's bad."
Owner: "But it comes with a free Frogurt!"
Homer: "That's good."
Owner: "The Frogurt is also cursed."
Homer: "That's bad."
Owner: "But you get your choice of topping!"
Homer: "That's good."
Owner: "The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate."
Homer: ........
Owner: "That's bad."

Homer: "Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs?Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"

Homer: "But Marge! I was a political prisoner!"
Marge: "How were you a political prisoner?"
Homer: "I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a picture?"

Mr. Burns: "I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing there are too many fat children."

[YumHummus]

"My cat's breath smells like cat food." - Ralph Wiggum


Ralph: That Valentine sure was funny.
Lisa: [giggles politely] Glad you liked it.
Ralph: Heh heh. It says "choo-choo-choose me" and there's a picture of a train.
Lisa: Yeah, nice gag.

[Thalia]

"Kids, let me tell you about another so-called [makes quotation marks with
fingers] ``wicked'' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't
always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...
I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what
I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?"- Homer in Homer the Heretic

Troy: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Ohhh!
Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor,
it's more of a steel grating that allows material to slide
through so it can be collected and exported.
-from the film "The Meat Council Presents: `Meat and You: Partners in
Freedom'. Number 3F03 in the `Resistance is Useless' series."

There's soooo many good ones. Thanks to everyone for bringing back so many Simpsons memories. Maybe I should have a marathon viewing tonight.

[Max Power]

Okay, I just watched this one and althoguh I hate to be the guy to post the "one too many" post, but whatever! Here's the transcript to the "Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokle" mini-episode:

[singing theme song] Some folks'll never eat a skunk, but then-again some folk'll, like Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokle.

[Cletus, to his 'wife' holding some old boots] Hey Brandine I just found these. I thought you might could wears 'em to yer job interview.

[Brandine] What? And scuff ups the topless dancing floor? Naw. Best you puts 'em back from where you gots 'em.

[Cletus walks out] Okay then.

[Cletus on top of a telephone pole] Back yous goes to wait for a woman of less discrimating taste [throw's boot over telephone wire and looks around] Hey I could call maw from up here. HEY MAW GET OFF THE DANG ROOF

[theme song] Some folk'll never lose a toe but then again some folk'll, like Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokle.

[Cletus looking through the Warner-Bros-esque circle] Hey what's go'n on on this side?

THE END!

[LadyFaile]

Homer: "it's long, tiring work, but when i see that look on their little faces.. i just know they're about to jab me with something."

er, or something like that, i may have messed it up a bit

[SilverC]

Groundskeeper Willy: "There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman."

Homer: "Stupider like a fox!"

Homer: "That's what you get for not hailing to the chimp!"

Ralph: "Me fail english? That's unpossible!"

Homer: "Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?"

[LadyFaile]

Homer: "My GOD you're greasy"

[SilverC]

Moe singing:

Moe moe moe!
How do you like me, how do you like me?
Moe moe moe!
Why don't you like me, nobody likes me!

[Astarte]

Homer: "Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!!"

"Hooty McBoob?"

Chief Wiggum: "The legendary Esquilax! A horse with the head of a rabbit.... and the body of a rabbit!"

Ralph: "Ooh, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!"

[ObsidianZebra]

My favorite Ralph Wiggum quote: "That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He told me to burn things." :D

[SilverC]

Kodos: *as Bill Clinton* My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

Ned: Excuse me, neighbor. I couldn't help but notice, you picked pretty much all of my flowers!
Homer: Can't make a float without flowers.
Ned: Oh, sure enough. But did you have to salt the earth so nothing would ever grow again?
Homer: Heh-heh, heh-heh...eh-heh yeah.

Burns: I need your help. I want to be loved.
Homer: I see.. Well, I'll need some beer.

Bart: Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Max Power]

In your face, space coyote!

[Molly]

Bart: Nothing you say can upset us. We're the MTV generation.
Lisa: We feel neither highs or lows.
Homer: Really? What's it like?
Lisa: Ehh. [shrugs]
from "Homer's Triple Bypass"

Lisa: I'm impressed you were able to write so legibly on your own butt.
from "Bart vs. Australia"

Homer: Waitaminute waitaminute wait a minute... Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork Chops!?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Oh heh heh, yeah right Lisa, a wonderful "magical" animal. Heh heh heh...
from "Lisa the Vegetarian"

[Squirly]

From Homer- Stut up brain or I`ll stab you with a Q-Tip ..... From Homer to Marge- Now that`s the dirty girl I married