Support thread for emotional/binge eaters

[Buckwheat]

Sometimes I wonder if I should post in this thread...:(

Why? Why not? Even if you are never binging you can support us others and tell how we can keep away from binging :D

As of my situation. After I posted my binging has became less and we have been talking a lot about it with my wife and she also made a decision towards healthier life. A bit more than 2 days ago I started detox program and haven't eaten solid food at all. When I'm finished with that in 10 (or so) days I am gonna change my diet into healthier and more towards vegan.

This fasting is partly to test my ability to control myself. Often I walk to the kitchen, open the firdge or cupboard and see what yummy I can find there. Then I realise .... no, I am not allowed to pick a single cabbage leave this time and I just take a sip of lemon water and try to be contented.

[Azalea]

Why? Why not? Even if you are never binging you can support us others and tell how we can keep away from binging :D


Bokhvete :hi:

If I knew I'd start by applying it to myself :yes:

I don't think I binge binge, --my calorie intake is high, but nothing extreme. Nor do I eat huge amounts at a time. But I definitly have messed-up food habits, and every day I eat a lot when I'm not hungry.
And I keep going to the kitchen to eat after midnight- never out of hunger, always just to eat...per se.

But I generally post in ETL, so I think I'll just stay there...:)

[Azalea]

A bit more than 2 days ago I started detox program and haven't eaten solid food at all. When I'm finished with that in 10 (or so) days I am gonna change my diet into healthier and more towards vegan.

This fasting is partly to test my ability to control myself. Often I walk to the kitchen, open the firdge or cupboard and see what yummy I can find there. Then I realise .... no, I am not allowed to pick a single cabbage leave this time and I just take a sip of lemon water and try to be contented.

BTW. I must just tell you right away here...that dramatically reducing your food intake in order to change overeating patterns often have the opposite result. Most people with overeating-EDs are familiar with this pattern where you decide to cut down on your food intake as a reaction to eating too much then after a while succumb and overeat/binge...resulting in guilt and anger and an urge to restrict. And off we go again...It’s (evidently) a very frustrating cycle to be caught in.

I'm not saying that this is what's going to happen here, -if this can help you better your food habits, then that's all the better. I'm just saying that it's a ...problematic strategy. For long term changes, what you need to do is to work on establishing good eating habits that keep you healthy. Not too much, but enough to keep you healthy. Living on a very restricted diet isn't healthy, no matter what your weight is :) (I’m saying this because I've seen that you've experienced that type of diet too earlier, and have been very thin...which makes me wonder if that too wasn’t the manifestation of an eating disorder. Your strong focus on “control” seems to indicate that this is the case).

Allowing yourself to eat can be a big part of recovering from BED or COE (or any type of ED, really). Because learning that you deserve to eat, and should eat, and need to eat is crucial here. Feeling guilty about eating or angry with yourself when you eat (or when you overeat) is essentially very unhelpful, and only increases the need to find emotional comfort in food.

Buckwheat- one important thing here: you are not a better person when you almost nothing than you are when you eat a lot. You are only a person who eats less. It’s easy to pour a whole lot of feelings into one’s food habits, and it seems to me that that is what you’re doing here.
When you eat next to nothing- as you do now, and feel better for gaining control over your body, it seems to me that you still have the same mindset that makes you overeat. The ideal should be to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. There is really nothing inherently better about ignoring hunger than ignoring fullness.
(to me, that is one of the things that define EDs I general- the parallel between the anorexic and the compulsive overeater. It’s only sad that the former is often taken much more seriously (…and certainly, it IS a serious illness) than the latter. But that’s a different topic…).

Equalling not eating with control is much like equalling eating with loss of control. Detaching yourself from that particular view of things and seeing that 1) eating is necessary, 2) your food habits/weight does not define you 3) the ideal is not not eating, but eating enough but not excessively 4) to have control is basically to allow your body signals to define your food habits, not ignoring hunger.

I’ll shut up now. :sweat:

[Jinga]

^ I am living proof of restriction leading to severe binging disorders. After a period of intentional over restriction, I developed binge eating habits. Eating more than a days worth of calories in one sitting was something I put myself through several times a day. The days pretty much became eating until I cried in emotional and physical pain and then laying in bed for hours ... then getting up and doing it all over again. I not only gained a significant amount of weight, I became severely depressed. It was not until I managed to look at food as a means of nuturing my body, and convincing myself I deserved it, that I started the path to recovery.

[Azalea]

:hug: that must have been so hard, Jinga.

I'm glad you've been able to overcome this :)

[Jinga]

:hug: that must have been so hard, Jinga.

I'm glad you've been able to overcome this :)

Thank you, Azalea. :love:

It was the worst time of my life, but overcoming it was an extremely enlightening and self-broadening experience. I am a better person because of it. I can't say I never have a binge or never overeat, but I am very aware of what situations or emotions lead me to eat. Now, its more like once a month after an extra stressful day. I consider that to be a 'normal' behavior and allow myself to pig-out once in awhile. I now know I control the situation, not the disorder. Its a very empowering realization.

[Buckwheat]

Thanks, Azalea, for so many wise words :D Now I read it through only once because I need to go soon but I will come back into it many times later. I think I partly know the risks and traps. Yes, and I admit I have eating disorder. It was the first thing to cause me great relief after joining VB. Maybe it's so deep inside me that I can never overcome it totally but I'll keep trying. Now I also admit that I can't do it alone. Before I used to think so but now I see how much getting support means. But still much to learn. Now I tend to think that my excess overweight threatens my health and I really have to lose weight. But you tell about ED's makes me think it the other way. Uh, really need some time and effort to get into terms with this. Eh, eys, partly is definition of that "better person". Maybe he is not slim as I have thought but something in between, at least something more constant in weight and not like this rollercoaster going up and down between 50 and 100 kilo's.

Jinga, thanks for sharing your experience. Great, indeed, that you managed to overcome it and become a better person You indeed have a good reason to smile and laugh now :D Hoping to get there some day!

[DoshKel]

I need some help with last night....I just all out binged. I have had binges before in my past, but not like this one. Like when someone uses the phrase "eating out the house" people don't take it seriously as actually eating everything in the house right? Well, I DID eat everything in my house. I actually ate so much that I basically had to go in my room sick in the middle of it and just pass out. I consumed well over 10,000 calories in that one sitting in addition to my regular calories for a day (I also didn't run yesterday either). It was bad. I woke up this morning and decided not to go to school because I felt so bad, and take this day off again. I didn't run today, but I also have only eaten 408 calories for the whole day. I'm in such a pickle with myself today. I need some suggestions on what to do. I don't plan on going over 900 calories for the whole day today because of last night. Its 7:00 pm here, so I can't run either. I plan on running my normal 5 miles tomorrow, but haven't decided what I am going to do about my calories. I have called my therapist, but can't get in till next week. I never thought this cycle would start up again because I was pretty much recovered from my anna stuff, but I fear this kind of stuff is happening again. I had a smaller binge last month also. Ugh.... Any suggestions?

Cheers.

[April]

The most important thing you can do to prevent another binge is to NOT RESTRICT now.
Just eat when you're hungry, as I hope you normally do. Who knows what caused the binge this time- maybe it can be attributed to not getting *quite* enough calories over a period of time, paired with anxiety about life in general. But quite likely it could have been hunger in conjunction with anxiety regarding overcoming your eating disorder. Perhaps it was because part of you was angry that you treated yourself poorly before, so food was instant pleasure and comfort. This could have escalated to self anger for treating yourself poorly in the moment by binging. You have to STOP the cycle by stop treating yourself poorly. Don't restrict calories. If you were a robot, then the extra calories you had last night would keep you satisfied for a few days, but it's just not like that. You will get hungry again, and if you don't satisfy the hunger (completely and consistently), you'll only be headed toward more binging and more self-dissatisfaction. Take a deep breath. Tell youself life goes on, and that your eating should never be something that gets in the way of your happiness.

Also, trying to exercise away all of the calories will also lead you to binging again for the same reasons restricting would. Don't exercise to punish yourself.

You have my best wishes, and I really do hope you treat yourself well.

[DoshKel]

The most important thing you can do to prevent another binge is to NOT RESTRICT now.
Just eat when you're hungry, as I hope you normally do. Who knows what caused the binge this time- maybe it can be attributed to not getting *quite* enough calories over a period of time, paired with anxiety about life in general. But quite likely it could have been hunger in conjunction with anxiety regarding overcoming your eating disorder. Perhaps it was because part of you was angry that you treated yourself poorly before, so food was instant pleasure and comfort. This could have escalated to self anger for treating yourself poorly in the moment by binging. You have to STOP the cycle by stop treating yourself poorly. Don't restrict calories. If you were a robot, then the extra calories you had last night would keep you satisfied for a few days, but it's just not like that. You will get hungry again, and if you don't satisfy the hunger (completely and consistently), you'll only be headed toward more binging and more self-dissatisfaction. Take a deep breath. Tell youself life goes on, and that your eating should never be something that gets in the way of your happiness.

Also, trying to exercise away all of the calories will also lead you to binging again for the same reasons restricting would. Don't exercise to punish yourself.

You have my best wishes, and I really do hope you treat yourself well.

Thanks for your response :). I did cut back on my calories today, but got the 1,200 rocommended...so I didn't go SO low at least heh. Tomorrow is going to be better. I am going to eat and live like I have been for so long tomorrow...no restricting or anything. Thanks again :).

Cheers.

[April]

:kiss: For what it's worth, 1,200 calories usually leaves me ready to bite someone's head off, and I'm not an althletic, growing teenaged male.

[DoshKel]

:kiss: For what it's worth, 1,200 calories usually leaves me ready to bite someone's head off, and I'm not an althletic, growing teenaged male.
Usually it does for me also heh. I get double this every day actually, it is just that I didn't do anything but lay in bed and watch movies today (I usually run and bike and move around everday). Don't worry though...I will def. get my 2,400 tomorrow...no excuses :D.

Cheers.

[mayuko]

grr... okay, could somebody tell me that just because i'm upset and depressed and on my period and overemotional and in love with a guy who has a girlfriend who is visiting the college this weekend and getting me even more upset and depressed, that doesn't mean that i need to stuff myself silly on whatever i can find, even if it's junk food, even if it's non-vegan? :wall: i'm really just adding insult to injury lately, and i feel absolutely trapped.

[CountessKerouac]

I had such a bingey-ED-like week.

For some reason I feel the need to confess my wackiness on VB.

Thursday, I ate normally, but a bit above my usual. I was feeling VERY upset because my boyfriend was straight-up ignoring me (things are okay now though). I felt fat and ashamed of my body that I actually felt physically sick to my stomach. I threw up most of my dinner without really trying. :no: I only have done this about three or four times in my lifetime and I don't have an ED. It was just a one time thing.

But, I guess for my body to make up for it, I binged on PB last night. I ate 3/4 of a small jar. I emptied the excess oil out of it (you know how the natural kind seperates) like I always do because I don't like it and it was unsalted, but I still ate like 8 or 10 servings, plus like 30 wheat thins and a half a small jar of preserves. Plus a ww bagel. Plus a piece of ww bread. And that was ADDED to the 2,000 calories I had eaten during the day. Today I'm not eating much to make up for it. But, I must get back to normal eating and forget about this insane episode. I am just having emotional problems. :sick: Sorry for my rant/silliness.

[mer-girl]

no no no no no. Eat. this is exactly how my ED got started. Don't count calories today, Start off with something simple and fibre-y, like oatmeal and an orange. This will kick your metabolism into gear. THen, don't eat until you feel hungry. Let your stomach, not your heart, be your indicator. But you need food.

[April]

Mayuko~


Just because you're upset and depressed and on your period and overemotional and in love with a guy who has a girlfriend who is visiting the college this weekend and getting you even more upset and depressed, that doesn't mean that you need to stuff yourself silly on whatever you can find, even if its' junk food, even if it's non-vegan!

Cry. Try to get it out of your system a bit. Acknowledge what you feel, and acknowledge that it isn't good. Then go to a good friend's dorm and bitch about it all you want. More friends could make this more fun.
If you're feeling bad, don't try to push it away- don't give yourself something else to feel bad about to distract you (which binging is doing). Instead, do something that actually makes you feel good. :hug:

[April]

Countess~ Like Mer-girl said, don't restrict. It never helps. I'm sorry you were feeling so bad, and I'm glad you're feeling better now. Man, that came out vague and corny. But really, I've been where you are/where before. All I could say to you is that a binge isn't really that big of a deal in the scope of life, and you can't undo it by restricting in the future. Focus on being in touch with your emotions, and being happy. Don't focus on calorie intake.

[Azalea]

April- you give the best advice :smitten:

[IamJen]

April- you give the best advice :smitten:

:up:

[mayuko]

yeah april, you rock :lovesign:

i moved to another dorm, moved in with my best friends so that should be good. it's also the same dorm as the source of a lot of my troubles.. :/ but i think i'll be okay. i hope.

if not, i'll be in here bitching again :lol:

[April]

:smitten:

[V422005]

sometimes eating is the only thing that feels good.

[mayuko]

:hug:

[IamJen]

sometimes eating is the only thing that feels good.
True, but that's only temporary. Solving the problems that cause you to feel poorly in the first place = only solution. Harder, but worth it. :)

[Jinga]

Does eating too much really make you feel good, though? When I overeat, I am riddled with guilt and the physical discomfort of forcing food into my system. There really isn't a joy associated with binging. I didn't even taste the food as it was a mindless act of attempting to bury/ignore my emotions. What I did feel was the almost immediate 'aftermath'. What really feels good is re-learning to read your bodys physical and emotional signals and giving yourself what you truly need when you need it.