Casual Sex

[mosquito]

How do you feel about casual sex?

I used to do it all the time before I got married, and I'm thinking I'm going to start up again now that I'm single, cause self-gratification tends to just make me feel hornier. :brood: My daughter will be spending every weekend with my parents anyway, so I'm thinking I may take advantage.

Any one else into hooking up? I know Krista isn't (which I respect). Cause she said so already. But besides Krista?

[eggplant]

It's never appealed to me because I have to feel pretty damn close to someone to want to have sex with him, but I have no moral objection to it or anything for other people. There's nothing casual about sex for me, but if that's what floats your boat, go for it. However, I think you do need to make sure that you know the person you're "hooking up" with well enough to know that he's not cheating on someone else, that he's disease-free, and that he's not some psycho. You don't want to end up hurting someone else, getting sick, or winding up dead...

[Dirty Martini]

Sure. with protection and the understanding that it's probably not going to lead to anything beyond sex (in terms of a relationship), what the heck. As long as you're willing to accept that something *could* happen as a result, and that you're willing to take responsibility for it (disease, pregnancy, etc)....

but I think that it's important to understand why you're wanting to engage in casual sex... for the sake of sex, ok.. but I'm sure others engage in it to find some sense of self or validation or attention and it just can't meet that emotional need. Be sure you're meeting your emotional needs via means outside of sex. :)

[kristadb]

Any one else into hooking up? I know Krista isn't (which I respect). Cause she said so already. But besides Krista?

That saves me from venting about this topic :book:

[mosquito]

That saves me from venting about this topic :book:

LOL!

I'm definately being much more careful about it this time around. Last time I was not so smart, and was lucky that nothing horrible happened. My instincts about people are really good though, and I thoroughly trust them. If I feel weird or uncomfortable or anything like that, I won't take chances.

[revelsunrise]

I agree with everything Amy just said!!!

I think that if your head is on straight, you take precautions, and you don't have false expectations, then it's really not a big deal.

[Descentia]

I think that if your head is on straight, you take precautions, and you don't have false expectations, then it's really not a big deal.


Me three.

[Kiz]

I have never had casual sex in my life, and I don't really intend to. I don't find it immoral, just... pointless and unappealing.

[Kiz]

I agree with everything Amy just said!!!

I think that if your head is on straight, you take precautions, and you don't have false expectations, then it's really not a big deal.


This is actually one of the things I dislike about casual sex. The fact that it is "no big deal". Personally, I don't think I'd like it at all if someone treated me as "no big deal" after sharing something very intimate with me. I don't know, I'm just not happy with treating lovemaking like fast food.

[Veggcore]

I agree with what eggplant said.
I have a few gfs that are into it and they usually tell about there latest conquests and such but it doesn't bother me. It is definitely not something that I'll ever do for many reasons but I can be the voice of reason for my gfs. :P Make sure they're being careful and the such.
Each to their own :)

[natalie]

ive never been one for 'sleeping around' but i 'snog around'

[Kamila]

I have never understood "casual sex". It always seemed to me that there were users and the used. The let downs could be amazing or even humiliating. I also do not understand the whole trust issue. Have sex only if you trust the other person is always on the list of when it is ok. Great. Trust them and you are trusting every single other person they have had sex with who came before you.

Herpes sounds fun.

[sky73]

Just curious, how does one have casual sex? :confused:

[Skylark]

Sky73, they wear jeans and a t-shirt beforehand, not a 3-piece suit. ;)

I don't understand the appeal of casual sex, probably because I don't enjoy taking people casually. These are real people we're talking about, and it's hard to know what's going on in another's head. Your partner may "say" all they're expecting is a night of sex, but time and time again, people aren't completely honest with their motives. That's an awfully big risk, IMO.

I try very hard to see people as more than their bodies. Casual sex seems like a way to pidgeonhole people for what they can and can't do in bed.

[shagginabit]

Never really been my thing...

[sky73]

Sky73, they wear jeans and a t-shirt beforehand, not a 3-piece suit. ;)

I don't understand the appeal of casual sex, probably because I don't enjoy taking people casually. These are real people we're talking about, and it's hard to know what's going on in another's head. Your partner may "say" all they're expecting is a night of sex, but time and time again, people aren't completely honest with their motives. That's an awfully big risk, IMO.

I try very hard to see people as more than their bodies. Casual sex seems like a way to pidgeonhole people for what they can and can't do in bed.


Hmm, I'm not totally opposed to the idea, but I don't think I've found myself in a situation where I would end up having casual sex with someone. Of course, there was the potential for that in my college years. ;) But now, I'm at work during the week and during my free time I hang out with friends, go to cafes, watch films and spend time outdoors if the weather is nice. Do most people have casual sex in the bar scene? If that's the case, then it all makes sense to me. I have never enjoyed the bar scene. :down:

[SilverC]

I don't even feel comfortable talking to people that I hardly know, so casual sex is not for me.

[desolationangel]

I don't even feel comfortable talking to people that I hardly know, so casual sex is not for me.

i'm with you, i'm very shy and so it takes a while for me to even feel comfortable around someone, much less to feel comfortable around them naked. my bf and i waited 3 months until we had sex, and maybe that's not a long time, but around here it seems to be. but it's better for me, as we know and trust each other. i just can't see not getting emotionally attatched to someone who i was that intimate with.

that being said, i've not got any moral objection, just personal ones, so if it works for you, go for it.

[Astarte]

Not even counting the risk of STDs, it's just not a good idea. Too much opportunity for misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It's nothing but unfullfilling trouble.

[mosquito]

As far as hurt feelings go, I make it very clear before anything happens that this is as far as it ever goes. That I'm not looking for a relationship, and nothing will change my mind on that end. If that is something they agree to, then I'm not responsible if they are lying to me or to themself.

When I've done this in the past, and made sure that communication was had in advance, there were no problems afterwards. I lived in a small town, and ran into my past partners alot, and there were no hard feelings. I stayed good friends with some of them, and was always happy to see the rest.

As far as STDs go, that's something I was never as careful about in the past, but definitely will be this time around. No it isn't foolproof, but you can catch STDs in a commited relationship too.

[dawngirl]

I've done it. I wouldn't do it now though. The thought of "hooking up" scares the crap out of me.

[catgirl67]

I have never been one to sleep around. Before I sleep w/ someone, I have to know that I love him, and vice versa. The only thing cheap sex does for me is make me feel like a cheap whore. I'm worth more than that.

[CarbLover]

This is actually one of the things I dislike about casual sex. The fact that it is "no big deal". Personally, I don't think I'd like it at all if someone treated me as "no big deal" after sharing something very intimate with me. I don't know, I'm just not happy with treating lovemaking like fast food.

That's the way I feel as well. To me the emotional connection and closeness is what makes sex worthwhile. If it's just physical pleasure I'm after, masturbation works and carries no risks of pregnancy, STD's or hurt feelings.

[Marie]

I have had casual sex.. It wasn't as casual as when I casually **** my boyfriend. We went over each other's sexual pasts, talked about STDs, had a talk about what we liked and disliked.. plus we discussed a few other things. It felt like I was interviewing the guy for a job. It didn't seem casual except that we have a casual relationship.

[Alfiedog]

Sure. with protection and the understanding that it's probably not going to lead to anything beyond sex (in terms of a relationship), what the heck. As long as you're willing to accept that something *could* happen as a result, and that you're willing to take responsibility for it (disease, pregnancy, etc)....

but I think that it's important to understand why you're wanting to engage in casual sex... for the sake of sex, ok.. but I'm sure others engage in it to find some sense of self or validation or attention and it just can't meet that emotional need. Be sure you're meeting your emotional needs via means outside of sex. :)


What she said.